Could be About to be Outed as a Punter

[MaxDeane]

I don’t know what to do about this I need somewhere to record the situation, vent to people who might understand and asked for advice. FYI, I have been punting for about 2½ years.

I only started after having no sex or even physical contact with my wife for over a year. I was going to be on a business trip over 100 miles away from home today, so last night I checked who was available on AW in that area and found a newbie WG (zero feedback) but only been on for 2-weeks, 20yo, 5’3”, 8st, blonde, offering everything I wanted, profile pics with blurred face but all seemed legit.

I drop an e-mail last night, which was never opened (now deleted) and a text early this morning, seeing as she was a newbie I thought she could be a little nervous so was ready for a little hassle, but the profile had me properly interested.

Had a very positive text exchange, she readily agreed to all my requests, Slutty Teen St Trin girl roleplay, spanking, all usual’s & Anal. We were just about to agree a time when she asked if I could send a pic so she might know who to expect. I have never sent a photo to a WG before.

I had given a physical description of myself, height & weight, not a monster or a movie star. This is the sort of thing you would never expect from an established girl and the sort of hassle I was expecting, and she was super-hot and we’d just agreed a fun packed hour, so I sent an image of me in the distance, yet still representative.

Get a text back saying

‘Sorry I can’t see u I kinda know u P***’ (my real first name).

  PANIC – I checked that I’d not included any personal info in the e-mail or text, all clear there, so I respond with

‘WOW, WTF, I assume discretion is assured’

Get an unsettling response

‘Erm I dunno what to do or say this is mega awkward’

I’m getting a little stressed here and send back

‘Do you kinda know me through business?’

And then comes the hammer blow

‘I’m friends with K**** (my wife’s real first name).

What the Absolute FUCK, how does a 20yo girl, more than 100miles from home know my wife and know me?

A bit of background here, I am in the process of divorcing my wife of 21 years, we have not had a real marriage for over 4 years now, and haven’t had sex since the spring of 2014. But I’m pretty sure that she has been keeping this quite with her friends.

So, I text back

‘Has she told you that I’m divorcing her and that we haven’t had sex in over 3½ years? I of course keep this aspect of my life very quiet as not to hurt anyone. This is also why I only seek services from people offering services well away from home. So to find someone who knows my soon to be ex-wife is almost unbelievable. I’m sorry to have put you in this position. However, as we’ve not met and the situation is what it is in my home life, I hope that you treat me with the professional courtesy anyone advertising on AW is asked to give.’

 
I get back the following unhelpful response

‘I don’t know what to say or do’

I give it a minute, then send

‘I can’t help you there, I would only consider if sharing this new information helps anyone, you, me or K****?’

Get another unhelpful response

‘I didn’t even want to do escorting. I’m losing my home and today was my last chance to sort what I needed. And now this. I’m screwed’

I give this some thought and try to keep calm and reply with

‘I’m really sorry to hear that, look I’m not a bad guy, all I’m doing on AW is satisfying a physical need without having an affair. I’m a good dad to my grown up kids, I financially support K**** and will continue to do so after the divorce. If you feel you need to share this information, more harm will be caused in an already difficult situation.'

That is where I left it, there has been no further contact.

So, what should or can I do now?

I have some level of protection, I am self-employed and fairly independently wealthy, I support my wife & kids, and due to my earning potential the Court will certainly order maintenance, so I'll continue to have to support her.

I work in a very male dominated profession with plenty of divorced guys who I know have punted, or at least get regular lap dances, so don't shy away from paying for it, so I'm sure they would understand situation if it ever came up.

My wife and I live extremely separate lives, we don't holiday together, I don't know any of her friends, she either isn't friendly with or doesn't know any of my friends. We don't hang out with each others family, I barely see mine.

I don’t feel guilt over seeing WG's, I never slept with an escort while we were having a physical relationship and only started after the wife turned off the tap and I'd tried for a year to rekindle the relationship with nothing but disgust from her. I always treat WG's respect, never force anyone to do anything that they don't want to. I have spare cash, so I spend the way I spend it, it's my hobby. I never question the way she spends my money. When we divorce she will be getting a big chunk of cash she didn't earn.

