some people have a short refractory period and others a longer one. Even when I was in my mid-twenties 10 years ago I couldnt cum twice in 1 hour.
The refractory period is a fascinating subject which as I posted in the other recent similar thread I became slightly obsessed with researching and investigating some years ago, both from a male and female perspective.
Apologies then for the length of this self indulgent post but hopefully may of interest to some?
Once we have achieved orgasm and ejaculated (although they are not necessarily the same thing) we temporarily lose the ability to repeat the process, manifested by loss of erection and most importantly desire.
It is thought this is one of nature’s cruel tricks in that an efficient procreation process relies on high sperm levels and the rest period allows reserves to be replenished. It may also be a protective mechanism to prevent physical damage to the penis. That said humans have fought to overcome this natural phenomenon.
Now the exact mechanism for this is not fully understood and for anyone interested in the neuroscience there is a lengthy discussion here which highlights the complexities and anomalies in particular. It’s heavy going though!
External Link/Members OnlyWhat is clear is that a complex system is operating within our bodies and that the exact mechanism probably doesn’t really matter in as much as there are two main effects. One is physiological in nature in that the process causes the blood vessels in the penis to constrict and the second one is cerebral in nature in that we simply ‘lose interest’. Libido vanishes and at a very rapid rate.
We will have all experienced this cerebral effect to varying levels, and in some it can be almost Jekyll and Hyde in nature and we go from a ‘rampant beast in the bedroom’ to feeling really down or falling asleep. In the punting scenario many cannot wait to get dressed and out of the room! (although with punting there may well be other reasons for the flight reaction) Feelings of guilt may ensue for some. This can go beyond a simple refractory period to last for much longer periods of time days or even weeks known as post orgasm dysphoria or simply the ‘blues’. This latter condition affects both sexes.
Now the length of this refractory period will vary and we are told that this average time can be from a few minutes in a teenager, increasing to 30 to 60 minutes in our thirties and then up to 24 hours or more as we get nearer to our sixties. There are though considerable variations and some people even have no refractory period. The latter interested me in particular.
Another interesting variation is that the younger male may be capable of multiple pops in a new relationship, but this commonly reduces in longer relationships. This finding applies to older age groups also, but to a lesser degree. There are of course other health/physiological factors that come into play as we get older, including the natural gradual reduction in testosterone levels but this will have little effect for the majority until we reach our forties and beyond. Even into our fifties and sixties it is thought the majority will still have an ‘effective level’ of testosterone. The intriguing thing for me was the differences within just the lower age groups where other health factors are not present.
So the more I read and investigated the more it became obvious that arousal levels are the key factor in relation to the refractory period and one that can maybe be controlled in attempting to reduce it.
As we get older we find it more difficult to get aroused at a cerebral level. With sexual experience our brains require more powerful triggers to produce the same arousal levels we experienced as a teenager and in particular sustaining that arousal for longer. The arousal issue is not just relevant to the refractory period, but is major factor in many other situations which result in ED. How often do we read how many experienced punters have become jaded over time and lost the buzz? Been there done it etc. Arousal difficulties also links into the porn debate etc.
In relation to the refractory period I noticed when I first started using sildenafil recreationally that post ejaculation on some occasions I did not lose my erection at all, whereas on others it subsided very rapidly. Clearly the medication was counteracting the vasoconstriction that occurs post orgasm (as above) but on those occasions when it remained strong, it was because I had been exceptionally ‘turned on’ and the level of arousal in my head was still sufficient to counteract the hormonal changes occurring in my body.
So followed a period of further research and experimentation but most of all training. This rationale was not to reduce the length of the refractory period, but to eliminate it entirely and keep a level of continuing arousal post orgasm/ejaculation and no loss of erection by counteracting the afore mentioned hormonal mechanism which was reducing my libido at brain level.
I was successful in my quest and trained myself to do this. I was early fifties at the time. Saying its age related and accepting it is not necessarily valid.
Whilst there are many causes of sexual dysfunction and indeed they are often present in combination, 'getting your head right' is of paramount importance because that is where arousal is controlled.
