How do punters cope on holiday when the OH who has turned the tap off?

[Gustav Klimt]

Just got back from 2 weeks holiday with the OH. We were on a Greek island, the weather was wonderful & were surrounded by semi clad women on the beach. My problem - the OH turned the tap off years ago, so how do I cope? 

Tried banging one out, but that relief only lasted a few hours & then I was hornier than before. Getting desperate I watched some porn on the iPad, but that didn’t help. Porn promises so much, but for me delivers little.

Everywhere I looked there were gorgeous milfs & young hotties in skimpy swimwear. Even the waitresses in the tavernas were wearing tight shorts & little tops. Of course as I’m looking at them I started pricing them as if they were prossies.

I usually punt every weekend, so it is now 4 weeks since my last punt. Last year when I came home I booked a last minute punt & had a disappointing time. This year I have a punt booked for this morning with a milf I’ve seen before, so should be a safe bet. Arranged it all by text last week while sunbathing on the beach with the OH next to me. That was my only bit of excitement for the holiday.

So my question is how do other guys cope in an enforced no sex holiday?

[Sinz]

Depends where you are on a holiday.

Like you said resorting to porn on phone when no other options are available. 

[bigmanbigman]

Dont go with wife go alone

[standardpostage]

Punt a day or two before the holiday if you can.  And arrange one a day or two after you come back (this gives you something to look forward to). That's what I do. On holiday just enjoy enjoy looking , and making the best of it. 

[Zeusthedoc]

Can't relate I'm afraid.

Holidays can have their downsides.
I'm guessing you thought of any given opportunity to fob her off and try n hit on a local/other holiday maker.

Could also try to resort to holidaying in a bigger group, often easier to make excuses and vanish for a few hours if you have something lined up (rub n tug joint, or a bar to take it chances).

I'm not much help otherwise. Good thing to think about though

[Bogof60]

Can't help OP and slightly off topic But
On holiday with OH this summer I did get a meagre ration of holiday sex but was gagging to get between the thighs of a fit young hottie by the time we got back

[Romeo Sensini]

Other way round for me, couple of holiday shags with OH is my entire ration, but these days that suits me.

[webpunter]

I price up civvies all the time.  If out with a [select] couple of mates & this happens, we compares figures.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  We're not usually that far apart

Everywhere I looked there were gorgeous milfs & young hotties in skimpy swimwear. Even the waitresses in the tavernas were wearing tight shorts & little tops. Of course as I’m looking at them I started pricing them as if they were prossies

Living dangerously.  And i take it only one mobile

This year I have a punt booked for this morning with a milf I’ve seen before, so should be a safe bet. Arranged it all by text last week while sunbathing on the beach with the OH next to me. That was my only bit of excitement for the holiday.

The only things i can think of:

1/ stay somewhere with a spa - then you might get a chance to get tugged off having a massage
2/ stay somewhere busy.  Let the OH have a spa half day or similar.  Say that you want to go exploring - knowing full well where you are going having done some research

Having a car helps.  When i was in the US i said i'd go & get some shopping food & drinks etc - was staying in an apartment rather than a hotel.  Had already scoped out a rub & tug parlour & was in there for 1/2hr.  Planning is needed as whilst on holiday things like cash are more visible to the OH.  So on a visit to a cash point i drew out an extra couple of hundred $ & stashed away.  Not hidden as such - but somewhere where if discovered i could simply say i had the dosh as a back-up

My tip is to go on holiday for a week rather than longer.  Least then you can unload before you go & the same on arriving home within a day or two
On balance the risks of getting caught are magnified on holiday.  Like a 100x.  Not worth the effort.  Gaze at the young burds & milfs, bash one out now & again.  And be thinking of your next punt

[HarryZZ]

Other way around for me, I get plenty at home, for me punting is just an adventure, it's not filling in something that's missing, on holiday the OH is wanting it every day, I'm in my 50s now and I have to knock her back every couple of days because just can't manage it, I don't suppose the late nights and over eating and drinking helps, I always feel like I need another holiday when we get home. I'm in Albania without her next week so if I get chance to punt it really will be filling the void.

[paper7]

Just got back from 2 weeks holiday with the OH. We were on a Greek island, the weather was wonderful & were surrounded by semi clad women on the beach. My problem - the OH turned the tap off years ago, so how do I cope? 

