The Mechanical Punt

[Ben4454]

You knock on the door with great anticipation. The hidden working girl on the other side opens the door. You walk in to the bedroom after the quick non-genuine pleasantries and you are then greeted with a assortment of lubes and other body potions on the side of the bed which would give the body shop a run for their money.

Want massage? Me give.

No thanks - I like to start a bit slower.

No no. Me give massage. Strip naked now. Me want you completely relaxed with zero percent tension in body to successfully recieve this below average punt. Maybe preferably to the point of unconciousness so you do not realise how bad I really am.

Like I said no thanks to Massage. Lets try a BJ.

Working girl now turns furious. You just refused her massage. This is a big insult to her and her entire family and past generations. Working girl now reluctantly puts condom on penis sort of like putting a jacket on a small child.

At this point she begins to ride you. You feel like a can of beans. A complete generic conveyor belt experience. Having sex with a blow up doll might at least be cheaper and more exciting. You decide to hump and dump and get out of there as quick as possible.

Thumbs up if you've ever had a punt like this.

[smiths]

You knock on the door with great anticipation. The hidden working girl on the other side opens the door. You walk in to the bedroom after the quick non-genuine pleasantries and you are then greeted with a assortment of lubes and other body potions on the side of the bed which would give the body shop a run for their money.

Want massage? Me give.

No thanks - I like to start a bit slower.

No no. Me give massage. Strip naked now. Me want you completely relaxed with zero percent tension in body to successfully recieve this below average punt. Maybe preferably to the point of unconciousness so you do not realise how bad I really am.

Like I said no thanks to Massage. Lets try a BJ.

Working girl now turns furious. You just refused her massage. This is a big insult to her and her entire family and past generations. Working girl now reluctantly puts condom on penis sort of like putting a jacket on a small child.

At this point she begins to ride you. You feel like a can of beans. A complete generic conveyor belt experience. Having sex with a blow up doll might at least be cheaper and more exciting. You decide to hump and dump and get out of there as quick as possible.

Thumbs up if you've ever had a punt like this.

  though its obviously a big  when I have.

[threechilliman]

One of the main reasons I avoid foreign girls

tcm

[DG]

One of the main reasons I avoid foreign girls

tcm

+1

British independents every time. I've never had a bad reaction to refusing a massage. I would only ever take one on a longer punt, but even then rarely.

[ukguysix]

Sounds familiar, unfortunately

[Malvolio]

It's something you get every so often - as you say, all you can do is shoot your load and leave.

[Chuckman]

Oh yes. The fake moans, the 'oh you're so big' type comments, oral that lacks sensation etc. All you can do is cum, go and chalk it up as a poor punt.

[Sonny Crockett]

For me a mechanical punt is where the lady makes you lie on the bed, rolls on the condom, blows you like a robot, then gets you fuck her in doggy for only a couple of minutes. I had quite a few of those with Eastern European escorts in Leicester a few years ago.

Another element of the mechanical punt is the massage, which I consider to be a time wasting tactic...... If I ever wanted a massage, I would go to a qualified physiotherapist, not a WG!!!!!!!!

[Marmite]

If I ever wanted a massage, I would go to a qualified physiotherapist, not a WG!!!!!!!!

Absolutely, a good massage takes a lot of skill and effort and is full hour on its own.

[azrael]

You knock on the door with great anticipation. The hidden working girl on the other side opens the door. You walk in to the bedroom after the quick non-genuine pleasantries and you are then greeted with a assortment of lubes and other body potions on the side of the bed which would give the body shop a run for their money.

Want massage? Me give.

No thanks - I like to start a bit slower.

No no. Me give massage. Strip naked now. Me want you completely relaxed with zero percent tension in body to successfully recieve this below average punt. Maybe preferably to the point of unconciousness so you do not realise how bad I really am.

Like I said no thanks to Massage. Lets try a BJ.

Working girl now turns furious. You just refused her massage. This is a big insult to her and her entire family and past generations. Working girl now reluctantly puts condom on penis sort of like putting a jacket on a small child.

At this point she begins to ride you. You feel like a can of beans. A complete generic conveyor belt experience. Having sex with a blow up doll might at least be cheaper and more exciting. You decide to hump and dump and get out of there as quick as possible.

Thumbs up if you've ever had a punt like this.

  had a few like what you mentioned when i first started punting, you learn how to weed the romanins out 

[Bencannon:)]

Maybe I'm the odd one out but I don't mind a bit of a massage. 

I mean, you pay for 30 mins.  Once the shagging is done, what do you do the remaing 28mins?

[SirFrank]

I've had more mechanical punts over the years than I care to remember and most of them were with British girls back in the day when I first started out in my illustrious punting career. I have to say since I've joined UKP my good punts outweigh my average ones (haven't had a shit one in a few years) simply because I invest time in recon. I talk that way since my works outdoor team building exercise. My next punt is 3 clicks north of Cabot Circus.

Oh and I never punt with Romanians

[306]

Working girl now turns furious. You just refused her massage. This is a big insult to her and her entire family and past generations. Working girl now reluctantly puts condom on penis sort of like putting a jacket on a small child.

At this point she begins to ride you. You feel like a can of beans. A complete generic conveyor belt experience. Having sex with a blow up doll might at least be cheaper and more exciting. You decide to hump and dump and get out of there as quick as possible.

Thumbs up if you've ever had a punt like this.
  had a few like what you mentioned when i first started punting,
you learn how to weed the romanins out   99% shit punts