Have you been caught or almost caught?

[Stiltskin]

Anyhow, my point is to really "don't" get complacent, because if you DO get caught you'll find yourself in a very lonely place as no one will take your side.....

Be careful out there!

So true. There are guys on here (probably single) that laugh about the effort we put into covering our tracks, but when you think what's at stake! The worst thing you can do is rouse their suspicions, because it's pretty easy to get someone to spy on you. I know of someone who was caught out in a similar way.

The closest I've come to being caught is getting a letter through the post of me driving the wife's car in a bus lane. Lucky that I opened the letter as I had no excuse for being there. This was a bit of a wake up call, always have a reason to be where you're going.

[Wooderz]

It's pretty much 20 years ago now, so almost feels like a different life - my ex married again pretty much as soon as we divorced to someone she had been seeing for a long time, so my conclusion has always been she "got lucky" that I was up to something sufficient to get rid of me hook, line and sinker that she stumbled upon. I was angry for probably a decade or so and avoided relationships, but time is a healer I'm surprisingly on good terms with ex and her husband having learnt the power of forgiveness...…

Anyhow, my point is to really "don't" get complacent, because if you DO get caught you'll find yourself in a very lonely place as no one will take your side.....

Be careful out there!

A monkey doesn't let go of one branch until it has another one lined up.. Standard female behavior..

[King Kenny]

Funny thing this, but Mumsnet has a post from a woman who is either definitely OP's other half, or it's OP having a laugh.External Link/Members Only

[Wooderz]

Funny thing this, but Mumsnet has a post from a woman who is either definitely OP's other half, or it's OP having a laugh.External Link/Members Only

Good golly fuck.. "I'll try to reply back to people as soon as I can but I may need to disappear when he's around as I'm posting from a second laptop that he doesn't know about."

[Punterperson1971]

Funny thing this, but Mumsnet has a post from a woman who is either definitely OP's other half, or it's OP having a laugh.External Link/Members Only

The op has now been mentioned on mums net

[Kingy28]

Funny thing this, but Mumsnet has a post from a woman who is either definitely OP's other half, or it's OP having a laugh.External Link/Members Only

Haha, it was a pretty good effort as a pisstake on Mumsnet. Unfortunately rumbled 

[Payyourwaymate]

Just a final question to either put my mind at ease or change my ways...

Can anyone find out which websites you have visited when using incognito mode on google chrome ?

I am actually using incognito mode writing this post

Many Thanks

Download bleachbit, normally allows you to completely wipe off your history from your drive in case your computer gets confiscated. If I remember correctly, Hilary Clinton had bleachbit to remove some of the emails during her email scandal  . Whether that story is true is a different matter.

[Jayf]

Funny thing this, but Mumsnet has a post from a woman who is either definitely OP's other half, or it's OP having a laugh.External Link/Members Only

Why you looking through mums net lol 

[King Kenny]

Why you looking through mums net lol 

also you have just advertised specifics of your event... if your mrs should be suspicious , is a mumsnetter, starts digging around; she will eventually learn about this site.

It will be a bit suspicious if another bloke was in a similar conundrum...   (next step she signs up, correlates your movements to your review history... etc  )

[tr!gger]

A mate of mine fell asleep with his laptop open while he was signed in on this site and his girlfriend spent the evening digging into his posts and comments. It didn't end well !

[magnetico]

Don't lock into your gmail/yahoo or hotmail account whilst in incognito.They will still record your activity/search regardless. You have to manually delete those if you do.

What kind of bullshit is that?

[Home Alone]

So true. There are guys on here (probably single) that laugh about the effort we put into covering our tracks, but when you think what's at stake!

Fair do's, Stiltskin; I, for one, don't laugh at the effort you and others have to put into covering your tracks. I simply say that I know if I had an OH, I'm such a poor liar, I'd easily be caught out.

[GreyDave]

A mate of mine fell asleep with his laptop open while he was signed in on this site and his girlfriend spent the evening digging into his posts and comments. It didn't end well !

This is now a worry for me and I have returned ( mid journey out ) back to computer to check all off and clear 

I know it is maybe my achiles heal and I will be found out via it one day .....

