Has anyone ever been rejected? Feeling pretty down and apprehensive...

[PhillyExPat]

I was going through profiles today pretty set and excited about having my first punting experience, until I came across one profile that really struck my fancy. After scrolling through I came across a bit that said "I don't do black/african men." I don't know why but this really hit me hard. I was upset and dismissed it at first but then sadness came rolling in. Not gonna lie, my self confidence took a huge nose dive and I've since been apprehensive about this whole thing, especially since I am also a bit fat. Has anyone ever been rejected by an escort? And Am I being too sensitive? lol

[daviemac]

There's loads of threads about this but at the end of the day SPs can see or not see who they like. If they have a NBA policy move on to one that doesn't, the same as I move on from ones that have an age limit.

A couple of recent threads here -

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=349804.0

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=351703.msg3631849#msg3631849

[southcoastpunter]

yes some have (not me personally as i am white) but there are threads on here already about "no blacks" . sadly its not unusual so you shouldn't take it personally (i know that is easy for me to say.

Not sure what part of the country you are, but in the London regional discussions board there is a thread dedicated to list WG's that won't see blacks. unfortunately the list is quite long!

Edit - daviemac beat me to it!

[Doc Holliday]

Welcome to the forum. As with above posts this is well recognised and you are not alone. There are still plenty who will see you. Good luck.

Once again being white, it is something I have personally never experienced. 

[PhillyExPat]

I know they have every right to see or not see who they want, I am not trying to change or challenge that. It's just a bit of a bummer. I would rather be excluded because I'm fat because that's actually something that I can change lol Makes me wonder what kind of negative experiences they might have had in the past to feel this way.

[daviemac]

I know they have every right to see or not see who they want, I am not trying to change or challenge that. It's just a bit of a bummer. I would rather be excluded because I'm fat because that's actually something that I can change lol Makes me wonder what kind of negative experiences they might have had in the past to feel this way.

You should be thankful you are looking at profile that state they won't see blacks, there's reports on here of people getting turned away at the door because of their colour.

Pointless worrying about the why's and wherefore's behind their choices, they will all have different reasons and not all will be due to bad experiences, just move on to one that will see you.

[Colston36]

Welcome to the forum. As with above posts this is well recognised and you are not alone. There are still plenty who will see you. Good luck.

Once again being white, it is something I have personally never experienced. 

These things cut both ways. Some years ago a woman I had seen a few times and helped - paid to get her car sorted out - said she wanted to cook breakfast for me as a thank you.

On the day she decided to go off and get fucked by some black guys.

Oddly enough I was married for many years to an African-American woman - actually raised her children as their father had died.

[RandomGuy99]

Sadly, some SPs are like that and ideally they shouldn't be so closed minded or restricted in provision of their services.  I don't like, but sadly there is nothing I can do to change their opinions. Their bodies. Their rules even if I don't agree with them.

[Jeffe]

Sadly it’s a blanket policy some girls choose to apply so can understand the frustration but try not to take it personally or let it get to you (appreciate it’s easy for me to say being white).

Welcome to the forum and hope you are able to find a good punt. What region and or type of provider/services are you looking for? Hopefully the forum can steer you in the right direction

[Southernbloke]

Has happened to me because of age and colour ( I am white) , so please don’t worry about it. It got me down but as someone else mentioned at least they are up front about it.
A girl I was seeing fairly regularly cut me off the moment I accidentally mentioned that I was turning 50 in a couple of weeks !
I am sure you will find a girl that suits you

[hairdownthere]

A lot of girls have restrictions on who they see, be it guys of certain races/from certain places, too young/too old, too skinny/too fat. to hairy/too baldy etc etc etc.   I would say the vast majority are restricting just because its their preference, or from bad experiences, rather than anything nefarious.

Try rise above it, there will be plenty others who will be glad to see you, and prefer to see you as a black man.

I've only been turned down for being too old (52), thing is, she was mid-40's herself!

[Cheltclient]

A bit different but in recent years I worry about my fucking beard. Had plenty of escorts get snippy about it. Like half way through, oh the beard is itchy, can’t kiss. I think I’ve only seen one profile where someone made it clear they won’t kiss someone with a beard.  So before a booking I’m wondering whether to trim it right back but is bugs me, doing that for an hour of fucking that I’m paying a lot of money for.

