Oddest thing to happen on a punt

[s8ds8ck]

Inspired by a thread on weird Wetherspoons occurrences, what oddities have you encountered while punting?

This springs to mind:
Visited Khloe of Colindale a few years ago - decent. When I came to leave, she could not open the door. She and her flatmate said it had been happening for a while - so her mate went out through the bedroom window (ground floor flat luckily 😂) and opened it from the outside. Cool.
Except Khloe re-did her goodbyes and let the door close on us, which the two girls thought was hilarious. Cue Khloe to exit through the window and this time i got out asap. The girls were still giggling. Fuck knows what the neighbours thought…

[el-fei]

I remember booking Ameera (god bless that girl, she was great) at the old hotel in Euston which got knocked down a few years back.

I was her first punter of the day and met her as she got dropped off by I assume her boyfriend? I still remember her figure hugging long blue dress, sunnies and denim jacket... Anyway she hadn't paid the hotel so my actual fee was handed over instantly to the hotel manager. I stood there with her paying him at the counter. Felt very odd.

It was worth it though! She was so apologetic that as soon as we got into the lift it got wild all the way to the room were it just got wilder and wilder. A top experience.

[PilotMan]

I was in the middle of a punt when the girl and her flatmates had to forcibly eject a drunk / drugged punter. I carried on with the punt when the girl returned. The other punter was partially collapsed at the front door as I left, with what looked like a bouncer overseeing him.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=384865.0

[mrwhite]

Hotel booking (in a Hilton - which might not have the cachet it once had) despite the do not disturb sign hanging on the door and the shout of "Come back later" in answer to the knock, the cleaner barged in mid shag!

[funfungoodguy]

About twenty five years ago a girl was delivered to my house by a driver, from an agency I used based at Brighton. The girl was clearly away with the fairies/ on something/ had taken something, and decided she needed 'to have a little sleep' settling into an armchair.  I decided to get her off the premises asap in case of worse. Mobile phones were newish but thankfully when I rang the agency woman she was able to contact the driver who turned up, took one look at the girl and agreed she was probably stoned, and walked her out to the car. Of the money I gave him £20. I used the agency again but didn't hear more about the girl.   

[N17]

Having a punt a number of years ago with Donna Marie, was quite an odd and surreal thing, I had booked her as something of a TOFFT, and needless to say it was just awful!

[PilotMan]

Having a punt a number of years ago with Donna Marie, was quite an odd and surreal thing, I had booked her as something of a TOFFT, and needless to say it was just awful!

You haven't explained why it was odd and surreal.

Are we supposed to know something about this Donna Marie, is she famous?

[theaccountant]

Hmmmm, I did have a punt a few years back where the SP's Baby Daddy was outside the apartment door trying to come in while I was in the middle of fucking. Turns out he didn't like the fact that she was escorting on the side and wanted to be the only man to fuck her. It was an hour or so of him and her texting back and forth with me in the room with her. I could hear him crying outside the apartment for a good half an hour. Once things settled down, me and the SP carried on fucking for a while. Ended up being an overnight booking in the end.

Safe to say, I didn't run into him when I eventually left; otherwise, I was ready for a tumble.

[Ivor Hunch]

an outcall meeting with an eastern europoean sp who had recently started going out an eastern european in "diplomatic"/ espionage service.

continually texting him, as she was very concerned that if she did not reply promptly to his messages, he would realise she was not tucked up at home as she was meant to be.

she was pretty hot, so from my perspective, not as bad as it sounds, but clearly not ideal.

[Punterperson1971]

My regular had a friend and she asked if I wanted a meet with her,her friend was 50 plus blonde big naturals and decent body on her(she was an ex wg)so I’m in one room giving her mate RO and my regular came in with a slave as he wanted to see what was going on and he walked past while she was having her pussy licked.
Same regular this time she had a slave there and another guy along with another of her friends and the one guy was on floor sucking the slave off while the slave was watching me while I was fucking my regular while she was talking dirty and the lady who was with her was filming it all,it went from me giving my regular RO to ow on me to me fucking her from behind to reverse cowgirl in front of her slave while he was being sucked off.
Had a few crazy times with her but I’ve known her for 20 years we go way back.

