Waning sexual interest in your legitimate partner

[faquin1]

I seem to hear of a lot of punters on here using SP's due to the lack of sex provided by their legitimate partners.

I can't say I've heard here of punters using SP's due to their own lack of interest in having sex with their legitimate partners.

For me, it's the latter. It happened with my ex-wife, then now with my current long term girlfriend. In each case, I've tried to stay as true to the physical form of the person I was at the start of the relationship or better. The partner slowly becomes a hag. And my sexual interest dissolves with it and I start to fap and punt instead.

I've tried no fap to see if it brings back the desire in the partner. But alas, just increases my urge to punt more.

Off topic. The reason I've only left one review to date is because I've recently got a side chick instead.

[Billy no mates]

There’s plenty of advice and guidance around the net about how to spice up ones own love life.

I have found in all honesty it’s got better over the years, probably due to us being confident in sharing our desires with each other.

[JontyR]

I seem to hear of a lot of punters on here using SP's due to the lack of sex provided by their legitimate partners.

I can't say I've heard here of punters using SP's due to their own lack of interest in having sex with their legitimate partners.

For me, it's the latter. It happened with my ex-wife, then now with my current long term girlfriend. In each case, I've tried to stay as true to the physical form of the person I was at the start of the relationship or better. The partner slowly becomes a hag. And my sexual interest dissolves with it and I start to fap and punt instead.

I've tried no fap to see if it brings back the desire in the partner. But alas, just increases my urge to punt more.

Off topic. The reason I've only left one review to date is because I've recently got a side chick instead.

Have you suggested counselling or anything?

I can appreciate how you feel.  Your story reminded me of a situation where my partner was just vile in her behaviour. And in this circumstance why would you want to be intimate with someone who has been so nasty?

[willie loman]

coolidge factor.

[B4bcock]

coolidge factor.

Yep.

[Thephoenix]

There’s plenty of advice and guidance around the net about how to spice up ones own love life.

I have found in all honesty it’s got better over the years, probably due to us being confident in sharing our desires with each other.

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[Bonker]

Is this real or are you faking one?

[Watts.E.Dunn]

The 'Coolidge effect', defined as a decline in the propensity of a male to copulate repeatedly with the same female combined with a heightened sexual interest in novel females (Wilson et al. 1963; Dewsbury 1981), can be a mechanism to distribute sperm more evenly.

The ability to recognize individuals is an important aspect of social interactions, but it can also be useful to avoid repeated matings with the same individual. The Coolidge effect is the progressive decline in a male's propensity to mate with the same female combined with a heightened sexual interest in new females. Although males that recognize previous partners and show a preference for novel females should have a selective advantage as they can distribute sperm evenly among the females they encounter, there are few invertebrate examples of the Coolidge effect. Here we present evidence for this effect in the burying beetle Nicrophorus vespilloides and examine the mechanism underlying the discrimination between familiar and novel mates. Burying beetles feed and reproduce on vertebrate carcasses, where they regularly encounter conspecifics. Males showed greater sexual interest in novel females (virgin or mated) than in females they had inseminated before. The application of identical cuticular extracts allowed us to experimentally create females with similar odours, and male responses to such females demonstrated that they use female cuticular patterns for discrimination. The chemical analysis of the cuticular profile revealed greater inter-individual variation in female than in male cuticular patterns, which might be due to greater selection on females to signal their individual identity.


Although the cost of mating to males has long been regarded as negligible, recent evidence shows that mating and sperm production may generate non-trivial costs

Well now tell us summatt we don't know!!!

[s0whatsnew?]

The 'Coolidge effect', defined as a decline in the propensity of a male to copulate repeatedly with the same female combined with a heightened sexual interest in novel females (Wilson et al. 1963; Dewsbury 1981), can be a mechanism to distribute sperm more evenly.

The ability to recognize individuals is an important aspect of social interactions, but it can also be useful to avoid repeated matings with the same individual. The Coolidge effect is the progressive decline in a male's propensity to mate with the same female combined with a heightened sexual interest in new females. Although males that recognize previous partners and show a preference for novel females should have a selective advantage as they can distribute sperm evenly among the females they encounter, there are few invertebrate examples of the Coolidge effect. Here we present evidence for this effect in the burying beetle Nicrophorus vespilloides and examine the mechanism underlying the discrimination between familiar and novel mates. Burying beetles feed and reproduce on vertebrate carcasses, where they regularly encounter conspecifics. Males showed greater sexual interest in novel females (virgin or mated) than in females they had inseminated before. The application of identical cuticular extracts allowed us to experimentally create females with similar odours, and male responses to such females demonstrated that they use female cuticular patterns for discrimination. The chemical analysis of the cuticular profile revealed greater inter-individual variation in female than in male cuticular patterns, which might be due to greater selection on females to signal their individual identity.