I try to be a Walter Mitty type Guy at work I tell big stories a big things up no one belives ...that way when I say " I was shagging a blonde tart last week in Soho " yeah I`ve been in Bukkake films " and at swingers parties ".....no one belives the balding pot bellied trainer and draw pants fool ( Me ) 

[Sebco]

I had a close one a few years ago, when I went for a punt in Birmingham. The girl was riding me when the condom split. I was mortified as I had popped my load too. Going back home to my wife and kids I was in a state of panic. Got very drunk for the next few days so my wouldn’t come close to me..I waited a week then went to the GU clinic as I thought going straight away might be to early to show any infection. My wife was very suspicious why was acting weird, going pub on my own etc. I then had a brainwave, told her I was jumping in the shop bin to squash the rubbish and a discarded needle scratched my leg. Did the whole GU clinic thing again, had to use protection for 3 months etc.. anyway I didn’t catch anything. Was all too close!! I must be stupid but it never stopped me punting, just use the extra safe condoms.. shit happens!!

[mh]

I then had a brainwave, told her I was jumping in the shop bin to squash the rubbish and a discarded needle scratched my leg.

Smart thinking, batman! 

[Sebco]

A few years ago I went for a punt in Birmingham. The girl was riding me hard, when the the condom split. I was mortified as I had also popped my load. It was l long drive back to my wife and 2 kids. The next few days I got very drunk so my wife wouldn’t go near me. She knew something was up as I acting very erratic. Anyway I had to think of something for not being intimate..I had a brainwave, I told her I was jumping in the shop bin to squash down the rubbish where I work and a discarded needle scratched my leg. Went to the GU clinic and got the all clear. Had u use protection for the next 3 months due to HIV repeat test. When I say I got a close call!! I must be stupid but I have punted again, just make sure the condoms are the extra safe ones..

[petergriffin]

The mumsnet post seems to have been deleted. Does anyone know the time it was posted and I can hopefully eliminate my OH or start crapping my back to front boxer shorts ?

Now it's me doing the snooping lol

[Sebco]

Posted it twice sorry

[Ipman1973]

The one and only time i risked an in call during my married days.
Thought I was being clever and used the living room.
1st thing my wife said next day upon return, " why are the throws on the other couches ?"...shrugged my shoulders and wandered off...
And if she does trawl the internet and the story sounds familiar,
To late darling the legal stuff is all long done and dusted. 

[Metalgear2018]

I had lipstick on my lip from a Romanain escort. I went to meet my wife at a restaurant. As I was walking towards my wife I looked in a shop window. I saw red lipstick on my lips. Me..... a black man wearing lipstick!!!!! Anyway, I walked into Boots, and I bought wet wipes.

[MrMatrix]

A mate of mine fell asleep with his laptop open while he was signed in on this site and his girlfriend spent the evening digging into his posts and comments. It didn't end well !

I know someone who did the same and currently getting separated. I too have nearly done the same. Well scarey

[m4rmite]

I had a punt just before xmas, it was risky timing due to a family issue but it was a tourer so was now or never. Not reviewed as a well reviewed lady and all was positive.

Only last week my wife mentioned "the night i went for a drink" , my reply? aren't i allowed to enjoy myself?
If the wife opened her drawers i wouldn't be punting and after  25 ears of marriage i think i can say i've put up with more than enough excuses from her for not having sex.

Just saving up to pay off the mortgage so if it went south at least we can sell and split it, im hoping to be all saved up by end  of this year.

Either that or squirrel it off to  one side and move to Thailand

I've punted within 6-900 yards of my house but always made sure i had a reason to  be in the vicinity.
If you're reading this my dear - open your legs once in a while.

[MrMatrix]

I had a punt just before xmas, it was risky timing due to a family issue but it was a tourer so was now or never. Not reviewed as a well reviewed lady and all was positive.

Only last week my wife mentioned "the night i went for a drink" , my reply? aren't i allowed to enjoy myself?
If the wife opened her drawers i wouldn't be punting and after  25 ears of marriage i think i can say i've put up with more than enough excuses from her for not having sex.

Just saving up to pay off the mortgage so if it went south at least we can sell and split it, im hoping to be all saved up by end  of this year.

Either that or squirrel it off to  one side and move to Thailand

Sounds so familiar to so many on this site.
Will you really move to Thailand after the mortgage is paid up?