Tried banging one out, but that relief only lasted a few hours & then I was hornier than before. Getting desperate I watched some porn on the iPad, but that didn’t help. Porn promises so much, but for me delivers little.

Everywhere I looked there were gorgeous milfs & young hotties in skimpy swimwear. Even the waitresses in the tavernas were wearing tight shorts & little tops. Of course as I’m looking at them I started pricing them as if they were prossies.

I usually punt every weekend, so it is now 4 weeks since my last punt. Last year when I came home I booked a last minute punt & had a disappointing time. This year I have a punt booked for this morning with a milf I’ve seen before, so should be a safe bet. Arranged it all by text last week while sunbathing on the beach with the OH next to me. That was my only bit of excitement for the holiday.

So my question is how do other guys cope in an enforced no sex holiday?

My wife turned the tap off years ago, 13 to be exact!

[Horizontal pleasures]

Staying in a rented rural cottage with the whole family I would volunteer to go to the nearest town and do the supermarket shopping and manage to plan a punt on the way. I recall a milf near Tesco in Newton Abbot!

No longer possible as kids grown up so just the 2 of us.

[JamesKW]

Have a punt just before the holiday then arrange a periodical GUM test after the holiday,you need a couple of weeks off for accurate test results for most diseases.

[JamesKW]

My wife turned the tap off years ago, 13 to be exact!

Sometimes I don't know whats worse to have it completely turned off or have it sporadically.Its difficult to have bareback with the O/H on impulse without first having a couple of weeks off, a GUM test then another couple of weeks to wait for results(that's how long it takes the NHS nowdays).The last thing you want to do is give the O/H an STI.

[Romeo Sensini]

Sometimes I don't know whats worse to have it completely turned off or have it sporadically.Its difficult to have bareback with the O/H on impulse without first having a couple of weeks off, a GUM test then another couple of weeks to wait for results(that's how long it takes the NHS nowdays).The last thing you want to do is give the O/H an STI.

Isnt this the point of using condoms with the prossies? Am I missing something here?

[webpunter]

Getting noshed off 'without'

Isnt this the point of using condoms with the prossies? Am I missing something here?

[NickA]

Last holiday in the States I tried to book a rub'n'tug while OH and daughter were off on a day trip I'd managed to duck out of. Turned up at the place and found they had no record of my booking. Too long to wait and I'd had to get a cab from the resort to what was a Thai parlour on business estate off a huge freeway.

So I'm stood there with a wallet full of cash, the beginnings of a semi, as I'd popped a pill 40 minutes earlier, in the scorching mid-day sun. Had to walk half a mile along the freeway to a Sun Inn where I was able to pick up a cab. Never felt more conspicuous in my life. Driver asked where I'd been, I fudged the answer, but he'd sussed it - and without asking suggested he could show me a few places I could "get looked after".

I politely declined, left him a good tip, went back to our hotel room, got the OH's body lotion and rubbed one out - for the first time in a week. did the same again twice before her and the daughter returned from their trip, and then spent an evening meal and drinks hoping my partial erection from the pill wasn't too prominent.

Mug's game. Safe it for when you get back

[JamesKW]

Isnt this the point of using condoms with the prossies? Am I missing something here?

Yes but at the parties I go to sometimes condoms break,and some punters try and pull a fast one.

[Mkdng]

Last holiday i told the OH that i was going for a massage just never told her that it was Tantric .. Telling her the half truth is better than telling lies when you return smelling of massage oil..
Its was a proper Tantric to nothing like the crap we get here in the UK

[pewpewpew]

My other half likes to fuck when we're on holiday so usually just close my eyes and imagine the hotties at the beach or the hot waitress from earlier. My girlfriend is a hotty too but you know, variety is the spice of life

[Conker]

If the OH isn't opening her legs for you, why are taking her on holiday especially if its a two week prick teasing fustratathon. In fact I would tell her fuck off because no sex is a deal breaker.

[Sinz]

If the OH isn't opening her legs for you, why are taking her on holiday especially if its a two week prick teasing fustratathon. In fact I would tell her fuck off because no sex is a deal breaker.

Well if everyone did that, no one will be married.

[thor555]

got one week planned next year some time, not expecting much from the OH
Only for one week, but when on holiday i get extra hard on's, must be fit girls and being relaxed!!
Even in my younger days used to have a copy of fhm/GQ or what ever mens magazine that had a hot chick on the front, knock one out making excuse i fogot something in the room/had to go for a dump!!! Then moved to free wifi porn. not to sure what to do on the coming holiday wifi gonna be crap and mens magazines are on decline...
Will have to close my eyes and rely on the wank bank!!