Off topic I know … for the OP … try not to take it personally. Easy for me to say. But maybe see the positives … they’re up front enough it … you can find some who has no problem seeing you.

[Hobbit]

I was going through profiles today pretty set and excited about having my first punting experience, until I came across one profile that really struck my fancy. After scrolling through I came across a bit that said "I don't do black/african men." I don't know why but this really hit me hard. I was upset and dismissed it at first but then sadness came rolling in. Not gonna lie, my self confidence took a huge nose dive and I've since been apprehensive about this whole thing, especially since I am also a bit fat. Has anyone ever been rejected by an escort? And Am I being too sensitive? lol

I wouldn't get upset about it. And certainly not take it personally. There could be many reasons why they don't want to see a specific type of person.

My advice would be, just be YOU and be happy being you. Try living a day without identifying as anything and see how you feel. Identity is very overrated and a cause of many issues in this world. It's difficult when we have so much information bombarding us telling us how to be and what to be. But sometimes the answer is just to be.

[Thephoenix]

Maybe it's not too different from civilian life.
Some men of colour prefer to date white women (sometimes exclusively), and vice versa.

[alabama1]

Sadly, some SPs are like that and ideally they shouldn't be so closed minded or restricted in provision of their services.  I don't like, but sadly there is nothing I can do to change their opinions. Their bodies. Their rules even if I don't agree with them.

You shouldn't be judging them. As Davie say's , there will be a multitude of reasons.

[SeekingSteve]

Wouldn't let it get to you OP, for every one that wont see you, there will be 100 that will.
Good luck in your hunt for the first punt 

[signy]

Unfortunately, this is part of the punting life.

I am white and never been rejected on race grounds, but there are plenty of profiles that exclude people of my age, which can be frustrating if I have read through a profile before coming across that information. A couple of times I have been rejected for either "I don't think we will be compatible", whatever that means, or without any reason given. It can be a blow to the self-confidence.

Anyway, I hope the OP finds a good SP for his first punt, and can put this behind him.

[RandomGuy99]

You shouldn't be judging them. As Davie say's , there will be a multitude of reasons.

You're right there can be many reasons for not seeing different groups of people.

[sparkus]

I was going through profiles today pretty set and excited about having my first punting experience, until I came across one profile that really struck my fancy. After scrolling through I came across a bit that said "I don't do black/african men." I don't know why but this really hit me hard. I was upset and dismissed it at first but then sadness came rolling in. Not gonna lie, my self confidence took a huge nose dive and I've since been apprehensive about this whole thing, especially since I am also a bit fat. Has anyone ever been rejected by an escort? And Am I being too sensitive? lol

As others have said, this is a blanket ban many WGs impose for reasons of their own, it's zero personal as their reasons don't relate to any experience of you. 

I think the vast majority of WGs will see overweight clients as we're all the same to them, thin or fat.  It's not a dating agency.

The bigger issue for many is WGs refusing to see men under 35/30/25 etc.

I was initially refused by one (subsequently excellent ) WG as she had assumptions of my origin based on appearance etc. and she'd had some negative experiences of people from that country who mainly worked building sites somewhere she used to work and she'd been told to see even though they were abusive to her.  It took some persuading/evidence but she eventually accepted I wasn't from there and after that the booking went very well.  I can see why if she had persisted in her belief and I had to leave how that could affect someone's confidence/future bookings.

[Payyourwaymate]

OP don't worry about it. What you have just posted is one of the reasons why I created the NBA and other ethnic bar policy WGs thread and stated various reasons in the past when some members were questioning the purpose of the thread.

There's a lot of discussion around NBAs and ethnic bars, more black punter members popping up on this site, yet there has never been a thread to give updates and notices. We can't just leave it as random discussions that some punters may not see; it needs to be documented properly so punters can navigate the punting world easier and have a better punting experience. I think it will also reduce shock value for new ethnic punters seeing an NBA ethnic policy thread and realising quickly there are bar policies in effect. When I first saw policies I was sad, if a thread like this was in place I could have accepted it far quicker and navigated punting far more easily at a quicker rate than having to learn the long way.

my main aim was for there to be a record so people are aware of the environment they are dealing with....Personally, I think new punters that would be potentially impacted by such policies, due to the existence of this thread now will never get caught by surprise again like a deer in the headlights.

