Does not sound like massage parlours will reopen on 4th July

[Snoopy06]

There’s one already open in Huddersfield according what the ad says on gumtree..😳

[Dav618id]

There’s one already open in Huddersfield according what the ad says on gumtree..😳

there's a few in portsmouth, one you walk in through door, another by back door. just phone number see if they answer.

[wombat42]

there's a few in portsmouth, one you walk in through door, another by back door. just phone number see if they answer.

I suspect there are quite a few open on the quiet. I just dont feel comfortable with obliging for now.

[atmos]

I suspect there are quite a few open on the quiet. I just dont feel comfortable with obliging for now.

+ 1 - I'm desparate for a massage for a massage (legit or otherwise) but I won't feel comfortable for a while yet.

[David50]

I think all escorts and massage parlours should do the right thing and have an electronic thermometer to check their clients temperature. If client has high temperature she does not take the booking .

[CatBBW]

It's been replaced with the latest guidelines.
 

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That exact message has been there since 27th May.

[Charliehutton]

Fuck knows when they'll reopen. Those Westminster wankers won't be in any rush, that's for sure.

Still, at least we can go to the pub, which will be as much fun as watching football behind closed doors. Not that we can watch at the pub. Got to keep the noise down, you see.

Apparently you'll have to register several days in advance in the hope of being allocated a time slot. I'm not sure if you'll be allowed to choose what to drink, or if Big Brother will determine that, too.

Perhaps, before being served by an attractive waitress in a haz-mat suit, customers will take the knee in a gesture of grateful obeisance to our political masters.

Well they can stick it up their arse and fuck off as far as I'm concerned. Until there are howling mobs descending on Westminster in an orgy of vandalism and violence - the only language those complacent cunts seem to understand - those incompetent wankers will continue twatting about while we are forced into this crap existence. 'Independence Day' my arse. The fucking East Germans had more freedom than this under the jackboot of the Stasi. Fuck them. Fuck the lot of them.

[shiptonlad]

It still has to be a high risk activity.

[LLPunting]

Fuck knows when they'll reopen. Those Westminster wankers won't be in any rush, that's for sure.

Still, at least we can go to the pub, which will be as much fun as watching football behind closed doors. Not that we can watch at the pub. Got to keep the noise down, you see.

Apparently you'll have to register several days in advance in the hope of being allocated a time slot. I'm not sure if you'll be allowed to choose what to drink, or if Big Brother will determine that, too.

Perhaps, before being served by an attractive waitress in a haz-mat suit, customers will take the knee in a gesture of grateful obeisance to our political masters.

Well they can stick it up their arse and fuck off as far as I'm concerned. Until there are howling mobs descending on Westminster in an orgy of vandalism and violence - the only language those complacent cunts seem to understand - those incompetent wankers will continue twatting about while we are forced into this crap existence. 'Independence Day' my arse. The fucking East Germans had more freedom than this under the jackboot of the Stasi. Fuck them. Fuck the lot of them.

Awwww, is little snowflake losing it?  If you're so against it all go make your protest by violating all the guidelines.  Principles man, if you are one.
Given your penchant for overblown melodrama you might want to change into something other than the hoop dress and pompadour to increase your agility for outrunning plod.
I think you have fuck all clue about what the citizens of the GDR suffered if you think being paid to stay at home and receive your Ocado deliveries whilst availing yourself of every service on the unbound Web is anything like being persecuted by the Stasi.

[wombat42]

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In this scenario beauty salons are anticipated to reopen mid July with big plastic screens for manicures and holes to put your hands through. Massages are another level from this so it sounds very grim from the massage parlour point of view in the UK.

In Malta masage parlours are already open so I will try to go there from the 15th July.

[macman26]

It still has to be a high risk activity.

Driving/Walking/Boris Bike it to meet her statistically is more deadly. As a past posting has said " Fuck them. Fuck the lot of them" seems to sum it nicely.   

