What's the closest you've come to getting caught?

[threechilliman]

Occasionally, despite all the routines and stuff we go through to ensure we keep things secret, you make a mistake.

Some time ago I wrote a few WG's names and mobile numbers on a scrap of paper, intending to take it to work with me for reference. Something distracted me and I ended up leaving it on my desk at home. I was the other side of Manchester when I realised

Fortunately, when I got home it was still where I left it - generally nobody goes in there anyway - but it was one scary moment. I don't write things down now.

What's the closest you've come to making that fatal error?

tcm

[Pdubz]

never been caught as i cover my tracks pretty well, everything gets cleared off phone, internet history and have two different oysters (pathetic i know)

i always do wonder what it be like if my parents knew, thankfully i dont live with them anymore

[cueball]

To be honest I've done ok over the years, I'm very careful though, nothing is written down. All written info lives on aw, punting phone carries nothing.

My windows are suitably safe as I don't deviate from my routine pre, during and post punt (and there is a routine).

Never get complacent though

[Cuntminion]

My right hand is okay with what I do so no need to cover tracks
 

[claretandblue]

so far so good, but then again even as a novice punter i used a punting phone which doesnt leave my office other than when i take it to punts, i only do incalls and i dont punt anywhere near where i live

[Dime]

I am usually quite careful, I don't have a punting phone because I don't really need one; none of  my friends of family would ever dream of looking at my texts or private content. I'm at student and live with my parents, so usually go for incall punts on the days both of them are at work and I don't have any classes at uni. However, once I arranged for my favourite WG to come to my house on a day both were at work, and I thought I had the house to myself. However, she cancelled at the last minute and said she would be able to see me for an incall instead later on in the week. Half an hour after the prossie was scheduled to come, my dad came home stating that his boss gave him a  a half day off as he still had  annual leave that he hadn't used.. Imagine if she hadn't cancelled and he had came home when I was upstairs pounding fuck out of a WG in my parent's bed 

[ampersand]

I am usually quite careful, I don't have a punting phone because I don't really need one; none of  my friends of family would ever dream of looking at my texts or private content. I'm at student and live with my parents, so usually go for incall punts on the days both of them are at work and I don't have any classes at uni. However, once I arranged for my favourite WG to come to my house on a day both were at work, and I thought I had the house to myself. However, she cancelled at the last minute and said she would be able to see me for an incall instead later on in the week. Half an hour after the prossie was scheduled to come, my dad came home stating that his boss gave him a  a half day off as he still had  annual leave that he hadn't used.. Imagine if she hadn't cancelled and he had came home when I was upstairs pounding fuck out of a WG in my parent's bed 

There is a lesson there - don't use your parents' bed - anything else is explicable!!

[dizietsmae]

I am usually quite careful, I don't have a punting phone because I don't really need one; none of  my friends of family would ever dream of looking at my texts or private content. I'm at student and live with my parents, so usually go for incall punts on the days both of them are at work and I don't have any classes at uni. However, once I arranged for my favourite WG to come to my house on a day both were at work, and I thought I had the house to myself. However, she cancelled at the last minute and said she would be able to see me for an incall instead later on in the week. Half an hour after the prossie was scheduled to come, my dad came home stating that his boss gave him a  a half day off as he still had  annual leave that he hadn't used.. Imagine if she hadn't cancelled and he had came home when I was upstairs pounding fuck out of a WG in my parent's bed 

If I caught my son doing that I'd just laugh to be honest 

[NottsNylonLuvr]

If I caught my son doing that I'd just laugh to be honest 

+High five

[Neal69]

Had just booked for a punt when OH car drove up when I was not expecting her until the following day.

Had a bit of a fraught time with punting phone trying to cancel by text without her seeing or hearing the text.

Just recently I had not cleared the punting phone as I usually save the details on As notes.

Left the text msg with the address on full view all evening.

Punting phone is an old phone and hides in full view as I run an app on it. I simply change SIM when needed but of course it still holds all old texts so does need clearing after punting use

[carefree]

Jesus, you people don't half make it complicated for yourselves.

Writing things down, booking a tart for a home visit......wtf???

