Punting in retirement.

[Charliehutton]

Apropos of nothing.

Since I retired, most of my pension has been spent on red wine and prostitutes. I've just wasted the rest.

Had I been given the choice, I'd be teetotal by now.

Bugger.

[usroads]

 

[ulstersubbie]

  +2

[mr.bluesky]

Apropos of nothing.

Since I retired, most of my pension has been spent on red wine and prostitutes. I've just wasted the rest.

Had I been given the choice, I'd be teetotal by now.

Bugger.

Thats what I call a happy retirement 

[Thephoenix]

SP's should be very grateful for all those years I diligently paid into my pension fund.

[winkywanky]

Apropos of nothing.

Since I retired, most of my pension has been spent on red wine and prostitutes. I've just wasted the rest.

Had I been given the choice, I'd be teetotal by now.

Bugger.

Sounds like you need to cut down on 'the rest'.

I wouldn't worry, so long as you have a stable financial equilibrium where incomings = outgoings, or you at least know the money won't run out before you peg it (or become unable to enjoy the prostitutes, whichever comes first), everything's just fine and dandy 

[fatboy]

Why worry, think of me - three years after retirement age and still having to work
in order to afford red wine and WG's.
Mind you, I do like deciding what to order from Majestic and AW. 
Cheers, FB.

[berksboy]

When you cant fuck and drink you may as well be dead .

[Thephoenix]

When you cant fuck and drink you may as well be dead .

Thanks for cheering me up before going to bed.....
I can't drink because of meds......... And there's certainly no fucking going on at the moment.

Ah well.....To bed.... Sleep, perchance to dream, - ay, there's the rub, for in this sleep of death, what dreams may come true.
So some bloke called Hamlet once said.

[winkywanky]

Apparently the Danish are doing rather well compared to us with Covid.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Remeind me what do these Prostituites do again??.....

[Knny]

I'm also preparing punting plans for retirement.  Part of me thinks it would be better to spend the winter months in warmer climes, renting a place.  Somewhere like thailand or barcelona.  Would have to take the wife, who suspects/accepts my needs.  Never been anywhere abroad for punting, so I have no idea.  With retirement budgets low, I'd have to settle for average ass, rather than top totty. 

Anyone else thinking along those lines?

[standardpostage]

A punting pensioner, is a happy pensioner. Puts a spring in your step and a smile on your face 

[dieseldriver]

Soon to be 71 and never stopped since my teens. First one was in a flat off of Edgware Rd London. Come out the station, walk towards Marble Arch, side street on left, pub on corner. £5 at that time when earning £12 a week. Some London lads might find it?

[Home Alone]

A punting pensioner, is a happy pensioner. Puts a spring in your step and a smile on your face 

You never spoke a true word, standard. It's not just the session I enjoy; it's the anticipation.

Especially when my fellow-passengers on public transport offer to help this elderly gentleman with a walking stick off the bus or train without a clue that the Tadalafil he took surreptitiously is working its magic!

[fatboy]

Soon to be 71 and never stopped since my teens. First one was in a flat off of Edgware Rd London. Come out the station, walk towards Marble Arch, side street on left, pub on corner. £5 at that time when earning £12 a week. Some London lads might find it?

If they do find it they should beware, could be the same WG still working there.
OWO is when she takes her teeth out. 

[Jonestown]

Soon to be 71 and never stopped since my teens. First one was in a flat off of Edgware Rd London. Come out the station, walk towards Marble Arch, side street on left, pub on corner. £5 at that time when earning £12 a week. Some London lads might find it?

Brendon Street - the delightful Sugar Kane and her banjo lessons by any chance ?

[Furry]

I remember being told by a girl in Slough, a few years back, of an old boy who had keeled over while in an establishment. Probably just an urban legend. Emergency services were called. It was decided that his NoK would be informed he collapsed on the street outside. Not inside an enthusiastic twenty year old.

[winkywanky]

I remember being told by a girl in Slough, a few years back, of an old boy who had keeled over while in an establishment. Probably just an urban legend. Emergency services were called. It was decided that his NoK would be informed he collapsed on the street outside. Not inside an enthusiastic twenty year old.

I wonder how they explained the smile on his face once rigor mortis had set in?

Skilful mortuary technician 

[Home Alone]

Apropos of nothing.

Since I retired, most of my pension has been spent on red wine and prostitutes. I've just wasted the rest.

Had I been given the choice, I'd be teetotal by now.

Bugger.

As Mark Twain apparently didn't say - and no, I don't know who did - "Twenty years from now, you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did."

[tesla]

As Mark Twain apparently didn't say - and no, I don't know who did - "Twenty years from now, you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did."

quote actually comes from a 1991 book written by H. Jackson Brown Jr.

[LLPunting]

A punting pensioner, is a happy pensioner. Puts a spring in your step and a smile on your face 

Also keeps their macs shut and stops them bothering the civvies in public.

[winkywanky]

As Lockdown slowly loosens, there have been unconfirmed reports of packs of hungry pensioners loitering outside parks where young, scantily-clad women were exhibiting their charms in a somewhat carefree manner   

[Thephoenix]

As Lockdown slowly loosens, there have been unconfirmed reports of packs of hungry pensioners loitering outside parks where young, scantily-clad women were exhibiting their charms in a somewhat carefree manner   

And even outside toilets, in heathland and woods. I believe the warm weather brings out these old gentlemen looking to get back to nature after being locked down for so long. Whether it be a bit of uphill gardening on the allotments or looking for chutney ferrets along the river bank.

[WARSZAWA16]

I wonder how they explained the smile on his face once rigor mortis had set in?
Skilful mortuary technician 

And also why it took a week to get his coffin lid down.