[Jonestown]

[quote author=wombat42 link=topic=278969.msg2892481#msg2892481 date=1593205134
In this scenario beauty salons are anticipated to reopen mid July with big plastic screens for manicures and holes to put your hands through. Massages are another level from this so it sounds very grim from the massage parlour point of view in the UK.
[/quote]

So, glory holes could be the next big thing, do you reckon ?

[wombat42]

[quote author=wombat42 link=topic=278969.msg2892481#msg2892481 date=1593205134
In this scenario beauty salons are anticipated to reopen mid July with big plastic screens for manicures and holes to put your hands through. Massages are another level from this so it sounds very grim from the massage parlour point of view in the UK.


So, glory holes could be the next big thing, do you reckon ?

Well you could have a clear perspex screen with a hole to put your dick through. The "masseuse" would be wearing gloves.

[Charliehutton]

I think you have fuck all clue about what the citizens of the GDR suffered if you think being paid to stay at home and receive your Ocado deliveries whilst availing yourself of every service on the unbound Web is anything like being persecuted by the Stasi.

It was merely a bit of hyperbole, LLP. You seem an intelligent enough chap - although you lost me with the hoop dress and pompadour - so I'm surprised you took it so literally.

[LLPunting]

It was merely a bit of hyperbole, LLP. You seem an intelligent enough chap - although you lost me with the hoop dress and pompadour - so I'm surprised you took it so literally.

Indeed, hyperbole reaps hyperbole.  Vive le ridicule!

Besides you could well be a Co-op man, although they deliver too.

[Charliehutton]

Indeed, hyperbole reaps hyperbole.  Vive le ridicule!

Indeed so, LLP.

By the way, I don't mind you calling me a melodramatic little snowflake - it's a new one on me - but please don't accuse me of having any principles. I've never had any of those.

You lost me with the hooped dress and pompadour bit, though. Even my Ocado driver didn't know what that meant. 

[sparkus]

To move on, if anyone fancies being tugged off by a Chinese bird then Gumtree seems to have several options available for that now.

[TomTank]

I understand Egmar's point but as far as Covid-19's concerned, that genie is out of the bottle even if a vaccine is discovered.

 Whatever happens it's going to become part of our everyday lives, re-appearing in a seasonal cycle just like the flu. As far as I can tell in time it will become another hazard of life that we will all have to learn to live with. If you don't want to take the risk of catching it at all you should consider giving up punting until the virus is eradicated - which could never happen and avoid any other activities that will bring you into contact with people, for that matter.

if (God willing) we get a vaccine, it will not be a re-appearing hazard like seasonal flu.
It will be more or less gone like measles and mumps.
But we'd better improve our farming and handling of meat; be on the lookout for the next problem virus; and be better prepared.

[king tarzan]

be on the lookout for the next problem virus; and be better prepared.

the above does not apply to us.. that applies to certain areas which are not geographically connected to us.

[myothernameis]

To move on, if anyone fancies being tugged off by a Chinese bird then Gumtree seems to have several options available for that now.

There is one in the Glasgow area, has been open since the lock-down began, and advertises on gumtree, and comes up on google maps

[TomTank]

the above does not apply to us.. that applies to certain areas which are not geographically connected to us.

are you saying this is only a Chinese problem, and only China should look out and prepare for the next problem virus?

[LLPunting]

Indeed so, LLP.

By the way, I don't mind you calling me a melodramatic little snowflake - it's a new one on me - but please don't accuse me of having any principles. I've never had any of those.

You lost me with the hooped dress and pompadour bit, though. Even my Ocado driver didn't know what that meant. 

No worries, you'll get it when he wears the outfit next time he drops something off.
Stay safe.

[LLPunting]

if (God willing) we get a vaccine, it will not be a re-appearing hazard like seasonal flu.
It will be more or less gone like measles and mumps.
But we'd better improve our farming and handling of meat; be on the lookout for the next problem virus; and be better prepared.

