After an oil massage

[Ozvipa]

Ok so is it just me or is it a hell of a clean up job getting all the oil completely off the member? Or is there a secret way without scrubbing until red raw 

[daviemac]

It's just you, even where there's no shower it wipes off and the residue is absorbed.

[rubric]

Ok so is it just me or is it a hell of a clean up job getting all the oil completely off the member? Or is there a secret way without scrubbing until red raw 

Maybe buy some massage oil that absorbs easily and take it along with you.

[maxxblue]

Ok so is it just me or is it a hell of a clean up job getting all the oil completely off the member? Or is there a secret way without scrubbing until red raw 

Yes, it's called 'having a shower'. 

[daviemac]

Tell her to stop using this. -


Hidden Image/Members Only

[lamboman]

A warm soapy flannel gets rid of the fairly viscous massage wax my sports masseur uses so it should be good enough to clean your cock.

[Ozvipa]

These replies are killing me hahah

[daviemac]

These replies are killing me hahah

I can't believe you have to come onto a punting forum to ask how to wash your cock, are you old enough to be here.   

However as always I recommend you look to official sources for advice. -  External Link/Members Only

Or if you need pictures. - External Link/Members Only

[shed]

Tell her to stop using this. -


Hidden Image/Members Only

Baking soda, soap and water is effective in removing duckhams oil from your cock. Otherwise try Swarfega, available from Amazon 

[Keema]

Grab her panties for a wipe up - they love that so much

[lillythesavage]

This works well on most oils

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Bonker]

Balsamic vinegar, mustard, salt, pepper and a handful of iceberg lettuce leaves.

It won't get the oil off but you can tell the wife you've been out for a healthy meal.

[Thephoenix]

You could ask if she does owo for an extra fiver.

[Ozvipa]

I can't believe you have to come onto a punting forum to ask how to wash your cock, are you old enough to be here.   

However as always I recommend you look to official sources for advice. -  External Link/Members Only

Or if you need pictures. - External Link/Members Only

I wasn’t seriously asking how to clean a cock. Just a lighthearted topic about oils that don’t come off easy. I can’t believe you have actually sent links on how to do it 

[daviemac]

I wasn’t seriously asking how to clean a cock. Just a lighthearted topic about oils that don’t come off easy. I can’t believe you have actually sent links on how to do it 

You are the one who posted on an open punting forum that you didn't know how to do it.   

I've had loads of massages and never had an issue with wiping oil off even without a shower. How come you only have a problem with your cock anyway, how do you get the oil off the rest of your body.   

BTW for the hard of thinking by posting links to show what is supposed to be a grown man how to clean his cock I am taking the piss out of him.

[Ozvipa]

You are the one who posted on an open punting forum that you didn't know how to do it.   

I've had loads of massages and never had an issue with wiping oil off even without a shower. How come you only have a problem with your cock anyway, how do you get the oil off the rest of your body.   

BTW for the hard of thinking by posting links to show what is supposed to be a grown man how to clean his cock I am taking the piss out of him.

Alright well not sure why you’re taking it so seriously and attacking me personally over something which was a daft post to get some funny comments going on the topic. 

[daviemac]

Alright well not sure why you’re taking it so seriously and attacking me personally over something which was a daft post to get some funny comments going on the topic. 

What sort of reaction did you expect when you post on here asking how to clean your cock, are we supposed to be mind reader and know you are not being serious. 

You wouldn't believe what some people ask on here and that's not counting the trolls who only post to get a reaction.

[thor555]

did they massage you with vasaline, i have this issue when i run out of lube and use vasaline

[Ozvipa]

What sort of reaction did you expect when you post on here asking how to clean your cock, are we supposed to be mind reader and know you are not being serious. 

You wouldn't believe what some people ask on here and that's not counting the trolls who only post to get a reaction.

Fair enough, I suppose people don’t know me to know that I’m not being being serious. I was expecting some funny answers and a bit of mick taking but didn’t think it would get serious.

If you have came across these sorts of questions with people genuinely asking how to clean a cock then I understand 😬.

[thor555]

In that case use a jet wash !! 🙂

[Tricky Dickie]

In that case use a jet wash !! 🙂

I doubt the petrol station manager will be happy

[CityTillIDie]

Perhaps call Mummy when you have finished your fantasy and tell her to bring the wet wipes..?
Now do your homework and tidy your room

[Waterhouse]

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Ozvipa]

Balsamic vinegar, mustard, salt, pepper and a handful of iceberg lettuce leaves.

It won't get the oil off but you can tell the wife you've been out for a healthy meal.

This is definitely the best idea hahah

[Hobbit]

Fair enough, I suppose people don’t know me to know that I’m not being being serious. I was expecting some funny answers and a bit of mick taking but didn’t think it would get serious.

If you have came across these sorts of questions with people genuinely asking how to clean a cock then I understand 😬.

It’s not your fault dude. I wouldn’t worry about it. There are many people out there who don’t shower regularly or know how to do it. For example, my neighbour told me the other day that he only showers once a week because it’s too cold and not required every day. Education is the key 

[shed]

It’s not your fault dude. I wouldn’t worry about it. There are many people out there who don’t shower regularly or know how to do it. For example, my neighbour told me the other day that he only showers once a week because it’s too cold and not required every day. Education is the key 

He isn't asking how to shower but how to clean oil off his cock 

[Hobbit]

He isn't asking how to shower but how to clean oil off his cock 

I'm taking the mick. It's called sarcasm. Get a grip. 