[Sebco]

I once foolishly booked a regular girl on my main phone, I stored it a as “graham - roofer”. Night before booking me and my wife was at restaurant, She was googling something on my phone. This dumb ass WG girl texts to say, “hi babes you still on for tomorrow” like wtf!! My blood just drained from my face!! My wife went ballistic!! I Said it was a mistake, and the roofer must be texting his girlfriend. I got the phone deleted her number and put in a number of one of my “builders” numbers. She called the number behind my back, and a she heard a man voice. Phew!! It validated my story. Saw this WG the next day, told her off, then had some angry sex lol

[Kingy28]

I once foolishly booked a regular girl on my main phone, I stored it a as “graham - roofer”. Night before booking me and my wife was at restaurant, She was googling something on my phone. This dumb ass WG girl texts to say, “hi babes you still on for tomorrow” like wtf!! My blood just drained from my face!! My wife went ballistic!! I Said it was a mistake, and the roofer must be texting his girlfriend. I got the phone deleted her number and put in a number of one of my “builders” numbers. She called the number behind my back, and a she heard a man voice. Phew!! It validated my story. Saw this WG the next day, told her off, then had some angry sex lol

Lol? I'm not seeing much to lol about there 

[m4rmite]

Sounds so familiar to so many on this site.
Will you really move to Thailand after the mortgage is paid up?

I said pay the mortgage off or move to Thailand
But moving does sound the more enticing option

[Wooderz]

I had a punt just before xmas, it was risky timing due to a family issue but it was a tourer so was now or never. Not reviewed as a well reviewed lady and all was positive.

Only last week my wife mentioned "the night i went for a drink" , my reply? aren't i allowed to enjoy myself?
If the wife opened her drawers i wouldn't be punting and after  25 ears of marriage i think i can say i've put up with more than enough excuses from her for not having sex.

Just saving up to pay off the mortgage so if it went south at least we can sell and split it, im hoping to be all saved up by end  of this year.

Either that or squirrel it off to  one side and move to Thailand

I've punted within 6-900 yards of my house but always made sure i had a reason to  be in the vicinity.
If you're reading this my dear - open your legs once in a while.

[Wooderz]

a man should stand up for his right to punt from word go.. I would laugh if any woman expected me to keep my dick hers only.. She had better have something good to replace all my pleasures, to say the least.. the nature of men and women is different and few people really understand how..

[bushman]

a man should stand up for his right to punt from word go.. I would laugh if any woman expected me to keep my dick hers only.. She had better have something good to replace all my pleasures, to say the least.. the nature of men and women is different and few people really understand how..

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone else? I mean an actual person? You come across as a wee bit immature.

[Bogof60]

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone else? I mean an actual person? You come across as a wee bit immature.

+1
And a bit of a Billy big bollocks to boot

[cueball]

+1
And a bit of a Billy big bollocks to boot

+2

Seagull

[Wooderz]

haha.. How I come across is fair comment but as a divorced man I know what is what and know what tis worth too.. Most married men have capitulated years before the wedding cake cure for nymphomania anyway.. Not me.. 

[Spiceoflife]

I've punted within 6-900 yards of my house   

6 yards? Is that next door? 

[Wooderz]

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone else? I mean an actual person? You come across as a wee bit immature.

If its immature to only consider "relationships" with women who agree to my terms then sure.. If signing up to an exclusive relationshit with a woman who can at any point close her legs and cuntructively dismiss me and fuck me over is a sign of maturity.. OK... And if folks in such a position have to duck and dive and dodge around because they have a craving for secret muff, I understand the prickdickament they are in..

Of course, many pros are married, apparently.. And how many punters bat an eyelid? Obviously hubby is ok with it too.. Hardly a stretch to imagine many wives are not bothered what hubby does with his todger.. As long as madam can sit at home and eat cake all day..

I could be a boring bastard and give "approved standard advice".. If you are in a relationshit where you need to punt in secret because you are worried she might find out.. Either quit punting, or prepare your exit strategy, because you are likely to be out of favour with she who must be obeyed soon anyway..

But no, good luck fellows and do what you need to do, I understand we are all different..

[nato1979]

I’m a single guy but and it had no risk for me but I once found the condom wrapper from a punt the previous day on my kitchen floor. It had presumably stuck to my body and I carried it home.

[Bogof60]

If its immature to only consider "relationships" with women who agree to my terms then sure.. If signing up to an exclusive relationshit with a woman who can at any point close her legs and cuntructively dismiss me and fuck me over is a sign of maturity.. OK... And if folks in such a position have to duck and dive and dodge around because they have a craving for secret muff, I understand the prickdickament they are in..

