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Author Topic: Diarrhoea on a Punt  (Read 3551 times)

FasterHarder

  • Guest
Recently was out with a client at lunch and after popping back into the office for an hour I decided to treat myself and headed for a punt. On way to the flat I could feel a few tummy rumblings but didn't think too much of it but on arrival I only had one thing on my mind and it wasn't pussy.

In hindsight sensible thing would have been to leave punt for another day but after a few hours of daydreaming about getting balls deep I decided to proceed. Anyway into the bathroom, supposedly for a shower and unloaded - lunch, last nights dinner, you name it. Looked for toilet paper and not much left. Used it all and got in shower to clean up. Out of shower and with rumblings continuing sat down for round two. This time even worse than before - like I was pissing shit. No toilet paper though so what to do? Grabbed available towel and cleaned up as best I could before round three came on. By now whore was knocking on door telling me to hurry up but with first towel in a state I had no choice but use second towel to clean up once again. Very quickly showered my asshole and was now ready for action but I had decide what to do with towels.

With whore standing outside the bathroom door, I decided best thing for it was to put first towel which was absolutely layered in shit in the bathtub and then turn second towel which was only covered on one side inside out and place back on the rack.

Feeling a bit better I managed to get through the punt and actually really enjoyed myself. Girl was gorgeous but suffice to say I made a sharp exit after cumming so that I was long gone by the time she'd had a chance to go into bathroom to prepare for next punter. Hope she wasn't too upset!

Offline Roth

Recently was out with a client at lunch and after popping back into the office for an hour I decided to treat myself and headed for a punt. On way to the flat I could feel a few tummy rumblings but didn't think too much of it but on arrival I only had one thing on my mind and it wasn't pussy.

In hindsight sensible thing would have been to leave punt for another day but after a few hours of daydreaming about getting balls deep I decided to proceed. Anyway into the bathroom, supposedly for a shower and unloaded - lunch, last nights dinner, you name it. Looked for toilet paper and not much left. Used it all and got in shower to clean up. Out of shower and with rumblings continuing sat down for round two. This time even worse than before - like I was pissing shit. No toilet paper though so what to do? Grabbed available towel and cleaned up as best I could before round three came on. By now whore was knocking on door telling me to hurry up but with first towel in a state I had no choice but use second towel to clean up once again. Very quickly showered my asshole and was now ready for action but I had decide what to do with towels.

With whore standing outside the bathroom door, I decided best thing for it was to put first towel which was absolutely layered in shit in the bathtub and then turn second towel which was only covered on one side inside out and place back on the rack.

Feeling a bit better I managed to get through the punt and actually really enjoyed myself. Girl was gorgeous but suffice to say I made a sharp exit after cumming so that I was long gone by the time she'd had a chance to go into bathroom to prepare for next punter. Hope she wasn't too upset!

Ever thought of just hosing the shit off your arse by using the shower?  :unknown:

Offline NelsonH

Idiot, wassamatter with you?

Just ask the girl for more paper and explain whats happened.

She will ban you at the least now and she'd be right.


Offline Roth

Is it half-term yet by any chance?  :dash: :bomb:


Online threechilliman

Recently was out with a client at lunch and after popping back into the office for an hour I decided to treat myself and headed for a punt. On way to the flat I could feel a few tummy rumblings but didn't think too much of it but on arrival I only had one thing on my mind and it wasn't pussy.

In hindsight sensible thing would have been to leave punt for another day but after a few hours of daydreaming about getting balls deep I decided to proceed. Anyway into the bathroom, supposedly for a shower and unloaded - lunch, last nights dinner, you name it. Looked for toilet paper and not much left. Used it all and got in shower to clean up. Out of shower and with rumblings continuing sat down for round two. This time even worse than before - like I was pissing shit. No toilet paper though so what to do? Grabbed available towel and cleaned up as best I could before round three came on. By now whore was knocking on door telling me to hurry up but with first towel in a state I had no choice but use second towel to clean up once again. Very quickly showered my asshole and was now ready for action but I had decide what to do with towels.

With whore standing outside the bathroom door, I decided best thing for it was to put first towel which was absolutely layered in shit in the bathtub and then turn second towel which was only covered on one side inside out and place back on the rack.

Feeling a bit better I managed to get through the punt and actually really enjoyed myself. Girl was gorgeous but suffice to say I made a sharp exit after cumming so that I was long gone by the time she'd had a chance to go into bathroom to prepare for next punter. Hope she wasn't too upset!

One for the cunts thread me thinks.

tcm

Offline Trevor12

This smells of bullshit, literally.

fredpunter

  • Guest

Offline cueball

I thought the op was full of shit but then I realised.....

SaneOnes

  • Guest
Amidst all this shit spraying hilarity, may we have a link please, of the girl?

Offline Brazilian Martian

This guy should become a novelist maybe he can continue the Harry potter sagas


charming_red

  • Guest
What bollocks. He didn't fuck jack shit.

Offline zootalors

Amidst all this shit spraying hilarity, may we have a link please, of the girl?
If it was an orgy in a vintage car....would it have been a pretty shitty gang bang?

Offline Happylad

I`m afraid that when I read the Heading I reached an entirely wrong conclusion, and I visualised one of those flat bottomed boats so beloved of Cambridge Undergraduates being propelled by a bare arse hanging over the stern and blasting away like a jet engine.  Having read the full post I think I still prefer my version.

