Advice wanted - Retired WG

[here4fun]

Ladies & Gents

Long (and intentionally vague) story, please bear with me.

A couple of years ago, I had a regular WG in my home town; I should add that the place is a bit small and somewhat of a punting desert, some tourers but nothing to get excited about.   

We'll call the lady in question Julia, that being nowhere near her real name.  Not stunning, but chatty, personable and f***ing electric whilst horizontal; I was seeing her a few times a month, my place or hers, and everything was tickety-boo.  Then I ended up moving away for two-and-a-bit years with work, but moved back home last year. Julia's old working number wasn't answering so I dropped a note through her door (nothing explicitly alluding to our previous encounters, just a "Hi, it's Paul, give me a shout if you fancy a coffee"), heard nothing back and thought "Oh well, never mind, life goes on". 

Coming back from getting the car serviced today and there she is at a bus stop; so I duly stop and offer her a lift, as you do.  Within 2 mins Julia has made it clear that she isn't working any more - "I've got a full-time job now, besides which it was beginning to do my head in!".  Despite my asking if she'd reconsider, 2 or 3 times, the reply was still "No". 

By the time I'd dropped her off in the city centre I had her number (she took mine and rang it) and a promise to meet up for coffee "and we'll take it from there".  She did also mention, unnecessarily I thought, that she hadn't dated anyone for ages. 

Now here's my quandary.  I have no intention of seeing Julia on a "relationship basis", but I do want to get back to our previous footing.  Best way to achieve this?

1.  Take her out for dinner, get her slightly merry (she's not a huge drinker) and offer an obscene amount (hundreds of ££££s) for a one-off.  Then, once the door has been unlocked, look to get back to more sensible sums of cash. 
2.  Turn on the charm till I get into her knickers on a "friends with benefits" arrangement and then look to make it a commercial arrangement. 
3.  Let it be, accept that she has moved on, and treat it as "One of the ones who got away". 


Any and all sensible replies gratefully received

Cheers

P

[SeekingtheTruth]

I would have say option 3 myself.

Is she has said several times that she isn't interested in a "working" relationship then I would leave it be. Go for a coffee by all means but it looks like she is fully integrated into the real world now and would be looking for a proper relationship.

By trying to force the relationship back into what it used to be you are only a short jump from what could be considered stalker territory.

Just my 2 cents.

[Makka124]

You need to be careful she stated she doesn't want to go back to being a working girl anymore and with the yes reply it could be that she maybe looking for a relationship but she could be lonely and looking for sex. You need to play sensible and say in this many dates to get in her knickers after that then she looking for a long term relationship I think I could be wrong also

[here4fun]

I would have say option 3 myself.

Is she has said several times that she isn't interested in a "working" relationship then I would leave it be. Go for a coffee by all means but it looks like she is fully integrated into the real world now and would be looking for a proper relationship.

By trying to force the relationship back into what it used to be you are only a short jump from what could be considered stalker territory.

Just my 2 cents.

Yeah, I see where you're coming from.  That said, I'm not looking to "force" her back into our previous fun & games, I guess I'm more trying to get a woman to change her mind to my benefit (for once)!!  Also, she's been in and out of WG world numerous times before now, maybe I should've mentioned this in my first post.

Thanks though. 

[cockneybstrd]

In the words of the over rated Beatles

'Let it be' (Option 3)

[Dani]

If she was willing to work as a prossie again then she would put up a profile and do it.  The fact she had to say no three or four times says that you are not willing to believe she doesn't want to suck your cock for cash.

She has quit.  Leave her be.  what the hell happened to discretion?  How would you like it if you quit punting as wife was suspicious or had a new relationship and she rolled up at your work or home and started basically saying she wont take no for an answer and you should start paying her for sex again?
You wouldn't.  So why should it be any different for her.  I bet you she does not ring you and probably took your number just to shut you up. 
If she wanted to do just a bit of work on the side then she would have a list of a few trusted regulars and would not want to see someone who could not take no for an answer.

[smiths]

Ladies & Gents

Long (and intentionally vague) story, please bear with me.

A couple of years ago, I had a regular WG in my home town; I should add that the place is a bit small and somewhat of a punting desert, some tourers but nothing to get excited about.   

We'll call the lady in question Julia, that being nowhere near her real name.  Not stunning, but chatty, personable and f***ing electric whilst horizontal; I was seeing her a few times a month, my place or hers, and everything was tickety-boo.  Then I ended up moving away for two-and-a-bit years with work, but moved back home last year. Julia's old working number wasn't answering so I dropped a note through her door (nothing explicitly alluding to our previous encounters, just a "Hi, it's Paul, give me a shout if you fancy a coffee"), heard nothing back and thought "Oh well, never mind, life goes on". 

Coming back from getting the car serviced today and there she is at a bus stop; so I duly stop and offer her a lift, as you do.  Within 2 mins Julia has made it clear that she isn't working any more - "I've got a full-time job now, besides which it was beginning to do my head in!".  Despite my asking if she'd reconsider, 2 or 3 times, the reply was still "No". 

