Punting injuries

[SirFrank]

Has anyone ever sustained an injury (not an std) while punting? I once bruised my hammerhead doing anal. Tight didn't come close to how tight her arse was. I really didn't last long and the following morning it looked like I'd caught my bellend in the door. I was out of action for a while after that.

The most embarrassing tho was doing my back in while doing a very elaborate pile driver. It was about 10 years ago and literally my lower back pinged while on the vinegar strokes. I felt like a complete cunt and was like someone tripping over - ie I'm ok didn't hurt etc. I ended walking out of there like Keizer sousay

[smiths]

Has anyone ever sustained an injury (not an std) while punting? I once bruised my hammerhead doing anal. Tight didn't come close to how tight her arse was. I really didn't last long and the following morning it looked like I'd caught my bellend in the door. I was out of action for a while after that.

The most embarrassing tho was doing my back in while doing a very elaborate pile driver. It was about 10 years ago and literally my lower back pinged while on the vinegar strokes. I felt like a complete cunt and was like someone tripping over - ie I'm ok didn't hurt etc. I ended walking out of there like Keizer sousay

I have pulled a muscle in my back and got friction burns on my cock which i sorted out by using Lube particularly Maximus and Pjur that i have in my punting bag in case the WG has Durex Play Tingle, well that didnt tingle my cock, it felt like it was burning it off.

[DaveMugabe]

Heard about someone dying mid-stroke - does that count?

[Ali Katt]

I once had really sore calf and thigh muscles the morning after from kneeling down to fuck a girl in doggy. I also noticed I had bite marks and scratches on my arms, chest and back; yes it was a great punt.

I've had the dreaded dick breaker were I was fucking a girl in doggy and I pulled out by accident tried to stick it back in missed and nearly broke my cock on her arse cheek. When the girl comes off in cowgirl it is another dick breaker.

[dilettante]

Not punting (though have been paying her enough in child maintenance for the last x years to fund a lavish punting lifestyle) but I snapped the is it called 'frenulum' so I've got a little bit of string 'hanging off' - though I've read in a Viz "Sid the Sexist" one jibing another that "his virgin string is still intact" so I suspect it could be a common injury or even just par for the course?

[myothernameis]

I once had really sore calf and thigh muscles the morning after from kneeling down to fuck a girl in doggy.

I was fucking this escort, doggy style, and all of a sudden I got really bad cramp in both legs, poor girl nearly freaked out, but 10 min later I was ok

[Corus Boy]

Doing doggy in the ladies lounge, I got some bad carpet burns on my knees!

Pulled a few calf muscles.

[Tjkooker]

Badly bruised cock after some over the top face fucking.

[mr-oraltastic]

Visited a lady in Leicester and we lay, post-shag, chatting when the subject of dogs came up. I love dogs and she told me that her Staffie Cross was in the next room so I said let her in, I knelt down (still naked) to stroke her and she jumped up and left a 5" bright red scratch diagonally accross my chest ... wore a T-Shirt in bed at home for the next few days till it faded

[CBPaul]

Got accidentally kneed in the balls when a WG was attempting to be alluring when climbing on top, very awkward at home that evening - trying not to wince every time I sat down.

I've also done for my Frenulum, but with a girlfriend rather than a WG. Wasn't so much the pain but the sight of a bit of blood on my nob freaked me out.

[Zeusthedoc]

once (actually twice) slapped myself in the balls.....

cowgirl - and I was spanking her...
cocked the hand back for an almighty hit, but mis-timed it!

needed a breather (both times) - but soldiered on through!

[TheDoctor]

Got a massive love bite once from a girl on her first booking who got a bit carried away. They don't look great on middle aged men, but thankfully since I was single there were no other consequences.

[Curious6705]

The swing door at the old LMP venue slammed shut on my finger. Doc thought it was broken, but it was just badly bruised.

[DaveMugabe]

The swing door at the old LMP venue slammed shut on my finger. Doc thought it was broken, but it was just badly bruised.

thats not whilst punting

[Curious6705]

thats not whilst punting

Of course it was. You think I was there to read the meter?