Eh?

No, with a vaccine the hope is it will be no worse than the seasonal flu.

We'd all like the miracle of an absolute cure but then we've been wanting that for the flu virus(es) for decades.

If that's not apparent to you then please re-read the NHS info and guidance about flu as well as whatever medically reputable sources you can find (if you don't trust the various links that have been posted here all these months.

[LLPunting]

the above does not apply to us.. that applies to certain areas which are not geographically connected to us.

Are you saying that because there's no point trusting BoJo'n'Bozos or their successors to serve us that well for the next one and that you can only trust the rest of the world to protect us?

[mr.bluesky]

Some are also advertising that they are taking future bookings only ... though i have heard from someone else that the future can be as little as 5 minutes distant.

Not for me though, i hasten to add.

I have noticed a sudden surge of gumtree adverts for massage that have been re activated in the last few days in my region.

[markballoon]

Two appear to be open in Liverpool.  Aintree and Kirkby.

[TomTank]

Eh?

No, with a vaccine the hope is it will be no worse than the seasonal flu.

We'd all like the miracle of an absolute cure but then we've been wanting that for the flu virus(es) for decades.

If that's not apparent to you then please re-read the NHS info and guidance about flu as well as whatever medically reputable sources you can find (if you don't trust the various links that have been posted here all these months.

I'm no expert, but my understanding is that SARS-COV-2 (coronavirus) is deadlier and more contagious than any of the flu viruses.
We never totally eliminate seasonal flu because it is more than one virus, and more than one strain, and we only vaccinate a small percentage of the population.
If we do (and it's a big if, but let's hope) find a vaccine that works for SARS-COV-2 it will work for that virus and be given to enough people to eliminate it (I think 80% is the magic number).

In that sense it will be more like mumps and measles than seasonal flu.
Of course if there are mutations and new strains we're fucked.

[LLPunting]

I'm no expert, but my understanding is that SARS-COV-2 (coronavirus) is deadlier and more contagious than any of the flu viruses.
We never totally eliminate seasonal flu because it is more than one virus, and more than one strain, and we only vaccinate a small percentage of the population.
If we do (and it's a big if, but let's hope) find a vaccine that works for SARS-COV-2 it will work for that virus and be given to enough people to eliminate it (I think 80% is the magic number).

In that sense it will be more like mumps and measles than seasonal flu.
Of course if there are mutations and new strains we're fucked.

Until we get the most accurate and standardised measures for the numbers we won't know about deadliness and contagiousness to compare.  We do know that it appears it can be infectious before symptoms manifest unlike flu and there may be a longer period of infectiousness.  Also the critical reactions across so many combinations is apparently worse than flu.

I get the impression that the scientists are doing everything they can to spot mutation to something significantly different; praying it doesn't or if it does that it becomes less harmful.  They can already tell the difference between people infected via the chain from China through Europe rather than China to US.  Doc H or others will have to explain that in more detail and whether it's mutation.

The outbreaks in meat processing plants is a little worrying, I haven't seen any confirmation that it was human to human transfer only but hopefully that's the case (if one can call that good), if we hear things going pear-shaped at abattoirs or even livestock farms then ...

[Strawberry]

Until we get the most accurate and standardised measures for the numbers we won't know about deadliness and contagiousness to compare.  We do know that it appears it can be infectious before symptoms manifest unlike flu and there may be a longer period of infectiousness.  Also the critical reactions across so many combinations is apparently worse than flu.

I get the impression that the scientists are doing everything they can to spot mutation to something significantly different; praying it doesn't or if it does that it becomes less harmful.  They can already tell the difference between people infected via the chain from China through Europe rather than China to US.  Doc H or others will have to explain that in more detail and whether it's mutation.

The outbreaks in meat processing plants is a little worrying, I haven't seen any confirmation that it was human to human transfer only but hopefully that's the case (if one can call that good), if we hear things going pear-shaped at abattoirs or even livestock farms then ...

