anxiety

[rosebristol60]

how many of you suffer from anxiety, now i dont have sex very often, my partner went of sex 10 years ago and i was faithful all that time until last year when i discovered adultwork, so when i get the chance i really look forward to it and really want to do my best, but because i am looking forward to it so much i am scared of letting myself down and the anxiety kicks in, and the result is no erection, and this is what happened last week, i met a girl on adultwork who in the real world would be well out of my league, but as soon as we got naked the anxiety took hold, she was very sweet about it and we done other stuff beside penetration, but after, i felt i let myself down and was very dissapointed with myself, and she probably put me on her blocked list, i think i might stick to non penetrative meets like massaging just to take the pressure of myself.

[maxxblue]

...and she probably put me on her blocked list, i think i might stick to non penetrative meets like massaging just to take the pressure of myself.

Hang on a sec, where did that come from? Why would she put you on her blocked list? 

[Happylad]

Hang on a sec, where did that come from? Why would she put you on her blocked list? 

Of course she won`t - a nice easy session for her at full rates and without any of the hard work and no splodge to wipe up afterwards, you`ll be top of her list of favourite clients.

[S.X. MacHine]

The lack of erection is not from any physical cause, but from fear of failing to perform. In a sense, this becomes a self perpetuating prophesy.
The solution, therefore, is to eliminate the fear factor. I’d suggest 10mg of Cialis an hour or less  before meeting a sex worker. This should provide reassurance that the erection will happen.
Always bear in mind the wise words of Confucius- ‘Man who go to bed with sexual problem, wake up with solution in hand’.

[jesse4585]

I'd expect most of us had a bit of anxiety on our first few punts.

I know that was the case for me. I'm been a little anxious on the first punt every time I've got back into punting after a few years break due to relationships. Last time that happened I was in my 40s.   After my first few punts from a break though,  no nerves at all, and there's a good chance it will be the same for you.

Like others are saying, don't worry too much about upsetting the WG with erection problems.  They are used to it.

Sure have a few massage punts if that feels right. But you'll probably find full service punts start getting a lot better if you give it a few tries so it's no longer a new & unknown experience. 

[Charles Glass]

When you first start doing this that is a problem. I only started about a year ago and had the same problem, I didn’t even cum in my first 5 bookings. Yet I can get rock hard at home and cum in 10 mins. Most of my meetings are not full service even when it is on offer.

Like anything by doing it over and over it becomes more normal. Just keep doing it the nerves go away. You also might find a really good regular girl who you click with like I did and keep seeing her to built your confidence. Then go try it out on someone new.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

I think we've all had this at times not unusual it does get better with time. A decent girl whos good at her job does help. And as others have said she won't put you on her block list they like blokes who don't give them a hard time.

Hard is hammerinmg away at her for the best part of the meet.

Try to see a good regular, she'll more likey than not help you overcome this problem!

[RandomGuy99]

I was a bit nervous on my first punt and the advice the SP gave to me was just to go with the flow and relax.  That's what I did and I had no problems getting hard.   I suggest you try to relax before hand and not put so much pressure on yourself.  If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't then there are other things to do.  Relax and enjoy yourself the SP won't mind. 

[Home Alone]

Try to see a good regular, she'll more likey than not help you overcome this problem!

An excellent suggestion, imo, Watts.

My medication doesn't always do the trick for me, especially when I see some of the raunchier SPs. There was one such whom I used to see occasionally some years ago and on what proved to be my last visit to her, I had difficulty keeping hard.

She wasn't as 'sweet' as the SP referred to in the OP, but the remainder of my time with her was possibly the most vanilla session she had ever delivered. I remember thinking on my way home that my Regular, although usually a provider of GFE, would have put more effort into keeping me hard enough throughout my time with her.

I'm modifying this post in the light of what RandomGuy's just posted. 'Going with the flow' is easier if you're with a Regular, rather than if you - even if subconsciously - are aware of being out of your 'comfort zone' as I was on the occasion I described in my first paragraph. Pushing the boundaries doesn't always work.