[SirFrank]

Not punting (though have been paying her enough in child maintenance for the last x years to fund a lavish punting lifestyle) but I snapped the is it called 'frenulum' so I've got a little bit of string 'hanging off' - though I've read in a Viz "Sid the Sexist" one jibing another that "his virgin string is still intact" so I suspect it could be a common injury or even just par for the course?

one of my best mates did his 'banjo string' in when we were younger. we were on a boys holiday and he picked some skank up and nobbed her at her gaff. he came back to where we were staying covered in blood. I thought he'd been stabbed. few days later he developed crabs! she'd obviously been round the track a few times. sorry to hear about the child maintenance mate - it seems we always pay in some way...

[Captain Kang]

My first, but not the first time with her... She once dug all her nails in my back. 
Years later another girl grazed my bell end with her teeth.
And an adventurous position with a larger lady gave me a mild double hernia. Ouch.

[DaveMugabe]

Of course it was. You think I was there to read the meter?

  What I meant was you werent shagging at that time you could have sustained the injury anywhere.

btw what was the reading for the gas?

[Curious6705]

  What I meant was you werent shagging at that time you could have sustained the injury anywhere.

I was punting. Anyway, pantomime season is almost over. Enough of this nonsense.

[Chinadoll]

Was punting half drunk a while back when i annoyed the WG because i kept changing positions (getting dizzy) and eventually ended up doing doggie. After i found her a bit rude i cudn't stand her face and the moaning no more, so i banged her so hard, whilst pulling her hair and shoulders just to stay up straight, i even did the cockbreaker too pulling out too far and slamming my dick into her asshole which she didn't enjoy and finished with her shortly afterwards. I achieved bruising either side of my cock and upper thighs. Next morning was a killer cuz what seems like a hit body at the time was actually a really petite size 6-8 oriental girl with no ass and a pointy ass bones.

[dilettante]

... sorry to hear about the child maintenance mate - it seems we always pay in some way...

Thanks but I'd rather you said, "Congrats on having such wonderful offspring" (not being specific on here for obvious reasons!)

[Ali Katt]

Has anyone else had the jelly cock I got it by a woman giving a rough handjob. Half of my penis swelled due to fluid retention, it went down the next day after I passed a watery discharge.

[dilettante]

Has anyone else had the jelly cock I got it by a woman giving a rough handjob. Half of my penis swelled due to fluid retention, it went down the next day after I passed a watery discharge.

That sounds like the man called Maclean who invented a wanking machine? (on the 69th stroke the bl00dy thing broke and whipped up his goolies to cream, if you heard about it at the time?)

[Urfi]

My first, but not the first time with her... She once dug all her nails in my back. 
Years later another girl grazed my bell end with her teeth.
And an adventurous position with a larger lady gave me a mild double hernia. Ouch.

I read a review on %%% a few years ago where some poor sod booked a so called beauty and arrived to find a fat-tat monster. He elected to just go for a nosh for £25, which obviously pissed the brass off. During oral she shoved a sharp fingernail up his arse and bit his bell end, both of which bled profusely. I recall it was a negative review.

[sumertime]

Begining of 2013 [as a novice] a Romanian WG slipped a condom on too soon. After a few vigerous moment it was far too tight and nearly strangled me!! I noticed on showering that my poor old fella had sore patches and a little split!!  Had to rest for a few weeks.....
                   
               

[myothernameis]

Im single no current girl friend, but anyone here who has a wife or girl friend, when you injured your self, how did you explain it to her

[herbie007]

I was messing around with a girl once when she put one end of my tie round my cock and tied the other end round her ankle telling me I was all hers and I wouldn’t be able to escape, someone knocked on the door and she jumped of the bed nearly ripping my cock off, my dick was so sore I couldn’t shag for 2 weeks.