[dieseldriver]

Brendon Street - the delightful Sugar Kane and her banjo lessons by any chance ?

Doubt it. Found her by the usual French lessons window card. Her flat could be seen from Edgware Rd. First floor with a red light in the window.

[willie loman]

I remember being told by a girl in Slough, a few years back, of an old boy who had keeled over while in an establishment. Probably just an urban legend. Emergency services were called. It was decided that his NoK would be informed he collapsed on the street outside. Not inside an enthusiastic twenty year old.

Deaths in brothels or saunas are not uncommon there have been 2 in Edinburgh in the last 10years, one in Scorpio sauna, the other in no 18 a gay sauna , now closed.

[catweazle]

As Mark Twain apparently didn't say - and no, I don't know who did - "Twenty years from now, you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did."

Another (probably misattributed) quote, allegedly from Kenneth Williams:

"You don't want to be going to your grave wishing you'd had more fun with your genital organs"

[winkywanky]

And also why it took a week to get his coffin lid down.

  Forgot that one! 

[winkywanky]

Another (probably misattributed) quote, allegedly from Kenneth Williams:

"You don't want to be going to your grave wishing you'd had more fun with your genital organs"

Somewhat ironic coming from the poor guy, who derived very little pleasure from his own genital organs, and was completely obsessed with his own, fucked-up bowel movements.

He wasn't a happy soul  .

[houseboot]

Remeind me what do these Prostituites do again??.....

Nothing on their "Likes list"     

[Charliehutton]

As Lockdown slowly loosens, there have been unconfirmed reports of packs of hungry pensioners loitering outside parks where young, scantily-clad women were exhibiting their charms in a somewhat carefree manner   

Winky, where do I apply? I've been very complacent, thinking I've plumbed every depth of depravity known to man, and now you've thrown a new one at me. I've never loitered, as far as I know, but the way you describe it it sure sounds a lot of fun, especially in the current climate.

[winkywanky]

Just remember, there's a big difference between discreetly perving, and importuning and downright harrassment.

Make sure you're only doing the former 

[winkywanky]

Wearing sunglasses helps, they can't see which way you're looking 

[Littlefoot]

I remember being told by a girl in Slough, a few years back, of an old boy who had keeled over while in an establishment. Probably just an urban legend. Emergency services were called. It was decided that his NoK would be informed he collapsed on the street outside. Not inside an enthusiastic twenty year old.

Reminds me of an incident that happened last year when I was down in Devon... I happen to be walking past a rub & tug joint, at the same time there was an ambulance parked up outside. The paramedics were wheeling an old boy out of the shop and loading him onto the ambulance. Must have been in his 80s. Didn’t look too well! Following them carrying the gentleman’s Zimmer frame was the Chinese masseuse. 

[Charliehutton]

Wearing sunglasses helps, they can't see which way you're looking 

Come to think of it, 'Loitering Without Intent' pretty much sums up life itself for some of us at the moment. With the weather as it is, it seems a good time to brush up on ones ogling and leering skills. Thanks for the tip.

[wombat42]

I am retiring to Malta. Apart from its tourist appeal, sun and stupendious history, Malta has up to 200 massage parlours and tons of "escort" listings. Massage parlours are almost everywhere on a small island. More on Malta can be found by searching "Malta" on UKP.

[Redpunter]

Didn’t start until the OH reached her 60s and decided she had no more desire for sex she even told me to look elsewhere and of course I declined for about two years and then saw an advert for Thai massage which was legit. On my 2nd visit before I knew it the HE was upon me.

This in turn led me down the road of meeting a few more Massage and then WGs and now in my late 60s I have enjoyed a plethora of fine ladies from all over the planet, all colours and creeds. All ages as well.

I suppose you could say it’s thanks to the OH
That I have found this hobby and thank God for it.   

[winkywanky]

I am retiring to Malta. Apart from its tourist appeal, sun and stupendious history, Malta has up to 200 massage parlours and tons of "escort" listings. Massage parlours are almost everywhere on a small island. More on Malta can be found by searching "Malta" on UKP.

...now we know why Robin Askwith retired to Gozo.

His book entitled Confessions of a Randy Retiree comes out next week 

[wombat42]

...now we know why Robin Askwith retired to Gozo.

His book entitled Confessions of a Randy Retiree comes out next week 

Fascinating. "'Some people love it  -  like Billy Connolly, Peter O'Toole and Ian Botham who keep coming back,' says Robin." I must get in touch with him. Just a small handful of massage parlours in Gozo. It is only a 25 minute ferry ride to the debauchery of Malta main island.
External Link/Members Only

[workinallweek]

 well semi retirement seems on the cards after this   from the job not the hobby 

[Home Alone]

I am retiring to Malta. Apart from its tourist appeal, sun and stupendious history, Malta has up to 200 massage parlours and tons of "escort" listings. Massage parlours are almost everywhere on a small island. More on Malta can be found by searching "Malta" on UKP.

Hmm, Malta, eh? 🤔 It must be over 20 years since I was last there.

Perhaps the venue for the first post-lockdown holiday, methinks!

[wombat42]

Hmm, Malta, eh? 🤔 It must be over 20 years since I was last there.

Perhaps the venue for the first post-lockdown holiday, methinks!

Certainly mine. For practical reasons I cant actually move there for about a year but can take frequent holidays there in the meantime scoping out the best places to live.

[wombat42]

Looking at Robin Askwith's Twitter feed "@Robin_Askwith", he is still living in Malta/Gozo.

[Bustydusty]

And also why it took a week to get his coffin lid down.

That reminds that apparently it took a while to get Bob Marley’s coffin lid to stay down - it kept jammin

[winkywanky]

    

[winkywanky]

And there's me thinking it was his enormous spliff