This game is only as hard as you make it, and I find it piss easy 

[Mr. Cheeks]

Have technically been caught by my missus It was during the very start of my punting days about a year ago when I didn't have a punting phone and was seeing girls in parlours. Our sex life was pretty dead at the time. I was driving her car after we had been to family friends house for a BBQ far away from home and I was using my phone as the sat nav. We left the BBQ and started making our way home and realised that I left my coat behind so we spun around and I left my phone on the car seat as I went back inside to fetch my coat. When I got back to the car my missus had a face of thunder as she told me to explain what this text message was all about. Luckily the text convo was one where I had arranged to see this particular wg but didn't show up due to me working late that night. The wg wrote if I was still coming along and then wrote "where are you"
I had to come clean to the O/H but was able to wrangle it in my favour by saying that because our sex life had hit rock bottom I was contemplating seeing escorts. I told her I felt 'guilty' about seeing this escort at the time and got cold feet before the planned meet. What ensued was 2 weeks on the couch for my sins and a lot of heartache and trust issues!!
I think we have turned the corner and I now have a punting phone, I delete selected browser history from my phone, Ipad and computer. I'm now also VERY diligent with my punting so that I don't get caught because if I do there will be no coming back.....

[bennyboy75]

I had a punt a few days ago during which I finger fucked the girl with a condom over my two fingers. It was at her flat in Aberdeen city centre.

Later that day I was walking past my computer desk and here was the condom lying on my floor.

I have literally no idea how it got there, I can only asume It must have stuck to my flesh while on the bed or I discarded it onto her floor and it ended up in my clothing.

It's no big deal as I'm single and live alone but it just shows you how careful you have to be

[spkmstr48]

I deliberately take risks as I think it's part of the fun.

Yesterday evening I was chatting to another punter on twitter in front of my family whilst watching TV. Wife says who's that you are chatting to and I just named a random mate and said we were talking about a forthcoming trip to Berlin.

 

[Turtle Z]

The closest I've ever come to getting caught is getting caught. Left my browser open on adultwork on my iPad and I was even signed in. Mrs T read the lot and there was no coming back from that.

[Sureshot]

The closest I've ever come to getting caught is getting caught. Left my browser open on adultwork on my iPad and I was even signed in. Mrs T read the lot and there was no coming back from that.

So what was the outcome? Did you blag it or did she give you the boot?

[Turtle Z]

So what was the outcome? Did you blag it or did she give you the boot?

Thankfully no kids involved so we agreed to give each other the boot. It it was any good I wouldn't have been shagging prossies.

[Sureshot]

Fair enough. Did you get any grief afterwards? I'd be worried she'd out me to everyone.  Bitches can be/are vindictive!

[Turtle Z]

Fair enough. Did you get any grief afterwards? I'd be worried she'd out me to everyone.  Bitches can be/are vindictive!

None at all. She never told a sole and was actually quite reasonable about the whole thing.

[MancSean]

+High five

If the wg was fit I would probably ask if she would do another sesh with me once he's finished.
My son is 17 and does his fair share of browsing on aw

[dizietsmae]

If the wg was fit I would probably ask if she would do another sesh with me once he's finished.
My son is 17 and does his fair share of browsing on aw

You are a legend 

[MancSean]

I deliberately take risks as I think it's part of the fun.

Yesterday evening I was chatting to another punter on twitter in front of my family whilst watching TV. Wife says who's that you are chatting to and I just named a random mate and said we were talking about a forthcoming trip to Berlin.

 

When I was with my ex gf things got really bad near the end. She was a jealous bitch and always looking at my phone to see who I was chatting to on twitter and whatsapp. One day she really fucked me off so I went out and left aw open on my phone knowing she would find it. Well she did and went ape shit I got a slap round the head plus she keyed me down the face.  Had to lie to my kids why I had a long cit down me cheek. Ironically I think I was skint at the time and couldn't of afforded to see a wg.
3 months later we split up so it kind of worked

[MancSean]

You are a legend 

Haha pervert is probably a better way of describing me

[spkmstr48]

Haha pervert is probably a better way of describing me

Strange, that's exactly what my wife calls me 

 

[Steely Dan]

When I was with my ex gf things got really bad near the end. She was a jealous bitch and always looking at my phone to see who I was chatting to on twitter and whatsapp. One day she really fucked me off so I went out and left aw open on my phone knowing she would find it. Well she did and went ape shit I got a slap round the head plus she keyed me down the face.  Had to lie to my kids why I had a long cit down me cheek. Ironically I think I was skint at the time and couldn't of afforded to see a wg.

makes sense.  a slap and a scar for life is better than just breaking up.