[Punterperson1971]

Double post

[PilotMan]

an outcall meeting with an eastern europoean sp who had recently started going out an eastern european in "diplomatic"/ espionage service.

I don't believe that a person who is actually in any form of espionage is going to reveal their identity that easily, or even at all. It's all about using that ploy to control someone and sounds exactly like "The Puppet Master".

True story  - it's on Netflix:

The Puppet Master: Hunting The Ultimate Conman contains everything we love in a good documentary – tension, twists and true crime. The new series is based on the very real life case of Robert Hendy-Freegard, a 51-year-old British man who masqueraded as an MI5 agent in order to control his victims

[RandomGuy99]

Getting chased by the receptionist up 20 flights of stairs in a hotel on my way to an SP.  Fortunately the SP has left the door to the floor and their room unlocked. Got into the room a lot stressed, so much so that I couldn't get it up. What a waste of money that was.

Another time with the same SP in the same hotel I was trying to be discreet and met her outside the hotel thinking we were discreetly make our way into the hotel.  However, the SP walked us both to the front desk and asked for a room and I had to fumble around in my pocket for the cash to pay for it.

[hrm69]

Hotel booking (in a Hilton - which might not have the cachet it once had) despite the do not disturb sign hanging on the door and the shout of "Come back later" in answer to the knock, the cleaner barged in mid shag!

I had similar in a hotel a few years ago. Though I forgot to hang the do not disturb sign up 

It was a mid morning outcall to my hotel, I has asked her to dress discreetly given the time of day with cleaners etc.

She either didn’t read that message or ignored it and came dressed in a very short mini dress, porn star heels on and a black blazer (to make it look like she was coming for an interview 😂). This was November time and freezing. A male cleaner then tried to get in the room but sub consciously I put the snib on the door when the girl arrived and shouted not needed just now thanks.

Another where the bed was that wobbly I thought it was going to collapse, was an old wooden framed one. The girl did apologise to be fair.

Thats about as exciting from me!!

[southcoastpunter]

Many years ago, like the Op, i got locked in a flat with a working girl!

The flat belonged to Exclusive Bella who had lent it to her friend Oliva (can't remember her working name) who was new to the industry. Bella had gone out and left us to it telling Oliva to just close the main door behind her as it had one of those locks that automatically lock behind you.

Oliva and I were in the bedroom doing what we went there to do when we heard the front door open. we knew it wasn't Bella and stopped mid-action. Oliva whispered to me it might be the managing agent who needed to do a meter reading (the meter was in the hallway). anyway about 30 seconds later we heard the door close as he left so we carried on.

at the end of our session, we had a shower together, got dressed and went to leave but the front door was double locked from outside and you needed to be outside and have a key to open the door. our only option was to phone Bella and ask her to come back. she was about 45 minutes away - well what were we to do whilst we waited?? so it turned into a double session!

ah, those were the days when i could do a double session within an hour or so without any "help" from a little blue thing!

Around about the same time, I also had an Indian Escort insist on cooking me a "proper" Indian meal afterwards. She had a fabulous body and was a good fuck too but sadly decided Escorting wasn't for her and quit a month or so later!

[aquilla]

Many years ago, mid punt, a girl asked me if she could bite me 

Errrr.. No, I don't think so!
Explain that to the other half!

[Eager Thighs]

Positioned myself behind a WG for some doggy only to discover she had the hairiest arse cheeks I've ever seen  (see my TrickyVicki19 review from 2016 for more details)

[GreyDave]

  Most laughable for me was a long while ago in Welyn Garden in a flat I was luckily doing a great WG who was showing off to her maid who wanted to become a WG as cash was so good anyways I was doing her doggy and she was giving a running comentary to maid how she responded to my thrusts ect when .....DING DO BANG BANG Council Officers Council tax register at door She pulled her self off me and opened a wardrode to slip on quite the naffest corded dressing gown and a pair of real old slippers she bounded out of the room and answered the door stalling the 2 blokes there I stood with a dwindling erection with the maid laughing silently covering her mouth with hand ...5- 10 mins passed before shed got rid when she came back in and saw the limp member I had she looked at the maid and said " Right now Im gonna show you how to fluff up and getem straight in a few miniutes "....sure engough I was back up with ball squezing and in to mish to finish ( having rememberd that It was 20 years ago  "

