Quickest way to remove the smell of pussy from your face?

[JV547845]

Soap and hot water in a sink and a good chin wash? 

I just wanted to double check my methods with you pros.  I like to use a punt to break up a long drive before I eventually, after much driving, see someone who I wouldn't want to suspect I've had sex en route, let alone a punt. 

Last time when it counted I just had a post punt McDonalds.  Those dear to me only smelled Big Mac.

[Stealthshagger]

a proper soap and water wash. As long as the soap has hydrophillic and hydrophobic ends it should remove juices. make sure facial hair is washed properly too, and I suggest washing your mouth to avoid tuna tongue.  Scented things are also give-aways I imagine.  being thorough should do the job. Washing products for greasy hair or the like work very well. washing with warm water not cold makes a difference.

Shit soaps etc do a bad job of removing non water soluble suspensions or solutions, so wont remove the source of the smell.

[JV547845]

Thankyou for your excellent advice but Jesus this shit is more complicated than I thought.

[Mancspunter]

Those little bottles of alcoholic anti-bacterial hand cleanser are pretty good even if you cant get access to soap and water it will make sure you get rid of any hangers on 
I keep one in my glovebox incase I cant have a wash straight afterwards for any reason. Can even get really small ones that will fit in your jeans pocket, and due to the high alcohol content will air dry in seconds

[Stealthshagger]

Those little bottles of alcoholic anti-bacterial hand cleanser are pretty good even if you cant get access to soap and water it will make sure you get rid of any hangers on 
I keep one in my glovebox incase I cant have a wash straight afterwards for any reason. Can even get really small ones that will fit in your jeans pocket.

anti bacterial is a great call, it removes the odour source.

[Sparquin]

Yes a quick mouth and chin wash usually does the trick, but use warm water rather than cold.

I am reminded of a story of Lou Pai who was an Enron exec with a penchant for strippers. He used to make sure he visited a petrol station when going home after his exploits and deliberately spilt some on his hands to make sure his wife was none the wiser.  Mind you, look what happened to Enron.......

[JV547845]

Those little bottles of alcoholic anti-bacterial hand cleanser are pretty good even if you cant get access to soap and water

Awesome tip, thanks.  I'll look into stocking up.

[Mancspunter]

Awesome tip, thanks.  I'll look into stocking up.

No worries, Just don't put it on your dick 

[LL]

Eat a kebab 

[G-style]

A tuna kebab 

[threechilliman]

Eat a kebab 

I wouldn't want a second quite so soon...

tcm

[LL]

I wouldn't want a second quite so soon...

tcm

But the second one comes with chilli sauce - which should be right up your street.

[CBPaul]

Moving on from a kebab (or a nice chicken madras ?), I use decent quality wet wipes first, not just on the face but also downstairs. After a vigorous lunchtime session with a gf once I was emitting the unmistakable smell of sex each time I sat down for a couple of hours, a few knowing looks and grins in the afternoon but not much harm done - has made me very wary ever since though.

The beauty of wet wipes is that they are great at cleaning all sorts of things and can be stored in the car without raising suspicion. People think I'm a fucking genius for keeping a pack in the glove box  . Alcohol had gel works a treat too, just watch out for sensitive skin, it can end up looking raw for a bit.

[threechilliman]

But the second one comes with chilli sauce - which should be right up your street.

 

tcm

[Captain Kang]

Improvising here, wet wipes with a splash of mouthwash seems to be quite effective. 

[threechilliman]

Improvising here, wet wipes with a splash of mouthwash seems to be quite effective.

I'm assuming wet wipes are of the unfragranced variety? Some of the fragranced ones can be smelt from approximately 3 miles away.

tcm

[sixtyten]

Muc-Off Dry Shower, no water or towel needed and comes in a 50ml bottle. Small and does the job.

[Horizontal pleasures]

Yes, a good wash as above but also:

I like an aluminium-free deodorant called Bionsen not only for underarm but down below, before and after even if washed. I keep it in the glove box for use even when not punting so no surprises.

I often eat a fruit such as an easy peeler clementine after that which refreshes the breath and face.

[LL]

Muc-Off Dry Shower, no water or towel needed and comes in a 50ml bottle. Small and does the job.

Blimey do you punt with mud-wrestlers? 

[charming_red]

You must eating some pretty bad pussy if theres still an odour afterwards.

I didn't realise the smell could be that bad 

[Captain Kang]

I'm assuming wet wipes are of the unfragranced variety? Some of the fragranced ones can be smelt from approximately 3 miles away.

tcm

Unfragranced, goes without saying. This old dog does retain an acute sense of smell.