Although the cost of mating to males has long been regarded as negligible, recent evidence shows that mating and sperm production may generate non-trivial costs

Well now tell us summatt we don't know!!!

Oh great.   I've been called a fair few things over the years but never been compared to a beetle.   

[Cheshuk]

The 'Coolidge effect', defined as a decline in the propensity of a male to copulate repeatedly with the same female combined with a heightened sexual interest in novel females (Wilson et al. 1963; Dewsbury 1981), can be a mechanism to distribute sperm more evenly.

The ability to recognize individuals is an important aspect of social interactions, but it can also be useful to avoid repeated matings with the same individual. The Coolidge effect is the progressive decline in a male's propensity to mate with the same female combined with a heightened sexual interest in new females. Although males that recognize previous partners and show a preference for novel females should have a selective advantage as they can distribute sperm evenly among the females they encounter, there are few invertebrate examples of the Coolidge effect. Here we present evidence for this effect in the burying beetle Nicrophorus vespilloides and examine the mechanism underlying the discrimination between familiar and novel mates. Burying beetles feed and reproduce on vertebrate carcasses, where they regularly encounter conspecifics. Males showed greater sexual interest in novel females (virgin or mated) than in females they had inseminated before. The application of identical cuticular extracts allowed us to experimentally create females with similar odours, and male responses to such females demonstrated that they use female cuticular patterns for discrimination. The chemical analysis of the cuticular profile revealed greater inter-individual variation in female than in male cuticular patterns, which might be due to greater selection on females to signal their individual identity.


Although the cost of mating to males has long been regarded as negligible, recent evidence shows that mating and sperm production may generate non-trivial costs

Well now tell us summatt we don't know!!!

Great post that is very much me, but doesn't seem to be true of all men or at least many don't act on it. Although I can be online and see a girl i've shagged before and pass over her profile so may not be entirely smell based for humans or the profile triggers some memory of the smell.

Either way explains a lot 

[Hornydevil666]

I'm kind of in a similar situation where I've been with my wife for a ever but she can( like lots of women) use sex as a weapon and "reward" me when I do something she likes and I deserve a shag as I've painted the living room etc,
I've actually heard her say, "you've worked hard today so I'll give you sex tonight".
I'm sick of trying to cuddle up to her and slip the hand or start kissing her neck in bed to just get shot down like the Luftwaffe that I've stopped trying now as what's the point, I think 9 out of 10 times resulted in failure.
I think that's why thousands of guys punt, it's easier and  less effort is needed to get the end result.

[Dipper]

I'm kind of in a similar situation where I've been with my wife for a ever but she can( like lots of women) use sex as a weapon and "reward" me when I do something she likes and I deserve a shag as I've painted the living room etc,
I've actually heard her say, "you've worked hard today so I'll give you sex tonight".
I'm sick of trying to cuddle up to her and slip the hand or start kissing her neck in bed to just get shot down like the Luftwaffe that I've stopped trying now as what's the point, I think 9 out of 10 times resulted in failure.
I think that's why thousands of guys punt, it's easier and  less effort is needed to get the end result.

Having to do DIY in exchange for sex seems brutal to me. 

I’d rather go without. 

[Thephoenix]

I don't know!.....I'd still give her one!


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[signy]

Having to do DIY in exchange for sex seems brutal to me. 

The "reward for good behaviour" strategy is recognised by the CPS as part of coercive control, along with other things. Over 1000 men (and a few women) have been convicted of the offence since the law was introduced in 2015. Obviously, one thing on its own is not enough, but the whole problem is that the controller acts in a number of small ways that add up to something unacceptable and chargeable. The point being, that this is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

[Jonestown]

I can't say I've heard here of punters using SP's due to their own lack of interest in having sex with their legitimate partners.

I think there is also a case whereby punting with a variety of women highlights & magnifies any shortcomings a legitimate partner may have, increasing the tendency to withdraw from the physical side of the relationship, and making any subsequent reconciliation that much harder.

[PaulRuff]

I think there is also a case whereby punting with a variety of women highlights & magnifies any shortcomings a legitimate partner may have, increasing the tendency to withdraw from the physical side of the relationship, and making any subsequent reconciliation that much harder.

Can definitely agree with that.

[Bonker]

I have to give my wife a ring when I want sex.

 
"Hello dear, I'm going to be late home tonight".
Then I go have a point.

[Thephoenix]

I have to give my wife a ring when I want sex.

 
"Hello dear, I'm going to be late home tonight".
Then I go have a point.

A point?.....Punt?/Pint?

That's quite a coincidence!
That's about the same time she rings me.

[Dipper]

The "reward for good behaviour" strategy is recognised by the CPS as part of coercive control, along with other things. Over 1000 men (and a few women) have been convicted of the offence since the law was introduced in 2015. Obviously, one thing on its own is not enough, but the whole problem is that the controller acts in a number of small ways that add up to something unacceptable and chargeable. The point being, that this is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

Interesting, and very true.