[jimbobted]

Was delighted to have a particularly fit and enthusiastic escort rock up at my hotel in Cardiff a few years ago.
She apologies for turning up in civvies for discretion (I was pleased she had), and went into he bathroom to get changed.
After that is was full on snogging, dirty talk etc and she was delighted when she discovered I'm a bit kinky, and upended her bag to produce some rope etc to use on her.
A bit later I'm pounding away in missionary, she suddenly says "Spit in my mouth you dirty bastard"  .

[Landscape]

During a crap punt, it suddenly became a threesome with the introduction of the SP's cat.

Friendly little thing, it was the only pussy in the room that enjoyed being played with.

[Thephoenix]

Positioned myself behind a WG for some doggy only to discover she had the hairiest arse cheeks I've ever seen  (see my TrickyVicki19 review from 2016 for more details)

Any relation to Sticky? 

[Demon8]

Had to go with a plan B. She was gorgeous, friendly, but the place was a tip and she was working with another SP in the flat. We were just finishing up when we hear her colleague shouting "NO NO NOT THAT DOOR!" And as the door swings open I make eye contact with the punter meeting the other SP.

[Alexmck]

Most laughable for me was a long while ago in Welyn Garden in a flat I was luckily doing a great WG who was showing off to her maid who wanted to become a WG as cash was so good anyways I was doing her doggy and she was giving a running comentary to maid how she responded to my thrusts ect when .....DING DO BANG BANG Council Officers Council tax register at door She pulled her self off me and opened a wardrode to slip on quite the naffest corded dressing gown and a pair of real old slippers she bounded out of the room and answered the door stalling the 2 blokes there I stood with a dwindling erection with the maid laughing silently covering her mouth with hand ...5- 10 mins passed before shed got rid when she came back in and saw the limp member I had she looked at the maid and said " Right now Im gonna show you how to fluff up and getem straight in a few miniutes "....sure engough I was back up with ball squezing and in to mish to finish ( having rememberd that It was 20 years ago  "

Respect

[Thephoenix]

Many years ago I was in the old grotty Cabin Sauna/Massage in  New Ferry  Birkenhead when it was raided by Mr Plod.

The old GILF masseuse who was giving.me a HE dashed out of the room, so for some reason I thought I'd nip into the adjacent sauna cabin.

Shortly after, the cabin door was opened by a pretty WPC, and she exclaimed " Allo Allo Allo!...What have we here then?"

All I could think to say was " I'm just here to enjoy the sauna luv"

I don't think she was impressed as it was freezing cold, and the sauna hadn't worked for months.

She's probably still telling the story on retired police forums as I am here.

[Plan R]

After a punt in Docklands about 15yrs ago.. the English Bbw WG I'd seen asked if I'd like to stay a while and eat.
I said why not and she rustled up a nice pizza as far as I recall, I was there a few hours till nearly midnight.
I think she was just feeling a bit sorry for herself/lonely that night.
Probably run-of-the-mill for some of the studs here - but it was an unusual occurrence for me.

[jesterman]

Got into the 69 position, and noticed a little piece of loo roll stuck to her butthole.
Did my job well and when she cum and everything started squirming around it fell off into my eye.

[mr.bluesky]

Pretty sure this topic has been covered before but here goes.
I was in a service providers bedroom getting undressed ready to start a punt when the lady’s parents turned up to visit. Had to quietly get dressed and sneak out of her flat after she let them in , then go sit in my car for half hour until after they left to resumed the punt . (and after all that she was nothing special anyway)

[fatboy]

Some years ago I had a punt with a WG in Colchester who lived off Magdalen Street.
Did the business, a pleasant punt and in general chit chat after said that I used to live
near there just off the Mersea Road.
Which Road she said ? I told her.
Oh I used to live there when young says she.
Turns out she was the little girl three doors down whose parents I knew quite well in those days gone by. 
How we laughed.

