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Author Topic: COLONIC IRRIGATION - Shit happens - Pre punt rituals.  (Read 5774 times)

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Morning all. Today I am going to have a tube stuck up my arse to rid me of built up shit. I hoping to have a punt after and ask for rimming. The WG should be truly honoured with this as my arsehole will be as clean as a whistle. Lol

Have any of you ventured into alternative medicine/therapy Or have any strange pre punt rituals that make you feel extra comfortable??

 :yahoo:

Offline cunnyhunt

I am sure I have read that this is not good as it removes the bacteria and other fluid from you that you need to shit easily.


cockneybstrd

  • Guest
Pompoy old son

Are you Lady Di ? Is this some kind of weight loss treatment ??

Roland D Hay

  • Guest
Morning all. Today I am going to have a tube stuck up my arse to rid me of built up shit. I hoping to have a punt after and ask for rimming. The WG should be truly honoured with this as my arsehole will be as clean as a whistle. Lol

 :yahoo:

I doubt the WG will see it that way, problems with gas are common after colonic irrigation so when you blow off an uncontrolled monster fart as she's rimming your clean whistle don't expect thanks for the privilege.   :hi:

Online Anadin

Well if you have an empty colon your farts won't smell much if at all.

Roland D Hay

  • Guest
Well if you have an empty colon your farts won't smell much if at all.

Well if it's a hot and sticky session then it'll be just like having a fan in the room  :hi:

Pompoy123

  • Guest
I am sure I have read that this is not good as it removes the bacteria and other fluid from you that you need to shit easily.

I thought I'd give it a go for something new. I may also dress up as a woman as I saw that once in a documentary lol.

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Pompoy old son

Are you Lady Di ? Is this some kind of weight loss treatment ??

I've been feeling really bloated so in a way it may be. Is one not amused?? :thumbsdown:

Pompoy123

  • Guest
I doubt the WG will see it that way, problems with gas are common after colonic irrigation so when you blow off an uncontrolled monster fart as she's rimming your clean whistle don't expect thanks for the privilege.   :hi:

As long as she's not got any naked flames around I think i'll be ok lol.

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Well if you have an empty colon your farts won't smell much if at all.

My farts never smell  :rose:

Roland D Hay

  • Guest
I don't understand the concept of built up shit, unless it relates to a WG's AW feedback!

Offline cunnyhunt

I don't understand the concept of built up shit,

You have not seen my desk. :rolleyes:

Roland D Hay

  • Guest
As long as she's not got any naked flames around I think i'll be ok lol.

It wasn't you I was worried about. Combine this with a smoking fetish and the girl could lose her eyebrows.

Offline ForrestGump

I should give this a go Pompoy. If nothing else it would take away the missus frequently used argument that I'm "full of shit"  :)

cockneybstrd

  • Guest
I've been feeling really bloated so in a way it may be. Is one not amused?? :thumbsdown:

There is a cheaper alternative available get your self a massive donner kebab loads of chill sauce and salad leave it in direct sunlight for 24  hours and then scoff it

It should clear out your insides and solve the bloating problem

If your bloated its probably eating too much wheat !

Captain Kang

  • Guest
All it'll rid you of is £££'s and possibly your dignity. Same for the colonic irrigation  :)

Offline Roth

Tried it once.  Never again and it's true - Ship Happens! 

Offline FLYING BLUE

Morning all. Today I am going to have a tube stuck up my arse to rid me of built up shit.
 :yahoo:

Thank you for sharing that lovely piece of information sir...........I feel quite ill now :) :vomit:

Pompoy123

  • Guest
I should give this a go Pompoy. If nothing else it would take away the missus frequently used argument that I'm "full of shit"  :)

If I'd known we could have had a 3some. Maybe next time :)

Offline Dani

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 2,603
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If anything all it will do is cause you to get really constipated in the future.  I had it done a few times as was supposed to be really good for you.  Its not.  It removes all the bacteria that helps your waste break down and become soft so you end up badly constipated and either have to have it done again or end up at A&E having a manual evacuation and I promise you that it is not pleasant having that done.  Once all the good bacteria has been removed laxatives don't even work so manual evac is the only route to follow and having some young doc and a nurse with their fingers stretching your arse trying to dig as deep as they can is not a good way to spend five hours.

If it was good for you and really worked the NHS would offer it as it would be a cheap alternative for those who do suffer with bowel problems.  Stay away from gluten as much as possible as this will reduce the bloating and try to eat bran and plenty of dried fruit.  Bran can be sprinkled on anything as has no taste and is not only a lot cheaper but is a lot healthier for you too

Offline CatBBW

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If it was good for you and really worked the NHS would offer it as it would be a cheap alternative for those who do suffer with bowel problems.  Stay away from gluten as much as possible as this will reduce the bloating and try to eat bran and plenty of dried fruit.  Bran can be sprinkled on anything as has no taste and is not only a lot cheaper but is a lot healthier for you too

Can you get gluten free bran?

