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External Link/Members OnlyI was really kicking myself after this one. For my on-the-road relaxation during a long drive north it had been a toss-up between Petiite Nikki in Peterborough and the legendary Linzie Mae in Cambridge, who was also available. I decided to go for a one-hour £100 session with Nikki, more’s the pity.
I chose Nikki because I’d seen the brilliant Linzie once before and I always prefer a new girl. Also because Nikki was only two minutes from the motorway, because a report here and lots of AW reviews were very encouraging. And because her ultra-slim petite body shape is exactly what turns me on.
So what went wrong?
Not the sex… she was very, very horny when she got down to it and even came twice, gushing all over me. She seems to do everything on her list and I did enjoy the sessions of 69 and reverse cowgirl that made up about 30 minutes of the 1hr 15mins I was there.
Not the premises. Good area, parking right outside, neat and comfortable ground-floor flat.
No, this is what turned me off:
1) She says she’s 48 and but in person appears to be at least mid-50s. Possibly more. That’s par for the course with older working girls and not a deal-breaker for me (I’m 58). But for the first five minutes after we got naked she was overcome by a coughing fit that rattled so much it planted the thought in my mind that she was just a poorly old lady.
2) I was mentally battered into submission by her endless chatter. She just kept talking and talking, round and round in circles and repeating herself, saying “Yes… yes… yes” to everything I said (not in a Meg Ryan When Harry Met Sally way; in a madly irritating old woman way) and going on and tediously on about her vegetarianism and animal rights activism. She’s a mad cat lady in her private life.
I couldn't be bothered to tell her that I am a committed carnivore totally in favour of animal testing. I don’t mind arguing my case with intelligent and articulate people but she didn’t strike me as either. And anyway, that’s not what I was there for. Her character was such that if we’d been in the same group at the pub or a party I’d have made an excuse to get away after two minutes.
Because I’m such a wuss I went along with all of this verbal nonsense. Some guys would have told her to shut the fuck up and get on with the sex but that’s really not me and it would have killed the moment in my head.
It was the kind of encounter that made me glance at my £100 in cash sitting on the side as I left and think I’d really rather have rewound the last hour and kept the money. Or, better still, I wish I’d gone to see Linzie Mae.