Of course, many pros are married, apparently.. And how many punters bat an eyelid? Obviously hubby is ok with it too.. Hardly a stretch to imagine many wives are not bothered what hubby does with his todger.. As long as madam can sit at home and eat cake all day..

I could be a boring bastard and give "approved standard advice".. If you are in a relationshit where you need to punt in secret because you are worried she might find out.. Either quit punting, or prepare your exit strategy, because you are likely to be out of favour with she who must be obeyed soon anyway..

But no, good luck fellows and do what you need to do, I understand we are all different..

Now you are just being a cunt

[Wooderz]

Now you are just being a cunt

Not sure I follow your logic. If straight talking offends you that's your choice to be offended. Doesn't make me a female organ of reproduction. You, know, one of those things many folk are willing to pay a days wage to worship here and then worry about she who must be obeyed finding out. Well, a good chance she will some day.. 

[Bigwilts]

I’m a single guy but and it had no risk for me but I once found the condom wrapper from a punt the previous day on my kitchen floor. It had presumably stuck to my body and I carried it home.

Are you absolutely certain it was your condom?
You may unwittingly have caught the wife at it as well

[Home Alone]

If straight talking offends you that's your choice to be offended. Doesn't make me a female organ of reproduction.

No; one of the things that makes you a cunt, imo, is your inability to talk straight when, apparently, it suits you not to. As above.

Also writing like a North American teenager when, apparently, you're a British bloke with many years of experience of punting.

Have to say I agree with Bogof60's opinion. As my OH used to say, "If wit was shit, you'd be constipated."

[Slowjoe]

What kind of bullshit is that?

I don't know about hotmail etc, but I do know that if an ipad is logged into the google and you search in private browsing mode in safari - the search history from private appears in your google account, on any other devices logged into the same google account. Just the search history, not webpages. Just be careful what you search on google if not your device

[jeanphillipe]

The mumsnet post seems to have been deleted. Does anyone know the time it was posted and I can hopefully eliminate my OH or start crapping my back to front boxer shorts ?

Now it's me doing the snooping lol

Are you sure it's not someone on here winding you up after they read my post.

[Wooderz]

No; one of the things that makes you a cunt, imo, is your inability to talk straight when, apparently, it suits you not to. As above.

Also writing like a North American teenager when, apparently, you're a British bloke with many years of experience of punting.

Have to say I agree with Bogof60's opinion. As my OH used to say, "If wit was shit, you'd be constipated."

Can't Understood Normal Thinking...   Maybe I have a different way of looking a tit.. Still doesn't make me a final resting place for seamen..
As I read on a toilet cubicle wall many years ago.. "One would think, to read such wit, Shakespeare himself, did pen this shit.."

[Silver Birch]

Are you absolutely certain it was your condom?
You may unwittingly have caught the wife at it as well

 

Pity he had already said he was single, because your comment would most certainly have created some serious doubts in his mind! 

[fallentrees1321]

A mate of mine fell asleep with his laptop open while he was signed in on this site and his girlfriend spent the evening digging into his posts and comments. It didn't end well !

Oh boy I feel for your mate , that's fairly brutal

[jeanphillipe]

Are you absolutely certain it was your condom?
You may unwittingly have caught the wife at it as well

Literally, his first words are: I'm a single guy....

[mh]

relationshit
...
cuntructively
...
prickdickament

This crap really is getting very tiresome.

[James999]

This crap really is getting very tiresome.

I have a feeling that the idiot Wooderz will not be a member here for much longer 

[Brazilian Martian]

Here are some answers you can have ready for next time:

- They are not back to front, you're looking at me in a mirror right now
- I came in my pants when thinking about you so had to turn them round
- I shat myself (when thinking about you? ) so had to turn them round
- I've heard that it helps with erectile dysfunction

Or how about simply that you put them on backwards in the morning (or does she watch you get dressed as well as monitor your bathroom visits?).

 

[MrMatrix]

I have a feeling that the idiot Wooderz will not be a member here for much longer 

I was thinking the same. Been a member here for 2 years and suddenly this last 2 months he's every where..... Every thread .......

[threechilliman]

I was thinking the same. Been a member here for 2 years and suddenly this last 2 months he's every where..... Every thread .......

Makes me suspicious as well.