I'm young, i punt, but the OH has turned the sex tap off.

[BlueRock]

Been in the exact same position as the OP, Depression is a  terrible illness and the meds will just dull her wit and sex drive. In my experience you will end up either in a sexless relationship which psychologists say is 10 or less times a year. Or you will end up with "service" sex where she just lies there.
You can try talking it out. If you leave and return she will probably show a LOT more interest for a month or so but don't be fooled it will die down again. Believe me I attract or am attracted to women with depression and what you describe is common. Dated several and loved 2 crazies and as much as I sorta liked the challenge, the lack of stability will wear you out as you get older. It seems proportional to attractiveness I found but why have a Ferrari that breaks down all the time, better a ford that you can ride regularly. It won't get better honestly.

[NigelF]

Most people have a trivial attitude toward depression because they don't understand it,

Yes, they don't understand the details, or indeed the exact nature of others mental health issues and how everything can vary etc etc. But I would argue that statements like: "If hers heads fucked it will stay fucked" are remarkably accurate and applicable to the vast majority. Sure, it doesn't apply to everyone but even to those, people who have demonstrated past issues are often more susceptible/likely to get them in the future.

It is a gross oversimplification but it's mostly accurate too. This mainly reflects the difficulty in treating most mental health issues.

I think most people are just trying to point out that not only is it not his responsibility, if he does try to take it on (which is admirable) it's often just not worth it - especially considering you can just get another gf who's much "easier" to deal with.

Basically, why choose the hard and "risky" option?

[Melfort212]

Dunno why any young lad would hang around anybody who is a single mother, is crazy or is not putting out... and the fat fucks who have been with every tom dick and harry (but don't get paid for it). 

There's a young bloke in my work place, 20 at most, who is engaged to a fat fuck who I know is a local bike. She's been with half his mates. Fuck that (but not literally). 

[OneOfaKind]

Yes that word bipolar
Comes out at last people do not normally have one thing wrong but several .

Not really. Depression is very common. 1 in 100 people get bipolar (usually at 17-19 years old) where 1 in 10 people get depression - according to the NHS.

What I would say to the OP is read up on bipolar, it's usually easy to spot the signs of it from the outside from their behaviour but it's rarely diagnosed until later on in life.

[NigelF]

Not really. Depression is very common. 1 in 100 people get bipolar (usually at 17-19 years old) where 1 in 10 people get depression - according to the NHS.

What I would say to the OP is read up on bipolar, it's usually easy to spot the signs of it from the outside from their behaviour but it's rarely diagnosed until later on in life.

Everything you've said just there is correct/decent advice. However, Bipolar disorder is a great example of something that is not easy to deal with (even if well-managed), thus, he really shouldn't have to deal it with it and certainly it's extremely unlikely to be "worth it" if he does. He's not family and has made no commitments to the girl - he should keep it that way.

[glassdoorman]

To recenter the discussion on OP's situation : one aspect that hasn't been mentioned is once she's realized how much it eats you (you'll spend many sleepless nights tossing and turning at her side, will begin to 'excuse' yourself nightly to the laptop in the other room, etc), and you might leave despite your obvious care, she will pull all the stops to keep you, ie, spread her legs one last time & produce a kid.

Besides the fact you yourself'll truly be fcked when that happens, you'll also have to live with the guilt of having brought an innocent into this world within an unstable union and maybe, dare I say, some inherited instabilities. Don't let it get to that because of what your pals might think. Cut your losses.

[MaxDeane]

Lots of good stuff in this thread.

I've got my own set of experiences with mental conditions, a soon to be ex-wife and who has had psychotic paranoid episodes, a daughter in her 20's who has BPD and an 18yo son with depression.

None of these should be taken lightly and I support them all financially and emotionally, even the the soon to be ex as keeping her on an even keel helps proceedings.

I've been lucky with my own mental state, and in the last couple of years that has been greatly helped by shagging the asses of a WG every month or so.

To the OP who started the thread, I know & feel your pain, but trust me on this point: -

Have as much sex as you can, whether you're young or old, whether it's free or for a price (and that does not just mean with WG's, as any married man will tell you that ever fuck has a cost), because, when you choose to look back on your life, you're never going say to yourself "I really regret having all that sex"

[OneOfaKind]

Lots of good stuff in this thread.