I would cut out all grains and make sure you eat lots of green veg. Soluble fibre is much better for you, and comes in food that is superior in nutrition compared to grains.

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Well in the end the place ended up being to much hard work to reach so I blew(no pun intended) it out. I was just looking for a head start to eating better and thought this might kick start me.

It sounds though that this is not the right way forward however Dani some guys (not myself included) may get a kick out of a junior Doc and nurse probing their arse.  :unknown:

Offline ForrestGump

If I'd known we could have had a 3some. Maybe next time :)

What an offer, Pompoy! Actually... having read some of the warnings posted by others I think I'll give this one a miss and stay "full of shit".  :(

Pompoy123

  • Guest
What an offer, Pompoy! Actually... having read some of the warnings posted by others I think I'll give this one a miss and stay "full of shit".  :(

Well your Misses will not be happy but safety first :thumbsup:

Offline Bangers and Gash

Why don't you just have done with it, and shove a cock up your arse. No need to be shy on here.  :hi:

yorkshire123

  • Guest
If anything all it will do is cause you to get really constipated in the future.  I had it done a few times as was supposed to be really good for you.  Its not.  It removes all the bacteria that helps your waste break down and become soft so you end up badly constipated and either have to have it done again or end up at A&E having a manual evacuation and I promise you that it is not pleasant having that done.  Once all the good bacteria has been removed laxatives don't even work so manual evac is the only route to follow and having some young doc and a nurse with their fingers stretching your arse trying to dig as deep as they can is not a good way to spend five hours.

If it was good for you and really worked the NHS would offer it as it would be a cheap alternative for those who do suffer with bowel problems.  Stay away from gluten as much as possible as this will reduce the bloating and try to eat bran and plenty of dried fruit.  Bran can be sprinkled on anything as has no taste and is not only a lot cheaper but is a lot healthier for you too

How much did you charge for that Dani  ;)

SirFrank

  • Guest
I've been feeling really bloated so in a way it may be. Is one not amused?? :thumbsdown:

Try the dukan diet or simply cut out carbs for a few days

Offline ForrestGump

Well your Misses will not be happy but safety first :thumbsup:

Well, Pompoy, if it makes my missus happy to keep reminding me I'm full of shit, I'm happy to allow her that satisfaction. It's a win-win.  :)

Changing back to topic: what a grim job that must be to be rinsing the shit out of people all day  :(

Offline Dani

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How much did you charge for that Dani  ;)

No price would have been worth it believe me.  I unfortunately take certain tablets that cause severe constipation so unless I stay on top of it with dried fruit, tons of bran, staying away from potatoes pasta and bread I end up having to have it done as I use laxatives daily any way so if not on top of it I have problems. 
Also ensure you drink lots and lots of water as that also helps with having smooth full bowel movements.  I try to have 3 litres a day now (2 in winter) and this seems to work.  I stay away from coffee (not easy as a cappuccino addict) as well as fizzy drinks.

In reply to the other question YES you can buy gluten free bran, It is oat bran that is grown in fields kept away from wheat so no cross contamination

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Why don't you just have done with it, and shove a cock up your arse. No need to be shy on here.  :hi:

I'm not shy at all and if you have a £160 I'm happy to use yours lol

Pompoy123

  • Guest
No price would have been worth it believe me.  I unfortunately take certain tablets that cause severe constipation so unless I stay on top of it with dried fruit, tons of bran, staying away from potatoes pasta and bread I end up having to have it done as I use laxatives daily any way so if not on top of it I have problems. 
Also ensure you drink lots and lots of water as that also helps with having smooth full bowel movements.  I try to have 3 litres a day now (2 in winter) and this seems to work.  I stay away from coffee (not easy as a cappuccino addict) as well as fizzy drinks.

In reply to the other question YES you can buy gluten free bran, It is oat bran that is grown in fields kept away from wheat so no cross contamination

Thanks Dani. Can I not just come live with you for a month lol.

Offline inch

You're telling me WGs don't swill themselves out before a bit of A?!

LL

  • Guest
If anything all it will do is cause you to get really constipated in the future.  I had it done a few times as was supposed to be really good for you.  Its not.  It removes all the bacteria that helps your waste break down and become soft so you end up badly constipated and either have to have it done again or end up at A&E having a manual evacuation and I promise you that it is not pleasant having that done.  Once all the good bacteria has been removed laxatives don't even work so manual evac is the only route to follow and having some young doc and a nurse with their fingers stretching your arse trying to dig as deep as they can is not a good way to spend five hours.

