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Author Topic: Traumatised by a punt but not the service providers fault.  (Read 2320 times)

cognito

  • Guest
I haven't logged onto the forum for several months now due to an incident that happened at the time of my last punt. It has put me off punting since it happened. I hope time sorts this issue out for me.

I booked a 90 min session with a service provider in the Stoke-on-Trent area several months back (possibly 4 or 5). I turned up on time and was waiting for final directions to the premises when I received a phone call from work informing me that someone who works with me (on a different team but we interact at meetings several times a week) had met with a serious accident. This was a young lady who wasn't really a personal friend but was someone whom I liked and respected as a colleague. She was involved in a car crash which left her on life support paralysed from the neck down, her husband who was in the car also was on life support in a different hospital with severe internal injuries and her two children were both killed.

Even though she wasn't a personal friend of mine this news affected me really badly. I was in a position where I couldn't back out of the punt but I felt like shite for actually going ahead. I did not mention any of this to the service provider who was quite pleasant and probably someone whose company I would have enjoyed in other circumstances.  I had a  handjob 69 and a half-hearted attempt at sex which I gave up within a short time. Needless to say it was a far from satisfactory punt for me and if I am guessing correctly the service provider felt that I was a bit strange and uncommunicative.

I haven't had a punt since then. I hope that a new year and a new start might help me move on. Perhaps a massage with HE or something similar. I don't know if there is any value in writing a review of the punt. It wasn't really the service provider who ruined it  after all.

Any friendly words of advice from anyone who has been through a similar situation?

Offline OakTree

Sorry, tragic as this is for those people, why has this put you off punting? Yeah sure I can imagine at the time receiving such news may well put a downer on a punt but to affect your punting so much time later is odd, especially as she was merely a work colleague.

Has this incident affected other aspects of your life?

Offline MrMatrix

Was this accident on the M5 by chance?
On the day I can understand it would destablise your equilibrium. My mind would have been distracted as well.
But the story in some way serves that we have to make the most of it whilst we have the chance.
Sorry it affected you like this OP and I wouldnt do a review in this case either  :hi:

Offline Spacecowb0y

You were in a position to back out. Any service provider would have understood, and if she didn't, half the booking fee would have placated her.

As to renewed punting activity, start with a  short time appointment or maybe a sexy massage. Time always help to dull the pain ime .


Offline itk

Sorry, tragic as this is for those people, why has this put you off punting? Yeah sure I can imagine at the time receiving such news may well put a downer on a punt but to affect your punting so much time later is odd, especially as she was merely a work colleague.

Has this incident affected other aspects of your life?

Have to agree with the above, not sure why this is affecting you not wanting to punt anymore. To me it’s a reason to enjoy yourself, as none of us now what’s around the corner

Online Billy no mates

Sounds terrible, any news as to if the parents made some sort of physical recovery ?
I imagine they will never emotionally recover.

Esclar

  • Guest
Not had the same experience, but I guess I might know a little about trauma.

You're probably doing a good thing by talking about it - it's not a good think to talk about all trauma's publicly, but in this case it should help to make the trauma external, especially from the safety of an anonymous ID.

There's no rational reason why you should feel shite for going ahead with the punt. Nothing you could have done different that would have made things any better for your colleage.  This must be obvious to you, but maybe it helps for someone else to say it.

There was probably a collection doing the office rounds after the accident. If you was away or missed it for any other reason, maybe ask for a way to get in touch with her or her husband and say you've been thinking about them, and would it help if you sent a wee gift, is there anything they need? As they don't know you that well they'll probably say no,but 99% likely they will appreciate the gesture, and should make you feel better too.

Like others, I'd not expect this to be the long lasting sort of trauma - if you take a bit of extra care to ensure you book a good SP, your next punt should be fine. Maybe chose whatever sort of punt is most likely to make you come, or which you're more relaxed with, whether that's massage/HE , FS or whatever.

Happy punting!

Heyarnold01

  • Guest
I was in a position where I couldn't back out of the punt

What a load of shite!  You couldn't back out of the punt?!?  Why not?  If you were that deeply affected by it then the last thing you'd have been thinking about was getting your willy wet!  Any human being with a scrap of decency would have understood and if the WG in question had been difficult about you cancelling, I'm sure she'd have come round once the seriousness of the accident came to light.

Two poor kids lost their lives in a terrible accident, their families must have been devastated, and you are simply trying to gain some sort of weird sympathy off the back of it!

Heyarnold01

  • Guest

Any friendly words of advice from anyone who has been through a similar situation?

And who in the name of fuck is going to have been through a similar situation?!?

Esclar

  • Guest
Quote
What a load of shite!  You couldn't back out of the punt?!?  Why not?

I see literally 2 seconds after I said it might help to talk about it publicly,  Im proved wrong!

He felt he couldn't back out at the time, probably he didn't immediately process the emotional impact of the news.  Going through with the punt was obviously the wrong call in the cold light of day, few of us see things that clearly at the time, when life is  hitting us in the face. 

