Conscience and feeling guilty after punt

[stefanow]

I find it really interesting to read through everyone's comments.  There are some diverse attitudes, but most people
seem to be on the same page here.  And I'm heartened that I seem to be in line with the majority:

- not much happening at home, and what there is doesn't engage me as much as I"d like
- feel that the outlet of punting, and everything that goes with it, has actually saved my marriage
- don't do it every month and I see the money spent as my money not the family's
- don't feel guilty about it, but have worries about being caught and all the devastation to my family that might ensue...

And that is not guilt, as much as fear.  But without wanting to sound like a bit of a tit, I actually think it's good for us
to do things that scare us now and again.  Our lives are pretty relaxed now, compared to even 50 years ago, never mind
500 years ago.  But we're still the same animal really...

Trying to think around the problems punting creates for a man in a relationship is actually part of the 'fun' for me.
How to get away and organise sessions inbetween work and family... thinking what I might get caught out by and how
I might explain it away.  I've had two close calls now, and whilst I hated every second when I was in it, I found a way
and lived (in my relationship) to tell the tale - except you are the only fuckers I can talk to about it  :-/

Sure my partner suspects a little, but to be honest if you or I suspected our partners were playing away, we could react
in one of two ways: try to encourage them to stop by being a better partner and giving them what (you know) they want
or be more of a twat to them.

And this is the other bonus of punting versus affairs which others have touched upon... punting is a much better way to
fill a void in a relationship than actually having a relationship with someone else.  Part of the reason we are paying escorts
money is not just to let us fuck them, but also to fuck off afterwards and not bother us.

My wife had secret affair for over two years with a work colleague.  It was the relationship between them which destroyed me
not the sex they had.  And by the sounds of it, her friend paid just as much as we do with gifts, expensive meals and hotels.

[MrMatrix]

I find it really interesting to read through everyone's comments.  There are some diverse attitudes, but most people
seem to be on the same page here.  And I'm heartened that I seem to be in line with the majority:

- not much happening at home, and what there is doesn't engage me as much as I"d like
- feel that the outlet of punting, and everything that goes with it, has actually saved my marriage
- don't do it every month and I see the money spent as my money not the family's
- don't feel guilty about it, but have worries about being caught and all the devastation to my family that might ensue...

And that is not guilt, as much as fear.  But without wanting to sound like a bit of a tit, I actually think it's good for us
to do things that scare us now and again.  Our lives are pretty relaxed now, compared to even 50 years ago, never mind
500 years ago.  But we're still the same animal really...

Trying to think around the problems punting creates for a man in a relationship is actually part of the 'fun' for me.
How to get away and organise sessions inbetween work and family... thinking what I might get caught out by and how
I might explain it away.  I've had two close calls now, and whilst I hated every second when I was in it, I found a way
and lived (in my relationship) to tell the tale - except you are the only fuckers I can talk to about it  :-/

Sure my partner suspects a little, but to be honest if you or I suspected our partners were playing away, we could react
in one of two ways: try to encourage them to stop by being a better partner and giving them what (you know) they want
or be more of a twat to them.

And this is the other bonus of punting versus affairs which others have touched upon... punting is a much better way to
fill a void in a relationship than actually having a relationship with someone else.  Part of the reason we are paying escorts
money is not just to let us fuck them, but also to fuck off afterwards and not bother us.

My wife had secret affair for over two years with a work colleague.  It was the relationship between them which destroyed me
not the sex they had.  And by the sounds of it, her friend paid just as much as we do with gifts, expensive meals and hotels.

So your wife would be more understanding if she caught you out, after all she's done it herself or would she?
I agree with you that punting is a better way to fill the void rather than an affair. Some how an affair , to me, seems a lot worse as its a 2nd relationship. Whereas a punts a fuck and thats it.
Out of interest how did you catch the wife out and what did she say when you faced her down... Just curious really

[webpunter]

+1
Brilliant reply 

No

[stefanow]

So your wife would be more understanding if she caught you out, after all she's done it herself or would she?
I agree with you that punting is a better way to fill the void rather than an affair. Some how an affair , to me, seems a lot worse as its a 2nd relationship. Whereas a punts a fuck and thats it.
Out of interest how did you catch the wife out and what did she say when you faced her down... Just curious really

Doubt my wife would be understanding...  but this would be just as much a function of her insecurity as anything else.  Truth be told, my punting life started after I found out.  I'd had an inkling she was having an affair, and confronted her about it one Christmas...  she denied it and it took me another two months until I had proof.  Her response was apologetic but also blaming me for changing and stopping being the man she married.  Hard to accept at the time, but nearly ten years on, she was right - I was in a bad place.  Funny to think back to it all...  we were both a real mess.  Quite proud to have turned it around a little, although we're still a long way from those blissfully happy times as a couple in our youth...  we used to screw for hours. 

[MrMatrix]

Doubt my wife would be understanding...  but this would be just as much a function of her insecurity as anything else.  Truth be told, my punting life started after I found out.  I'd had an inkling she was having an affair, and confronted her about it one Christmas...  she denied it and it took me another two months until I had proof.  Her response was apologetic but also blaming me for changing and stopping being the man she married.  Hard to accept at the time, but nearly ten years on, she was right - I was in a bad place.  Funny to think back to it all...  we were both a real mess.  Quite proud to have turned it around a little, although we're still a long way from those blissfully happy times as a couple in our youth...  we used to screw for hours.

Thanks for the reply. However we all struggle with life at one time or another.
At  least you had a decent sex life at one stage.
I would have  reacted same as you and started punting, but I suspect it wasnt what you really wanted to do either. I know I didnt.
Why not try for it again. Perhaps she misses the intimacy. What does she want or doesnt she know

[king tarzan]

Doubt my wife would be understanding...  but this would be just as much a function of her insecurity as anything else.  Truth be told, my punting life started after I found out.  I'd had an inkling she was having an affair, and confronted her about it one Christmas...  she denied it and it took me another two months until I had proof.  Her response was apologetic but also blaming me for changing and stopping being the man she married.  Hard to accept at the time, but nearly ten years on, she was right - I was in a bad place.  Funny to think back to it all...  we were both a real mess.  Quite proud to have turned it around a little, although we're still a long way from those blissfully happy times as a couple in our youth...  we used to screw for hours.

I believe in moralistic conservative values..
Always keep the ball at the man's feet...
Simpletto

[webpunter]

In various guises reck a reasonable % of UKP'ers are in the same boat
#metoo
At least we still get to screw for hours, usually 1 occasionally 2

The wheels fell orf for me, it was a matter of when rather than if
I could see the wheel nuts loosening & it was down the Mulsanne straight @ 200mph+ when it happened 

If the same happens to you then you gotta up your game, coz civvy milfs can expect it all night
And in the day
Can be rather tiring 🙃
Its a tough ask, time to step up [with kamagra] 

Doubt my wife would be understanding...  but this would be just as much a function of her insecurity as anything else.  Truth be told, my punting life started after I found out.  I'd had an inkling she was having an affair, and confronted her about it one Christmas...  she denied it and it took me another two months until I had proof.  Her response was apologetic but also blaming me for changing and stopping being the man she married.  Hard to accept at the time, but nearly ten years on, she was right - I was in a bad place.  Funny to think back to it all...  we were both a real mess.  Quite proud to have turned it around a little, although we're still a long way from those blissfully happy times as a couple in our youth...  we used to screw for hours.