Only a complete twat would behave as he did.

Offline foreverchanges

Is it half-term yet by any chance?  :dash: :bomb:

Would that be the Infants or Nursery?

SaneOnes

  • Guest
If it was an orgy in a vintage car....would it have been a pretty shitty gang bang?

That was a rhetorical question, surely?

spkmstr48

  • Guest
Is it half-term yet by any chance?  :dash: :bomb:

Actually end of term, Easter, but yes the brats are out of school for the next two weeks so expect, expect what, the unexpected?

Ben4454

  • Guest
You should have cancelled the punt.

Stealthshagger

  • Guest
Recently was out with a client at lunch and after popping back into the office for an hour I decided to treat myself and headed for a punt. On way to the flat I could feel a few tummy rumblings but didn't think too much of it but on arrival I only had one thing on my mind and it wasn't pussy.

In hindsight sensible thing would have been to leave punt for another day but after a few hours of daydreaming about getting balls deep I decided to proceed. Anyway into the bathroom, supposedly for a shower and unloaded - lunch, last nights dinner, you name it. Looked for toilet paper and not much left. Used it all and got in shower to clean up. Out of shower and with rumblings continuing sat down for round two. This time even worse than before - like I was pissing shit. No toilet paper though so what to do? Grabbed available towel and cleaned up as best I could before round three came on. By now whore was knocking on door telling me to hurry up but with first towel in a state I had no choice but use second towel to clean up once again. Very quickly showered my asshole and was now ready for action but I had decide what to do with towels.

With whore standing outside the bathroom door, I decided best thing for it was to put first towel which was absolutely layered in shit in the bathtub and then turn second towel which was only covered on one side inside out and place back on the rack.

Feeling a bit better I managed to get through the punt and actually really enjoyed myself. Girl was gorgeous but suffice to say I made a sharp exit after cumming so that I was long gone by the time she'd had a chance to go into bathroom to prepare for next punter. Hope she wasn't too upset!

Let me guess...you wanted a rimming session? I was going to say you are full of shit, but I didn't intend the pun.

You realise the next punter would turn up and find shit all over the place? Hypothetically, what if the next punter saw a towel, showered and realised the other side of the towel was covered in your shit? If it were true, it would be a dickhead move for many reasons. I would laugh if the wg had washed chilli off her hands with the towel first.

Cornish sub

  • Guest
IF this is true, the op's an utter cunt.

Stealthshagger

  • Guest

Offline myothernameis

I would like to see this feedback from the escort

Offline blue80

Doubtful the story is true and can't see the OP either coming back online and posting a link to the girl involved!!

Offline cueball

It's a load of old bollox, us daft buggers are just keeping the thread alive

Stealthshagger

  • Guest
I would like to see this feedback from the escort

It'll be shittier than towel a

Offline Punting Valley

It is a very shitty thing for you to do. Doesnt matter if the girl gives you good or shitty service (and in OP's case she hasn't even provided her service yet), it simply does not warrant your shitty attitude by leaving her shitty towels, making her shitty bathroom smells shitty. I bet OP made her shitty day even shittier.

Randy James

  • Guest
dont get it, i was cracking up at the OP
thankfully i have a sense of humour. true or not true, its pretty funny

Offline Johny Stone

The OPs posts looks like a load of bollocks, either he is 15 yo or a troll.

FasterHarder

  • Guest
I knew putting this up wouldn't do my rep any good but thought I'd share as one of those experiences that I can't tell any of my friends but looking back made me chuckle.

Only reason I put one towel on rack was so that girl at door didn't notice towel was missing and go looking for it pre-punt.

JackDaniels

  • Guest
Why not just wash your arse in the shower?

A shitty towel would have stunk the entire flat out, no way this happened.

Tjkooker

  • Guest
What a minging cunt you are. No respect for yourself, fellow punters or the prossie.

Offline Bigus Dickus

I knew putting this up wouldn't do my rep any good but thought I'd share as one of those experiences that I can't tell any of my friends but looking back made me chuckle.

Only reason I put one towel on rack was so that girl at door didn't notice towel was missing and go looking for it pre-punt.

You do leak shit but it's from your posts and not your yawning donkey!  :hi:

Offline madeinwales56

I only looked at this thread to see if the op, Fasterharder, was still with us and not been banned yet ...

SaneOnes

  • Guest
He hasn't put up a link yet, has he?

Offline madeinwales56

He hasn't put up a link yet, has he?

Nope - and he's online right now. C'mon shit ass, give us a link or has your Mummy sent you to bed?

Offline johnny34

I'm assuming this is his idea of hardsports or in his case softsports.... :lol:

raylondoner

  • Guest
Should've asked her for hard sports!  :hi:


Offline Roth

The OP is an attention seeking troll.   :scare: :dash:

The punt never happened, the prossie doesn't exist.  Except in his own mind.   :crazy: :wacko:

Probably is a geek who never leaves his own bedroom and still sucks his thumb.  Probably shat his own bed and got mumsie to clean it up for him.  :dash: :dash:

Offline Roth

Just spotted he has now been banned.  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:  At least he is off his keyboard and can use both hands to wank now!  :wacko: :crazy:

Offline Trevor12

Just spotted he has now been banned.  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:  At least he is off his keyboard and can use both hands to wank now!  :wacko: :crazy:

Or to wipe his arse  :D