[rndom]

is there a reason why sex is off the books no need to answer its just that if sex is off the books it seems a bit evil to then be teasing when there is no hopes of any action like that but may be its not intentional
ill say get it ou of your system be fore the holiday and during the holiday try your best to give her your attention cause she will notice your suden disapearance on time hat you are meant to be together
and if things arent going anywhere then after the holiday ty solving any issues that may be there
but im just rambling now so

[Jumping Jack Flash]

A surreal conversation with my missus earlier today.

We have been away at Center Parcs for a long weekend and as the sex was turned off several years ago I didn't have any hopes of any action. I've survived on a diet of TCM establishments and SA.

Center Parcs is full of yummy mommies and Posh totty so my radar was active all weekend and my horn had gone through the roof. She went to bed about 10pm last night so I decided to watch some porn on my iPad and knock one out thinking of the horny women I've been lusting over all weekend.

Fast forward to 9am this morning when she asks me "Were you masturbating in the lounge last night?" Naturally I denied it, what man wouldn't? She claimed she walked into the lounge to find me wanking over some teenage porn. In reality she didn't come into the lounge but for a few seconds I felt that I was on the back foot.

She has always had vivid dreams and I was completely confident that she hadn't caught me. But for a few seconds I was really thrown. "Yes I was wanking in the lounge last night but why do you think that is"?

Fucking women and their overactive imaginations!

[Stiltskin]

So it wasn't teenage porn then?

[Conker]

Well if everyone did that, no one will be married.

Why do sane men get married in today society, fuck that, why would I legally sign over half my stuff to her? If my OH stop parting her legs for me then then I will find something younger, prettier and dirtier who will ,simples.

[Sinz]

Why do sane men get married in today society, fuck that, why would I legally sign over half my stuff to her? If my OH stop parting her legs for me then then I will find something younger, prettier and dirtier who will ,simples.

And you think OH parting her legs is the only requirement in a marriage ?

Also,even if OH parts her legs men find something younger, prettier and dirtier it's inevitable

[threechilliman]

And you think OH parting her legs is the only requirement in a marriage ?

Also,even if OH parts her legs men find something younger, prettier and dirtier it's inevitable

 

Well said fella!

[Northernbloke]

So my question is how do other guys cope in an enforced no sex holiday?

How about a bit of self control? It's only a couple of weeks for goodness sake. How would you cope in you got sent down or hospitalised for a few weeks?

[Likesvariety]

And you think OH parting her legs is the only requirement in a marriage ?

It is not the only requirement.

It is a necessary condition, but not a sufficient condition.

[Sinz]

It is not the only requirement.

It is a necessary condition, but not a sufficient condition.

Alright Eminem, thanks for the variety, which has no relevance to the discussion whatsoever.

[JamesKW]

Why do sane men get married in today society, fuck that, why would I legally sign over half my stuff to her? If my OH stop parting her legs for me then then I will find something younger, prettier and dirtier who will ,simples.

Why are you using WGs then,same as rest of us.

[shagmore]

Sure if you know you are going for a reasonable length of time you can do some research on the local area and find the RLD or equivalent, every tourist town/city has prosssies, then go off find, fuck and forget. Until the next time.

[lewisjones23]

Civvie I'm shagging at the minute does these daft games every so often

only thing not on the menu is anal which suits me fine - filthy as anything

going away for the weekend in 2 weeks so has decided theres no action until then - literally for no reason

so 2 options here, try and abstain from anything then hit her with the mother of all facials or have a punt inbetween

still undecided

[Conker]

Why are you using WGs then,same as rest of us.

Look, I'm not pretending to have any moral high ground here. I eat my dinner at home but every now and then I like to eat out at a posh restaurant if you know what I mean.

[shagmore]

Civvie I'm shagging at the minute does these daft games every so often

only thing not on the menu is anal which suits me fine - filthy as anything

going away for the weekend in 2 weeks so has decided theres no action until then - literally for no reason

so 2 options here, try and abstain from anything then hit her with the mother of all facials or have a punt inbetween

still undecided

Have punt before hand (in the first week) then save a weeks worth for the GF 

[Punter115]

Basicly I just have a wank when she is sleeping ....then on my return try and get an escort within a few days of returning.