....the individual shock value that was ever present of going to a profile, looking with anticipation and suddenly seeing you are not allowed to even call and discuss will slowly vanish I believe. Why? Because it would become easier to be prepared and adjust mindsets in dealing in such an environment seeing a thread with pages on pages of NBAs and other bars. There'll be no need for debates anymore, random shocked angry or sad posts of why does she have an NBA? It will all be centralised here in the form of pure record keeping. It may not happen immediately, but as long as this thread exists and punters see it, there will always be a clear awareness of the environment they are in, instead of randomly finding out by pure chance the reality of punting for their demographic and becoming demoralised with their punting experience.

If you are in London check the thread, (https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=321652.0) it will be of help to you. Good luck OP.

[Belgarion]

I was going through profiles today pretty set and excited about having my first punting experience, until I came across one profile that really struck my fancy. After scrolling through I came across a bit that said "I don't do black/african men." I don't know why but this really hit me hard. I was upset and dismissed it at first but then sadness came rolling in. Not gonna lie, my self confidence took a huge nose dive and I've since been apprehensive about this whole thing, especially since I am also a bit fat. Has anyone ever been rejected by an escort? And Am I being too sensitive? lol

There's nothing to be upset about. There a tons of women happy to see you. Give them your money

[pbrown355]

As many have said, try not to take it personally. Remember you are looking at them making a whole host of judgements about them before deciding whether you will see them. They have the same right about who they will see.
As many have also said, I am white so it's easy for me to say. I am declined on a number of profiles on account of my age, which is something I cannot change. I recommend doing as I do in this and any similar circumstance, and decide that not meeting you is their loss, not yours.
Good luck.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

One i saw a while ago said no over 50's i'm now north fo 70 when I told her my real age she had a hissy fit i asked her and she said that somomne she know had an old guy collapse and die on her and assumed that anyone over 50 was a baad bet. I don't look  my age  a lot of girls have said but there are those  races discrimated against Chinese Asian Indian etc.

There are girls out there who don't have a NBA policy, sure you'll find them hereon!

I did ask one girl why once and she said "well they've all got such great big dicks"!!

[arrow0404]

As mentioned previously on this thread and many others a SP can choose who she does business with.

Like many blokes on here choose not to see Romanians

Move on plenty more fish in the sea.

[Maak]

At least they have saved you the trip. I'm black, I had a black girl turn me down outside her flat when she called me to give me the door number. I had driven 45 mins to see her.

So many beautiful girls out there to cry over one

[Iceman90]

Plenty of girls on fabswingers and other hook up sites looking for “BBC only” and rejecting good looking white guys like me so it works both ways.

[PilotMan]

At least they have saved you the trip. I'm black, I had a black girl turn me down outside her flat when she called me to give me the door number. I had driven 45 mins to see her.

So many beautiful girls out there to cry over one

I think I've only ever punted one black girl. Her profile states she only sees white guys, and she qualified me quite hard.

If an SP has a "type" that she will see, it's not a reflection on you, it's about her.

[KatieEdinburgh]

rejecting good looking white guys like me

Nice and humble clearly, love it  not a dig just find it funny if anyone says that about themselves  ahaha

[akauya]

I was going through profiles today pretty set and excited about having my first punting experience, until I came across one profile that really struck my fancy. After scrolling through I came across a bit that said "I don't do black/african men." I don't know why but this really hit me hard. I was upset and dismissed it at first but then sadness came rolling in. Not gonna lie, my self confidence took a huge nose dive and I've since been apprehensive about this whole thing, especially since I am also a bit fat. Has anyone ever been rejected by an escort? And Am I being too sensitive? lol

A good strategy is to turn the whole thing around and see the NBA as a good thing... you saved your money, you saved the journey, and you avoided the chance of an awful service had they not advertised the fact of their NBA policy.