The articles I have read mentioned the virus thrives at coolish temperatures, and workers in meat processing plants have to work in close proximity to each other.

[LLPunting]

The articles I have read mentioned the virus thrives at coolish temperatures, and workers in meat processing plants have to work in close proximity to each other.

Interesting, pls ping me or post links to articles.  General virology bits I've been reading were saying  they persist longer through cooler times and as the heat comes back up and (absolute) humidity rises it activates.  Still trying to find out if it switches between active and dormant modes within the body like Herpes does.  Flu seems to travel the World with humans, flaring up under the right atmospheric conditions.  CoViD does seem so fussed as it's hitting temperate and tropics, not seen reports about proper alpine, cold and desert.

[triggs91]

Fuck knows when they'll reopen. Those Westminster wankers won't be in any rush, that's for sure.

Still, at least we can go to the pub, which will be as much fun as watching football behind closed doors. Not that we can watch at the pub. Got to keep the noise down, you see.

Apparently you'll have to register several days in advance in the hope of being allocated a time slot. I'm not sure if you'll be allowed to choose what to drink, or if Big Brother will determine that, too.

Perhaps, before being served by an attractive waitress in a haz-mat suit, customers will take the knee in a gesture of grateful obeisance to our political masters.

Well they can stick it up their arse and fuck off as far as I'm concerned. Until there are howling mobs descending on Westminster in an orgy of vandalism and violence - the only language those complacent cunts seem to understand - those incompetent wankers will continue twatting about while we are forced into this crap existence. 'Independence Day' my arse. The fucking East Germans had more freedom than this under the jackboot of the Stasi. Fuck them. Fuck the lot of them.

Outside of the US we have probably had the lightest lock-down rules in the world, and even that seems to have been too much for you.

In countries where a proper lock-down was implemented such as Turkey, Tunisia they had very few deaths and numbers were kept at a minimum and now they are able to begin to relax their lock-down rules to locals almost entirely.

While here, we have already had to re-implement the rules in Leicester.

[zxc]

FYI. If you are worried about punting these are common safe and unsafe positions

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[Doc Holliday]

I get the impression that the scientists are doing everything they can to spot mutation to something significantly different; praying it doesn't or if it does that it becomes less harmful.  They can already tell the difference between people infected via the chain from China through Europe rather than China to US.  Doc H or others will have to explain that in more detail and whether it's mutation.

Yes early one when it was mainly just within China, two or three different strains were identified. Since there have been many more minor mutations including one which I think I read, is entirely UK based? As you say those clever virologists can now study the genomes in such detail to recognise these small mutations which can be very useful in flowing the epidemiological spread. There are mixed views on whether these minor mutations have affected the pathogenicity of the virus in terms of how contagious or lethal it is. The truth is we probably do not yet know.

To date though and to my knowledge, there have not been any major mutations which would affect antibody response and immunity (although the latter is in itself assumed and not proven) Should such mutations occur this could have serious consequences for a vaccine and put us in the same boat as Influenza which readily mutates seasonally. Time will tell?

[Doc Holliday]

The articles I have read mentioned the virus thrives at coolish temperatures, and workers in meat processing plants have to work in close proximity to each other.

Once again we do not know and it is likely to be a multitude of factors. There is now a well recognised risk with meat processing plants, but this may be related more to the habits of the workforce rather than the temperature of the environment?

In many countries the workforce are migrant workers who not only work in cramped environments but may live together and indeed share transport together. I know that in at least one plant they were not socially distancing in the social areas canteens etc (rather like hospitals!!) The one in the news in Germany employs over 6000 people and under such conditions once the virus is in such an environment it will quickly spread.

In addition the virus has been demonstrated to be largely unaffected by refrigeration and can survive on surfaces at low temperature for prolonged periods.