[Charles Glass]

she won't put you on her block list they like blokes who don't give them a hard time.

No you won’t have been blocked, she will love you 

[Thecunninglinguist]

As you say you went with someone you would normally consider out of your league, then this could have contributed to your anxiety. Next time why not consider someone not quite so outwardly attractive, maybe a bit milfy who offers a solid gfe? Find one that is well reviewed and not a clock watcher, even if some have said she is a bit vanilla. Just till you get back on the horse, (or cowgirl) as it were.

[Shawy74]

I still get anxious and nervous even with girls ive seen many times,the more you agonise over it the worse it gets.i had a issue with not been able to cum sometimes,even happend on duo meet with starnat and honey for fucks sake,even blaming meself sometimes when it happend,jus gotta not think about and enjoy the ride,maybe try a few of the well reviewd girls on here.

Good luck mate and all the best with your future punts.

[freeze44]

I still get anxious and nervous even with girls ive seen many times,the more you agonise over it the worse it gets.i had a issue with not been able to cum sometimes,even happend on duo meet with starnat and honey for fucks sake,even blaming meself sometimes when it happend,jus gotta not think about and enjoy the ride,maybe try a few of the well reviewd girls on here.

Good luck mate and all the best with your future punts.

Well put and even the ones who boast about how good they are will have issues 

A good reg and accepting we not machines can help. Had times when just not felt it with a wg and so be it....shit happens!

[pythondan]

OP I can understand what you say about letting yourself down. Something similar happened to me in the past where I just could not get hard and the sense of frustration and regret at the wasted money was very powerful. The girl I was with was extremely chavvy and did not make much effort - in the end I could not wait to get away from her (this was in a now closed parlour 15'ish years ago). Most indie girls are a lot more understanding and will have seen this type of thing before.

My advice would be only to punt when you are feeling well and not tired. My less successful punts seem to have been when I have been worn out through work or having recently been unwell (just recovered from cough, cold etc.). Also time of day makes a difference to me - morning punts seem to bring the best out in me.

Also consider working on your general fitness - doing some regular exercise and watching what I eat has made a big difference to my general enjoyment of life and has made my punting more successful.

Finally I try to refrain from wanking for at least five days before a meet. HTH

[RLondon99]

I bet this is more common than admitted. So I will admit to it.

In the end I found the solution was not pills, or gym, or porn-avoidance, but thinking a bit harder about what I really want.

I had several GFE type meets where I was all take it slow, establish rapport, be natural, etc. Wasn’t working because it wasn’t really me in that moment. If I want a girlfriend I’ll find a girlfriend.

Now I’m more likely to say exactly what I want upfront and in rather plain language. Not having a lot of unsaid desires working away there is what turned it around. After all she’s heard it all before and more, why worry?

Strangely I now get more rapport than before. Plus I’ve been lucky to find a couple of fantastic girls who understand my stupid head only too well.

[Colston36]

how many of you suffer from anxiety, now i dont have sex very often, my partner went of sex 10 years ago and i was faithful all that time until last year when i discovered adultwork, so when i get the chance i really look forward to it and really want to do my best, but because i am looking forward to it so much i am scared of letting myself down and the anxiety kicks in, and the result is no erection, and this is what happened last week, i met a girl on adultwork who in the real world would be well out of my league, but as soon as we got naked the anxiety took hold, she was very sweet about it and we done other stuff beside penetration, but after, i felt i let myself down and was very dissapointed with myself, and she probably put me on her blocked list, i think i might stick to non penetrative meets like massaging just to take the pressure of myself.

Most of the girls I have seen are very sympathetic, and often feel they have failed as much as you so I think you are worrying needlessly. I trust you are getting a bit of chemical help. I find Cialis - or rather its cheap equivalent, Tadalafil - does the trick even in a small dose.