I know it's easier said than done but I always try to turn a bad situation into a positive one (not always possible but) it helps to deal with disappointment and more importantly keeps you mindset in a positive state. Feeling negatively is never good for our self esteem/confidence, also we tend to suffer more by what we imagine (what ifs, etc.) than what happens in reality. A positive outlook helps (again not always possible but it doesn't hurt trying).
 

[Mr Sinister]

Welcome to the forum, all I will say is don't take it personally we've all been there it's a bit of a shock at first I know. But you also got to look at it as you will take your business elsewhere if that prossie doesn't want it. This is the one thing punters forget with the money in your pocket you have the power and many choices.

So yeah read through threads posted in here and get adjusted to the punting world as a minority.

[Stevelondon]

A SP I fancied seeing had an age policy.  If memory serves me well it was no-one over 60.
I lied about mine and saw her.
Reasonable punt but never returned.

Before anyone says I’m a bastard for lying about my age. She definitely did the same 

[Lou2019]

A bit different but in recent years I worry about my fucking beard. Had plenty of escorts get snippy about it. Like half way through, oh the beard is itchy, can’t kiss. I think I’ve only seen one profile where someone made it clear they won’t kiss someone with a beard.  So before a booking I’m wondering whether to trim it right back but is bugs me, doing that for an hour of fucking that I’m paying a lot of money for.

Off topic I know … for the OP … try not to take it personally. Easy for me to say. But maybe see the positives … they’re up front enough it … you can find some who has no problem seeing you.

I’m sure you mean well with your anecdote, remember you can shave your beard off it’s hardly a comparison to what the OP is experiencing and feels.The discrimination my partner and son experience because of their skin colour on a regular basis feels me with pain.

[mandy18]

I have had quite a few girls refuse to see me, as I am deaf.

[Lou2019]

I have had quite a few girls refuse to see me, as I am deaf.

Gosh really I am sorry I can’t understand why???

[Fuzzyduck]

A good strategy is to turn the whole thing around and see the NBA as a good thing... you saved your money, you saved the journey, and you avoided the chance of an awful service had they not advertised the fact of their NBA policy.

I know it's easier said than done but I always try to turn a bad situation into a positive one (not always possible but) it helps to deal with disappointment and more importantly keeps you mindset in a positive state. Feeling negatively is never good for our self esteem/confidence, also we tend to suffer more by what we imagine (what ifs, etc.) than what happens in reality. A positive outlook helps (again not always possible but it doesn't hurt trying).

+1
Much better to know upfront than to find out during the meet that a SP has a real problem with any characteristic be it age, skin colour, ethnicity, weight or facial hair. Imagine if she didn't disclose it and went through the motions to make money. yet subtly or visibly rejected you face to face.

[Plan R]

NBA is no doubt an unwelcome sight and a problem logistically as it removes those SPs from your list.. however it must (?) come with some prestige as it may mean 
she assumes you're hung like a horse and have the stamina and drive to bash away at the holy of holies for 55min of the hour
 

[WASA38]

About a third of AW providers do not include  'Disabled Clients' in their 'Enjoys' list so presumably exclude  any punter unfortunate enough to be so afflicted  Relatively few exclude NBA or those of advanced years. Even someone aged, non-white and disabled  would statistically be acceptable to the majority of SPs.

I would guess  that SPs whose lists are more inclusive tend to have more agreeable dispositions.

[Doc Holliday]

I have had quite a few girls refuse to see me, as I am deaf.

Wow.

May I ask if the knew this in advance of the booking and declined or when you arrived?

[MissWolf]

I have had quite a few girls refuse to see me, as I am deaf.

Wow I'm truly shocked, unless they think they won't be able to communicate if there is an issue but honestly that's mad.

I'm really sorry you've experienced this 

[whiskyfan]

I was going through profiles today pretty set and excited about having my first punting experience, until I came across one profile that really struck my fancy. After scrolling through I came across a bit that said "I don't do black/african men." I don't know why but this really hit me hard. I was upset and dismissed it at first but then sadness came rolling in. Not gonna lie, my self confidence took a huge nose dive and I've since been apprehensive about this whole thing, especially since I am also a bit fat. Has anyone ever been rejected by an escort? And Am I being too sensitive? lol

Look on it this way, you've dodged a bullet with someone who would, at best, have probably given you a sub par service. Plenty of good ones out there who don't discriminate.