[willie loman]

i offered a married friend a viagra, he replied he had no one to use it on, kind of sums up married life for many.

[Bonker]

A point?.....Punt?/Pint?

That's quite a coincidence!
That's about the same time she rings me.

Argh, it's me brogue.

Well ok it's my typing.

[Blackpool Rock]

Having to do DIY in exchange for sex seems brutal to me. 

I’d rather go without. 

Or have a punt and give the girl a facial, as Micky Flanagan joked the girl had a face like a plasterers radio 

[fredhiggins]

Having to do DIY in exchange for sex seems brutal to me. 

I’d rather go without. 

[Thephoenix]

Having to do DIY in exchange for sex seems brutal to me. 

I’d rather go without. 

I wonder if she has a price list?

Replacing a light bulb.....HJ,
Tap washer.....OW,
Curtain rail...OWO,
Unblock drain....CIM,
Re-tile bathroom....FS,
New kitchen...Anal.
 

[versace]

I wonder if she has a price list?

Replacing a light bulb.....HJ,
Tap washer.....OW,
Curtain rail...OWO,
Unblock drain....CIM,
Re-tile bathroom....FS,
New kitchen...Anal.
 

That’s one very expensive kitchen

[Munter84]

I wonder if she has a price list?

Replacing a light bulb.....HJ,
Tap washer.....OW,
Curtain rail...OWO,
Unblock drain....CIM,
Re-tile bathroom....FS,
New kitchen...Anal.
 

Depressingly, "choreplay" is an actual term for the transactional work/sex that is exchanged in many relationships.

[faquin1]

Seems I'm not alone. For me, the withdrawal from legit partners has not been due to punting. I've always stopped punting in a new relationship until i get the "cooledge effect". A term I'd not heard of before. Not wanting to shag my legit partner then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

As for choreplay or any kind of reward sex, that would accelerate my turn off. 

[Mr Sinister]

The fact is no one woman can satisfy a man sexually, unless she is doing her utmost best to meet his needs on a consistent basis. That's why once the who Coolidge effect takes hold and a man enters a sleepwalking state he'll eventually stray one way or another. It's in our DNA to go out and mate with as many women as possible.

[Thephoenix]

Isn't the answer to this problem to start a separate swap section, so that we can avoid this situation developing.
Ms Phoenix has been rather out of practice for the last 30 years, but maybe some young blade with a set of jump leads could start her up again.
I'll start things off with a recent photo.


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[Bonker]

Not if she's going to turn my bollocks into a perfume dispenser!

[Blackpool Rock]

Isn't the answer to this problem to start a separate swap section, so that we can avoid this situation developing.
Ms Phoenix has been rather out of practice for the last 30 years, but maybe some young blade with a set of jump leads could start her up again.
I'll start things off with a recent photo.


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HP is likely to be the only taker 

[Knny]

I've actually heard her say, "you've worked hard today so I'll give you sex tonight".

Turn this around.  Ignore her, women thrive on attention.  Then, after any shag, say, "you've been good, I'll listen to your BS more".

[houseboot]

I seem to hear of a lot of punters on here using SP's due to the lack of sex provided by their legitimate partners.

I can't say I've heard here of punters using SP's due to their own lack of interest in having sex with their legitimate partners.

For me, it's the latter.

I claim my prize.

Your name is Robbie and you prefer eating tangerines 

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[Punting2022]

called the honeymoon period.
Happens to all couples from what i have heard. Kids make the problem worse. All my married friends are the same. But they resort to wanking not seeing prossies.

Its up to the couple to sort id say. If not then see where the appeal is too be honest. Tinder/Bumble is too much hard work nowadays. If girls have no morals nowadays then punt. 

[alabama1]

called the honeymoon period.
Happens to all couples from what i have heard. Kids make the problem worse. All my married friends are the same. But they resort to wanking not seeing prossies.

Its up to the couple to sort id say. If not then see where the appeal is too be honest. Tinder/Bumble is too much hard work nowadays. If girls have no morals nowadays then punt.

It's sex drive they are lacking, not morals ! (from what i have heard).

[DDMC30]

Such a pity that infidelity has been elected to be the most heinous relationship crime.
Violence, theft, losing a fortune gambling, being permaskint, a drunk, lazy, feckless, a slob, a smoker, obese, going to prison - all forgivable.
Seems to me women are depriving themselves of a men they might be happy with, if they were willing to turn a blind eye to the occasional bit on the side.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Well ever look at Mumsnet?, an affiar is forgivable but seeing an escort then thats it! its all over, solictor in the morning first thing!

And the obligatory STI check!

[faquin1]

I claim my prize.

Your name is Robbie and you prefer eating tangerines 

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Good article!