My kids are 18 (son) & 20 (daughter), they both support me in the divorce, they see how I have the shitty end of the stick, both believe that my wife has been living a single persons life for the last 4-years and in the past have both said that they wouldn’t blame me if I was sleeping with other people.

I’ve not been outed yet, but no matter what the sob story a WG shouldn’t be advertising services on AW if she's not willing to work within the mutual discretion it is based on.

I guess I’m seeking advice on whether I should try to get ahead of this. I’m wondering if I should come clean to the people that matter to me like my kids like and business partners. Or do I leave it?

Do I out the girl? I don’t have a face picture of her but I’ve screenshot all her information, and next chance I get I’m going to check my wife’s phone to see I can match the contact number to find a real name.

Should I name her as a potential outer on AW, UKP & UKE?

She hasn’t done it yet and she may not do it, so I don’t think I should name her today, if she does do it then obviously I’ll let you guys know to steer clear.

Should I clear my history on AW or cancel my account, she has my username so can see my previous feedback, 27?

If I were to come clean there would of course be some fallout, but also a slight benefit, the wife is dragging her heels on the divorce, not because she still loves me but because she has a very comfy life, doing what ever she wants and having me to pay for it and as I don’t know any of my wife’s friends and she doesn’t really know any of mine the social impact would be limited.

But there is always the chance that my wife could go psycho and send emails to all my email contacts saying 'Did you know my husband uses prostitutes' this is possible and would cause professional embarrassment, but the people who matter would live with this as long as I keep making them money.

So, yeah any advice guys I’m willing to listen to your suggestions.

[lewisjones23]

could it be the wife who has set up the profile?

do you tell her where you are going to work?

have you ever done anything to give her reason to possibly plant a catfish?

[HarryZZ]

I'm not sure why she would out herself in this situation, particularly after saying she didn't really want to do it.

But if I'm honest I read much of your post twice and still can't understand how she knew it was you, your description could have matched that of 1000 men living within a couple of miles of her, I can't believe that her instant thoughts about a physical description is that of a man miles away, unless there's something else you're not telling us about the comms.

[RedKettle]

Not helpful but you are one unlucky bastard for this to happen and I am truly very sorry.

I am not sure that there is much you can do other than sit tight and hope for the best.  Given that it is a friend of your wife and she will have your AW details I cannot see any potential to deny - unless you think you can brazen it out and say that it is all a conspiracy your wife has cooked up to screw you in the divorce court.  In which case delete all traces of your online presence now.  However that will require some balls.  (As i reflect on this you might get away with it - it is such a long shot that people might not believe you would have accidentally fallen on a friend of your wife.  Although that relies on you having used a punting phone for the texts.)

You would hope that the WG will not want her escorting broadcast around - she should realise that your wife may tell everyone.

[MaxDeane]

I don't think the wife knew where I was going, it was a new location for me.

Catfish is of course possible, but she has been home for a while, I know she has her phone with her, things are as frosty as ever, but no new edge to the frostiness.

I'm assuming the WG has not spilt the beans yet.

The AW profile is still active and stating Available, now moved location, so likely touring. New location is somewhere I never visit. So I don't think its a catfish.

[RedKettle]

I'm not sure why she would out herself in this situation, particularly after saying she didn't really want to do it.

But if I'm honest I read much of your post twice and still can't understand how she knew it was you, your description could have matched that of 1000 men living within a couple of miles of her, I can't believe that her instant thoughts about a physical description is that of a man miles away, unless there's something else you're not telling us about the comms.

he sent a photo!!!

[Conker]

You should consider how she has found out all that information about you from simple text, is your phone number link to social websites such as Facebook,
best always use punting phone usless you trust WG, never link your number to social sites, use different user names for different sites, have a separate email account for business and pleasure etc....

[Bangers and Gash]

Didn't the OP bother to read the many threads about buying a £10 throw away phone? 

[MaxDeane]

I'm not sure why she would out herself in this situation, particularly after saying she didn't really want to do it.