If it was good for you and really worked the NHS would offer it as it would be a cheap alternative for those who do suffer with bowel problems.  Stay away from gluten as much as possible as this will reduce the bloating and try to eat bran and plenty of dried fruit.  Bran can be sprinkled on anything as has no taste and is not only a lot cheaper but is a lot healthier for you too

Well I was about to tuck into a dinner of sausages and onion gravy.
But I think I'll skip it now.  Thanks Dani  ;)  :lol:

dilettante

  • Guest
I've done it once - I was a bit disappointed as it didn't really do anything except make me feel like a guilty nappy-pooping baby while it was being done and put me off my booze afterwards.  The thing is, you read about encrustations of mucus and general muck lining the colon wall (you can google these too so they do exist), yet when you have an endoscopy you firstly dredge yourself out using a laxative, then apparently the surgeon can examine your clean-as-a-whistle colon - it don't add up.

I keep m'sel' reg'lar using chillies, lots of 'em, in fact I could be the one
Quote
... with bowels regular as the clock,
For they come alive
Every morning at five,
Though I don't wake till seven o'clock

Bran and gluten are different parts of the wheat grain, gluten is the 10 per cent protein contingent.

Stealthshagger

  • Guest
if it is to get rimmed, why not just wipe properly (cost, toilet paper0 and have a shower where you wash your anus with shower gel and soap (cost of shower, soap and shower gel) and dry off properly (cost of a towel)? itll be clean and I hope you have the items necessary already. no downside. This butthole fumigation or whatever sounds unnecessary and unwise.

Offline billyjo

Just the thought of the tube they stick up your anus having previously been inserted in a few hundred/thousand other anuses makes this procedure a big no for me.

I usually eat in excess of the recommended 5 fruit and veg per day and never get any constipation issues.

Offline threechilliman

Try the dukan diet or simply cut out carbs for a few days

Sage words of advice, as ever, SirFrank!

Stealthshagger

  • Guest
either way Ill read the review. Id love to see the WGs notes after the fact lol. blow dried hair with a hint of je sais quoi

dilettante

  • Guest
Quote
Just the thought of the tube they stick up your anus having previously been inserted in a few hundred/thousand other anuses makes this procedure a big no for me.
Just to put the record straight - they use a new tip for each patient.

Offline billyjo

Just to put the record straight - they use a new tip for each patient.

Thanks, for some reason I thought they used the same one each time just giving it a clean between patients.

Stealthshagger

  • Guest
a quick spit clean or a wet wipe darlink

jcdmj12

  • Guest
Colonic Irrigation is a scam, and the claim of built up shit is exactly that, shit.

Your colon isn't like a plastic waste pipe that stuff gets stuck to over time.  It's made up of a lining of cells that are constantly dying off and regrowing (like most of the rest of you).  The average epithelial (lining) cell in the gut lives for about 3 days, so you have a totally new colon lining around twice a week.   As Dani says, you'll just wash out your commensal gut bacteria which do a lot of your digestive work for you. 

If you're feeling bloated, try cutting out wheat and dairy for a few weeks, you may well have a dietary intolerance. 
« Last Edit: May 03, 2014, 11:21:06 pm by jcdmj12 »

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Ok guys strangely has it I did not go for a colonic yesterday or see a WG. I however got a bootie call last night then woke with serious tummy pains spending an hour on the loo. I think it was some dodgy salsa I ate.

So I actually got both for free it turns out lol.

I will be taking Sir Franks advice cutting out carbs for a couple of days.

Offline Horizontal pleasures


I will be taking Sir Franks advice cutting out carbs for a couple of days.

Good guides to carb free eating are Waist Disposal and also Escape the Diet Trap, both by Dr John Briffa; find bargain copies at External Link/Members Only and read more at External Link/Members Only

There is much less of me than there used to be after cutting out carbs not for a couple of days but a couple of years and I feel good on it.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2014, 10:02:32 pm by Horizontal pleasures »

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Anyway you lot. I was wondering if you had any Pre Punt rituals. (I don't mean sacrificing a chicken or such like.)

:)

Stealthshagger

  • Guest
Anyway you lot. I was wondering if you had any Pre Punt rituals. (I don't mean sacrificing a chicken or such like.)

:)

I wash my cock.

Offline Horizontal pleasures

I wash my cock.

I check I have enough dosh and buy some cheap fruits or choc. I take a piss and be sure my flies will open.

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Hahaha just read these again and wet myself  :lol:

cylon

  • Guest
Prunes!! Apparently there's something in them that softens shit. I have about six with a bowl of oats plus a handful of raisins. The only thing is when you've got to go you really have got to go. Regular as clock work at ten in the morning I'm legging it up the stairs frantically ripping my pants off.