For those have punted a lot over the years, what are you best and worst punts of all time? I'd love to hear your stories.
As a 30-something guy who's probably knocked out about 30 different punts over the years, often prioritising location, convenience and price, over ratings and credibility, I've had my fair share of disasters and disappointments. I've also encountered a few gems along the way.
Here's my list of stand outs - starting with the worse, the strangest and lastly, the best punts of all time.
Worst punts -
1) The walk out - In my early naive days of punting, I booked a hot looking Romanian for a 15 minute quicky for £40 - full service and OWO was agreed via text, so I set off on my way. Upon arriving, the door was answered by a rough young looking sort, no older than 20, with a crooked set of teeth, wearing pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt, with no make up and zero effort. This clearly wasn't the girl in the picture and I'd just experienced the classic 'bait and switch' trick for the first time. Half disgusted, but still semi-reluctant to walk, I dubiously handed over the cash, to a pleased smile from the girl, who proudly informed me that her '15 minute BJ's' were the 'best' in town. In disbelief, I reminded her that we'd just agreed to full service over text, to which she claimed to know nothing about, quickly realising that I had actually been conversing with somebody else. She replied with 'full service is £60 darling' - I politely declined and demanded my money back so that I cloud leave. She was reluctant and said that the 'BJ quicky' was still available for £40 and asked if I was sure I didn't want it. I confirmed that I was more than sure that I didn't want it and assertively demanded my money back for the second time, to which she seemed hesitant, so I snatched it out of her hand instead and got the hell out. Score = n/a
2) The filthy Philippine - I once googled for escorts in my hometown, as AW seemed to have dried up. I found an independent ad, from an attractive looking 30 something from the Philippines, which is a rarity in this area, so I decided to go for it. She described the location as being at the back of the town centre, near to the local Starbucks.
After arriving I called for directions and was told to locate a block of flats, as she attempted to direct me on the phone. I spent the next 15 minutes being led on a wild goose chase, as her directions were making no sense at all. In the end, she offered to come and meet me at Starbucks, which I wasn't overly comfortable with, but was still up for the punt, so described my looks and clothing and agreed to meet. I sat, awkwardly waiting for her to arrive, in the outside seating area and eventually spotted a chubby looking lady, in her 40's, wearing eccentric clothing walking towards me, with a phone to her ear, as mine began to ring. It was her and I'd been stung by the old bait and switch, again. Oh well. She was so odd looking that it was certainly something different. We exchanged hello's and awkwardly walked together to her flat, which involved numerous random turns and took about 5 minutes, with her talking gibberish the whole way. I was beginning to regret this decision.
Upon on arrival, it was clearly a mini-brothel and I could hear other people in the house. She took me to her room and asked me to get comfy. I sat down and pulled out my wallet, which contained far more than the £60 fee and her eyes lit up. She instantly asked me if I wanted 'double fun' with her friend too, for more money. I said no thanks. She then offered their services back to back. to which I politely declined again. I handed over the £60 and she asked me to undress and lay down. The sheets felt damp, which was no doubt sweat from a previous client. She then began to undress and as she took her top off, I could see scars across her back and she was also wearing long striped socks, with bright colours, which she decided to keep on. She began to massage me and I was semi repulsed by this point and not enjoying it at all. She then whispered in my ear and said 'now let mama look after you' and proceeded to passionately suck the life out of my cock. I have to admit, the BJ was actually pretty decent, but damn - she was extremely ugly.
The BJ was furious and lasted for sometime and I was tempted to just let myself unload and then walk, but for some reason, I decided to request sex and go through with the full service. I closed my eyes, imagined it was somebody else and gave her five minutes worth of savage pump action and then unleashed my load inside her.
Before I'd even left I felt dirty and ashamed. She then decided to be an opportunist and proposed 'more sex for more money?' to which I declined and left swiftly. A harrowing experience, that put me off punting for some time. Score = 2/10
3) The Indian chav - I'd been out for a friends leaving party and had spent the day hungover and was to due start an 11 hour night shift at 8pm. Shortly before, I decided to scan through AW for a quick pump, to liven me up before work. I found an Indian lady, with a great body, but blurred face shots, offering £80 for 30 minutes. I sent an ambitious text asking for 30 minutes for £60, to which she surprisingly agreed.