3 months later we split up so it kind of worked

Though I can't see how it took 3 months

[claretandblue]

Just a little follow up on this but I have discovered that one or maybe a couple of my work colleagues are aware that I have a second phone

Luckily this is all they know,I have probably been sloppy on occasions and sneakily checked it at my desk and been clocked,something  I wont do again. 

I have also changed my routine from mainly lunchlunchtime punting to early evening again to avoid any suspicions at work.
might be something other day time office worker punters should consider

[stevedave]

I tend to be a lunch hour punter too, I don't think any of my colleagues have twigged on to this yet, but it is a worry. I always make sure I shower thoroughly with just warm water when I finish, to minimise any smell of sex, perfume or most worryingly, condoms! 

So far so good, but it would be a worry if anyone suspected anything!

[claretandblue]

I tend to be a lunch hour punter too, I don't think any of my colleagues have twigged on to this yet, but it is a worry. I always make sure I shower thoroughly with just warm water when I finish, to minimise any smell of sex, perfume or most worryingly, condoms! 

So far so good, but it would be a worry if anyone suspected anything!

I changed to evenings as I found I was worrying too much about getting back to work,also bit of paranoia thinking whether people would notice your hair was different having just got out of the shower!

[johnnyboy61]

I carry my punting phone around quite a lot, partly because there is one WG who often contacts me by text between bookings. Noticed at work the other day that the phone was not in my pocket. Believe me, if the phone had been found by someone else it would have been curtains for me in my job. There are some quite lengthy text exchanges between me and the aforementioned girl as well as texts making bookings, and of course the contacts are all girls' names.

I retraced my steps since I last knew I had the phone and spent a couple of hours looking for it. Had to wait until the building was very quiet as the ringer was on silent and finally just before the building was locked up for the night I found it under a table a few feet from a sofa where I had been sitting earlier. It would have been bound to have been found by the cleaners the following morning. Sweating so much I had to change my shirt when I got home.

Two lessons for me: keep as little incriminating evidence as possible on the phone (encode or remove phone numbers and delete texts); and keep phone in a safer place than my pocket!
If she texts me during the day in future she's going to have to wait until the evening for a reply.

[stevedave]

I changed to evenings as I found I was worrying too much about getting back to work,also bit of paranoia thinking whether people would notice your hair was different having just got out of the shower!

I never wash my hair  well, after a punt, I mean! Evenings aren't an option for me...the OH would probably be curious where I was, so lunch times (and the odd day off) or has to be.

[ampersand]

Surely lunchtime showers can be explained by a health kick - gym or swimming.

[itk]

I never wash my hair  well, after a punt, I mean! Evenings aren't an option for me...the OH would probably be curious where I was, so lunch times (and the odd day off) or has to be.

Washing my hair after a punt was what nearly got me caught. After the action I jumped in the shower and started to do my hair, forgetting where I was. Luckily enough managed to get home later that day and jumped in my shower before being seen by OH.

[foreverandever]

Actually got caught last year. The long term partner found my punting phone after I carelessly left it on my car seat instead of the hiding place in the boot. I had only had it a couple of months and was always careful previously with my smartphone. Just got sloppy and complacent. Sadly the relationship ended but if I had been totally happy in the first place I wouldn't have been doing brass I guess?

[claretandblue]

I never wash my hair  well, after a punt, I mean! Evenings aren't an option for me...the OH would probably be curious where I was, so lunch times (and the odd day off) or has to be.

I have used the gym as cover for the washed hair a few times!I do like a 6.30 punt now, just say I'm out for a couple with work,luckily she doesn't call me that often these days!

[claretandblue]

I carry my punting phone around quite a lot, partly because there is one WG who often contacts me by text between bookings. Noticed at work the other day that the phone was not in my pocket. Believe me, if the phone had been found by someone else it would have been curtains for me in my job. There are some quite lengthy text exchanges between me and the aforementioned girl as well as texts making bookings, and of course the contacts are all girls' names.

I retraced my steps since I last knew I had the phone and spent a couple of hours looking for it. Had to wait until the building was very quiet as the ringer was on silent and finally just before the building was locked up for the night I found it under a table a few feet from a sofa where I had been sitting earlier. It would have been bound to have been found by the cleaners the following morning. Sweating so much I had to change my shirt when I got home.