But if I'm honest I read much of your post twice and still can't understand how she knew it was you, your description could have matched that of 1000 men living within a couple of miles of her, I can't believe that her instant thoughts about a physical description is that of a man miles away, unless there's something else you're not telling us about the comms.

I did send a Pic, but like I said, it was of me in the distance taken on an iPhone, when zoomed in it is representative of me, if she has either seen me in the past or seen other pics of me she would know it was me.

I don't know what would have been worse, if I hadn't sent a pic and actually turned up I have had a change to explain? Would she have just cancelled?

[billybobsmith]

Could she have recognised you through knowing your son or daughter, who are both around the same age?  Uni?

[hantshagger]

Only you will know what to do but from the responses in red, it seems pretty clear that she hasnt worked out what to do either.  It may appear she could do with some guidance as to how to handle it . I would recommend respond to her first, making it clear the need for discretion on both sides, and based upon the info youve already given her, make it clear she needs to be discreet, but also be clear that you wont be meeting up (too much danger there!).  Take the lead here I would say, as she doesnt know what to do!

Dont give her any more info, about you though, try and gather info about her, so if necessary you can use it later on, but no point causing additional aggro by outing before she has done anything to you,

keep a low profile online for a bit..... rely on calls only from a 'punting' phone (and not one with internet/ camera access etc) for any bookings at the mo, i would say....

[manc36]

 You use a punting phone or your regular phone ?

No chance she has just put your number into face book search engine ? I would do the same with hers now just in case.

[vw]

I did send a Pic

absolute lunacy, hope your moment of madness does'nt cause too much problems, maybe this prossie has things to lose too?

Would delete AW now so your history and pms disapear for starters.

[Lilywhite]

I would imagine she's found out your name via something to do with your number or phone (quite often I get client's real names come up on facebook as people you may know, or on snapchat) and is trying to get some money from you.... why else would she mention not wanting to escort or financial issues?

[threechilliman]

Has she actually threatened to out you or not?

[MaxDeane]

Could she have recognised you through knowing your son or daughter, who are both around the same age?  Uni?

My kids have very 'New Age' names, thanks to the wife, I would have expected the WG to have mentioned these.

My assumption right now is the WG is a gym bunny friend of the wife, this is where she spends 15-20hrs a week and takes classes with loads of young totty

[Lilywhite]

My kids have very 'New Age' names, thanks to the wife, I would have expected the WG to have mentioned these.

My assumption right now is the WG is a gym bunny friend of the wife, this is where she spends 15-20hrs a week and takes classes with loads of young totty

How would she know it was your wife, you- some random punter?
Most likely she's searched your number, found out your details and decided to scare the crap out of you for some sort of financial gain.

[Chorley]

While you have some sympathy from me, I think you've left yourself wide openOP. You're absolutely mad to send a pic.
NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER, reveal personal details to a WG.
Many are complete scumbags with questionable morals  who'll think nothing of ruining punter's lives for monetary gain, or just because they're nasty pieces of work and want to fuck up people's lives. Look at the
thread where the WG made up rape allegations

Having said that, I hope it all gets sorted. 

[MaxDeane]

You should consider how she has found out all that information about you from simple text, is your phone number link to social websites such as Facebook,
best always use punting phone usless you trust WG, never link your number to social sites, use different user names for different sites, have a separate email account for business and pleasure etc....

Phone is not linked to any social media

Didn't the OP bother to read the many threads about buying a £10 throw away phone? 

True that I only use one phone, but call then block after meets, regularly clear text, email & browser histories, only update to a secure computer, password protected online billing, and lazy.

I don't think the number gave me away.

[YidArmy]

You sent a picture to a WG you had never met. That's asking for trouble especially off your personal number. Anyway i wouldn't worry, if she outs you she's basically telling the world she's a whore. Not something the average 20 year old girl wants to do.

[MaxDeane]

How would she know it was your wife, you- some random punter?
Most likely she's searched your number, found out your details and decided to scare the crap out of you for some sort of financial gain.

Also, phone not linked to Facebook, Snapchat, LinkedIn & hidden status on WhatsApp, anyway if that is how she found me then she would have trouble finding my wife's name, she is not on Facebook, WhatsApp or Snapchat so we're not tagged that way. Also, wife doesn't have my surname, never has.