[Stevelondon]

I’ve had one or two turn me away on arrival. Simply because I’m too stunningly good looking.
Sigh.

[Melnw6969]

I was going through profiles today pretty set and excited about having my first punting experience, until I came across one profile that really struck my fancy. After scrolling through I came across a bit that said "I don't do black/african men." I don't know why but this really hit me hard. I was upset and dismissed it at first but then sadness came rolling in. Not gonna lie, my self confidence took a huge nose dive and I've since been apprehensive about this whole thing, especially since I am also a bit fat. Has anyone ever been rejected by an escort? And Am I being too sensitive? lol

I understand as I’m mixed race.

Even when I contact SPs who don’t state a preference I still declare that I’m mixed race out of courtesy.

I’m born British, work hard, pay my taxes and love my country - it is what it is… I don’t take it personally.

[Strawberry]

Wow I'm truly shocked, unless they think they won't be able to communicate if there is an issue but honestly that's mad.

I'm really sorry you've experienced this 

I do remember at hearing a story about an SP who had a horrendous experience with a man who was rough, aggressive, and locked herself in the bathroom to protect herself whilst she phoned either police or a taxi to help. His deafness meant she could not negotiate with him when things started to go wrong. She wouldn't accept another deaf client. Also some make contact saying they are deaf, go on to be excessively text-happy, and quite explicit (sexting territory). It's really not fair. I have clients who use text-speech-typing devices to communicate, I was apprehensive how this would work but so far has been fine. Like anything depends on the individual.

[houseboot]

A bit different but in recent years I worry about my fucking beard. Had plenty of escorts get snippy about it. Like half way through, oh the beard is itchy, can’t kiss. I think I’ve only seen one profile where someone made it clear they won’t kiss someone with a beard. 


So before a booking I’m wondering whether to trim it right back but is bugs me, doing that for an hour of fucking that I’m paying a lot of money for.


Off topic I know … for the OP … try not to take it personally. Easy for me to say. But maybe see the positives … they’re up front enough it … you can find some who has no problem seeing you.

Doh!

A recently trimmed beard is more itchy.

[Cheltclient]

Doh!

A recently trimmed beard is more itchy.

I agree. But oddly, had more issues when it’s thicker!

[hendrix]

As others have said, there are plenty who will happily see you, so try not to take it personally.

As long as it's clearly stated on their profiles, I don't mind, as it helps me blacklist them.

[jackthelad]

Early in my punting days I was turned away at the door once. I’m ethnically East Asian. Put me off for a long while but there’s loads of girls out there. I usually ask now just so it doesn’t happen again. Been turned down once more since but lucky I asked before hand.

[mrwhite]

Don't take it personally - it isn't necessarily racism. As others have said it could be down to previous bad experience.

I've seen profiles of black girls that say no black men (perhaps because in some areas the black community is much smaller so the chances of knowing the punter are increased)

I've seen Polish girls who state no Poles, or Romanians that say no Romanian men (probably for similar reasons)

I've never been knocked away for my colour, but have been for my age (and not even being 50 I don't think I am that old)

Just find someone else and have a great time.

[midspunter]

Discrimination is tough, no question, but hopefully console yourself with the thought that you wouldn't want to do it with a racist escort anyway...

[jseop109]

I guess everyone has a right to accept or reject a sexual partner for any or no reason. And I don't see how that is any different if the sex is being paid for.

Having said that, I would hope that if a WG wanted to exclude any particular category of punter, whether race, age, or whatever, she would state it on her profile. And yes, like a previous poster, I have seen lots of black WGs saying no blacks, Polish saying no Poles etc, so it's not necessarily prejudice, rather "it's a small world".

I was once turned away because of age. The WG said she had an age limit of 45. This seriously pissed me off as there was nothing about that on her profile and I had a wasted journey and no plan B.

Of course it may just have been because she didn't like the look of me. I don't think it was that. Although I'm getting on a bit I think I scrub up quite well, though I say so myself, and she has since added the age limit to her profile. Also I have never had that problem before or since.