Mostly all based of the fact he isn't getting any sex though but appreciate this is a punting forum. Most just replied to the point he isn't getting any sex and don't understand that depression is mostly a short term health issue like any other health issue. Annoying the lack of understanding to the OP's situation and clear most commenters didn't read what the OP said properly 

Have as much sex as you can, whether you're young or old, whether it's free or for a price (and that does not just mean with WG's, as any married man will tell you that ever fuck has a cost), because, when you choose to look back on your life, you're never going say to yourself "I really regret having all that sex"

Too right. Fuck getting married 

Dunno why any young lad would hang around anybody who is a single mother

Complete rubbish it was never even mentioned she is a single mother FFS 

[bigmanbigman]

From above
depression is mostly a short term health issue


Very much
Not true
Is long term with biopola and other long term problems thrown in for good measure !!

[Proteus]

Things might improve...but then you might wake up and be 35 with kids and a mortgage and realise they haven't and now it's 100 times more difficult to end it.

Obviously if you are still in love with her then you need to talk to her and be honest and communicate together, but you do need to be frank with her about the sex and say directly to her that you don't want this absence of sex for your future. Ultimately you may have to move on and end it. It doesn't have to be messy and divide your social circle if you handle the break up maturely and sensitively. How can mutual friends be genuinely fucked off with you for ending it with her? "So, what should i have done? I wasn't happy but i should just stay with her forever just cause it'll be awkward at the pub on Saturday?". If they take sides and give you a hard time then sorry to say but they were her friends not yours.

Gotta put your happiness first, mate. Good luck.

[itk]

just get rid of her

21 with no marriage or kids to consider

not worth the lack of action - only get worse as well

This. With no kids to consider, bin her and enjoy your life

[TheRuiner]

Sounds like she's not that into you, though she probably doesn't know it herself.
Have you asked her why she no longer wants to have sex?
Don't worry about what people will think, if someone's judging you for ending an unhappy relationship they're not your friend although I doubt anyone will.  And while it may make social events a little awkward at first, it'll soon pass.
A small price to pay to avoid a lifetime of regrets buddy. Believe me.
Be kind but be firm. Get out now before it's not so simple.

[HUNT69]

Listen to the others it don't get any better just harder to finish

[bigmanbigman]

Op read whats been said dont take notice of the do gooders
Or the it will soon get better crowd .read up on depression and bipolar and make your own mind up.
Most here have regret of waiting years and burning their life up in poor relationships
You dont have to.

[Johnny87Brum]

I have been down this road, it started September 2014 and i ended it in May 2017 so about a month ago. I feel much better already and will continue to do so. It drove me into a bad phase of depression and it was the sole reason why i had a few punts. Things like what you are going through will have you asking questions about yourself when in reality the girl is the problem.

OP, dont have the same conversation with her over and over as you will end up wasting time. If you are adamant you want to give her a chance to sort things out, then give her only one chance. You are young, im fairly young i am only turning 30. I wasted alot of time trying to repair something that wasnt repairable, i dont want you to go through the same thing. Its fucking horrible. Find someone else, you will be much happier.

[solo traveler]

She's indicated that her lack in sex drive was down to her SSRI's - but now she's off them and is feeling better. but alas, nothing. 
This obviously sparked some alarm bells early on, was she cheating etc? I followed up on my suspicions and investigated with the conclusion that she was being faithful.

What she said may well be true. Women's bodies function a lot differently from men's.
I've known some ladies who have been in their 30s', still virgin, but still are not excited or interested in having sex.
Most of the time, women are just not into sex. Simple as that.
Yes, it's difficult for us men to imagine. The closest state is to imagine you having 2 punts consecutively, at this point, you will probably start hating sex if you are forced to have more, that's exactly how women's bodies are like most of the time. They don't really want / need sex.

Anyway, I find your choice wise and appropriate.
Maintaining a non-physical relationship with your current GF, while going punting every time you feel the need to release something.
That's the way it is, mate. Lots of elder punters are doing the exact same thing with their wives. You just can get used to that lifestyle a lot earlier.

Finally, I, myself, am single all the time. It saves so many troubles and worries.