English Ashley - Cheltenham - massive time scalper

[lamboman]

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£160 for 1hr in fact 34 minutes.

I told myself next time I get radio silence I'm going home,what do I do instead?
That's right find another girl in town who I vaguely remember being reviewed not too badly and go and see her 
Comms done by text whilst I was in town having been let down,easy enough probable AirBNB apartment on the edge of town.
Eventually find it as her idea of opposite is different to mine.
Greeted by Ashley in a tight dress,she's short with massive tits,bit of a belly and lips she stole off Pete Burns.
Nothing to look at but not ugly and any port in a storm.
Money,shower and she starts by asking if I can cum twice in an hour,I say maybe.
Starts with a decent BJ to be fair,ball sucking but within a coupe of minutes she wants to sit on my cock despite me saying I like oral.
Ask for her to sit on my face,there's a refusal at the first with that but does go for a 69.She has a bloody clit piercing I hate those,that doesn't last long enough as she's keen to fuck and that ring keeps getting in the way.
Rubber on and she's soon bouncing away,I can tell where this is going.Onto doggy and I cum in the bag which I normally can't do at all so she must have done something right.
Clean up bit of a chat and she looks at her phone on the way back to the bed a pet hate of mine,phones should be on silent.
Round two more oral BJ/69 and another refusal at face sitting then "would you like to wank on my tits".
No I'm not paying £160 ph to have a wank you do it,what follows is a furious wank job with inevitable results,during which her fucking phone is constantly ringing to the point where I'm going to say something and it stops just in time.
Now I'm thinking we've still got some time left but it's clear my time is up by the answering texts and general lack of interest.
I'm out of the shower having spent a grand total of 34 minutes in the place including 2 showers.
Well I'm not going to let that go so say I'm unhappy with the time shorting to which she replies I time it by the cums not the hour 
At no point was that ever mentioned so I descend the stairs in awkward silence and make my leave.
Apparently nobody has ever complained which I feel is unlikely.
In short she wants you in and out of the door ASAP and clearly doesn't enjoy her work which is a shame as she could be pretty good at it.

[southcoastpunter]

so this is a very generous "positive" rating. Or did you mean tio give it some other rating? If so say and a forum helper can change it (but only if you clearly say you want it to be xxxx)

[lamboman]

Yes please change to negative sorry I usually get that wrong.

[southcoastpunter]

Yes please change to negative sorry I usually get that wrong.

done.

[Cheltclient]

Thanks for the review.

Not sure she was ever on the hot list (but may have been tempted at some point) but now firmly on the black list for me. Hate SP’s with attitudes like that when it comes to time.

and lips like Pete Burns. We talking fake lips? If so, I absolutely detest the fake lip things. I can just about ignore it if it’s subtle ( Paloma springs to mind but hers were well done) but those big bee stung ones - yuk !!!

[lamboman]

and lips like Pete Burns. We talking fake lips? If so, I absolutely detest the fake lip things. I can just about ignore it if it’s subtle ( Paloma springs to mind but hers were well done) but those big bee stung ones - yuk !!!

Full set of duck lips looked faintly ridiculous.

[Cheltclient]

Full set of duck lips looked faintly ridiculous.

Great little bit of detail there with the review. Immediately a no no for me.

[Tallchris]

I think I went there last year for 30 mins.  I remember the Jessica rabbit description.  Big arse and relatively narrow waist compared to arse.  Not sure the blurred pics are her.  If they are,  they are a few sizes smaller and several years ago.  Performance was average and I scrubbed her after and won’t return.

[lamboman]

Just as a follow on I have received a couple of texts from her after I called her out.Not abusive but unwelcome nonetheless,she still keeps sending them after I told her I was going to block her so not the sharpest tool in the box.

[Cheltclient]

Just as a follow on I have received a couple of texts from her after I called her out.Not abusive but unwelcome nonetheless,she still keeps sending them after I told her I was going to block her so not the sharpest tool in the box.

I’m guessing she’s complaining about this review and asking for some sort of retraction?

[lamboman]

I’m guessing she’s complaining about this review and asking for some sort of retraction?

No I doubt she's seen it or they really would have been abusive.

[Cheltclient]

No I doubt she's seen it or they really would have been abusive.

Really? What’s she texting about then? Don’t worry if you don’t want to say. It’s rare for an SP to text after a booking (maybe you impressed her with your skills - never happens to me  ).

[lamboman]

She just kept saying how nobody has ever complained before and she has lots of regulars,is very busy and doesn't need my recommendation.
Frankly that's bollocks I texted her yesterday morning and I her diary was free which is not surprising and no fool is going to see her twice.

[Cheltclient]

She just kept saying how nobody has ever complained before and she has lots of regulars,is very busy and doesn't need my recommendation.
Frankly that's bollocks I texted her yesterday morning and I her diary was free which is not surprising and no fool is going to see her twice.

I see. Sounds like she doesn’t want to leave it, hence the texts.

I sometimes read Saafe and see the barrage of complaints SP’s have about clients. And I’ve also read their disdain for forums likes this. In reality, I’m sure there’s a gross amount of dickhead clients out there. I don’t doubt it. But there’s also some shocking sp’s out there and it can be just as much a minefield seeking services as it can providing them. This review is a good example. How on earth were you to know it was a cum twice deal and then you’re out the door. It’s just poor service and a deserved negative, despite no one having complained before.

[dinger22]

Was tempted to go visit for the boobs, but reading your review probably not

[lamboman]

Was tempted to go visit for the boobs, but reading your review probably not

Don't do it,have a wank it will be better.

[joninbristol]

Was tempted to go visit for the boobs, but reading your review probably not

You could have the best of both worlds:
Print off a few of her photos, and lob one off over them.

And if you want the genuine, full-on Ashley experience, give your gas company a call, and request a call back.
With a bit of luck and timing, your phone will be going off furiously mid-wank.

Bonus: No petrol costs, just a bit of toner, a sheet of A4 and a phone call to SSE.
£160 saved, you still get to wank yourself off, and no Pete Burns lips.
Sounds like a far superior 34 minutes !

[lamboman]

You could have the best of both worlds:
Print off a few of her photos, and lob one off over them.

And if you want the genuine, full-on Ashley experience, give your gas company a call, and request a call back.
With a bit of luck and timing, your phone will be going off furiously mid-wank.

Bonus: No petrol costs, just a bit of toner, a sheet of A4 and a phone call to SSE.
£160 saved, you still get to wank yourself off, and no Pete Burns lips.
Sounds like a far superior 34 minutes !

 

[dinger22]

 

Amazing!

[joninbristol]

Amazing!

[lamboman]

Just a little update,I had blocked her so didn't see her last text.
Looking at my blocked numbers today I came across it;
 "You want to watch your mouth don't forget what I'm doing is legal but buying sex is illegal.
And your number can be traced.
Now you take care"
Obviously it's incorrect for starters but shows what a nasty piece of work she is.

[joninbristol]

"...... I'm unhappy with the time shorting to which she replies I time it by the cums not the hour"

So, she's admitted to providing sexual services, not charging you by time spent with her.
Puts a different face on it - I'd say she's in a legally grey area there.
And yes, technically your number can be traced, but a) it requires a court order, and b) it's only usually invoked for serious offences like drug and people trafficking, paedophile activity and murder.  I'd not worry myself one jot about that.

But for more certainty, whilst we're at it, let's just hope she's completely up to date with her returns to HMRC, eh? 

[lamboman]

I'm not worried at all and there's no grey area.

[joninbristol]

I'm not worried at all and there's no grey area.