Simran Indian Busty -Everything Wrong With This One Simply Awful - Stratford E15

[Phaedrus]

External Link/Members Only

Background
I’ve seen this one before. In her previous incarnation she was known as Indian Punjabi Kuri. She was a poor quality service provider then and she’s still poor quality.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=85954.0
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=16789.msg261225
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=110563.msg1288318#msg1288318
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=16789.msg261207#msg261207

Comms, Location and Price

Comms: Good, she picked up the phone, we agreed a time but not a booking length. Sorted the rest out on my arrival in Stratford.
Location: A hotel in Stratford
Price: £80.00 wasted for 30 mins

The Service Provider
The last time I saw her, it was a few years ago, also in Stratford. I didn’t recognise her at first as she has lost a lot of weight and is down to a size 10 so she looks a a lot better than last time where a previous reviewer described her as:

I decided to take the plunge before xmas even though she sounded a bit rude over the phone.got there and she was small and a bit porky.not remotely attractive in my eyes. Definitely not worth 80 for half hour. I walked and she cursed me on the way out. One my better decisions.

So body size is down to a nice 10, and she’s lost her sloshy belly, thanks to her milkshakes, she now has a nice shapely body and pleasant oval shaped face, with large eyes if 5/10 is average then she is a 6.5/10. Being Punjabi, facially she looks more European than Indian except that she has brown skin but it is not a nice colour, more like someone has painted her with a tar brush. She has large pendulous breasts DD. She has large pretty eyes which had Kajal around it. She claims to be 24 but I would say that she is in her late 20’s.

She has a “gangsta rude girl” accent and sounds like a south london British born “Yaardie”. Dat is bait, innit bruv, mon says come fuck me but I don’t give him bare time” I saw her civvies clothes hung over a chair which was a designer tracksuit and trainers. The whole outfit was probably bought in JD Sport.

The Service

This is her speciality where she reveals what a poor service provider she is. I don’t like to swear so I’ll quote what I imagine King Tarzan may have said if he were in my place: Lazy Fucken Lying Bitch Slut Whore Bitch 

I began to recognise her just a few seconds before handing over the money, I paused and considered walking and then decided in a split second that she looked nice and slim unlike the Punjabi Kuri that I remembered and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. My mistake I handed over £80 into her cash hungry grubby paws. I could clearly see the greed flicker over her eyes and facial expression as I handed her the money.

I told her that I had just come from work and I asked her if I’d need to take a shower. She told me not to worry about it. She didn’t get the hint. She probably wanted to save on towels but this is a red flag for hygiene. So I told her that I’d just go and wash my hands at least.

This part is where it gets like Groundhog Day from my punt with her about three years ago:

Back in the room, identical to my previous punt she was laying on the bed on her side like a whore of babylon in a pose reminiscent of The Rokeby Venus only without Mary Richardson to do her justice, she was naked except for stockings.

Coming onto the bed she asked:
SImran: So what do you work as (translation: How rich are you?)
Me: I drive for Uber 
Identical to previous punt

Simran ”So do you like Indian girls?”
Identical to my previous punt. And.

Simran:”Wow you are so good looking”
Identical to previous punt

She’s got a patter and its probably designed to waste time.

At this point I had 100% recognition and my chest began to sink into my heart. I’d already handed over my cash, so I sent out a silent prayer to the gods of punting for mercy. The gods weren’t listening. Or they were laughing.

When did you last cum?
Identical to previous punt (translation: Is he going to cum quickly)

Remembering my last punt, I took a look at her pussy and decided not to do RO. She didn’t offer to give me OWO and I didn’t press for it.

Went straight into Mish and DFK. Within seconds she starts with the fake moaning. Identical to previous punt. Seriously - Ive just put my cock into this harlot and she’s making sounds like I’m Casanova on the final lap of the Grand Prix. I didn’t know that I was such a good fuck and could have someone coming within seconds

Pussy Grip factor: 5/10

I don’t mind a bit of faking but this SP is not sophisticated enough to make it seem at least seem real.
1st minute: Oooh oooh baby, fuck dat pussy, yes baby fuck it mmm mmm Oh Oh Oh
[Second minute: Ah ah your cock is so perfect for me baby, ahhhh, you’re making me cum, cum for me baby cum in dat pussy
Also identical to previous punt.
She says this with a poker face and lying eyes.