By the time I'd dropped her off in the city centre I had her number (she took mine and rang it) and a promise to meet up for coffee "and we'll take it from there".  She did also mention, unnecessarily I thought, that she hadn't dated anyone for ages. 

Now here's my quandary.  I have no intention of seeing Julia on a "relationship basis", but I do want to get back to our previous footing.  Best way to achieve this?

1.  Take her out for dinner, get her slightly merry (she's not a huge drinker) and offer an obscene amount (hundreds of ££££s) for a one-off.  Then, once the door has been unlocked, look to get back to more sensible sums of cash. 
2.  Turn on the charm till I get into her knickers on a "friends with benefits" arrangement and then look to make it a commercial arrangement. 
3.  Let it be, accept that she has moved on, and treat it as "One of the ones who got away". 


Any and all sensible replies gratefully received

Cheers

P

Very definitely i would choose 3 and let it be.

[SeekingtheTruth]

Yeah, I see where you're coming from.  That said, I'm not looking to "force" her back into our previous fun & games, I guess I'm more trying to get a woman to change her mind to my benefit (for once)!!  Also, she's been in and out of WG world numerous times before now, maybe I should've mentioned this in my first post.

Thanks though.

Force is a bad choice of words but I only used it to get the point across. Dangerous game you're playing there if you go for it 

[cockneybstrd]

Out of interest of me sticking my beak in

Do you reckon you have a bit of E.A.S when it comes to her.

Anyway she has your number now and if she does want to meet for a 'Coffee' she will contact you. And if being a pro$$ie was doing her head in then you should be pleased she has quit even if its just for her own mental health.

[Matium]

A woman always has the right to choose.

If she doesn't want to be a prostitute any more then you have to accept her decision.

However, you said she has retired several times already.

She has your phone number and you have hers.

Just send her a text asking her to get in touch with you if she ever decides to go back on the game.

It wouldn't be a good idea to meet her for a coffee.

Leave the ball in her court and let her make the next move.

[Salt]

Leave her alone; she's repeatedly said no to a paid sex arrangement and you are not interested in a romantic involvement.

Simples 

[PrinceofLDN]

Listen to Dani

sounds like you probably got the wrong signals from what actually happened

[sarahjayneleeds]

Coming back from getting the car serviced today and there she is at a bus stop; so I duly stop and offer her a lift, as you do.  Within 2 mins Julia has made it clear that she isn't working any more - "I've got a full-time job now, besides which it was beginning to do my head in!".  Despite my asking if she'd reconsider, 2 or 3 times, the reply was still "No".

By the time I'd dropped her off in the city centre I had her number (she took mine and rang it) and a promise to meet up for coffee "and we'll take it from there".  She did also mention, unnecessarily I thought, that she hadn't dated anyone for ages. 

Sorry to be blunt but  just to put a spin on it. She was in your car and by your own admission you asked her two or three times if she would reconsider and repeatedly told No, she may of took this has you hassling her. She may of given you her number and agree to meet for a coffee for you to shut the F**k up. She may of rung yours to make sure it was right so  she can block it or make sure she never answers the call.

She may of "unnecessarily mentioned" she hadn't dated anyone for ages to be translated as If you think we are going out on a date, then you are barking up the wrong tree.

In short, I doubt this woman is interested at all in seeing you paid or not. She has told you numerous times she has given up working I'd give it up if I were you as your actions of notes through her door and the above could easily be mistaken for stalking.

[vorian]

Option three, without a doubt.

[SirFrank]

Option 3. She has your number leave the ball in her court. If you don't want to see her on a date show her some respect and let her get on with her life

[here4fun]

Cheers all

A definite "let it be" it is. 

Always good to get advice from those in the know!!

Thanks again

[Bangers and Gash]

 

We'll call the lady in question Julia, that being nowhere near her real name.  Not stunning, but chatty, personable and f***ing electric whilst horizontal; I was seeing her a few times a month, my place or hers, and everything was tickety-boo.  Then I ended up moving away for two-and-a-bit years with work, but moved back home last year. Julia's old working number wasn't answering so I dropped a note through her door (nothing explicitly alluding to our previous encounters, just a "Hi, it's Paul, give me a shout if you fancy a coffee"), heard nothing back and thought "Oh well, never mind, life goes on". 

 

Despite your implied C'est la vie attitude, I'd guess you have serious boundary issues. Why would you stick a note through her door after 2 years? What if she was married with kids? What if she was in a violent relationship and your little note had earnt her a broken jaw?

When she said that she'd retired because punters were ''doing her head in'', are you sure she wasn't talking about you?

[Rochdull lad]

... Then I ended up moving away for two-and-a-bit years with work, but moved back home last year. Julia's old working number wasn't answering so I dropped a note through her door (nothing explicitly alluding to our previous encounters, just a "Hi, it's Paul, give me a shout if you fancy a coffee"), heard nothing back and thought "Oh well, never mind, life goes on". 

Fwiw, I agree with the advice to let the matter rest.

