I can't recall any particularly witty one liners but an incident that will never leave my head is of a WG who was a "screamer".
Several years ago I had a meeting, at my place, with a 20 something French girl from an agency. She was slim, had a very beautiful face and, initially, was a little shy. Nothing about her demeanour or look warned me as to the fright I was about to get.
We are messing about in the bedroom and I'm doing oral on her. She was into it but after about 10 minutes she doesn't seem to be building up to anything and I'm starting to have confidence issues. Then, without warning, she pushed my head away and barked at me to get on my back. I've barely had time to react before she's on top of me. She's grinding on me with a back and forth motion while bolt upright and her hands are behind her head grabbing her hair. Her eyes are closed and god knows who or what she's thinking of. Almost immediately, she starts getting vocal. Ten seconds later she's loud and I'm finding it very amusing. 10 seconds after that she is screaming and I'm starting to wonder where this is going because she is getting louder by the second. I don't mean loud moaning, I mean screaming at a very loud volume. More unsettling than the volume is that noises she is making are unlike any I've heard from a woman before or since. They was no rhythm to them and, in all honesty, they sounded to me like the screaming of a woman who is terrified of someone or something. I'm not finding this very funny at all now because anyone in the street or in my building who might be hearing this and god knows how many people could at that very moment, would stop whatever they were doing and start thinking about contacting the authorities.
Fortunately, after about 40 seconds of this she orgasms and for anyone who is thinking, "you idiot, she's faked it," I would say that is theoretically possible that the noises and body movements were acted but I don't know how she faked the very sudden drenching my nether regions and bed got as she squirted.
Anyway, it is funny to look back on but for a few seconds there I was in quite a state. But lesson learned. I had her over 20 or so further times but was always prepared. Great big towel on the bed and a large extra pillow to hand. As soon as she was on top of me she would grab the pillow with both hands and push her face into it. That sufficiently muffled the noise to the point where I could concentrate on the issue to hand rather than listening out for the siren of a fast approaching police car.
