Does this make you laugh - or disgust you?

[Colston36]

The other day I was discussing ideas for photos and videos with an escort friend and asked if she had any suggestions.

She replied almost immediately with this romantic message: "Could shove my feet up her cunt to start. Then you can clean them up."

What is your reaction to that?

 
 

[Waterhouse]

The other day I was discussing ideas for photos and videos with an escort friend and asked if she had any suggestions.

She replied almost immediately with this romantic message: "Could shove my feet up her cunt to start. Then you can clean them up."

What is your reaction to that?

Yummy.

Although, when she said “feet”, I hope she meant one foot at a time. 

[norwichfunseeker]

Yummy.

Although, when she said “feet”, I hope she meant one foot at a time. 

Maybe she meant 12 inches!

[B4bcock]

I wouldn't risk doing it bareback, Colston.  Better wear a pair of wellies.

[Kool Keef]

Gives new meaning to the phrase 'putting your foot in it'

[Jonestown]

 "Could shove my feet up her cunt to start. Then you can clean them up."

What is your reaction to that?

you must be one of those lithe and supple folk that can lick their own feet

[scutty brown]

The other day I was discussing ideas for photos and videos with an escort friend and asked if she had any suggestions.

She replied almost immediately with this romantic message: "Could shove my feet up her cunt to start. Then you can clean them up."

What is your reaction to that?

She'll have problems explaining verrucas

[norwichfunseeker]

She'll have problems explaining verrucas

Or Athletes Minge!

[Colston36]

Yummy.

Although, when she said “feet”, I hope she meant one foot at a time. 

I wondered about that.

But I definitely feel it's my duty as an elderly but obliging gentleman to fit in with these romantic ideas.

[Colston36]

Maybe she meant 12 inches!

Only 8 on a good day with a following wind ...

[Colston36]

I wouldn't risk doing it bareback, Colston.  Better wear a pair of wellies.

That sounds disgusting

But I used to see Tara, the lady in question, with a girl in Devon. She is highly dominant. Wields a mean cane.

[scutty brown]

Only 8 on a good day with a following wind ...

that comes from using beans as lubrication

[Colston36]

you must be one of those lithe and supple folk that can lick their own feet

Where did that idea come from. It's just simple old fashioned stuff - I lick the feet clean -  but what I can't picture is how she gets both feel in one cunt.

[catweazle]

The infamous Chelsea of Manchester used to offer this "service".

[RandomGuy99]

Was this at the local podiatrist?

How do you clean up your own feet?

Are you a contortionist?

No, thank you.

[JontyR]

I knew a girl who liked to take a foot inside her.

One day she didn't take adequate precautions and ended up with a bunion the oven,

[Stevelondon]

Just to clarify.
One SP would be sticking her foot into the cunt of another SP and you (Colston) are going to lick said foot clean. ?

I guess it depends on how much you enjoy foot worship and the taste of cunt.

I like one but not the other. 

[scutty brown]

I knew a girl who liked to take a foot inside her.

One day she didn't take adequate precautions and ended up with a bunion the oven,

did she do it in her back yard?

[Colston36]

Was this at the local podiatrist?

How do you clean up your own feet?

Are you a contortionist?

No, thank you.

It's her feet not mine.

[norwichfunseeker]

It's her feet not mine.

And another WGs cunt too presumably. Wasn't overly clear from the op.

[Colston36]

Just to clarify.
One SP would be sticking her foot into the cunt of another SP and you (Colston) are going to lick said foot clean. ?

I guess it depends on how much you enjoy foot worship and the taste of cunt.

I like one but not the other. 

I like both. Actually I did both over the weekend with the radiant Miss Kelly Ann Kink. Not worth a review but fun, though I don't think she interests most here as she doesn't fuck,

[Colston36]

I knew a girl who liked to take a foot inside her.

One day she didn't take adequate precautions and ended up with a bunion the oven,

Excellent!

[norwichfunseeker]

I like both. Actually I did both over the weekend with the radiant Miss Kelly Ann Kink. Not worth a review but fun, though I don't think she interests most here as she doesn't fuck,

Surely they are all worth a review, good bad or indifferent.