Not going to post more on this thread as I don't like cyber rows,  just my opinion.

Offline Ramone78

What a load of shite!  You couldn't back out of the punt?!?  Why not?  If you were that deeply affected by it then the last thing you'd have been thinking about was getting your willy wet!  Any human being with a scrap of decency would have understood and if the WG in question had been difficult about you cancelling, I'm sure she'd have come round once the seriousness of the accident came to light.

Two poor kids lost their lives in a terrible accident, their families must have been devastated, and you are simply trying to gain some sort of weird sympathy off the back of it!

+1 Absolute attention seeker , Couldn't back out of the Punt ? Why ??
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 10:26:27 am by Ramone78 »

Offline CharlieDong

What a load of shite!  You couldn't back out of the punt?!?  Why not?  If you were that deeply affected by it then the last thing you'd have been thinking about was getting your willy wet!  Any human being with a scrap of decency would have understood and if the WG in question had been difficult about you cancelling, I'm sure she'd have come round once the seriousness of the accident came to light.

Two poor kids lost their lives in a terrible accident, their families must have been devastated, and you are simply trying to gain some sort of weird sympathy off the back of it!

Couldn’t back out & still went through with it.... what sort of sympathy are you actually looking for here...?

Offline Plan R

The power of association.
Given that sex is also an intense (and can be emotional), experience, it's clear to see how a persons brain could do some quick
on-the-spot rewiring of associations in the circumstances you describe. Quickly forming a strong link of one intense event and state, with the other.
No doubt there is some ancient (probably survival related) reason why we are hard wired to link events and emotional states in this way.

To dilute the association maybe try going for a couple of massages?
Where there is no pressure to perform.
The main point being to dilute the association in a relaxed environment.


 

Offline Plan R

What a load of shite!  You couldn't back out of the punt?!?  Why not?  If you were that deeply affected by it then the last thing you'd have been thinking about was getting your willy wet!  Any human being with a scrap of decency would have understood and if the WG in question had been difficult about you cancelling, I'm sure she'd have come round once the seriousness of the accident came to light.
Two poor kids lost their lives in a terrible accident, their families must have been devastated, and you are simply trying to gain some sort of weird sympathy off the back of it!

Hey Arnold - have you ever considered a career in the caring professions ?  :lol:  :hi:

Offline pewpewpew

You were in a position to back out. Any service provider would have understood, and if she didn't, half the booking fee would have placated her.
Half the money? Either just walk away or text her saying you can't make it. Fuck what she thinks

Can't see how this would put you off punting though. Put you off driving maybe but this incident had nothing to do with punting

Offline scutty brown

go out, get pissed, have a cry.

Next day pull your head together and get on with life: you've got another 40 years or so to go and you won't survive it by experiencing someone else's pain. They don't need it and won't thank you for it.

johndoeyy

  • Guest
Another snowflake wanting a cuddle

Offline Happyjose

What a load of shite!  You couldn't back out of the punt?!?  Why not?  If you were that deeply affected by it then the last thing you'd have been thinking about was getting your willy wet!  Any human being with a scrap of decency would have understood and if the WG in question had been difficult about you cancelling, I'm sure she'd have come round once the seriousness of the accident came to light.

Two poor kids lost their lives in a terrible accident, their families must have been devastated, and you are simply trying to gain some sort of weird sympathy off the back of it!

This


Offline winkywanky

Sad to see some of the frankly nasty, gormless and pointless comments from some here.

As is so often the case in all areas of life, if you have nothing constructive to say, why not just keep your ignorant 'opinion' to yourself and shut the holy fuck up? And no, I don't think it's tough love for a fellow-punter.

Back to the matter in hand cognito, as a couple of (more thoughtful) others have stated, you now associate punting with what happened that day, and it's making you feel guilty over what happened to your work colleague. With the benefit of hindsight I have no doubt you wish you hadn't gone ahead with your punt. And even if you were a regular and felt you didn't want to let her down or mess up a good regular thing by potentially pissing her off, she should have understood. And if she didn't, tough on her, her loss. As you rightly surmise, no point in posting up a review either, since it'd be totally overshadowed by the awful news you received just beforehand.

As you yourself said, perhaps get back into the swing of things gently, perhaps with a massage. And probably at a place where they do 'proper' massage with just the possibility of extras if you ask. That way, no pressure on you - if you're in the mood for nothing more, then don't say anything as you lie back and enjoy the relaxation. Just see what comes up  ;).

Offline peter purves

I haven't logged onto the forum for several months now due to an incident that happened at the time of my last punt. It has put me off punting since it happened. I hope time sorts this issue out for me.

I booked a 90 min session with a service provider in the Stoke-on-Trent area several months back (possibly 4 or 5). I turned up on time and was waiting for final directions to the premises when I received a phone call from work informing me that someone who works with me (on a different team but we interact at meetings several times a week) had met with a serious accident. This was a young lady who wasn't really a personal friend but was someone whom I liked and respected as a colleague. She was involved in a car crash which left her on life support paralysed from the neck down, her husband who was in the car also was on life support in a different hospital with severe internal injuries and her two children were both killed.