I would imagine she's found out your name via something to do with your number or phone (quite often I get client's real names come up on facebook as people you may know, or on snapchat) and is trying to get some money from you.... why else would she mention not wanting to escort or financial issues?

No, nothing in the way of financial demands, if she did then I would just get ahead of it, like I said, some fallout but the relationship is dead and even if I'd been screwing all her friends the courts don't financially punish in that way so not a biggy.

[RedKettle]

Phone is not linked to any social media

True that I only use one phone, but call then block after meets, regularly clear text, email & browser histories, only update to a secure computer, password protected online billing, and lazy.

I don't think the number gave me away.

That is not quite the problem, having the texts from you is a piece of evidence that is hard to deny.  If they were form a punting phone you might be able to still deny, although the photo is a problem.

[pking_paul]

Dumb question maybe, but if you and the wife are never together OP, how would your wife's gym bunny friend or similar know it was you?

Unless it was from before you split?

Sounds like a sit tight and take control when you can situation. For starters get screen captures of her pages and shifting whereabouts. There may even be a clue in them?

Also, a man who doesn't want an affair is a good place to be, so seeing the odd WG might not be as bad news on that score.

Good luck

[Bikerboy]

I don’t know what to do about this I need somewhere to record the situation, vent to people who might understand and asked for advice. FYI, I have been punting for about 2½ years.

I only started after having no sex or even physical contact with my wife for over a year. I was going to be on a business trip over 100 miles away from home today, so last night I checked who was available on AW in that area and found a newbie WG (zero feedback) but only been on for 2-weeks, 20yo, 5’3”, 8st, blonde, offering everything I wanted, profile pics with blurred face but all seemed legit.

I drop an e-mail last night, which was never opened (now deleted) and a text early this morning, seeing as she was a newbie I thought she could be a little nervous so was ready for a little hassle, but the profile had me properly interested.

Had a very positive text exchange, she readily agreed to all my requests, Slutty Teen St Trin girl roleplay, spanking, all usual’s & Anal. We were just about to agree a time when she asked if I could send a pic so she might know who to expect. I have never sent a photo to a WG before.

I had given a physical description of myself, height & weight, not a monster or a movie star. This is the sort of thing you would never expect from an established girl and the sort of hassle I was expecting, and she was super-hot and we’d just agreed a fun packed hour, so I sent an image of me in the distance, yet still representative.

Get a text back saying

‘Sorry I can’t see u I kinda know u P***’ (my real first name).

  PANIC – I checked that I’d not included any personal info in the e-mail or text, all clear there, so I respond with

‘WOW, WTF, I assume discretion is assured’

Get an unsettling response

‘Erm I dunno what to do or say this is mega awkward’

I’m getting a little stressed here and send back

‘Do you kinda know me through business?’

And then comes the hammer blow

‘I’m friends with K**** (my wife’s real first name).

What the Absolute FUCK, how does a 20yo girl, more than 100miles from home know my wife and know me?

A bit of background here, I am in the process of divorcing my wife of 21 years, we have not had a real marriage for over 4 years now, and haven’t had sex since the spring of 2014. But I’m pretty sure that she has been keeping this quite with her friends.

So, I text back

‘Has she told you that I’m divorcing her and that we haven’t had sex in over 3½ years? I of course keep this aspect of my life very quiet as not to hurt anyone. This is also why I only seek services from people offering services well away from home. So to find someone who knows my soon to be ex-wife is almost unbelievable. I’m sorry to have put you in this position. However, as we’ve not met and the situation is what it is in my home life, I hope that you treat me with the professional courtesy anyone advertising on AW is asked to give.’

 
I get back the following unhelpful response

‘I don’t know what to say or do’

I give it a minute, then send

‘I can’t help you there, I would only consider if sharing this new information helps anyone, you, me or K****?’