[Thephoenix]

The infamous Chelsea of Manchester used to offer this "service".

Is there anything she didn't offer?

[Crockers]

I tried it once as she was interested after I asked. Couldn't even get the big toe inside.

[Colston36]

Surely they are all worth a review, good bad or indifferent.

This particular event which was rather funny involved scat, and I'm not sure members reading these august pages are interested or its guardians allow that.

[norwichfunseeker]

This particular event which was rather funny involved scat, and I'm not sure members reading these august pages are interested or its guardians allow that.

Obviously had you said that in the first place......

[JontyR]

This particular event which was rather funny involved scat, and I'm not sure members reading these august pages are interested or its guardians allow that.

Ella Fitzgerald fetish? Niche.

[ulstersubbie]

This particular event which was rather funny involved scat, and I'm not sure members reading these august pages are interested or its guardians allow that.

Au contraire Colston, your deliciously depraved encounters have always found favour with a fair few of us on UKP. As for scat, I seem to recall you mentioned it in one of your earlier reviews, can't think which one as it's a while ago now.

[Thephoenix]

This particular event which was rather funny involved scat, and I'm not sure members reading these august pages are interested or its guardians allow that.

Not sure why not.

I've read other reviews about poo poo before on here.

[Stevelondon]

Ella Fitzgerald fetish? Niche.

Oh you bugger…….. beat me to it. 😂

[Colston36]

Well I seem to have underestimated the level of interest or overestimated the degree of disinterest in scat, so will go into a little detail about my last little frolic.

The whole thing came about because for reasons I won't go into - but not a domestic squabble - I couldn't spend four days at home and looked around for an alternative.

What follows is strictly between us members' discretion

In the end I decided to suggest an idea to Miss Kelly Ann Kink of Newport, an old favourite who has been ripped off by her landlord and doesn't currently have suitable premises for entertainment.

I rented a place she could use for the 4 days I was away from home, with no demands on her. I had some work to do - writing actually - while she plied her trade. The flat was big enough for both. And in fact we did have a little fun.

On the third day a client she knew had come for some scat, but when the time came she couldn't deliver. I was amazed as in the six years I have known her this has never happened.

So she got her sister whom I have met to come along and so to speak shit in.

I did then have a bit of a lick, suck and gobble with Kelly Ann who I have had some wonderful times with. This forum is not for promotion but she's one woman whose company I've enjoyed most.

Next week I hope to go and see Tara and Debbie - a glorious pair of sluts - in Bridgwater, and if anything interesting happens I shall faithfully report.

[markballoon]

I lost my innocence the day Chelsea from Fingertips sat on my foot and took the whole lot up to the ankle 

[Thephoenix]

I lost my innocence the day Chelsea from Fingertips sat on my foot and took the whole lot up to the ankle 

Front bottom or back bottom?
She wasn't a fussy lady.

[Stevelondon]

A whole new meaning to “Foot the bill” 😂

Ok ok….. I’ll get me coat.

[RandomGuy99]

 

[catweazle]

Is there anything she didn't offer?

I don't think so.

[Colston36]

I don't think so.

RE: what is on offer, Kelly Ann doesn't fuck.

Many of the discussions on here are about money.

I was talking to another lady I've had the pleasure with about this, who asked about Kelly Ann "how can she do well?"

That lady charges £110 per hour and does pretty well but nothing that klinky. Kelly Ann charges £250.

Just goes to show that specialisation pays:-)

[standardpostage]

The other day I was discussing ideas for photos and videos with an escort friend and asked if she had any suggestions.

She replied almost immediately with this romantic message: "Could shove my feet up her cunt to start. Then you can clean them up."

What is your reaction to that?

Just part of the wide spectrum of sexuality. Anything goes 

[Colston36]

Just part of the wide spectrum of sexuality. Anything goes 

It certainly does  I have spent many unbelievably perverse hours with her and GypsyDream in Devon

[DastardlyDick]

Ella Fitzgerald fetish? Niche.

I was thinking Eartha Kitt 

[scutty brown]

I was thinking Eartha Mitt 

or even Eartha Kitt?
But surely arch-exponent of scat was Cleo Laine?

[Colston36]

or even Eartha Kitt?
But surely arch-exponent of scat was Cleo Laine?