[neil_williams]

I dont punt often but never get nervous. I put it down to the fact myself and my ex wife were swingers for years before i first punted so never worry about getting it on with a stranger.

[rosebristol60]

thanks for all the replys and advice, its much appreciated.

[geoff 1171]

As you say you went with someone you would normally consider out of your league, then this could have contributed to your anxiety. Next time why not consider someone not quite so outwardly attractive, maybe a bit milfy who offers a solid gfe? Find one that is well reviewed and not a clock watcher, even if some have said she is a bit vanilla. Just till you get back on the horse, (or cowgirl) as it were.

Excellent advice.

[millbush]

Excellent advice.

Sure is I'd avoid any pills.

[tynetunnel]

I’ll admit to having anxiety and often not being able to cum. The thing is, it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy , the more you worry about not cumming, the more likely it is that you won’t cum, in my experience.

I’m sure I’ve posted about this before, so sorry if it bores anyone. But what worked for me is, I ‘know’ in advance I almost certainly am not going to cum. I tell the girl that I’m unlikely to cum, and it’s not a goal for me, but if I do, then great, if I don’t, it’s fine. This means she doesn’t feel that (a) it’s a line she has to get me over whatever happens (often leads to furious efforts) or (b) she doesn’t feel like in some way it’s her fault or I’m not having fun!

This makes her, and me, much more relaxed. And indeed sometimes I cum, sometimes I don’t. When it’s not a goal, or destination, it really does make for a much more relaxing time all round 

[Watfordpunter97]

I go for girls way out of my league (that's why I'm paying!!), I always need a nervous shit just after phoning them up and get trembles to the point where a few comment that I'm shaking but I just say that I'm excited to see them! I tend to relax as soon as I get the big boobs in my face to suck on

[Kool Keef]

I've had anxious moments in the past when punting, particularly when I first started, mine was mainly due to fearing 'condom wilt', the more I thought about it the worse it became, so it can become a vicious circle & a self full filling prophecy.
Over thinking things when it comes to a punt & sex is not helpful, just try & relax as much as possible & remember that it's meant to be fun & enjoyable & not a competition, easier said than done I know but it is achieveable.
I wouldn't worry about the WG, she'll have seen it all before & she definitely won't have blocked you just cos you couldn't 'perform'.
My advice would be walk before you run, if you've gone from no sex in a decade to a booking with a really hot WG that might be too big a leap, maybe start with a massage with a happy ending or a booking with a WG who isn't a hot stunner & just slowly build up your confidence & experience.

You ain't the first punter to experience these problems & you won't be the last.

Good luck & have fun 

[Handel2020]

It is definitely a mind f**k. I had the slightest doubt when I was on my way to a punt at LMP parties some years back. The lady was smoking hot and I only just managed to get hard.

I read about a guy who was having the same experience repeatedly when meeting women in bars / clubs. He would get them back to his place then couldn't perform. Sounds like an awful anxiety to have. As someone said earlier in the thread. If the woman is hot and you get lost in the moment that can do a hell of a lot. Otherwise try to think positively about what will happen. Perhaps practise at home just to show yourself that your body is fully capable. That way you know it is all in your thoughts.

[Charles Glass]

I've had anxious moments in the past when punting, particularly when I first started, mine was mainly due to fearing 'condom wilt', the more I thought about it the worse it became, so it can become a vicious circle & a self full filling prophecy.
Over thinking things when it comes to a punt & sex is not helpful, just try & relax as much as possible & remember that it's meant to be fun & enjoyable & not a competition, easier said than done I know but it is achieveable.
I wouldn't worry about the WG, she'll have seen it all before & she definitely won't have blocked you just cos you couldn't 'perform'.
My advice would be walk before you run, if you've gone from no sex in a decade to a booking with a really hot WG that might be too big a leap, maybe start with a massage with a happy ending or a booking with a WG who isn't a hot stunner & just slowly build up your confidence & experience.