Get another unhelpful response

‘I didn’t even want to do escorting. I’m losing my home and today was my last chance to sort what I needed. And now this. I’m screwed’

I give this some thought and try to keep calm and reply with

‘I’m really sorry to hear that, look I’m not a bad guy, all I’m doing on AW is satisfying a physical need without having an affair. I’m a good dad to my grown up kids, I financially support K**** and will continue to do so after the divorce. If you feel you need to share this information, more harm will be caused in an already difficult situation.'

That is where I left it, there has been no further contact.

So, what should or can I do now?

I have some level of protection, I am self-employed and fairly independently wealthy, I support my wife & kids, and due to my earning potential the Court will certainly order maintenance, so I'll continue to have to support her.

I work in a very male dominated profession with plenty of divorced guys who I know have punted, or at least get regular lap dances, so don't shy away from paying for it, so I'm sure they would understand situation if it ever came up.

My wife and I live extremely separate lives, we don't holiday together, I don't know any of her friends, she either isn't friendly with or doesn't know any of my friends. We don't hang out with each others family, I barely see mine.

I don’t feel guilt over seeing WG's, I never slept with an escort while we were having a physical relationship and only started after the wife turned off the tap and I'd tried for a year to rekindle the relationship with nothing but disgust from her. I always treat WG's respect, never force anyone to do anything that they don't want to. I have spare cash, so I spend the way I spend it, it's my hobby. I never question the way she spends my money. When we divorce she will be getting a big chunk of cash she didn't earn.

My kids are 18 (son) & 20 (daughter), they both support me in the divorce, they see how I have the shitty end of the stick, both believe that my wife has been living a single persons life for the last 4-years and in the past have both said that they wouldn’t blame me if I was sleeping with other people.

I’ve not been outed yet, but no matter what the sob story a WG shouldn’t be advertising services on AW if she's not willing to work within the mutual discretion it is based on.

I guess I’m seeking advice on whether I should try to get ahead of this. I’m wondering if I should come clean to the people that matter to me like my kids like and business partners. Or do I leave it?

Do I out the girl? I don’t have a face picture of her but I’ve screenshot all her information, and next chance I get I’m going to check my wife’s phone to see I can match the contact number to find a real name.

Should I name her as a potential outer on AW, UKP & UKE?

She hasn’t done it yet and she may not do it, so I don’t think I should name her today, if she does do it then obviously I’ll let you guys know to steer clear.

Should I clear my history on AW or cancel my account, she has my username so can see my previous feedback, 27?

If I were to come clean there would of course be some fallout, but also a slight benefit, the wife is dragging her heels on the divorce, not because she still loves me but because she has a very comfy life, doing what ever she wants and having me to pay for it and as I don’t know any of my wife’s friends and she doesn’t really know any of mine the social impact would be limited.

But there is always the chance that my wife could go psycho and send emails to all my email contacts saying 'Did you know my husband uses prostitutes' this is possible and would cause professional embarrassment, but the people who matter would live with this as long as I keep making them money.

So, yeah any advice guys I’m willing to listen to your suggestions.

I would have gone radio silent at her message ‘I kinda know you P***’.
And would deny anything after that.
Maybe she did know your wife maybe she didn’t. Maybe the profile is your wife. Who knows. Fact is the more info you give to a stranger or a troll the more shit you get into.

Won’t help your divorce if your wife is connected but won’t be catalyst for it.
Hope things work out.

[threechilliman]

By the sounds of her replies, I'd say she thinks you know who she is and is probably as worried about being outed as you are. If you both say nowt, no harm done.

[mrpeterman]

Afirstly, shit circumstances sorry to hear this.

If it were I, I would do the following, delete everything I/e AW etc, then I would concoct a story YOUR phone lost/stolen and if the story does surface say someone is being malicious, you say your a successful businessman someone who knows your personal circumstances is fucking you about, it happens often on social media platforms just get a reasonable backstory ..ie bad business deal, someone knows your circumstances that would do this.

Yes it’s stretching it but create your story stick to it!!!! And never send a pic again

Hope it gets sorted for you

[george r]

never send a pic ever..buts its too late now..

[MaxDeane]

That is not quite the problem, having the texts from you is a piece of evidence that is hard to deny.  If they were form a punting phone you might be able to still deny, although the photo is a problem.

