External Link/Members OnlyWarm thanks to all the previous posters with tips on Pattaya. And let me confirm that of *all* the various towns and countries I have punted in, this is top. Punting paradise!
Logistics: I booked a flight last minute so no bargain, but not crazy expensive. I joined Thai Friendly (TF) a week in advance (as per advice). But I messaged girls too soon – the advice to only add picture and description and start messaging 1 or 2 days before trip is good. I put the words ‘freelancers welcome’ in my profile. This reduced the small number of husband-hunters but got past the censors. Do get your picture verified and become premium in the UK though as it takes some messing about.
I stayed at Sandy Spring hotel. Loved it. The door man and desk staff were good partners with my 10 or so visitors – keeping ID, booking taxi, calling me – whatever. There must be 100+ equally girl friendly hotels, but this was perfect for me.
Prices: Not going to mention all over the place – everything is so cheap. In my head, I set a minimum to spend goal, not a max. £200 = 9000 baht. And …. a typical LT girl was 3000 Baht. So, to reach my goal of spending £200 per day or more, I needed to spend like mad – this attitude really helped me enjoy the week. Most days I had left over from the 10K I got on bank card each day.
DAY 1
Arrived very early. Dropped my bag and had a walk around before my early check in. Chilled in my room until 12:30 when ‘Nice2529TH’ from TF arrived. Very slim and nice looking. We had lunch first. She was a bit of a weirdo – after a shared shower, she cleaned herself for ages. Then she trimmed her pussy with a mini buzzy shaver sitting on my loo. But she was equally crazy in the sheets – she stayed for a while – maybe 3 rounds. Happy on balance.
Had a beer on 13/1 then went south along the beach to Walking street. This place is crazy with sexy bars and touts selling ping pong shows and so on. But lots of non-punting tourists – guides with flags. Some families having a look. Strange. Had a nice dinner in a restaurant on the beach. Went to Pinup Gogo: Nice looking dancers, but off the scale expensive. Really, 3 times normal places. Went across to the slightly more modest priced ‘Glasshouse’. I was drunk, jetlagged and horny so I got talked into taking two girls back to my hotel. Then mamasan mentioned that I hadn’t bought enough lady drinks and added 4 more to my bill.
In my hotel there was no G-on-G action. I fucked one, she left (as planned) then the other one and I had a quickie and then slept. Bitch woke me up at 5AM with some story of her sick mother or dog or roommate or something and left. I had to walk down with her so reception will give her ID back. Weird day – at least I had sex with 3 girls!
DAY 2
Woke up again at 10:00ish. Breakfast in the cool bar next door, the Sportsman. Maya9TH from TF arrives at 11:00. She came from Bangkok, and was older, milfy. We had sex until 12, then lunch at Robin Hood (good steak house with Thai food for the ladies). Then more sex until about 3, then sent her off in a Bolt. Meh. Neutral if UKP review.
Wander over to Rasta bar on Soi LK Metro. Spoke to 2 guys who are living the dream (residents). Got lots of tips. Good company. Followed top tip and went to nearby ‘Kink’. Fully naked show. Jolly not sleezy.
DAY 3
TF Girl ‘Mena2478’ arrives. An hour’s sex, then lunch (cheap place next door) then more sex. Great English, good in the sack – potential best of the week. Ask her to stay all day but she can’t.
Meet my next-door neighbour walking to the lift – a few sentences confirm we are doing the same thing. He shows me how the baht bus works (no bus stops – stop it like hailing a cab, ring bell then pay 10 to driver to get off. Yes 20p). We go to Soi 6 and have a beer and chat to a bar owner he knows (Black American called, you guessed it, Kevin). Watch some nice dancing girls and so on. Mena texts me she will come back at 8:00. I say yes! We drink and wander town – highlights was taking her to Kink (Thai girls can’t really go in on their own, but men like us can bring Caligula’s horse if we want). We ended up in a great live music place called Las Vegas. Sex that night was ordinary (long week and over drinking catching up) but morning sex was fantastic.
DAY 4
No TF girl booked so decide to try some
External Link/Members Only. Start at Maggie Mays on Soi Pothole. Lady drink and we are soon kissing and rubbing. Two shots (£5?) and she has her tits out and then in my mouth. I add £25 for a BJ and RO behind the curtain. Oh, and we played pool.
Down the road to ‘Beyond 2’. Looks like a bar but it has opaque doors. ‘Champoo’ waves at me and charms me. Lady drink and pool. I notice a curtain – sure, she’d love to give me a BJ. We have a BJ and RO behind the curtain.
Back to Soi Boomerang to Club Fate. Place has the same owner as Maggie, so manager was drinking there before and recognises me and said ‘hi’ to me now. He chooses a slightly older, slightly bigger girl for me, and after easy agreement of money, she gives me a BJ in the corner of the bar with no curtain. Dirty girl. Fantastic.