At this point I’m feeling pissed off and regretting the punt. Her unsophisticated faking is ruining my punt and its identical to last time. I try pumping for another minute or two resentfully now with this song lyric running in my head and I’m already thinking about my coming negative review on UKP.

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes

Let’s make her work, I thought so I asked her to climb on top:
Simran: Oh nooo babes I’m really enjoying it just in this position, lets keep going like this. 

I told her that I probably wouldn’t nut. No offer of hand relief or a BJ to completion instead she says:

Simran:I’m really enjoying myself babes but we are out of time. Do you wanna extend? You are really nice and turn me on so much. Come back next time and fuck me for an hour

I’d rather chop up some garlic, onions and chilli powder, squirt some lemon juice in my eye and stick my dick in a blender, all mixed together than come back to this atrocious, lazy, lying, dead eyes, greedy non-service provider.

I’m getting dressed. No offer of shower.

Simran: What are you going to do now babe
Me: Go home, have a wank (you’d think she gets the hint) take a shower and relax at home ( Translation: I’m going to find another SP and nut in her and not in you, not that I’d want to now, because I feel horny and dissatisfied with your miserable useless excuse of a service)
Simran: Awww really nice to meet you babe, you are such a sweet guy, come back next time and fuck me for an hour (translation: What a mug, come back and pay me more next time)
Me:Sure (Translation: Like hell I will)
Also identical conversation to previous punt.

I was in and out within 20 minutes. I knew that she’s cut it short but I just wanted to get out of there.

Conclusion
It is not often that I leave a punt fuming. I’ve been fooled twice by this SP and won’t be fooled again.

Positives:
- Not bait and switch
- Is a genuine Indian
- Has lost weight.

NEGATIVES
- Lazy. Does the bare minimum
- Lies about length of punt.
- Clock watches.
- Overly fake to the point of irritation
- Questionable hygiene

Why visit her: If you don’t mind faking and want to bang a Chavvy gangsta Indian then for it. Would suit an viagra fuelled jack hammering pump and dump drilling from a pure misogynist.

Why not visit her: Simply put she is a shining example of everything crap about an SP.

RETURN?: NO I sincerely hope never to return to this one. Ever.

[Belgarion]

Christ on a bike. That's awful.

Commiserations

[12 MONTHS IN A YEAR]

That made me chuckle on one side, and feel for you on the other.  Some of the things I would hate at a punt, fake moaning etc Hope you have better
luck next time, great review.

[Fully Sated]

Thanks form that review Phaedrus, your detailed account really made me laugh, she seems to encapsulate just about everything that we don't want in a service provider. Best of luck for next time.

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[PilotMan]

Sorry for you having a bad punt.

It's a brilliant and well written review, made me chuckle.

[TTGR]

Great review. Thanks for the warning!

Fake porno moans are just so terrible. Some men must like them or why would she keep doing it? Maybe a tactic she thinks will make the punter cum quicker 

[WHG]

I’m eagerly awaiting your review for her in a few years when you accidentally punt her again. 

Honestly though, sorry you had a shit time mate. She sounds absolutely horrendous.

[Fully Sated]

I’m eagerly awaiting your review for her in a few years when you accidentally punt her again. 

WHG, That is an awful thing to say...but I am in complete agreement with you!

[peter purves]

Excellently written but these stories of Punters' Alienation do make better reading.

This more than any other struck a chord 

My mistake I handed over £80 into her cash hungry grubby paws. I could clearly see the greed flicker over her eyes and facial expression as I handed her the money.

[Sinz]

I’d rather chop up some garlic, onions and chilli powder, squirt some lemon juice in my eye and stick my dick in a blender, all mixed together than come back to this atrocious, lazy, lying, dead eyes, greedy non-service provider.

 

That said it all, thanks for the warning OP.

[GreyDave]

External Link/Members Only
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=16789.msg261207#msg261207

Why visit her: If you don’t mind faking and want to bang a Chavvy gangsta Indian then for it. Would suit an viagra fuelled jack hammering pump and dump drilling from a pure misogynist.