The whole situation is far from perfect, I've killed the AW account for now, see if I get any blackmail shit.

[MaxDeane]

General Update

Still no further contact from the WG and nothing from frosty wifey.

I took screenshots of everything from the phone then deleted, I've just reviewed the pics and spotted something that I didn't report correctly in the initial report, when the WG first said that she knew my wife she wrote her name with a K, but it is actually spelt with a C.

This was what convinced me that she does know her.

If it was a scam, like if somehow she has found my number and linked it somehow to an online record of my wife, then she would know that her name started with a C not a K. Hence I think she does know her.

During the year of trying to rekindle shit I did attend some gym classes with the wife, so would have been seen by a number of her gym friends.

I've killed my AW account and done a number of blind searches for records of me both on the site and from search engines, nothing to see there now.

[Jonestown]

No divorce court would be interested in you seeing wg’s unless you had spent all your money on them and left your family destitute, or given your wife a serious STI. I wouldnt worry about that aspect, but i would worry about the information you gave this girl, you can bluff about a lot of things, but if you have not had sex with your wife since spring 2014, then only two people should actually know that, and if the girl was to repeate that to your wife it would be pretty damming, and make the whole thing hard to deny. But what the hell, youre getting divorced anyway. I think maybe you need to protect your kids, women can be unbelievably spiteful in these situations, who knows what your wife will tell them. Id keep my head down and my fingers crossed, certainly dont do anything to agrivate the girl. Good luck.

[Mansell]

You are where you are and have cleared as much history as you can. Don't think there is much more you can do right now other than sit tight and keep quiet. Then act dumb and deny anything if challenged as a first try.

Good luck.

[EnglishRebecca121]

Maybe she did a reverse image search on your pic and googled your phone number which took her to your Facebook page ... she prob got the names of your kids and wife from social media

[mikexxlong]

the cunt just put the phone number/picture through a search program to see what comes up, phone numbers get accidentally get linked to all sorts because of all the social media crap
 around without people being aware...,

asking for a picture is part of the scam as it scares the shit out of the plonker who sent it thinking fuck she "knows" me and the whore can 'prove' i tried to get in her knickers in exchange for cash etc

the bullshit about not wanting to sell her ass ,being made homeless and so on is just a passive way of trying to extort money from you
hoping you would volunteer some cash thinking it would soothe the situation and hush them up ,instead of outright demanding money or  they would do this that and the other,
 because if they did make demands the victim could go to the police, they trace it and nick the scumbags for blackmail

your probably not the first one this cunt(s) has tried this shit with 

[OakTree]

You must have met this girl previously for her to recognise you from a shitty photo. By the sound of it and the age of your children you’re a middle aged man. How many twenty year old females are you going to know? I would imagine it would quite easy to work out.

I’ll be honest, I can’t help but think this story is highly unlikely. The chances of picking a girl a hundred miles a way who then asks for a face pic and who then says she knows your wife, is I would imagine next to impossible

I don’t know how but somehow, one way or another you’re being played. Either that or this whole story is a crock of shit.

[Clarkey]

I wouldn't stress too much, you're getting bent out of shape over not a lot. What's the worst that can happen, not much in the greater scheme of things. You're not a public figure, weren't shagging on work time, and it sounds as though most people who could find out about this wouldn't hold it against you in any case. So chill. I wouldn't give a shit if your wife finds out, so what. After 3 years of enforced celibacy she's lucky you haven't been sniffing round her mates, lol, well you know what I mean.  You've been a bloody saint.

My ex wife found out about an affair around the time I left, not the reason I was going anyway. It made not a jot of difference, sure she bad mouthed me to her folks, but who cares, they'll likely get fed a load of bull and hate you anyway, and after the divorce they are just other members of the public. Feck em. My daughter understands why I did now so all good.

I got rid of my leech 15 years ago and haven't looked back, she'd been taking the proverbial for years just like yours and finally admitted she never fancied me and was only with me as I was a nice guy and provided security. So, good luck, don't EVER fall on your sword financially like I nearly did. Trust me she'll be shacked up with some other mug soon enough, mine was before the ink on the divorce was dry . Get a good solicitor and fight for every penny. Your kids sound sorted and whatever happens do you honestly think they'll give a shit about what you attempted after the way you've been treated. Nah.