Two lessons for me: keep as little incriminating evidence as possible on the phone (encode or remove phone numbers and delete texts); and keep phone in a safer place than my pocket!
If she texts me during the day in future she's going to have to wait until the evening for a reply.

just to be clear,are you saying you would be fired for texting a prostitute? How would that be deemed a stackable offence if you are using your own phone?

[johnnyboy61]

just to be clear,are you saying you would be fired for texting a prostitute? How would that be deemed a stackable offence if you are using your own phone?

There are just certain jobs where this kind of behaviour would be seen as totally unacceptable. Obviously can't really say any more that that!

[RedKettle]

Have technically been caught by my missus It was during the very start of my punting days about a year ago when I didn't have a punting phone and was seeing girls in parlours. Our sex life was pretty dead at the time. I was driving her car after we had been to family friends house for a BBQ far away from home and I was using my phone as the sat nav. We left the BBQ and started making our way home and realised that I left my coat behind so we spun around and I left my phone on the car seat as I went back inside to fetch my coat. When I got back to the car my missus had a face of thunder as she told me to explain what this text message was all about. Luckily the text convo was one where I had arranged to see this particular wg but didn't show up due to me working late that night. The wg wrote if I was still coming along and then wrote "where are you"
I had to come clean to the O/H but was able to wrangle it in my favour by saying that because our sex life had hit rock bottom I was contemplating seeing escorts. I told her I felt 'guilty' about seeing this escort at the time and got cold feet before the planned meet. What ensued was 2 weeks on the couch for my sins and a lot of heartache and trust issues!!
I think we have turned the corner and I now have a punting phone, I delete selected browser history from my phone, Ipad and computer. I'm now also VERY diligent with my punting so that I don't get caught because if I do there will be no coming back.....

with a specific story like that you had better hope your missus does not find this site!!! 

[Quesadilla]

just to be clear,are you saying you would be fired for texting a prostitute? How would that be deemed a stackable offence if you are using your own phone?

Many companies have vaguely worded policies regarding behaviour that might bring the company into disrepute - typically warrants a written warning at least if not outright dismissal and really depends both on the behaviour, your job, and the context - ie were you actually representing the company at the time the behaviour took place and therefore directly associating said behaviour with the organisation?

[MancSean]

I changed to evenings as I found I was worrying too much about getting back to work,also bit of paranoia thinking whether people would notice your hair was different having just got out of the shower!

You could just take a rucksack with you and say you are going to the gym for a swim or steam bath

[Boundless]

If I caught my son doing that I'd just laugh to be honest 

Me too, as long as he washed the sheets!

[Boundless]

I think all these things go to show that we should never get complacent.
Check, check then check again.
I came back from a punt this week and as the Mrs was due home shortly, quickly got changed into my gardening clothes and rushed out into the garden. It was a few hours later that I saw my punting phone that I'd thrown onto the bed! 

As I've said before, luckily my Mrs knows I'm always pissing about with technology and stuff so she didn't even question it.

(Unless of course she turned it on and made a note of the numbers in it so she could google them! Gulp!  )

[Largs43]

My security risk is my best mates.

I feel bad not sharing my punting adventures with them, but I worry they'd retell the stories in the pub after a few drinks, or to their burds, even if sworn to secrecy. Then the stories would circulate & catch up with me...

So I force myself to keep punting secret from everyone, though I've been close to telling all a few times.

It feels like I'm lying to my mates, but it's the lesser of 2 evils.

[regular_guy]

i forgot to browse "incognito" one day and my wife looked at the history and found AW.  so lucky i was only browsing and hadn't actually logged in.

I just claimed i was curious and look locally to see if there's anyone i know on there,  or to see if there's any familiar faces when we are out shopping,  then claimed i saw one of the WG's in Asda once.

I think i got away with it..

[Quesadilla]

Jesus, you people don't half make it complicated for yourselves.

Writing things down, booking a tart for a home visit......wtf???

This game is only as hard as you make it, and I find it piss easy 

+1 - WTF indeed!!  I personally only punt when I'm single. Couldn't possibly be easier. No deception, no fear of being caught, no guilt, just pure punting pleasure.   