Cheers mate I`ve just put her on the to do list , I`ve some V from ASDA left over that needs using up 

[ManOFSteel]

Good write up. I usually love Indian girls but this one's straight to the avoid list.

[12 MONTHS IN A YEAR]

Good write up. I usually love Indian girls but this one's straight to the avoid list.

Agreed, If I went to London, this would have been on my HL. Thanks to OP.

[Phaedrus]

Cheers mate I`ve just put her on the to do list , I`ve some V from ASDA left over that needs using up 

Please do and drill her relentlessly solid for an hour. She needs a good “work-out”... Actually, she needs to WORK 

[Phaedrus]

Excellently written but these stories of Punters' Alienation do make better reading.

This more than any other struck a chord 

I do see the see the humour in this punt. It keeps me sane and if I can make others laugh then even better.

@PP You’ve written about what you call Punters Alienation before, I hope that you don’t mind me asking but I am curious. How would you define it?

[peter purves]

I do see the see the humour in this punt. It keeps me sane and if I can make others laugh then even better.

@PP You’ve written about what you call Punters Alienation before, I hope that you don’t mind me asking but I am curious. How would you define it?

Somebody had to ask 

In punting it is when the illusion is smashed to its crudest form so  it hits the punter square in the  that he is a thing to be exploited and/or cheated or in some cases even robbed because prostitution is ultimately a game of survival. Even if the opportunity is there to bang the life out of her even this becomes meaningless because the punter becomes alienated from the very thing - the female body - and/or even sex which he so craved.

There are many variants of it, it can also work the other way like when you meet a nice WG but she just cannot perform - even if she wants to - because it is not something she really wants to do.

So basically it is the emotions that arises from [a] very bad punt(s) leading to an alienation within oneself, sex and/or punting.

I am sure we've all been there in some aspect or another

Personally, I think I am in a perpetual state of Punters' Alienation, I am just going through the motions, cannot even remember them to look back on them in my mind and think 'Oh that was nice!'. This is it in it's higher form 

Cheers for asking 

[peter purves]

I do see the see the humour in this punt. It keeps me sane and if I can make others laugh then even better.

Top man!! 

[Phaedrus]

Somebody had to ask 

In punting it is when the illusion is smashed to its crudest form so  it hits the punter square in the  that he is a thing to be exploited and/or cheated or in some cases even robbed because prostitution is ultimately a game of survival. Even if the opportunity is there to bang the life out of her even this becomes meaningless because the punter becomes alienated from the very thing - the female body - and/or even sex which he so craved.

There are many variants of it, it can also work the other way like when you meet a nice WG but she just cannot perform - even if she wants to - because it is not something she really wants to do.

So basically it is the emotions that arises from [a] very bad punt(s) leading to an alienation within oneself, sex and/or punting.

I am sure we've all been there in some aspect or another

Personally, I think I am in a perpetual state of Punters' Alienation, I am just going through the motions, cannot even remember them to look back on them in my mind and think 'Oh that was nice!'. This is it in it's higher form 

Cheers for asking 

I relate to that. Or as I think of it:

Punting is a solitary activity.

[ManOFSteel]

Her AW link is not working anymore  wanted to jackhammer pump and dump.

[JayEZ2K]

I’ve seen this one before. In her previous incarnation she was known as Indian Punjabi Kuri. She was a poor quality service provider then and she’s still poor quality.

Sorry Phaedrus for not only having one shite punt with her but accidentally having two shite punts with her. I pray the punting gods that her phone gets dusty and she be forced to do real work so that she can see how much hard work is required to make that £80 which she so easily cheats men out of time and time again, obviously for years.

[Phaedrus]

Sorry Phaedrus for not only having one shite punt with her but accidentally having two shite punts with her. I pray the punting gods that her phone gets dusty and she be forced to do real work so that she can see how much hard work is required to make that £80 which she so easily cheats men out of time and time again, obviously for years.

Amen! May the punting gods strike her with the wrath of a minimum pay job in her days as in ours!

[Bondmaniac]

I tried to arrange a meet with her once, she sent me to a hotel, at agreed done refused to answer my calls until 40 min he's after agreed time, then asked to come back In am hour or so.  Glad i didn't get the chance to see her.