Being Tested

[plymouth pete]

Hi Guys. Excellent forum by the way. Apologies my first post has to be a bit of  downer.

I want to start getting tested periodically. I don't have a clue where to go or how it works. Do they need your real name and address? Does your doctor know? Private? Hospital? Do you book appointments or jut turn up? Lets say I know quite a few medical professionals in my area, could I travel elsewhere? any reason  I couldn't?

Your get the idea. Thanks

I will really appreciate your advice and promise to add something more useful in the future

Thanks and good punting!

[fredpunter]

I'm 99% certain all your questions have been answered on other threads but it's a subject close to my heart so ...

google STI clinics and it will almose certainly come up with a result "clinics near me" or some such thing.

Each clinic will list its own opening hours and whether certain times are reserved for just women, just youngsters, just gays etc and whether you need an appointment or can just turn up.

You don't have to give your real name and address though they will want your post code or part there-of.

they won't tell your doctor without your permission.

You can go to any clinic in the country as far as I'm aware - that's why they need your post code I think - so they can cross charge your local nhs area.

There's no need to go private - NHS is fine.   

And finally - if the doctor/nurse examing you tells you that she is 99% certain you have chlamydia, puts you on antibiotics there and then, and gives you a form to give your spouse so that she can get some too without even waiting for the test results - don't listen! wait for the test results before telling your wife - because if/when they come back negative you will feel ever so slightly less like murdering the bitch doctor/nurse. 

[milo]

It's probably worth your while looking at the PuntingWiki section at the bottom of the page, if you haven't already.

Here is a direct link to the STI section.

External Link/Members Only

[Bangers and Gash]

I don't have a clue where to go or how it works. Do they need your real name and address?

NO, and they're trying it on if they ask for it. Just give them a first name, D.O.B and PAYG punting phone number. They need nothing else.

Does your doctor need to know?

NO, but if you've nothing to loose it's OK, otherwise see above.

Private? Hospital?

Go NHS. That's why you pay tax.

Do you book appointments or jut turn up?

Depends. Try googling your local GUM.

Lets say I know quite a few medical professionals in my area, could I travel elsewhere? any reason  I couldn't?

You can go anywhere you like. Although, if you're making several trips per year then ideally it needs to be somewhere convenient.

[TheNewSeeker]

Read these
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=58732

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=114375

[jlike]

If you are from the city in your name then Derriford Hospital has a GUM clinic. Just do a walk in, doors open about 8.15am. You are asked to fill in a form and then given a number. How much detail you give is up to you but they require a mobile number to text you the results and the first part of your postcode to know what area you come from for costing purposes. The staff there are totally non judgemental and if you are first in then you will be there no more than 20 mins. Results are texted to your phone, they say up to two weeks but mine have always come through within a few days.

[martyn74]

If you are from the city in your name then Derriford Hospital has a GUM clinic. Just do a walk in, doors open about 8.15am. You are asked to fill in a form and then given a number. How much detail you give is up to you but they require a mobile number to text you the results and the first part of your postcode to know what area you come from for costing purposes. The staff there are totally non judgemental and if you are first in then you will be there no more than 20 mins. Results are texted to your phone, they say up to two weeks but mine have always come through within a few days.

+ 1  on this post.  Good advice JLike. 
I get  tested  here regularly, always use walk in appointment, never had to wait particularly long. 
Be straight with them about your sexual history and concerns, they are totally non judgemental, so that they can do all the tests needed.
Contact details  External Link/Members Only

[Silver Birch]

I visited St Albans one day and there was a 2 hour wait to even get seen & that is a long time when you are busting for a piss. I actually had to leave before getting seen but returned the next day and there was only 2 people waiting. I guess it is luck of the draw.

I have been to a few other clinics and they have all been packed to the rafters.

Real "punting" name - Yes
Real DOB - Yes
Real address - No
Real "punting" phone number - Yes
Local clinic - No!

[usingmyspareemail]

If you're in / planning to be in London, I can recommend Dean St. Express (34 Dean St). External Link/Members Only Main website: External Link/Members Only

Time slots are released at 7pm the night before, and you just turn up at the correct time. For info, it's 10.30pm now as I write this, and the clinic still has slots available for tomorrow at 9.15, 9.45, 16.30, 16.45 and 17.00.

You need:
- A real mobile phone number - results get texted to you, plus you need it to secure your time slot.
- A name (no one checks ID)
- A postcode (doesn't have to be yours, just needs to be real - I used the postcode for a local shop)
- A date of birth (approximate)

The main website has a video explaining how the process works when you get there. In brief:
- Turn up, with confirmation text on your phone.
- Tap a touchscreen to fill in your info in reception - e.g. fake DOB, someone else's postcode, fake name, have you had sex with any men, what sex are you, etc.
- They'll give you a card so you can swipe in without filling all this in on future visits.
- Staff give you a bottle to piss in and send you to a cubicle (don't piss for an hour before you get there). The vacuum tube to send your pee off may not work - no worries, just give it to reception staff.
- You then take a seat in the basement, and wait for a nurse to call your name (remember your fake name!).
- The nurse may ask you a few more questions, and will take a small amount of blood.
- You'll probably be in and out in under 30 minutes.
- Results are texted to you - I got my Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia tests within two hours, and Hep C, HIV and Syphilis tests within four hours (all negative, fist pump!)

1. No one knows or cares who you really are.
2. It's busy as fuck. No one gives a toss that you are there, most people (when I go) look like regular gay guys who are being responsible.
3. The staff are really nice, but very busy.
4. The nurses have heard it all before - they have always been happy to answer my questions, and never seemed close to being surprised by my antics.
5. It's free.

[martyn74]

Some good advice on this thread.
Oh, and you're welcome OP

I just want to make it clear that not everyone fro Plymouth is this rude