She was working in a local hotel and I arrived promptly and ready for some action. She looked alright, but as soon she spoke, the attraction level plummeted. She was common, loud and annoying and instantly started talking a shed load of bollocks about her life. I indulged her for about 5 minutes, before hinting that I was ready to get started as I had work soon. She asked if I'd showered already, which I found semi-offensive, as I take much pride in my appearance, clean shaven and well groomed at all times. Upon hearing that I had showered, she finally agreed to get going. She continued to talk whilst giving me oral and also offered to let me finger her, on the condition that I used an anti-bacteria liquid wash on my hands first, openly admitting to being a tad OCD about health. I said I'm not fussed about fingering and urged her to crack on.
All excitement and attraction had been killed by this point and i just wanted my moneys worth and said I was ready for intercourse, rather than oral. She agreed and finally removed her clothes. Her figure was as a good as the pictures, so I got down to business and chose to go on top.
She began to let out over the top grunts, as the pounding began, but the whole thing was just mechanical, with no touching or passion. I rushed to finish and when the deed was done, I swiftly began to get dressed, as she attempted to engage me in yet more mindless chatter. This time, she began to ask me personal questions about my job and where I work, to which I said I didn't want to say. She then argued that she's not the police or some sort of psycho and that I didn't need to cover up where I work....This was getting awkward. I made up a place and then tried to leave. She continued to talk at me, as I edged closer and closer to the door. I assertively said that I needed to go and she replied with 'fine, bye then'. I left, in regret, after spending more of my hard earned cash on yet another shitty punt, wondering why I pay money to stick my cock inside of these kind of morons. Score = 1.5/10
Comical/strange punts -
!) The Romanian psycho - I fancied a quick bit of action, after a gym session on a Saturday afternoon. All that seemed to be available was a handful of Romanians, as many WG's seem to go off the radar during the weekends. I picked the one that looked the most legit, with lots of selfies and a disclaimer that promised 'girl in pic'.
Communication was fine and I arrived with no issues - it was indeed the 'girl in pic' and she was quite hot - happy days! However, this wasn't going to be the type of punt I was used to...
After initial greetings and handing over the cash, I went to sit on to the bed, to which she shouted 'No, I want you standing up' - she then proceeded to push me up against the mirrored wardrobe door, pulled down the zipper on my jeans and began to kneel down and give me oral without, which was a nice gesture, in theory, but made odd by the fact that she forced me into an awkward position, which allowed her to see her own reflection, whilst giving me head, in the mirror. She was also using her teeth a bit too much for my liking and wouldn't let me move.
As the head continued, I attempted to touch her face and she stopped and shouted at me, telling me not to, as it will ruin her make up. She ordered no hair touching either.
She then pushed me on to the bed, aggressively, seeming somewhat convinced that I was enjoying this procedure and would not allow me to take my own clothes off, claiming that she'll do it for me, when she's ready. She then ripped my jeans fully off and continued with more manic oral, with a rather demonic look in her eyes. She was a pretty girl, but clearly off key.
She continued to keep eye locking me and wouldn't break contact. This was getting a bit weird now.
The ordeal continued and she eventually claimed that she was ready for intercourse. She laid on her back, opened her legs and ordered me on top, but also sternly reminded me not to touch her face or hair. I didn't even attempt to ask if the previously agreed 'french kissing' was on the cards, nor did I particularly want to at this point. I was actually pretty annoyed, as I didn't sign up for this submissive/dominant style of play and much prefer a more gentle and intimate experience.
With the no touching ground rules in place and based on her previous aggression, I decided the only option left was to absolutely the pound the fuck out of her, giving it to her hard and fast, which she appeared to enjoy. I became semi rough with the pump and fucked her like a rag doll, with a slight look of resentment in my eyes as I did it, as she began to climax and moan, remaining eye locked with me. I shot my load, instantly got up and put my clothes back on, with minimal words to say afterwards. She asked if I enjoyed it and I honestly didn't know the answer. I said my goodbyes and left. A very odd experience and too many rules, with an utter control freak bitch. Score = 5/10
2) The human barbie doll - I came across a profile of a Hungarian lady in her late 20's, who looked like utter filth. Bleached blonde hair, tiny waist, massive tits, fake pumped up lips and dressed up to the nines in her pics. The fake glamour girl look is not usually my type of thing, but at a reduced rate of £60 for half an hour (for one day only), compared to the £100 she claimed to usually charge, I decided to give it a go for novelty, as I'd never slept with a 'plastic' looking type of girl before.
