After a heavy few weeks at work, including a lot of overtime, I had some time off booked and was in dire need of relief last week. But I ended up walking on two prospective punts in Croydon. Here are the details:
External Link/Members OnlyThis mob have been advertising for ages. They used to run a gaff in Addiscombe, near The Builder's Arms pub. They seem to have moved to Purley CR8. Initial comms by phone and text weren't bad. But it's clear whoever you're talking with or texting to is not the brass in question or even on the same premises as the brass. Ended up being sent to a rather rundown looking house on the main road overlooking Kenley/Purley. The gaff is up on a small hill, so felt very visible walking up the steps, which go on forever. Was met at the front door by a comically seedy looking Chinese man who could not speak English and communicated via translator on his smartphone. Was told to "wait please" in a grubby little sitting room. Overhead I could noises as if a bed was being built from scratch or furniture moved around. After 5 mins, I'd had enough. I walked out into the hall where the man and the "girl" in question started shouting at each other in Mandarin. I glimpsed the "girl" at the top of the stairs: dumpy, pug-faced Chinese, squat and clearly overweight in a baby doll negligee. Chinaman started pleading with me "no go", but I insisted he unlocked the front door and I fucked off. Went home and had a wank.
A day later....
External Link/Members OnlyAfter the previous day's aborted Chinese meal, I decided to go European. Excellent comms: woman I spoke to spoke impeccable English, was chatty and flirty and repeated the same in texts. Unfortunately, again, this was an offsite receptionist. Despite her assurances that the girl I would be seeing "was the brunette" in the photos, it wasn't. Arrived at the flat, near the site of the old Surrey St market in Central Croydon, and was let in by a girl that was clearly not "the brunette" in the photos. Door was opened by a sullen EE, mid twenties, pasty faced, unsmiling, greasy hair scraped back into a ponytail and wearing a hoodie and dirty jeans. When she opened her mouth to speak, I could see one of her front teeth was missing. Once again, I made my excuses and walked. Returned home for the second grudge wank of the week.
Time to give up this hobby?