You ain't the first punter to experience these problems & you won't be the last.

Good luck & have fun 

Great post that 

[Payyourwaymate]

how many of you suffer from anxiety, now i dont have sex very often, my partner went of sex 10 years ago and i was faithful all that time until last year when i discovered adultwork, so when i get the chance i really look forward to it and really want to do my best, but because i am looking forward to it so much i am scared of letting myself down and the anxiety kicks in, and the result is no erection, and this is what happened last week, i met a girl on adultwork who in the real world would be well out of my league, but as soon as we got naked the anxiety took hold, she was very sweet about it and we done other stuff beside penetration, but after, i felt i let myself down and was very dissapointed with myself, and she probably put me on her blocked list, i think i might stick to non penetrative meets like massaging just to take the pressure of myself.

You shouldn't be scared. You are there to have a good time, not perform. It's the WG that should be concerned about her performance if anything. You should take some time to try and think of how you view yourself and see what you can do to improve your self-esteem...otherwise you will keep having "pressure" and erection problems.

[winkywanky]

Always bear in mind the wise words of Confucius- ‘Man who go to bed with sexual problem, wake up with solution in hand’.

I always thought Confucius was a bit of a wanker to be honest.

[OakTree]

One of the major causes of non health related soft dick syndrome in punting is the GFE. Unfortunately many become overwhelmed or just plain taken in by the experience and suffer the anxiety of performance, prowess and lack of physical attractiveness (I'd never pull a girl like this in the real world) as if in a real fucking experience.

I think one of the ways to overcome it is to book a punt and decide I'm doing fuck all but just lay back and enjoy myself. Refrain from doing anything mutual in pleasing her and treat it totally as purely selfish encounter. Once that thought is embedded in your sub-conscious the pressure is off and the need to perform is not an issue. Do that a few times and after a while you can get a bit more involved but remember you're only doing that because you enjoy it, not to please her.

That I think is the answer to soft dick syndrome. You're there for your pleasure and not hers. She honestly couldn't give a fuck.

[Drayki]

I think we’ve all had moments when we’ve been anxious before a punt, we’re only human after all, most sp’s will understand that

[katmandu]

One of the major causes of non health related soft dick syndrome in punting is the GFE. Unfortunately many become overwhelmed or just plain taken in by the experience and suffer the anxiety of performance, prowess and lack of physical attractiveness (I'd never pull a girl like this in the real world) as if in a real fucking experience.

I think one of the ways to overcome it is to book a punt and decide I'm doing fuck all but just lay back and enjoy myself. Refrain from doing anything mutual in pleasing her and treat it totally as purely selfish encounter. Once that thought is embedded in your sub-conscious the pressure is off and the need to perform is not an issue. Do that a few times and after a while you can get a bit more involved but remember you're only doing that because you enjoy it, not to please her.

That I think is the answer to soft dick syndrome. You're there for your pleasure and not hers. She honestly couldn't give a fuck.

Great advice this from a very wise tree 

[Steely Dan]

What a great thread.  Who says we are all a bunch of selfish arseholes?   

Happens to most of us.  I'll add myself to the list anyway.  Was very annoying - I was running late and was all stressed about RL, and being late just added to my stress.  It was with a reliable regular so she knows I can get hard.  My head told me not to worry, but feelings can't be controlled by the head every time.  I made sure my next punt was not rushed, I was early and so on.  Still had a nagging doubt but chilling out helped.

But agree with comment above, gentle and relaxed may not be right.  Maybe a 15 minute wham bam thank you ma'am with a Soho walkup girl will scratch the itch!  If nothing else, it wont break the bank.

Also, massage is not a bad idea - it is not a cop out or a failure - some guys like them better.  I used to think it was like a strip club - paying good money to not have sex.  But I tried some of the Manchester Chinatown ones. And sometimes it was just what I needed.