Have you ever been caught by any neighbours/passers by at an incall punt?

[d2331]

I've got one, not as bad as many of yours though guys.

My first punt around 2 years ago was with a local (5 minute drive!) nice British girl in one of those new-build apartment blocks next to a Tesco.

No problems, all went swimmingly.

Probably 3-4 weeks later, me and my old man had to pop round to my mates flat to pick up some boxes etc. His flat is in a similar block about 5 minutes away.

As my and my dad had descended the steps into the lobby with the last stack of boxes, guess who opens and holds the front door to the car park for us as she's walking in? The WG I was banging doggy style a few works earlier.

Must've been doing a local outcall as she was tarted up something proper. I was walking behind my old man, and she definitely recognised me judging the look she gave, luckily he didn't see it, but he did comment when we got back in the car that she looked like a prossie 

[webpunter]

Organised a very early Saturday morning appointment about 10 years ago nearby to me. Requested that the tart in question kept the 'bed time look ' about her. She gave me the address and directions and told me to walk in the side door as she would be waiting upstairs. Only problem with this was as it was early January and still dark I walked into a house next door but one which was open and walked upstairs into the room to find some female lying in bed who asked 'what are you doing?' as I got in bed beside her. Luckily, i realised that I had fucked up and legged it through the side door noticing welly boots and a dog bowl, presumably hubby had taken Fido out for his early morning dump. Walked to the correct house to find my early morning fuck waiting on the doorstep shivering her tits off. Tried explaining what had happened but gave up and enjoyed what followed. It could have been so much worse though. Often shudder about what would have happened about getting caught and the subsequent sex pest claims against me! 

This has to be one of the funniest postings on here.  Hilarious.  Imagine trying to explain that away in Court.  "Well, your honour ...".  You could probably back it up with phone records & stuff but you'd make yourself look like a complete twat

[webpunter]

I did a review on here about Siam Sauna - a parlour in Horton Heath near Southampton.  The place is in an industrial type unit behind a petrol station and next to a car dealer.  You have to walk through the car lot to get in.  On the way in it was fairly quiet.  30 mins or so later i walked out from the dimly lit venue into bright sunshine.  My eyes took a moment to adjust and there was an elderly couple looking at a motor, not 5 feet from the entrance.  I had to walk around the old boy.  There must have been at least 7 or 8 people looking at cars within a 10 yard radius.  Very obvious to all of them.  Not being local to there i thought it was amusing.  But a definite no-no otherwise

[snaitram99]

Came out of Chinese Medicine shop (known to several here I believe) and guy from garden and stuff shop next door outside putting plants out said "happy ending?". I pretended I'd heard nothing and walked away - after all, I'd been there for a therapeutic massage, hadn't I. 

Garden shop has closed down now. 

[vw]

Garden shop has closed down now. 

Not a happy ending for garden shop man then !

[socks]

Around a year ago I was searching for a punt address on a busy street when I heard my name called and a close colleague from work bounded over. Chatted for what seemed like ages before I came up with some excuse to depart - about needing to pick up a relative. Still hadn't identified the courtyard of prossie and was now late. Colleague was in a cafe opposite both of the possibles so was trying to think of an excuse as to why I couldn't make it. Luckily she didn't answer the call, voicemail or text. About 15 minutes later ie around 20 mins after the scheduled time she texted her availability but I was already too far away to return, squeeze in a fuck and get home before tea time!

[SamLP]

Came out of Chinese Medicine shop (known to several here I believe) and guy from garden and stuff shop next door outside putting plants out said "happy ending?". I pretended I'd heard nothing and walked away - after all, I'd been there for a therapeutic massage, hadn't I. 

Garden shop has closed down now. 

You missed out on the punchline: "yeah she took care of my stiff muscle"

[the_exile]

I've got the wrong number on the flat buzzer before, wrong house once too! Luckily the maid at the place saw me and called to me from the back door. Felt well stupid!

Would have thought the number of guys rolling up at the door would be the sign to the neighbours, more than noise, but in some flats the walls are paper thin.

[escort charlotte]

Organised a very early Saturday morning appointment about 10 years ago nearby to me. Requested that the tart in question kept the 'bed time look ' about her. She gave me the address and directions and told me to walk in the side door as she would be waiting upstairs. Only problem with this was as it was early January and still dark I walked into a house next door but one which was open and walked upstairs into the room to find some female lying in bed who asked 'what are you doing?' as I got in bed beside her. Luckily, i realised that I had fucked up and legged it through the side door noticing welly boots and a dog bowl, presumably hubby had taken Fido out for his early morning dump. Walked to the correct house to find my early morning fuck waiting on the doorstep shivering her tits off. Tried explaining what had happened but gave up and enjoyed what followed. It could have been so much worse though. Often shudder about what would have happened about getting caught and the subsequent sex pest claims against me! 

hahaha this is very funny. Thanks for posting 

[webpunter]

I was already too far away to return, squeeze in a fuck and get home before tea time!

Jumpers for goal posts / next goal wins.  Then home for tea.  Happy days back then

[tazz]

Once had a punt in a terraced house which was a brothel in Brighton. Not having lived in Brighton im not familiar with the punting scene or locals. Girl used to work in central london and i could have easily fucked her their. As soon as i came out of the house and started walking up the street some young guy who was walking past and clearly knew it was a brothel shouts out "what have you been up to". First and only time ive had anything like that happen. Luckily there werent many people in the street and its far from where i live.

[Jerboa]

Walked out of a local parlour on a very busy main road after an afternoon punt, only to be greeted by someone who knows me through my work.
Fortunately he never mentioned anything to my employer.
If he had, I would have lost my my job.
I learned several valuable lessons that day.
Never done that again.

