Punting Pet Hates - No. 1 Hot Rooms

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Now I know I'm a hot-blooded male, both literally and physically, but does anyone else find most wg's rooms too damn hot ? 

What's most strange is that probably half of the girls I have seen recently have been EE's. Surely they cannot be that cold in what has been a mild winter here given their much colder home climates ? I'm convinced some of them do it just to sap your energy.

Even on a lovely warm day like today, Madlin Moon's (God bless her) was far too hot for me.....yes both the girl (I just lay back and enjoyed it) and the room that was bordering on sauna-rific.

Does anyone else find this ? 

Also, what other punting pet hates do you have ?

[Jimmyredcab]

Also, what other punting pet hates do you have ?

When there is nowhere to put your clothes, not even a chair.   


When the waste bin is overflowing with tissues and condoms.   

[maxxblue]

Also, what other punting pet hates do you have ?

When you read positive reviews on UKP, and they turn out to be FUCKING MONSTERS!!!

[robs one]

Listening to there hard done by stories after they have just taken over £100 pound off of you for an hours work.
Talking about there children and ex husbands

[DaveMugabe]

Listening to there hard done by stories after they have just taken over £100 pound off of you for an hours work.
Talking about there children and ex husbands

Yeh that

Who wants to hear a fucking moaning bitch - we can get that from wives and GF's already

[jimbobwood]

When there is nowhere to put your clothes, not even a chair.   


When the waste bin is overflowing with tissues and condoms.   

Good points JRC. It's not difficult to include a chair to hang your clothes on or to clear out the bin.

Girls that keep on using wet wipes, when my cock is clean. or girls that wipe their pussy with wet wipes during the punt!

Too many pet hates in punting. TV or Kiss FM playing loudly in the background. Timewasting tactics, too many to mention. Smoking or answering phone/texting during my paid time. Girls that want you out the door after you cum and the only post-cum service they can offer you is a shit massage. I think that is enough to begin with.

[maxxblue]

(1) Talking about other punters!

(2) Smelly pussy (or any other body part, for that matter)

(3) Toilet paper stuck to her ringpiece

(4) Accepting telephone calls in your presence

(5) Pissed

(6) Business-like attitude, as  opposed to fun attitude ("You can lick my pussy but no fingers"; "My minder is two minutes away"

(7) Someone else in the house

(8) Additional charges - if you want to come again that'll be another £15 please.

[vorian]

Music or worse radio playing in the room or clocks deliberately set forward by 5/10 minutes.

[LL]

When you notice that the whoring paraphernalia (usually comprising of a pile of condoms, lube, pack of wet-wipes and a pack of tissues) is already on the bed that you're about to do the business on so you'll be laying next to it / bashing against it / have a clinical reminder of where you are.  A real GFE-killer.

[Roland D Hay]

Music or worse radio playing in the room or clocks deliberately set forward by 5/10 minutes.

On a similar theme, girls who insist on putting music on then even worse play it through their tinny sounding mobile phone.

Also I really fucking object to having my bell end roughly attacked with a wet wipe. I also shower before a punt and wash under my foreskin so it really annoys me.

[vorian]

When you notice that the whoring paraphernalia (usually comprising of a pile of condoms, lube, pack of wet-wipes and a pack of tissues) is already on the bed that you're about to do the business on so you'll be laying next to it / bashing against it / have a clinical reminder of where you are.  A real GFE-killer.

Very true, imho the top WG's have an uncanny ability just to makes things seem to appear out of than air. They certainly don't have piles of shit everywhere on view.  Dread to think what is under the bed though.

[sparrow]

Very true, imho the top WG's have an uncanny ability just to makes things seem to appear out of thin air.

A la Warner Bros cartoons of yesteryear.

[Jimmyredcab]

Girls that want you out the door after you cum .

That is to be expected with £60 an hour Romanians, that is why they are cheap.   

[vorian]

A la Warner Bros cartoons of yesteryear.

I have seen an Acme vibrator appear recently so your idea has merit.

[vorian]

That is to be expected with £60 an hour Romanians, that is why they are cheap.   

I thought it was because they love giving pleasure to men so much, and they hate having to charge anything. 

[Glader]

Making you wait 5 mins while they hide the cash.