[Ali Katt]

Begining of 2013 [as a novice] a Romanian WG slipped a condom on too soon. After a few vigerous moment it was far too tight and nearly strangled me!! I noticed on showering that my poor old fella had sore patches and a little split!!  Had to rest for a few weeks.....
                   
               

Believe it or not that happened to me the condom was really small and I mean they would even be small for Mr Average. It left a ring mark a bit like when you wrap an elastic band around your finger. It was also with a Romanian.

[wristjob]

I had one years ago that kept me out of everything for years - don't want to go into that though.

More recently about 2 years ago I had a girl who was giving me oral that was just painful - I had to tell her to be more gentle and she wasn't really taking much notice. Next day I had red scrapes down my end from her teeth, took about a week or so to sort out. I had a very casual thing on/off thing going on bac then - if it had been more serious I'd have been in shit.

[ATMIV]

No painful injuries from punting but on many occasion I've come away from a punt with my cock looking as if it's gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. Bruised, marked with what appears to be small love bites - all from very very enjoyable oral - cock doesn't hurt just needs to be hidden for a couple if days!

Now a snapped banjo string nearly 30 years ago with the OH!

Now that still brings tears to my eyes!!!!! As does burning the base of my cock with veet..... Talk about stinging!!!!!

[cueball]

Now a snapped banjo string nearly 30 years ago with the OH!

Yep, I've had that with a civvie ex years ago, didn't hurt whilst podging but fuckin stung like a bastard after.

[threechilliman]

Heard about someone dying mid-stroke - does that count?

Happened to somebody I knew who was having an affair. He died in CG. Not sure whether his Mrs found out or not

tcm

[george r]

was in a parlour once which had a cubicle type shower in the room and cut my head on the shower cubicle door frame going in !! bled like mad for ages !!  took some explaining when I got home ..

[ATMIV]

Mine snapped during foreplay!

Hadn't seen the OH for some time - booked a hotel room, stocked it with chocolates, flowers and champagne for a romantic evening

Picked her up from the train station back to the hotel for the fun to begin.

Rolling about the bed in just our underwear grinding our groins together when I noticed my pants wear covered in blood - thought initially it was her period but on pulling my pants down saw the horrific sight of my boner spurting blood from its banjo string!!!!

Thankfully I immediately lost my boner and the spurting subsided to a trickle and ended up running a bath to soothe my poor fella!!

FUCK ME!!! I shot out of that bath like a scalded cat - it stung like fuck!

My romantic evening was in tatters! Including my cock!!!!!

Went to bed with a pair of underpants tied around my knob to act as a bandage incase my morning glory caused more spurting!!!

Took me 3 weeks to pluck up the courage to have a wank and even then I could only bring myself to wank very carefully with my index finger and thumb

It must be the only time I've given myself a shit wank!!

[cueball]

horrific sight of my boner spurting blood from its banjo string!!!!



FUCK ME!!! I shot out of that bath like a scalded cat - it stung like fuck!



Went to bed with a pair of underpants tied around my knob to act as a bandage incase my morning glory caused more spurting!!!

Took me 3 weeks to pluck up the courage to have a wank and even then I could only bring myself to wank very carefully with my index finger and thumb

It must be the only time I've given myself a shit wank!!

Ha ha ha ha, that's bringing toe curling memories back, the first wank after you think you've healed is like a journey of nervous discovery.

[HappyandLucky]

I have experienced punting injuries both ways. On me it was doing a 2 girl a few years back. Both girls had been drinking but one was particularly drunk. One giving me a bj and the other started licking and sucking my balls. Suddenly the lashed one bit my bollock really hard. Eye watering can't describe it enough. The other WG went mental and a mini punch up almost kicked off between them. JAWS was asked to leave and I eventually recovered enough to salvage a fuck session.
On the flip side I was going hammer and tongs with a WG's legs over my shoulders, deep long thrusts in and totally out. The angle of the dangle changed as she moved her arse about and she got an unwanted and unwelcome full on drive up her arse.  Poor girl was unfortunately in agony. Punt over as I was worried for her and she layed in a ball for 10 mins. We live and learn.