Walk home along the beach. Chat to a few freelancers. Nice looking African girl is chosen – I fancied the variety. Nice LT (so once at night, once in the morning). I brought a Bose speaker, so we played loud African music she chose while drinking and fucking. I must say it again: fantastic.
DAY 5
After morning sex (and before I buy her breakfast) I send Africa away since I have TF girl ‘Sunny’) arriving at noon. She cancels. I’m so chill I’m not even fake angry. Head back to Beyond and play pool and have oral both ways with Champoo. Go to Excite GC and up it to full sex – still in the bar but yes behind a curtain. Some bars and gogos. Having dinner in Treetown (or was it Myth?) in an outdoor bar / restaurant. Fancy the server so take her for LT. Too early for hotel, so I take her to ‘Heaven’ for a drink and warm up. Fully naked show. Not to the level of Kink, but good fun. Nice evening and morning sex. Forget her name.
DAY 6
Sunny920 from TF arrives at noon. Worth the wait. Fashion model-beautiful, perfect English. Her only job is ST escort on TF. We have a great 3 hours together. Quick lunch next door – no messing around with fancy places. Would book her again but I have few days left.
I head to Honey 3 soapy massage. Eight story shiny-shiny building which would fit-in in Vegas – not a corner shop. 40 girls sitting on football terrace looking at me. 3000 to 6600. Book a top tier lady: 6600 baht, a nice 90 minutes. But no English so our time was just physical. But the nuru body slides, the sex and the rest was good. If I go back, I’d just book a 4000 baht girl though. FOMO made me book top one.
Head back to Beyond and play pool with Champoo. Rather than BJ, I just barfine her. We had a great evening doing something or other. Best part was we both woke up when dark and had a quickie. Then again when my alarm went off at 8AM. Then again before she left at 10AM. Gave her a 1000 baht tip on top of her low fees. Narrowly avoid EAS.
DAY 7
Last full day. Songkran is not until tomorrow, but I hear it starts early on Soi 6. So off I go on the Baht bus. Insane … 300 girls on the street in front of their bars shooting you, rubbing white on your face or pouring full buckets of ice-cold water on your head. Everyone is happy. I try to be, but grumpy is winning. Exit stage left.
I end up in Angels Gogo. Nice collection of dancers with great bodies and smiley personality. One is the Thai clone of Hayley Hazard. I see sign in the back about ‘angels above’. I figure out that the even better show is upstairs. There are 3 girls writhing naked on stage and a 4th washing in an actual bathtub. I have a drink with one of the performers after a shift change. After second drink I ask if she wants RO. ‘Sure’ she says. We add to the show right there on the couch. She picks the next girl for me and same again. Last night and living the dream so I PULL THE HORN and buy all staff a drink. Good fun. Now everyone likes me. 12+ dancers and 3 (older) drinks servers grab their shots and toast me with a roar. Waste of money? No … best I spent … I was living it. Mamasan comes over and flirts with me too. I have spent this £150 in stripper bars for much less fun, that’s for sure.
Two American-looking Karens walk in to see the show. I wave at one of the dancers, point at her pussy, point at my mouth, she signals her agreement. So, I walk to the stage, pull her to me and lick her out for a minute. Take that back to Chicago, Karen.
Run out of money for the first time since Walking street first night. Have to leave for a top up. Rather than ruin a great session by returning, I head to Kink. Lick another pussy (the later the more you can) and barfine her LT to my hotel. Rubbish sex (from me) and she fucks off at 7AM. I should know better than to book the diva’s!
DAY 8
I check out of hotel but flight is later. So go back to Maggie May for pool and BJ from ‘Daw’. Then have a hot 2 girl BJ in Excite (L shaped on the couch – one gives me BJ while I RO the other. Then swap). Naughty girl makes me CIM. Damn, time for my flight.
Summary of Best:
Bars: Las Vegas complex because of Live music. Myth because it is 100 small bars in a new complex.
Girls: Champoo from bar, Sunny from TF.
Restaurant: Sportsman and Robin Hood.
Gogo: Angels just beats out Kink.
GC: Maggie May.
Street: Soi LK Metro, but many right answers.
Do once (but perhaps only once):
Walking Street, Soi 6, Soapy, Songkran
Also:
Talk to other guys as much as you can without being pushy.
Similarly, speak to Managers and Mamasan when you can (without being pushy). Tip Mamasan or buy her a drink.
Massage: I only had a pedicure. Well worth it.
Laundry: I had everything full-service washed for like £5 halfway through my trip. Happy I did. Cheap and easy.
Lady Boy: No worry – they are out and proud, so no accident possible. Peachy on LK Metro if you want a bar full of them.