[Strawberry]

Interesting, pls ping me or post links to articles.  General virology bits I've been reading were saying  they persist longer through cooler times and as the heat comes back up and (absolute) humidity rises it activates.  Still trying to find out if it switches between active and dormant modes within the body like Herpes does.  Flu seems to travel the World with humans, flaring up under the right atmospheric conditions.  CoViD does seem so fussed as it's hitting temperate and tropics, not seen reports about proper alpine, cold and desert.

Here we go External Link/Members Only

[Strawberry]

Once again we do not know and it is likely to be a multitude of factors. There is now a well recognised risk with meat processing plants, but this may be related more to the habits of the workforce rather than the temperature of the environment?

In many countries the workforce are migrant workers who not only work in cramped environments but may live together and indeed share transport together. I know that in at least one plant they were not socially distancing in the social areas canteens etc (rather like hospitals!!) The one in the news in Germany employs over 6000 people and under such conditions once the virus is in such an environment it will quickly spread.

In addition the virus has been demonstrated to be largely unaffected by refrigeration and can survive on surfaces at low temperature for prolonged periods.

Yes just spotted an article on the Guardian website which mentions the work force, migrants living and working together.

[LLPunting]

Here we go External Link/Members Only

Thanks, seems to  gather up what Doc and I were saying too.  I do hope that they aren't just assuming the meat is clean.  Given the unknowns about this novel virus they shouldn't be taking any chances.  Confirming a negative is very much a part of science.

[David50]

I was going to go for my first massage when they open but won’t after seen these pictures from a Chinese massage in Trysull, Wolverhampton. 

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[sparkus]

I was going to go for my first massage when they open but won’t after seen these pictures from a Chinese massage in Trysull, Wolverhampton. 

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There's nothing worse than Chinese girl in shop disrobes from her tunic to reveal a naked bod covered in those red circular burns

[myothernameis]

There's nothing worse than Chinese girl in shop disrobes from her tunic to reveal a naked bod covered in those red circular burns

3 million chinese people eligible for path to U.K. citizenship, with the troubles going on in hong kong

[sparkus]

3 million chinese people eligible for path to U.K. citizenship, with the troubles going on in hong kong

I said nothing worse.

[Parsifal]

The Times today:  Dozens of sex workers protested outside the German parliament in Berlin yesterday calling for brothels to be allowed to reopen.

They held up sex dolls and carried banners demanding state aid and warning that their work, which is legal in Germany, is being driven into illegality by the continued closure of brothels.

They said they were being discriminated against by not being allowed to work while lockdown rules had been lifted for other trades involving close physical contact such as massage salons, tattoo parlours and saunas.

[myothernameis]

You just wonder, when all the massage shops open, will any of the thai places be tempted to offer a happy ending, especially it brings them extra money in

[Horizontal pleasures]

I would love to go but the missus is WFH so I cannot pop out for a punt while she is at home and my own work now is Skyped and Zoomed so no travelling and so no side trips.
HP

[wombat42]

Sounds like there will be an announcement on outstanding premises such as massage parlours, nail bars and gyms in the next few days assuming no second wave happens.

[catweazle]

You just wonder, when all the massage shops open, will any of the thai places be tempted to offer a happy ending, especially it brings them extra money in

I wondered exactly the same thing, whether previously legit parlours will be tempted in order to recoup lost revenue.

[atmos]

Not everyone's 'cup of tea', but some Pro-Domme's are re-starting their services. One has the client wearing masks, whilst Mistress wears a mask & gloves. (There are a lot more other instructions).

I'm just desperate for a massage, but not yet.

[mr.bluesky]

I know there are a couple of fbsm service providers in the west midlands area who work from home now taking bookings.

[mr.bluesky]

I wondered exactly the same thing, whether previously legit parlours will be tempted in order to recoup lost revenue.

Are there that many legit Thai massage parlours about ? Most of the one's (bar one) that Iv'e been to always offer a happy ending. 

[dgh7622]

Massage services available in northern Ireland from today