Music on in the bedroom before you arrive ( sometimes you wonder who is in the house)

Girls that dissapears every 10 mins to have a quick drink of water

Girls that speed up time

Girls that don't know how long you are there for initially

Girls that are not dressed as you asked them to

[Andre 3000]

I remember the incall I had up in Bank where the WG wiped my cock down with a wetwipe and had a bottle of hand sanitizer on the bed. Considering it was 6.30pm when I saw her I can only imagine how many cocks she'd taken that day. She was even seeing another guy after me..

This is why I mainly started doing outcalls. It's my place, I control everything down to the music. Even having a nice post punt chat is a lot more relaxed. It was especially handy last summer when the heat was atrocious. I had my air con system on and every lady who came by remarked how much more pleasant it was to be in the cool.

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Cheers all.

Lots for any would be compere of Punting Room 101 to consider, but poor odour, texting or taking phonecalls during the call and making you wait 5 mins whilst stashing the cash (just what are they doing other than wasting time) would definitely go into my Punting Room 101. 

[alenski]

i have had the opposite problem with the rooms being so cold that you could not think about sex because i was shivering .i remember two visits to north east escorts where the room was so cold i spent 10 to 15 mins sitting with my back on the radiator warming my self up before the off.the wg told me she just arrived 10 minutes earlier.it,s no fun trying to have sex  when the temperature  is barely 13 degrees centigrade.

[musicman007]

smelly anything!!..is a pet hate of mine.if the music's dire i always talk them into tuning into something i like

[eldritch]

When you've specifically requested and agreed to what she'll wear, you turn up and she's wearing something completely different.

[yorkshire123]

Piss poor directions
Making me wait
"I do it because i enjoy sex with strangers" (so its free is it?)
Not offered a shower to start (Who am i following?)
Smell from any hole 
Commercial radio playing in the background (I sometimes lose my rythem when i hear the latest screw-fix offer!) (sorry forgot the "no touting" rule)
No kiss goodbye & make your own way out.

[KentAde]

Commercial radio playing in the background (I sometimes lose my rythem when i hear the latest screw-fix offer!) (sorry forgot the "no touting" rule)

Found this just for you... 

External Link/Members Only

[yorkshire123]

Thanks for that 
After one punt i went to buy a 18v drill as it was half price even though i didn't need one! The power of advertising.

[Madone1]

My pet hates

1) being left standing around or sitting around outside the for 5-10 minutes so she can get ready and if I can be on time why can't you.

2) girls that will try and avoid taking all there clothes off I'm paying for naked so I want naked.

3) when the room is as dark and as hot of the black hole of Calcutta.

4) piss poor hygiene.

I'm sure there are more.

[Dani]

Now I know I'm a hot-blooded male, both literally and physically, but does anyone else find most wg's rooms too damn hot ? 

This is one we cannot win on.  In the winter we need warm rooms as people come in from the cold and are getting naked so tend to want a warm to hot room but then when the action begins it gets too hot

As someone else has said they hate cold rooms. 

It is hard to judge the right temperature for a room or how different people prefer it to be so we have to just hope we get it right.  At least if it is too hot the heater can be turned off and a cold air blower can be put on.  If its too cold by the time the heater warms up enough it will be too late

I personally prefer a cool room but did try that and had complaints it was not warm enough to take their clothes off in

The only time we can get it right is on a very hot day and we have the air con on as then it is appreciated (although one or two will still moan)

[SirFrank]

1. Being kept waiting - more than 10 mins makes me twitchy. 15 mins and I'm fucking gone
2. Finding out the bird who opens the door took her profile pics 3 years/stone ago
3. Finding out her likes list is inaccurate - notably no DFK and OWO. I don't hire a builder who specialises in plastering to find out he can't plaster. If you say that's what you offer I'll book you on that basis.
4. Clock watching, texting, disinterested and/or clearly doesn't want to be there
5. The smell of stale arse sweat when I'm drilling ala doggie
6. Fake moans and/or claims that you are tooooooo beeeeeeeeeg
7. Trying to charge extra for kissing, eating her fucking minge, OWO, CIM, swallow or anal. As above if I book a builder who specialises in plastering I don't expect the salt of the earth cuntbag to charge me extra for plastering and if he did he'd be out of the fucking door
8. Last minute cancellations that are piss poor. Sorry I can't make I because my mother has been eaten by a shark.
9. A flat or bedroom that resembles a bomb site
10. A bird who lies there like a fucking corpse and doesn't put any fucking minge into it