Play it very cool, DON'T contact the girl, she's likely winding you up and look forward to your single days. Life's about to change for the better. I envy you, I had a ball for a few years 

Enjoy.

[cueball]

There's a few school boy errors here.....

(1).. married man not using a punting phone (imo, essential for all punters, for when it goes tits up and stamping on a phone worth a tenner is no great heart breaker)

(2)... sending a pic (no pic is ever acceptable in any circumstances, pic request = instant bin fodder for me)

(3)... continuing the incriminating conversation (you should have denied you're P*** and played dumb on K***)

Op, I realise that is of no help and hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I fear you've dug an hole a little too deep to climb out of.

You could try the reverse logic now.... "aahh, yes, I recognise you now, does K*** know you're on the game?"

But, I still think you've painted yourself into a corner

[daviemac]

General Update

Still no further contact from the WG and nothing from frosty wifey.

I took screenshots of everything from the phone then deleted, I've just reviewed the pics and spotted something that I didn't report correctly in the initial report, when the WG first said that she knew my wife she wrote her name with a K, but it is actually spelt with a C.

This was what convinced me that she does know her.

If it was a scam, like if somehow she has found my number and linked it somehow to an online record of my wife, then she would know that her name started with a C not a K. Hence I think she does know her.

During the year of trying to rekindle shit I did attend some gym classes with the wife, so would have been seen by a number of her gym friends.

I've killed my AW account and done a number of blind searches for records of me both on the site and from search engines, nothing to see there now.

I'm confused, are you saying the WG spelt your wife's name wrong and that's what made you think she knew her.   

Surely if she did actually know her she would spell the name correctly.

[Finesurface]

the cunt just put the phone number/picture through a search program to see what comes up, phone numbers get accidentally get linked to all sorts because of all the social media crap
 around without people being aware...,

Suggestion for the OP here, put the photo you sent her into Google's reverse image search and see what crops up
External Link/Members Only

It might be after the horse has bolted but might at least explain how she knows (or doesn't as the case maybe) you

192.com might give you some clues as well - the amount of data available on us for just a few quid is remarkable

[Logamimo]

Sounds as if she has managed to get your name from your mobile phone account particularly if its a contract phone. Mobile phones are not that secure and like others have said its better to get a cheap PAYG phone so you are not linked to it. I don't think she has much on you really, so if I were in your shoes I would just sit tight, do nothing and call her bluff.

[MaxDeane]

Maybe she did a reverse image search on your pic and googled your phone number which took her to your Facebook page ... she prob got the names of your kids and wife from social media

Before closing the AW account and other changes I've made to things, I did a number of blind searches with different browsers and I couldn't find myself from my mobile number.

Like I said above, wife is not on any social media at all, and all mine are very infrequently used and none of them refer to my wife.

Due to their very individual names both my kids use pseudonyms online, so this is very unlikely.

So much points to her knowing the wife, but like another poster said if she does know the wife or me, revealing the details of this crossing of paths will effect her socially much more than me, pretty sure none of my friend would give a damn, they would probably just take the piss.

And it's not like I'll lose my job, unless I'm going to fire myself.

[scutty brown]

1) Theres nothing in your report to suggest she's made any kind of threat to you.
2) You say this girl is aged 20. Your daughter is aged 20. Have you considered the obvious? Where does your daughter live and work?

[Scottish_Kara]

1) Theres nothing in your report to suggest she's made any kind of threat to you.
2) You say this girl is aged 20. Your daughter is aged 20. Have you considered the obvious? Where does your daughter live and work?

I was thinking the same thing.

[MaxDeane]

You must have met this girl previously for her to recognise you from a shitty photo. By the sound of it and the age of your children you’re a middle aged man. How many twenty year old females are you going to know? I would imagine it would quite easy to work out.