[GreyDave]

 

about year ago bumped into the Sister-Inlaw in Soho

I was meant to be working on a flat rush job in North London, I was walking away after a punt and going up towards Main rd .. Christ did I brick it  as I was scruffy and had old clothes on I was able to say I had been asked to lend a hand by boss who has 100 plus places on books to clean up a small appartment "oh wheres that then?" she asked down there off one of the little roads . was answer I made the excuse now Ive got to get back on tube as I had a lift in ...That day and the way she asked and looked at me still haunts me cause her old man after a drink often talked about the working girls in soho in 60`s  and I am sure she was guessing right about me. I ve not asked her as to why she was there on her own on a Saturday morning it seems to bloody risky to raise matter

[claretandblue]

about year ago bumped into the Sister-Inlaw in Soho

I was meant to be working on a flat rush job in North London, I was walking away after a punt and going up towards Main rd .. Christ did I brick it  as I was scruffy and had old clothes on I was able to say I had been asked to lend a hand by boss who has 100 plus places on books to clean up a small appartment "oh wheres that then?" she asked down there off one of the little roads . was answer I made the excuse now Ive got to get back on tube as I had a lift in ...That day and the way she asked and looked at me still haunts me cause her old man after a drink often talked about the working girls in soho in 60`s  and I am sure she was guessing right about me. I ve not asked her as to why she was there on her own on a Saturday morning it seems to bloody risky to raise matter

perhaps she was on her way to work!

[Boundless]

i forgot to browse "incognito" one day and my wife looked at the history and found AW.  so lucky i was only browsing and hadn't actually logged in.

I just claimed i was curious and look locally to see if there's anyone i know on there,  or to see if there's any familiar faces when we are out shopping,  then claimed i saw one of the WG's in Asda once.

I think i got away with it..

Jesus! That was a bullet with your name on mate!

Women have a habit of storing these little snippets of information away for future use.
Hope it's all Ok.

[Boundless]

My security risk is my best mates.

I feel bad not sharing my punting adventures with them, but I worry they'd retell the stories in the pub after a few drinks, or to their burds, even if sworn to secrecy. Then the stories would circulate & catch up with me...

So I force myself to keep punting secret from everyone, though I've been close to telling all a few times.

It feels like I'm lying to my mates, but it's the lesser of 2 evils.

Absolutely, total secrecy and nothing less will do I'm afraid.

A guy i work with plays away regularly and regales me with lurid stories about fucking these milfs up the ass, coming in their gobs etc. Then started telling me about the 2 knocking shops in town and how much it costs etc (actually he's way off the mark) and what the birds are like.

I just smile inscrutably.

Would love to say, listen mate, I wouldn't touch your old slappers with a bargepole, I've fucked the gorgeous Emily Jane AND her equally gorgeous mate Hannah together both in skimpy school uniform and pigtails then I came in her eager, soft, young mouth to finish. And I've fucked so many other fit young birds I couldn't possibly begin to count them. Not only that I regularly see a girl that lets me tie her up spreadeagled and blindfolded and then fuck the living daylights out of her!!

But instead, we have to keep our powder dry, keep our own counsel, until the next time.
Thank fuck for UKP!!

[stevedave]

Women have a habit of storing these little snippets of information away for future use.

Too bloody right they do!

Just regarding Incognito Browsing - whoever invented that deserves a fucking knighthood! Must have been a punter 

[threechilliman]

Absolutely, total secrecy and nothing less will do I'm afraid.

A guy i work with plays away regularly and regales me with lurid stories about fucking these milfs up the ass, coming in their gobs etc. Then started telling me about the 2 knocking shops in town and how much it costs etc (actually he's way off the mark) and what the birds are like.

I just smile inscrutably.

Would love to say, listen mate, I wouldn't touch your old slappers with a bargepole, I've fucked the gorgeous Emily Jane AND her equally gorgeous mate Hannah together both in skimpy school uniform and pigtails then I came in her eager, soft, young mouth to finish. And I've fucked so many other fit young birds I couldn't possibly begin to count them. Not only that I regularly see a girl that lets me tie her up spreadeagled and blindfolded and then fuck the living daylights out of her!!

But instead, we have to keep our powder dry, keep our own counsel, until the next time.
Thank fuck for UKP!!

Yep, it's so tempting to tell a mate, but it'll get out if you do. Never tell a soul, not even your wife!

tcm