Because I am so bloody old I recall hearing the first ever broadcast by Cleo Laine with The Johnny Dankworth orchestra. She was 16, I think, and I guess I was.

I don't remember if she did scat. Bur I do remember seeing Ella Fitzgerald doing it with the Count Basie band.

As to the other scat, I don't think it had crossed my mind let alone landed in my mouth.

But here's a question for anyone reading.

Did you ever have childhood fantasies, dreams or occurrences that foreshadowed your future inclinations?

The first youthful dream I recall was of a girl standing on a mound with her back to a tree. She was pissing in an arc with the stream landing in my mouth.

Strangely enough I experienced that the other day with a woman in Cardiff.

[Thephoenix]

Because I am so bloody old I recall hearing the first ever broadcast by Cleo Laine with The Johnny Dankworth orchestra. She was 16, I think, and I guess I was.

I don't remember if she did scat. Bur I do remember seeing Ella Fitzgerald doing it with the Count Basie band.

As to the other scat, I don't think it had crossed my mind let alone landed in my mouth.

But here's a question for anyone reading.

Did you ever have childhood fantasies, dreams or occurrences that foreshadowed your future inclinations?

The first youthful dream I recall was of a girl standing on a mound with her back to a tree. She was pissing in an arc with the stream landing in my mouth.

Strangely enough I experienced that the other day with a woman in Cardiff.

Can't remember many dreams of my youth apart from when I started at my all boys grammar school, I used to travel by coach and a girl called Sheila Snodgrass from the upper 6th would often sit next to me and I had to keep my satchel and plimsoles bag covering my short pants.
I was always the last to get off the coach to spare my bushes.
I would regularly dream about her playing netball in her  gymslip, and I've remembered her ever since.

In relation to your dream, were you ever taken to Brussels as a child to see the Manneken Pis?


Hidden Image/Members Only

[scutty brown]

Can't remember many dreams of my youth apart from when I started at my all boys grammar school, I used to travel by coach and a girl called Sheila Snodgrass from the upper 6th would often sit next to me............................

So what was Sheila doing at the boys school?

[Thephoenix]

So what was Sheila doing at the boys school?

It was a very large traditional grammar school and at some stage they'd given over about a third of the main block to girls, and also built a new seperate wing to accommodate them.
The schools were administered seperately with  ours being  known as '.......... Grammar School for boys.'

The only time we mixed was at the annual school dance.

 We met with the girls in the same year for a joint session each day during the  week prior to the dance.
We were strictly paired off and given compulsory ballroom dancing lessons.

[Colston36]

Can't remember many dreams of my youth apart from when I started at my all boys grammar school, I used to travel by coach and a girl called Sheila Snodgrass from the upper 6th would often sit next to me and I had to keep my satchel and plimsoles bag covering my short pants.
I was always the last to get off the coach to spare my bushes.
I would regularly dream about her playing netball in her  gymslip, and I've remembered her ever since.

In relation to your dream, were you ever taken to Brussels as a child to see the Manneken Pis?


Hidden Image/Members Only

Well, as a child (remember I'm even older than you) I never went abroad until 1952 when I went to live for a month with a family in France to speak French - well, better than I'd learnt at school.

I never saw the little pisser till I had a job in the '80s that sent me almost everywhere including Brussels. Apparently the Belgians are as kinky as hell, and one of my many regrets is that I never had a chance to check on that.

It's interesting that you recall that from so many years ago. One of my most erotic memories is being under a girl's skirt and being thrilled by smelling her reeking panties ... when her mother shouted for her to come in. I've felt cheated ever since.

[markballoon]

Front bottom or back bottom?
She wasn't a fussy lady.

Front bottom.  My toes felt very strange covered in lube.

[hornypunter]

In the distant past Chelsea at Fingertips in Manchester was renowned for taking a foot inside her. So been there and done that.

[Colston36]

In the distant past Chelsea at Fingertips in Manchester was renowned for taking a foot inside her. So been there and done that.

You mentioned that once already, so it must have made a lasting impression. So when you say been there and done that, what do you mean? Tara who I see with her friend on Monday expects me to lick her foot clean. What did you do?