[vorian]

Number ten is my favourite SirFrank 

[webpunter]

(7) Someone else in the house

What's even worse is someone else who's in the bog in a hotel room

[webpunter]

1. Being kept waiting - more than 10 mins makes me twitchy. 15 mins and I'm fucking gone
2. Finding out the bird who opens the door took her profile pics 3 years/stone ago
3. Finding out her likes list is inaccurate - notably no DFK and OWO. I don't hire a builder who specialises in plastering to find out he can't plaster. If you say that's what you offer I'll book you on that basis.
4. Clock watching, texting, disinterested and/or clearly doesn't want to be there
5. The smell of stale arse sweat when I'm drilling ala doggie
6. Fake moans and/or claims that you are tooooooo beeeeeeeeeg
7. Trying to charge extra for kissing, eating her fucking minge, OWO, CIM, swallow or anal. As above if I book a builder who specialises in plastering I don't expect the salt of the earth cuntbag to charge me extra for plastering and if he did he'd be out of the fucking door
8. Last minute cancellations that are piss poor. Sorry I can't make I because my mother has been eaten by a shark.
9. A flat or bedroom that resembles a bomb site
10. A bird who lies there like a fucking corpse and doesn't put any fucking minge into it

Fucking brilliant !
I was going to watch a bit of TV tonight
But will put off
UKP is the place to be right now
[as a complete aside then @ 10pm on BBC3 there is a re-run of Bluestone 42.  Epic !]

[LL]

8. Last minute cancellations that are piss poor. Sorry I can't make I because my mother has been eaten by a shark.

This one is the one that annoys me the most.  Often they're delayed too for some reason that's nothing at all to do with them being double-booked or allowing a previous punter to extend his original booking into your slot.  There will be such an elaborate reason for you having to wait too (e.g. the landlord has just phoned and has announced that he is coming straight round to inspect the property), but it's funny, whatever the reason for the delay, it always takes a very precise amount of time - e.g. 30 minutes exactly.

[OldSpice]

Definately the girl texting or phone going constantly, vibrating is the worst, very distracting
When I was new to punting,  she spent the first 10 minutes making small talk - whilst playing candy crush or whatever its called on her ipad?!... 

[Pompoy123]

1. Being kept waiting - more than 10 mins makes me twitchy. 15 mins and I'm fucking gone
2. Finding out the bird who opens the door took her profile pics 3 years/stone ago
3. Finding out her likes list is inaccurate - notably no DFK and OWO. I don't hire a builder who specialises in plastering to find out he can't plaster. If you say that's what you offer I'll book you on that basis.
4. Clock watching, texting, disinterested and/or clearly doesn't want to be there
5. The smell of stale arse sweat when I'm drilling ala doggie
6. Fake moans and/or claims that you are tooooooo beeeeeeeeeg
7. Trying to charge extra for kissing, eating her fucking minge, OWO, CIM, swallow or anal. As above if I book a builder who specialises in plastering I don't expect the salt of the earth cuntbag to charge me extra for plastering and if he did he'd be out of the fucking door
8. Last minute cancellations that are piss poor. Sorry I can't make I because my mother has been eaten by a shark.
9. A flat or bedroom that resembles a bomb site
10. A bird who lies there like a fucking corpse and doesn't put any fucking minge into it

Sir Frank I'm in tears reading your list you are quality lol.

[Jack_soa]

I have a couple that havn't been mentioned yet.

- When a WG says "profesional massage" then proceeds to dig thier thumb into your spine and practically paralyze you. I had one girl who could clearly see my stab wound on my back but still dug her thumb into it. I think my exact words were "What did you do that for you stupid bitch".   

- When a WG gets the hump with you because you dared to mention whats on thier profile and you are leaving because they lied.

- When a WG pulls that "No English" crap when you ask about a service or when things get difficult for them. (Seriously, this f***'s me off to no end!!). Also they seem to have no problem reading and counting the cash, just saying. 

- Have to agree with some of you, the radio and tinny phone music is annoying as hell!!

[stayer]

- Claiming they provide services (DFK, rimming, etc) but perform them poorly or not at all

- Have an attitude that they are doing you a favour instead of listening to what you - the paying customer - wants. This seems more prevalent amongst the those who consider themselves a cut above the rest

- Starting the clock ticking the moment you walk through the door but not telling you until your expected punt comes to an untimely end

- Photographs which flatter them. I've learned to be careful when their midriffs are covered up

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Sir Frank I'm in tears reading your list you are quality lol.