For me, the key point is that it sounds like a minimum of 4 - 5 months since you dropped the note through her door and she made NO contact with you in that time.

Your thought, when you heard nothing back was the right one, imo.

In the words of the sometimes under-appreciated Beatles, "Ob-la-di; Ob-la-dah; life goes on."

[taplow]

Hi here4fun, I can see your dilemma. Though you don't want to have a relationship with her, of course you are keen for her to become a prostitute again.  I suppose option number 1, where you get her "slightly merry" and then offer her an obscene amount of money for sex and then slowly reduce it might leave her dissatisfied and bitter, so no good for you.  Also option 2 has problems for you as well.  Yes of course you could  use your "charm" and seduce her for free, but how would you slowly turn this into a commercial arrangement?  Tricky.  Whatever you decide, don't go for option 3.  Don't let it be. She has no right to move on. 

[LanceVance]

I concur with what everyone else has said. Just let her go. She has your number so IF she wants to start anything she will call, but it is up to her.

[cockneybstrd]

Hi here4fun, I can see your dilemma. Though you don't want to have a relationship with her, of course you are keen for her to become a prostitute again.  I suppose option number 1, where you get her "slightly merry" and then offer her an obscene amount of money for sex and then slowly reduce it might leave her dissatisfied and bitter, so no good for you.  Also option 2 has problems for you as well.  Yes of course you could  use your "charm" and seduce her for free, but how would you slowly turn this into a commercial arrangement?  Tricky.  Whatever you decide, don't go for option 3. Don't let it be. She has no right to move on.

She has no right to move on. Fucking hell your other post show you to be a troll and this one proves it.

If I am wrong then fair enough but it would make you total sad cunt if your not a troll

[taplow]

She has no right to move on. Fucking hell your other post show you to be a troll and this one proves it.

If I am wrong then fair enough but it would make you total sad cunt if your not a troll

I'm sorry, I'll go lighter on the irony next time. 

[Gordo987]

Daftest fucking thing I've ever heard of - don't give up the day job (as they say) 

[Pompoy123]

Hi here4fun, I can see your dilemma. Though you don't want to have a relationship with her, of course you are keen for her to become a prostitute again.  I suppose option number 1, where you get her "slightly merry" and then offer her an obscene amount of money for sex and then slowly reduce it might leave her dissatisfied and bitter, so no good for you.  Also option 2 has problems for you as well.  Yes of course you could  use your "charm" and seduce her for free, but how would you slowly turn this into a commercial arrangement?  Tricky.  Whatever you decide, don't go for option 3.  Don't let it be. She has no right to move on.

FUCK Me please tell me you're taking the piss 

[here4fun]

Hi here4fun, I can see your dilemma. Though you don't want to have a relationship with her, of course you are keen for her to become a prostitute again.  I suppose option number 1, where you get her "slightly merry" and then offer her an obscene amount of money for sex and then slowly reduce it might leave her dissatisfied and bitter, so no good for you.  Also option 2 has problems for you as well.  Yes of course you could  use your "charm" and seduce her for free, but how would you slowly turn this into a commercial arrangement?  Tricky.  Whatever you decide, don't go for option 3.  Don't let it be. She has no right to move on.

Dullard as I am, guys n girls, even I can see he's taking the piss.  Hugely. 

[jcdmj12]

I'n confused.  Why does it have to be a paid arrangement?  If she's up for a friends with benefits arrangement, why not take her up on that, as long as you're clear on the boundaries?   

[wristjob]

I'n confused.  Why does it have to be a paid arrangement?  If she's up for a friends with benefits arrangement, why not take her up on that, as long as you're clear on the boundaries?   

That was my initial reaction, but i think she would have said if she wanted to.

Best bet is delete her number. Delete it from the calls list - gone totally. If she texts/calls then suggest whatever, if not forget it.

You offered to pay her for sex. She didn't suggest a relationship and she could have suggested casual sex, but didn't. Really asking more than once was seriously pushing the boundaries IMO. Once fair enough, but after she said "no" it becomes aggro.

Punting is a little fantasy world we go to  - don't confuse it for the real world.

[CBPaul]

Put a note through her door  if her working phone and adverts / profile are no longer she clearly isn't working. I would be livid if some prossie started phoning or texting me saying she was back in area, fancy another hour of debauchery at the same hotel. 

I agree with the poster above, an element of EAS here, she has made it perfectly clear that she's no working so move on before you become a stalker.

[Roland D Hay]

Sounds like this might be your only option so I's leave it if I were you!

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[Glader]

She gave you her number for a reason

Women always think before giving out their number.

Take her for coffee and offer her choice 2 or 3.

Worst case you catch up and get closure

Best case it turns out to be more
Fun.

Better than not knowing.

Don't force any reaction though - be open.

She may have quit for a reason - the fact she gave you her number means she has unfinished business or wouldn't mind a free meal.

Good luck. Enjoy.

P.S be open to the 10% possibility of her viewing this forum and now knowing your thoughts. (Might even help you:p)