Why would you lose your job for visiting a parlour?

[Jerboa]

A few years ago I was walking out of the front entrance of Sandys Prestwich after a punt, a group of teenage kids were hanging around, a chavvy girl shouted you dirty bastard, yes iam, like I give a shit, was 200 miles from home.

[lostandfound]

Why would you lose your job for visiting a parlour?

Some people have ethical or morality behaviour clauses in their contracts of employment.

[webpunter]

Some people have ethical or morality behaviour clauses in their contracts of employment.

Local councils & the like take a dim view of this.  Boring fuckers.  I had one job where my boss would tell me to line up entertainment for later in the evening.  Although we made sure only a very tight circle of people knew what was going on.  Submitting dummy expenses to cover cash expenditure.  Happy days

[Stiltskin]

Why would you lose your job for visiting a parlour?

Maybe he's a vicar

[socks]

Jumpers for goal posts / next goal wins.  Then home for tea.  Happy days back then

and of course it was mum you'd be in trouble with and not for long. Nowadays a late return to a suspicious OH...well, best not go there...

[Dougie]

Few weeks ago on way out of a estate, the flat was on the ground floor I bump into some kids who playing footy who asked me if I had a good time. Quite an awkward moment just smiled and walked away.

[Urban_G]

In my early punting days I used to visit a parlour in SE London that was opposite a cafe, both were on the corner of a busy A road. You had to walk up some fire escape stairs to get to the flat and it was in full view of the cafe customers. It didn't bother me too much but I did wonder if anyone in there knew what went on.

Another place I visited (some years later) was in a purpose built block of flats and on a couple of occassions I saw maintenance guys working in there. Once as I arrived and had just knocked on the door of the parlour, one of them walked past me. I mentioned it to the maid but she said not to worry, "they all know what goes on in here", not reassuring for me really. When I left I saw him again, he said nothing, but just nodded at me with a knowing smile on his face, I don't remember what my reaction was but I just got out of there.

[JoeyRamone]

Never had any problems as such, was almost caught out on my first visit to a hotel though (which incidentally is really close to my house, like a few streets away). WG text me from the carpark to go through front door, passed reception and turn left. So that's what I did and I end up in an empty disused bar area. Great, so back to the main reception pretending to be on my phone and try going right instead (in case she had got it wrong). Nope, that's an in use bar. Brilliant, so I decide to head outside back to the car and call her, which means going back past the front desk again. Naturally the receptionist has seen me going here there and everywhere and asks me if I'm okay and do I need any help. Had to make up some bullshit about not being able to get signal on my phone inside and that the mrs is moaning (pointing to phone). Probably didn't buy it, but when I'd got the actual directions and went back in again, she didn't say anything.

Another hotel (that didn't involve a front desk), I left the room only to find a maid cleaning out the room opposite, and we met face to face in the narrow corridor. She looked me up and down and said "Hello" to me, so I said "afternoon" and strolled off.

Punting a private flat on a busy main road in Golders Green (right next to Golders Green station) and I'd been directed to a fruit and veg shop on the main road, with instruction to call her when I'm there. Soppy tart doesn't pick up! So cue me prancing about on the street trying to get through on the phone. she eventually answers and tells me it's door number whatever directly across the road - right next to a coffee shop with people sitting outside on the pavement drinking expresso's and the like. So I cross the road and ring the bell expecting she'd be waiting at the door - nope! Now I have to stand there for what feels like forever, but in reality was probably less than 10 seconds, wondering if everyone is bogging at me.

On the whole I don't really care. I don't often punt in my own town (mainly because there's fuck all here), so as long as I'm not getting confrontation and/or having to explain anything, I don't really care if people do know why I'm there, to be honest

[Silver Birch]

Had an awkward one at a Gatwick Hotel. I took a ticket at the barrier and parked my car. When I looked at the ticket it said "Free parking - Please take to Reception to be validated on departure".

After an energetic punt, 2 staff on reception watched me exit the lift and bring my parking ticket to them. The guy seemed to have limited English and just said "What room number?" as I handed him the ticket. Rather flustered, and already red-faced I told him I didn't have a room but just had a meeting. "what room number?" he repeated.

He didn't understand my reply and said in a raised voice "What room number?" Then started pointing at the lift almost shouting "What room were you in?" and then I think the situation dawned on him, and the other receptionist, and all the guests in reception too!

He validated the ticket, and I fled. Never been back to that hotel.

[snaitram99]

You missed out on the punchline: "yeah she took care of my stiff muscle"

  Wish I'd thought of that at the time. Just heard the medicine shop has closed now though. Very sad ending  unless they re-open in the area somewhere to restore happiness   

[Jerboa]

Had an awkward one at a Gatwick Hotel. I took a ticket at the barrier and parked my car. When I looked at the ticket it said "Free parking - Please take to Reception to be validated on departure".

After an energetic punt, 2 staff on reception watched me exit the lift and bring my parking ticket to them. The guy seemed to have limited English and just said "What room number?" as I handed him the ticket. Rather flustered, and already red-faced I told him I didn't have a room but just had a meeting. "what room number?" he repeated.

He didn't understand my reply and said in a raised voice "What room number?" Then started pointing at the lift almost shouting "What room were you in?" and then I think the situation dawned on him, and the other receptionist, and all the guests in reception too!

He validated the ticket, and I fled. Never been back to that hotel.

Thats a indiscreet hotel, if this was happening with every punter they'd soon twig.

[rg41]

Maybe he's a vicar

He is just checking out the wellbeing of his flock.