[shed]

I'm taking the mick. It's called sarcasm. Get a grip. 

Out of all the sarcastic replies, yours definitely takes the wooden spoon 

[Hobbit]

Out of all the sarcastic replies, yours definitely takes the wooden spoon 

Well, it definitely made you take notice.

[scutty brown]

Ok so is it just me or is it a hell of a clean up job getting all the oil completely off the member? Or is there a secret way without scrubbing until red raw 

What a stupid question.
It's what curtains are for, everybody knows that

[webpunter]

There must be a spelling mistake, for what this gets rid of 

Hidden Image/Members Only

Hidden Image/Members Only

[webpunter]

Suggest you pop down your local BP garage
Oily knob hanging out
Ask them how they got rid of [some of the] 130 million gallons of oil spilled @ Deepwater Horizon
That certainly was some hell of a clean up job, yours should be much easier
Other than for you being a bell end 

Ok so is it just me or is it a hell of a clean up job getting all the oil completely off

Edit: ooops, nearly forgot to ask.  Did you take your socks off ?

[Straightsix]

Ok so is it just me or is it a hell of a clean up job getting all the oil completely off the member? Or is there a secret way without scrubbing until red raw 

Soap your cock, have a wank and then rinse off. Guaranteed to remove the oil and gland secretions although this isn't something you should do regularly.
I do have to scrub the shower cubicle when hot oil is used but no issues with baby oil.

[pantywetter]

I would like more massages, but I always worry the Mrs will smell the oil on me. It seems to take a day or two of showers to feel like the oil has totally gone.

[webpunter]

You could ponder taking up swimming, telling the OH you want to get fit
Go to whichever pool it is & don't go punting the 1st few times
Sets things up that your OH knows that you are going swimming etc
Then you can start doing it after oily massage sessions
Being in the pool / chlorine etc + another shower after will remove all traces of oil
Dunno what it is but women seem to have a better sense of smell that blokes, so if your OH pays attention then a safety 1st approach as above might be worth it
Instead of swimming you can also do a gym sessions as the sweating / shower should get rid of any lingering smell
Plus you can legitimitely use deodorant after the gym / swim

I would like more massages, but I always worry the Mrs will smell the oil on me. It seems to take a day or two of showers to feel like the oil has totally gone.

[Thephoenix]

I would like more massages, but I always worry the Mrs will smell the oil on me. It seems to take a day or two of showers to feel like the oil has totally gone.

They must wonder where a whole bottle of shower gell and shampoo's gone when I've had my shower after a punt.

[pantywetter]

Swimming is a good idea.  I do actually go swimming so it could be a good out as chlorine stinks.

UKP delivers!

[Fuzzyduck]

They must wonder where a whole bottle of shower gell and shampoo's gone when I've had my shower after a punt.

I've noticed that the shower gel in massage places tends to be neutral smelling or more traditionally masculine (pine, citrus) whereas SPs go for more exotic types, like lavender, rosemary and wild rose. A girl at work noticed I smelt different after I'd come back from a lunchtime punt. I had to bluff my way out of that.

[Straightsix]

A girl at work noticed I smelt different after I'd come back from a lunchtime punt. I had to bluff my way out of that.

She's obviously pays you attention. Is she hot?

[Fuzzyduck]

She's obviously pays you attention. Is she hot?

Not a babe but she always looks good. Cracking pair of tits and we get on well. There's a sense of Christmas Party destiny about it. 
 

[scutty brown]

Not a babe but she always looks good. Cracking pair of tits and we get on well. There's a sense of Christmas Party destiny about it. 

You should tell her the truth and see if she'd like like to earn some cash

[norwichfunseeker]

Not a babe but she always looks good. Cracking pair of tits and we get on well. There's a sense of Christmas Party destiny about it. 

Look forward to the review! 

[webpunter]

 

Swimming is a good idea.  I do actually go swimming so it could be a good out as chlorine stinks.

UKP delivers!

[Straightsix]

Not a babe but she always looks good. Cracking pair of tits and we get on well. There's a sense of Christmas Party destiny about it. 

Get drunk and tell her the real reason you smelt different....you never know.

[Fuzzyduck]

Get drunk and tell her the real reason you smelt different....you never know.

I'm so happy you guys have got my back. I might try a different approach and invite her to see if she likes how I smell on the night.

[webpunter]

6+ pints of nelson + a madras & the faint whiff of johnsons will be all but gorne

If the OH knows that you are gonna snore & fart your way thru the night then you could be banished to the spare room 

A decent night sleep, diddly chance of her smelling johnsons

& as an added bonus there's the opportunity to tug one out thinking of the session which has just happened 

Get drunk and tell her the real reason you smelt different....you never know.

[Straightsix]

I'm so happy you guys have got my back. I might try a different approach and invite her to see if she likes how I smell on the night.

What is it with you? Stop messing about. Take your willy out and shake it in her face. If it goes wrong just blame it on the alcohol and publicly apologise to everyone. But if it goes right?...it's a beautiful thing!

[Fuzzyduck]

What is it with you? Stop messing about. Take your willy out and shake it in her face. If it goes wrong just blame it on the alcohol and publicly apologise to everyone. But if it goes right?...it's a beautiful thing!

I bow to your ninja skills at pulling women. You must be beating them off with a shitty stick.

[Straightsix]

I bow to your ninja skills at pulling women. You must be beating them off with a shitty stick.

Only after some anal 😄👍