Even though she wasn't a personal friend of mine this news affected me really badly. I was in a position where I couldn't back out of the punt but I felt like shite for actually going ahead. I did not mention any of this to the service provider who was quite pleasant and probably someone whose company I would have enjoyed in other circumstances.  I had a  handjob 69 and a half-hearted attempt at sex which I gave up within a short time. Needless to say it was a far from satisfactory punt for me and if I am guessing correctly the service provider felt that I was a bit strange and uncommunicative.

I haven't had a punt since then. I hope that a new year and a new start might help me move on. Perhaps a massage with HE or something similar. I don't know if there is any value in writing a review of the punt. It wasn't really the service provider who ruined it  after all.

Any friendly words of advice from anyone who has been through a similar situation?

Sorry to hear mate!

Sounds like there is an issue around punting, guilt and linking it to the accident/death, presumably as a way to stop you from punting.  :unknown:

Any thoughts?
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 03:47:58 pm by peter purves »
Banned reason: Can't / won't take advice.
Banned by: daviemac

cognito

  • Guest
I don't want to engage in a cyber argument but I'll clarify a few points and refrain from posting on this thread anymore.

1. If I was seeking attention / sympathy, I would have posted fresh after the incident. I did / do not seek this.

2. I didn't back out because it would have seemed like a story I concocted to make a last minute escape because I lost my nerve.

   Secondly, at the time my thought process was ''I've spent a lot of time and effort arranging this and getting here and I don't want to waste it''. There was a lot of anticipation on my part in the run up to the booking - my dick was doing some of the thinking. In retrospect, I was wrong. I underestimated the effect it would have on me. The person involved was just an acquaintance at work so I initially presumed it would be like any other piece of bad news. The effect slowly sank in and being able to put a face to the news of an entire family being destroyed is what I found / still find uncomfortable.

3. I think Peter Purves and Plan R might have a point. I have struggled with the guilt of cheating on my wife and perhaps the timing of this event just stirred up and reinforced issues lurking in the background.

Thanks for all positive contributions. They have given me thoughts to reflect on. I am going to abandon any further involvement with this thread as opinions are clearly very polarised. That never allows for a healthy discussion. Good evening gentlemen.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 04:14:23 pm by cognito »

Offline Ramone78

I don't want to engage in a cyber argument but I'll clarify a few points and refrain from posting on this thread anymore.

1. If I was seeking attention / sympathy, I would have posted fresh after the incident. I did / do not seek this.

2. I didn't back out because it would have seemed like a story I concocted to make a last minute escape because I lost my nerve.

   Secondly, at the time my thought process was ''I've spent a lot of time and effort arranging this and getting here and I don't want to waste it''. There was a lot of anticipation on my part in the run up to the booking - my dick was doing some of the thinking. In retrospect, I was wrong. I underestimated the effect it would have on me. The person involved was just an acquaintance at work so I initially presumed it would be like any other piece of bad news. The effect slowly sank in and being able to put a face to the news of an entire family being destroyed is what I found / still find uncomfortable.

3. I think Peter Purves and Plan R might have a point. I have struggled with the guilt of cheating on my wife and perhaps the timing of this event just stirred up and reinforced issues lurking in the background.

Thanks for all positive contributions. They have given me thoughts to reflect on. I am going to abandon any further involvement with this thread as opinions are clearly very polarised. That never allows for a healthy discussion. Good evening gentlemen.

I guess Punting is just not for you ...

Offline Bogof60

go out, get pissed, have a cry.

Next day pull your head together and get on with life: you've got another 40 years or so to go and you won't survive it by experiencing someone else's pain. They don't need it and won't thank you for it.

This
I lost a good friend last year
Killed doing our job and fairly messy too
Thankfully I did not have to see it but others did
Made me think about my own mortality but then he would not have wanted me to be crying in my beer
So just get on and enjoy the only life you have
Life is not short
Its the longest thing you will ever do so enjoy it
Banned reason: Abuse of a mod.
Banned by: daviemac

JV547845

  • Guest
You're either a complete fucking idiot and you should've cancelled, or you have some insane relationship with your adultwork profile or sense of honour towards the nation's so so delicate WGs who are so in need of your protection, because cancelling a booking is so worse on them, than a traumatic event is on you, which even though it didn't affect anyone close to you, would take any normal human a period of time to process to recover from.  Prick

Why'd you even think you still wanted to shag some one and keep a hard on after hearing news like that you twat?

Grow up moron, save yourself some money and just cancel.

johndoeyy

  • Guest
Next we will be discussing flower arranging and PMT on here.
Man up and move on with life.

Offline Drayki

Should of just cancelled the punt if you were to upset, who gives a fuck about the whore you were going to fuck? obviously you were otherwise youd of walked :dash:

Offline jeanphillipe

You know the specifics of the accident potentialy identify you... why would you post this level of detail  :dash: