Punting excuse for late Sunday night to tell the wife!

[davewmids69]

Got any ideas?  Thought Xmas shopping but they close at 5pm round here. I have a rare opportunity and don't want it to pass.

Thanks.

[Richthescouser]

Got any ideas?  Thought Xmas shopping but they close at 5pm round here. I have a rare opportunity and don't want it to pass.

Thanks.

So you’re a mumsnetter trying to catch out their husband, yes?

[kingmg]

Going to pub or bookies

[cueball]

Richthescouser makes a very good point above, I'd tread carefully on this thread.

[davewmids69]

Lol I'm not a Mumsnetter. Please PM if you're concerned, look back at my previous posts..  Don't drink, never work Sundays. I'm struggling here lol

[Philmeboots]

What are we supposed to learn from your previous posts.
Occasionally asking for information but posting nothing useful back in return in nearly 3 years.

You may well be genuinely asking a question but try contributing a little first.

[cueball]

Lol I'm not a Mumsnetter. Please PM if you're concerned, look back at my previous posts..  Don't drink, never work Sundays. I'm struggling here lol

7 posts and no reviews in 3 years.... 

You're hardly going crazy on here are you

[Waterhouse]

Midnight Mass?   

Depends how late I guess. I would have have thought quick pint with Dave (or Tel or John or whatever) would've been the norm on a Sunday.

 'Course you could claim to be a born again Christian and tell her indoors you off to church for a service 

[tynetunnel]

A mate is moving the furniture out of a room ready for decorating, and needs a hand, then you might stop for a brew and a chat as you haven’t seen him in a while 

[m4rmite]

Got any ideas?  Thought Xmas shopping but they close at 5pm round here. I have a rare opportunity and don't want it to pass.

Thanks.

Going to the pub cus you're fed up of her moaning?

[mr.bluesky]

Got any ideas?  Thought Xmas shopping but they close at 5pm round here. I have a rare opportunity and don't want it to pass.

Thanks.

Tell her you're going out for a punt so you can break your reviewing duck

[Sibiu]

Going to a music concert - sort of music you like and she doesn't. Done it before but it's risky. If I were you I'd just accept that it aint going to happen and wait for another opportunity. There are times when patience and discretion are the better options in this game.

[m4rmite]

Tell her you're going out for a punt so you can break your reviewing duck

Or tell your missus you are off for a drink with a mate because his missus has split up with him. Cause of separation? No sex.

[Derrick101]

Lol I'm not a Mumsnetter. Please PM if you're concerned, look back at my previous posts..  Don't drink, never work Sundays. I'm struggling here lol

Well.... It would be pointless looking at your reviews ...

[wristjob]

Lol I'm not a Mumsnetter. Please PM if you're concerned, look back at my previous posts..  Don't drink, never work Sundays. I'm struggling here lol

Doesn't look like you are a punter either. Go book a punt on a different day, I mean duh!

[blackburnian]

Well.... It would be pointless looking at your reviews ...

Give him a chance pal - he's only been here just over 3 years , if he can't figure out an excuse to nip out on his own & needs our help then he's got fuck all chance of actually organising the rest of the  punt 

Bb

[Stevensmiles]

I post regularly on a fetish board and have met and made friends  with several of the other members over the years.

It’s been discussed on here about meet ups and a beer etc. But it seems the divide between punters who fuck and punters who are into BDSM/Fetish play is very wide indeed.
The fetish scene seems to find it easier to mingle with like minded others 

If your wondering what I’m getting at.
If you had mates/pals who could lend assistance,

ie: Telephone call from old friend. “Fancy a beer this evening mate”

I don’t need the excuses cos I just do what I want. It comes with being an ugly belligerent
Bastard. Who nobody wants 

[Ipad12345]

Sorry Love, I'm off for a quick shag

[Metalgear2018]

Just say you are going to put air in your tyres

[cunningman]

Just say you are going to put air in your tyres

WTF?  Can you explain that?  Sorry - I'm old!  OK, not as old as HP, but still!

[Brumish]

WTF?  Can you explain that?  Sorry - I'm old!  OK, not as old as HP, but still!

I think he meant air for his penny farthing.

You probably haven’t upgraded to one of these from a horse yet Cunningman, but it’s all the rave around the city now.

Good excuse to get away from the missus.

[welshpunter17]

Pizza with the boys is my excuse for Sundays

[SN5]

You're tired and stressed out and you just fancy a quiet pint, you're off to the pub and may as well watch a football match while there. There's a really good Spanish La Liga game on, won't be over til 10:30 or so.

[magnetico]

davewmids69, it's for your first punt?

[MrArmagh]

Midnight Mass?   

if you do go down that route I would use that excuse and even go sit in the car somewhere or go to mass, if you never go to mass and one day think ill go to mass then never go again she may get a sniff of something, you know.

personally I normally go with a pint with a mate, or some work person she has no clue who he is, even better if there a bit older and are not on facebook/ or at least likely to check in somewhere you know.

personally I just wait to she's away with her mates or I have an opportunity I don't like making an excuse out of the blue, cover your tracks well.

[Cum_again]

You're tired and stressed out and you just fancy a quiet pint, you're off to the pub and may as well watch a football match while there. There's a really good Spanish La Liga game on, won't be over til 10:30 or so.

And I will be fucking a whore for an hour of it so don’t call.

What?  What do you mean you were listening this time?

[RedKettle]

For me Sunday evening is family time and I would not be looking to go out punting - just a thought but if you are looking to get away from the wife at that time should you be looking at a more permanent escape from the relationship?

[Richthescouser]

For me Sunday evening is family time and I would not be looking to go out punting - just a thought but if you are looking to get away from the wife at that time should you be looking at a more permanent escape from the relationship?

That only works if his life is like yours though - many different families have many different times that are important to them, and building excuses around what works for others is likely to go horribly wrong.

[Fuzzyduck]

Got any ideas?  Thought Xmas shopping but they close at 5pm round here. I have a rare opportunity and don't want it to pass.

Thanks.

Initially I was intrigued what your rare opportunity might be and was going to offer a suggestion. Then I saw all your posts have been to ask questions and you've given nothing back. Not once have you had the good grace to offer a brief thanks to any of the punters who took time to reply to you. Quite frankly, whilst this thread offers some entertainment, you don't deserve any sort of help. Enjoy your Sunday night in watching the Strictly results.

[GreyDave]

  Fuck it lv the cars electrics system just stopped the car going I rang AA they told me 4hrs for a tow or could wait lock out time 3/4hr then try turn on and reseting the thing just by turn of and on again a few times and running engine for 10mins before moving as the steering and throttle are all eletric....

Mind you you fucked if you like a punter I used to bump in to at party`s with his folding Brompton Bike    Larry 

[GreyDave]

Ok larry I take onboard puncture but I thought you had run flat tubes

[MrArmagh]

Fuck it lv the cars electrics system just stopped the car going I rang AA they told me 4hrs for a tow or could wait lock out time 3/4hr then try turn on and reseting the thing just by turn of and on again a few times and running engine for 10mins before moving as the steering and throttle are all eletric....

Mind you you fucked if you like a punter I used to bump in to at party`s with his folding Brompton Bike    Larry 

you know what that's a bloody brilliant idea.

[shagmore]

Tell her you are going out for a shag, if she doesn't like it to get her kit off and open her legs, and put some effort into it. After all it is nearly Christmas

[Fuzzyduck]

Tell her you are going out for a shag, if she doesn't like it to get her kit off and open her legs, and put some effort into it. After all it is nearly Christmas

Best of luck with that: she'll have checked his posts and review count, and won't believe him.

[RedKettle]

That only works if his life is like yours though - many different families have many different times that are important to them, and building excuses around what works for others is likely to go horribly wrong.

Agreed, you are right I was making assumptions.

[Plan R]

Zero review account + request for a list of punting excuses to look out for = mumsnutter alert

Hidden Image/Members Only

Your questions will have more credibility after 3 or 4 reviews OP, I don't think that's unreasonable though 

[pewpewpew]

"Fuck off. I'm my own man and no woman can tell me what to do apart from mother"

Also

Sorry Love, I'm off for a quick shag

[Philmeboots]

So OP...did you get out Sunday and spread your seed .

Or are we to be treated to a Sunday serial each week with dozens of left field suggestions how to escape from your den.

[Mr333]

If you're making it up and away when she's at home twiddling her thumbs, she'll smell the BS a mile off. Best to punt when she's busy and you don't need to concoct dodgy excuses.

A mate of mine is in a similar situation, it means some opportunities are impossible for him and he has to let them slip by in order to carry on having fun undetected.

[threechilliman]

If you're making it up and away when she's at home twiddling her thumbs, she'll smell the BS a mile off. Best to punt when she's busy and you don't need to concoct dodgy excuses.

A mate of mine is in a similar situation, it means some opportunities are impossible for him and he has to let them slip by in order to carry on having fun undetected.

Very good advice for me. Punt when you won't be missed. No way would I pop out for a punt with the OH at home - complete madness.

[SN5]

You need to have a regular thing you go to, like football on a Saturday afternoon or something. What's an extra hour when you're expected to be away from the house a few towns away, facing traffic there and back.

Like others have said, making excuses to get out of the house at a time when you will be missed is risky. Better off changing your target time to Saturday afternoons, or during the week after work etc

[Gordon Bennett]

The simple fact is you do NOT have the opportunity to punt on Sunday night do you? You have no plausible excuse to suddenly clear off so why even consider it.... All punters have to concoct an ongoing backstory that stands up to scrutiny. Think of your wife and her Zumba classes and her dressmaking course but she has a big saggy arse and has never actually bought a finished dress home - you need to start enrolling in similar courses and endeavours.

[GorillaWarfare]

Luckily I don't have to excuse myself (the single life does have its benefits sometimes) but it's the same sort of excuses if you're playing away from home with a civvie. "Down the pub" is usually a good one. Christmas shopping would still be good if you make it so you're not just doing a rush-job down your local shops, pretend you're making a proper effort of it going to a shopping centre out of town that's open late on Sundays.

[catweazle]

Fuck it lv the cars electrics system just stopped the car going I rang AA they told me 4hrs for a tow or could wait lock out time 3/4hr then try turn on and reseting the thing just by turn of and on again a few times and running engine for 10mins before moving as the steering and throttle are all eletric....

40 minutes later, she'll ring...." any luck yet?" You are gonna need a further excuse for why you can't answer the phone.

[stevedave]

Just tell her you're off out to shag a prostitute - it's so preposterous that she won't believe you.

[zztop1168]

Alarms gone off at work.

[Fuzzyduck]

Alarms gone off at work.

Geez, that seems to happen a lot, eh? Usually every Sunday around 5pm.

[Hardpunt2]

Tell her you are going to look at something off Gumtree/ Facebook market place. If she asks what/ where/ why say it's her present. Obviously it wasn't in good condition so you never bought it.

[stormbringer]

Take on emergency plumbing work

[RedKettle]

I once put petrol in my diesel car on the way home. Had to wait hours for the man to turn up and sort it out.  Thought at the time that it might be a useful excuse at some point, especially if you say you paid in cash so it even covers the cost of the punt.

Mind you having done it once for real I am not sure I am up for everyone thinking I am that much of an idiot to do it again.