I’ll be honest, I can’t help but think this story is highly unlikely. The chances of picking a girl a hundred miles a way who then asks for a face pic and who then says she knows your wife, is I would imagine next to impossible

I don’t know how but somehow, one way or another you’re being played. Either that or this whole story is a crock of shit.

Hi Oak, maybe your right, but it's not a crock, I'm nothing if not a straight shooter.

Could certainly be being played, no matter how much I've protected myself I may have left a sneaky backdoor open for shitty people.

I'll keep an eye on the WG profile to see where she pops up, if it starts to look more like a scam then I'll name and shame on here.

[stampjones]

She still needs money so ask if she wants to go ahead anyway. Presumably you found her attractive so you may as well get a fuck out of it

On a more practical note the ball is in her court. Anything you do could incite whatever it is you dont want to happen so really all you can do is tough it out.

One thing you could do is contact her under a different account and try and get more info?

Finally re sending photos - I’ve done a bit of SA and CL where often the girls want photos. I dont want to send my photo so I spent a few hours putting random names into google until I found someone that looked sufficiently like me and now I send that poor bastards photo to everyone.

[MaxDeane]

I wouldn't stress too much, you're getting bent out of shape over not a lot. What's the worst that can happen, not much in the greater scheme of things. You're not a public figure, weren't shagging on work time, and it sounds as though most people who could find out about this wouldn't hold it against you in any case. So chill. I wouldn't give a shit if your wife finds out, so what. After 3 years of enforced celibacy she's lucky you haven't been sniffing round her mates, lol, well you know what I mean.  You've been a bloody saint.

My ex wife found out about an affair around the time I left, not the reason I was going anyway. It made not a jot of difference, sure she bad mouthed me to her folks, but who cares, they'll likely get fed a load of bull and hate you anyway, and after the divorce they are just other members of the public. Feck em. My daughter understands why I did now so all good.

I got rid of my leech 15 years ago and haven't looked back, she'd been taking the proverbial for years just like yours and finally admitted she never fancied me and was only with me as I was a nice guy and provided security. So, good luck, don't EVER fall on your sword financially like I nearly did. Trust me she'll be shacked up with some other mug soon enough, mine was before the ink on the divorce was dry . Get a good solicitor and fight for every penny. Your kids sound sorted and whatever happens do you honestly think they'll give a shit about what you attempted after the way you've been treated. Nah.

Play it very cool, DON'T contact the girl, she's likely winding you up and look forward to your single days. Life's about to change for the better. I envy you, I had a ball for a few years 

Enjoy.

Best advice of the day.

Thinking about it, I really don't give a fuck if she finds out, but would feel shitty as it is the only Christmas present she'll be getting from me and I'm not that much of a cunt to think that is OK.

[MaxDeane]

I'm confused, are you saying the WG spelt your wife's name wrong and that's what made you think she knew her.   

Surely if she did actually know her she would spell the name correctly.

I know a lot of her friends spell her name with a K, see on cards and invites to socials, she just never corrects them

[MaxDeane]

1) Theres nothing in your report to suggest she's made any kind of threat to you.
2) You say this girl is aged 20. Your daughter is aged 20. Have you considered the obvious? Where does your daughter live and work?

1. No threat, or plea for hush money, or demands for cash.

2. Unfortunately, daughter still lives at home, I'm supporting her too.

[scutty brown]

But any chance she has a job on the side?

But you need to take this at face value.
No threats, no demands, no blackmail. Let it die.

[sean70]

Bloody hell what a fucking nightmare! I still can't get my head around how she knows you; something is simply not adding up here. Are you sure it is not your wife?

In addition the other lesson on this one for all is the photo. A massive no-no does not matter if you have a OH or not!

[YouOnlyLiveOnce]

You've said that you have searched online for your phone number.

You have NOT said that you have yet searched online for the picture you sent her.

DO IT NOW if you haven't already.

She sprung this on you when she got that pic.  Does ANYONE else have that pic?  Is it one that your wife, or daughter, or relative, or friend, could have put online even if YOU have not?

Most likely she traced your name and your wife's name from that, but doesn't have much else.  The sob-story is likely a lead-in to some sort of scam, but she can't deliver it if she can't talk to you, so block.  And sit this out.