Communication was fine and I arrived to her flat. i was half heatedly greeted, with a fake smile, by a woman who looked exhausted and began to immediately dictate the ground rules for the punt, including no touching of the (fake) breasts, as they'd just been 'redone' and were still hurting and also advising me to be gentle with the intercourse, as she'd already had a 'busy' day and was feeling the strain down below. I should have walked by this point, but foolishly decided to continue, as I'd been rock hard all afternoon and needed to unleash.
The standard and awkward undress procedure began and she got straight down to work with the oral. She was far from gentle and appeared to be trying to rush through it, to try and make me cum early. Cheeky tactics.
As no touching or intimacy was involved, I quickly became bored and decided to see what else I could get away with. I veered my hands towards her private area and began to gently rub, but as soon as I got near her clit, she slapped my arm away and shouted 'No fingers', before resuming with her crappy BJ.
Sometime later, she reluctantly asked if I was ready for intercourse and requested me to go on top. For the first couple of minutes, the sex was actually alright, as she least pretended to be turned on, with intense moaning and allowed me to kiss her neck and become intimate, but then it all went downhill...
She quickly began to complain that she was hurting down below and asked me to slow down. I politely agreed to be more gentle, but after another minute or two, she claimed that we'd need to stop as it was too painful and that I was too big for her. As a solid 6.5 inch, I found that hard to believe, but agreed to stop out of courtesy. I asked her what she wanted to do for the rest of the booking instead then, to which she suggested that I finish myself off and said I could cum on her body, if I must, as long as I avoided messing up the sheets, or her face. Charming.
I spent the next 5 minutes tossing myself off, whilst she laid on the bed, watching me, flicking her own bean and pleasuring herself, as a mechanical formality. Ejaculation was clearly not going to happen, on my part, so i asked if there was anything else that she's up for doing instead, to which she responded with 'not really, I'm too tired'. I suggested reverse oral, in the 69 position to which she declined, so then asked if she was willing for one last bit of intercourse, so that I could least blow my load, which was also declined, as expected. She then complained that I was being irritating and muttered 'there's always one that has to ruin my day' to which I responded that the service had been rubbish, due to her own attitude and refusal for any fun.
We got into a petty argument, about the service, but I quickly noticed that she be appeared to be somewhat amused at my sarcasm and boldness. To wind her up further, I suggested that we go out on a date and become an official couple, to which she sighed and shook her head in dismay. Sensing that I was trying to get a rise out of her, she irritably looked at her watch and reminded me that there was only 5 minutes left, so I'd better hurry up and cum before times up. I reminded her that tossing myself off was doing nothing for me and asked her to think of something else to do, to which she sighed again and said 'like what?'. I randomly asked her if she liked to have her toes sucked, as a joke, but was surprised to hear her respond, with 'yes, I do actually'. Out of sheer curiosity and only being half serious, I proposed that I'd suck her toes and cum on her feet to finish off. She strangely accepted, so I thought 'fuck it, why not' and got to work, as she proceeded to pleasure herself at the same time. After a few minutes of this, I realised that she was actually genuinely turned on, for the first time during the booking, so was finally able to finish myself off and shoot my load over her feet, as planned.
Finally satisfied, I began to get dressed. Before I left, she muttered one last complaint, about now having to wash the bed sheets because of the mess I'd made, to which I shrugged off and jokingly said 'same time tomorrow?' to which she sneered and said 'Goodbye'.
A very bizarre punt, where I couldn't work out if the girl was genuinely annoyed, or secretly enjoying the banter. Either way, it was a shit service on her part, but made mildly enjoyable by the humour of it all and the bizarre finish. Score = 5.5/10