+1. Not usually one for text speak but LMAO 

[wristjob]

Cold rooms

Blowing you and talking to you at the same time

[vorian]

Cold rooms

Blowing you and talking to you at the same time

Oh I don't know, if they are talking absolute filth at the time, it works for me.

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Judging from this, it seems a lot of guys hate background music. Despite not wishing to listen to complete pap, I can usually black this out, a bit like a ticking clock after a couple of minutes.

I'm wondering if anyone that is concerned by it has perhaps tried the ultimate revenge and just plugged in their own iPod music, earplugs and continued with the punt ? Would love to see the look on the girl's face!

[vorian]

Judging from this, it seems a lot of guys hate background music. Despite not wishing to listen to complete pap, I can usually black this out, a bit like a ticking clock after a couple of minutes.

I'm wondering if anyone that is concerned by it has perhaps tried the ultimate revenge and just plugged in their own iPod music, earplugs and continued with the punt ? Would love to see the look on the girl's face!

I like it personal punting music, I vote for Motorhead The Ace Of Spades.  That will get the rhythm going.

[Jack_soa]

I like it personal punting music, I vote for Motorhead The Ace Of Spades.  That will get the rhythm going.

Great idea lol. Infact if its an hour punt, just put a Motorhead album on, ANY Motorhead album... Assuming you want it hardcore  .

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

How about Prodigy's "Smack my bitch up"......

[vorian]

How about Prodigy's "Smack my bitch up"......

Or "Firestarter"

[Jack_soa]

Steel Panther - Asian Hooker 

If anyone here knows it that is....

[wristjob]

Oh I don't know, if they are talking absolute filth at the time, it works for me.

Nah more like..


such suck suck....
"I get a lot of people tell me I'm really good at oral. What do you reckon do I do it good?"
(thinking  suck it then) "yeah go on then"
suck suck suck....
"You aren't going to some in my mouth are you, cos I don't do that you know?"
suck suck suck....

[vorian]

Nah more like..


such suck suck....
"I get a lot of people tell me I'm really good at oral. What do you reckon do I do it good?"
(thinking  suck it then) "yeah go on then"
suck suck suck....
"You aren't going to some in my mouth are you, cos I don't do that you know?"
suck suck suck....

Yeah see your point,  I like that not so much. 

[Roth]

Music or worse radio playing in the room or clocks deliberately set forward by 5/10 minutes.

Fast running clocks seems a pretty standard ploy.  Best always to arrive early and do a time check with her so your clear as to how long you have got.

[BogBog1]

Steel Panther - Asian Hooker 

If anyone here knows it that is....

I'm in South Korea, broke out with gonorrhea
Now I totally figured it out that's why it hurts when I go pee
I feel like a jerk 'cause my dick won't work
It's like I got punched in the nuts by a dude who knows tai chi

Quality song!

[FLYING BLUE]

I don't have many but here goes;

Girls that lie about their age - that's most of them then....
The infamous '10 commandments' - "dont touch this, no fingers etc etc
Unclean / unhygenic girls - the nasty niff brigade
Girls who try to make you cum inside the first 5 mins & then consider its game over....
Fake false sexual moaning
Moaning (generally) - about the weather, her pimp, the agency ad infinitum
Girls who convieniently have "no change luv" for a £20 note
Smokers
Clock watchers
Junkies
Girls who wank you so hard and fast the your cock almost snaps
Girls who keep their eyes closed during the need - I know I'm ugly - I dont need reminding
Fake tits
Girls who offer CIM and then pretend to cough as the money shot escapes and you end up slotting it onto the pillow
Showers that dont work, have no soap, or are freezing / scalding - if the shower don't work, how the hell is SHE keeping clean?
Skids down the toilet - yep, seen it several times - bloody hell, clean it up you dirty twat!
Girls who dont try to even chat with you - on any level
East Euro girls.....most of them at least
Girls who think OWO is simply a matter of bobbing up and down & your knob with an open mouth for a couple of mins

More to follow

[tomcat600]

`sorry i cant go on top, i have a bad back. `  No problem i shall just destroy you from behind.