[Blackpool Rock]

Had a couple of notable (shit) things before I was a member here, I should have walked and would like to think that I would now with more experience under my belt -

Turned up to a house on an estate in Blackpool, front door looked like it had been forced and I stupidly went in anyway thinking WTF am I doing 
Other doors were off their hinges and holes punched in walls etc, the girl herself looked OK and I can only imagine the place had been broken into and they were using it, when I say they there was an older woman there about 60 who was cooking stuff in the kitchen

The bed was a mattress on the floor and all I got was covered oral and a HJ while the old fat munter stood watching 


On another occasion I turned up to an old house in Blackburn, quite big and looked Ok from the outside, the sort of place that was probably a guest house or large family home with a maid back in the day
I'd had 2nd and 3rd thoughts about the girl before booking and these days wouldn't even entertain booking her as I go on gut feeling a lot more, I was sat outside in my car round the corner for 20 or 30 minutes calling and texting before she answered, thought i'd been ghosted and wish I had of been though I was dying for a piss
She comes down into the front driveway to collect me, I suspect otherwise punters were turning on their heels and leaving once they got inside and saw the state of the place.
I was led in and there were electric wires hanging down from the ceiling and out of the walls etc, apparently the place was just about to be renovated but you could tell fuck all had been done for years and half the plaster was missing from the walls too

I carried on as I was almost pissing myself, got in her room and she sat in a chair and started drinking from a can of special brew, it was about 2 in the afternoon and apparently the wait was due to her having fallen asleep (pissed)
I ask for the toilet while looking around the room which was just a shit tip full of junk and clutter everywhere and a stale smell in the air, i'm thinking WTF 
I ask for the loo as I really needed a piss and i'm told it's not in her flat but a shared bathroom back into the hallway and up some stairs, I take a piss and then as i'm walking back i'm thinking I can just bypass her flat and i'm straight out, in my car and off 
Anyway for some moronic fucking reason i go back into her flat FFS 

Start getting it on but she's shit and i'm just thinking skank so struggling to maintain wood and keep going soft during sex so I ask for more oral and CIM which she agrees to.
Now i tend to save it up for a few days before punting and many girls have commented that i'm a heavy cummer (I also put that down to a combination of abstinence and eating a lot of fruit) so i shoot what must have been a weeks worth of jizz into her mouth with quite a powerful ejaculation to the point that apparently some shot straight down her throat but to the point that there was according to her more than her mouth could hold 

Anyway the next thing she jumps up and runs to the sink in the bedroom where she promptly throws up 
The whole experience was just a weird and surreal car crash 

[allroadboy]

Booked an outcall to my home and asked the agency to ensure the girl arrived in a discrete manner.

I imagine my surprise when a police car rolled up and she climbed out of the passenger seat  Apparently the copper was a mate of hers and insisted on dropping her off as he was heading to my area anyway.

[FLYING BLUE]

1 - Had a very nice WG climb over into a 69 & promptly fart, right in my face.....

2 - One parlour lady stopped mid punt, excused herself, went to the far corner of the room & farted, really loud & long & then said "better out than in, eh lover" before asking if I was ready to carry on 

3 - Had a WG steal a big part of my work uniform from my hotel room in the Ukraine - cue much embarrassment the next morning

4 - Half way through a punt (about 35 years ago) with a 19 year old blonde lass from Hull (stunning she was) her 18 year old sister walked into the room and simply joined in - some memories stay with you forever - happy days

[Candyman1900]

I remember quite a few years ago I was new to this all and I booked an outcall to a hotel room from a local agency. Later in the evening I got a call saying the lady was there and which hotel room does she need to be at . 5mins later she's knocking on my door . Now to my suprise as I had picked a lovely tall slim blonde , there stood a 5"4 slim busty Thai lady . I was about to say you're not the person I booked when she jumped me and started dfk me  and ever since then I've had an addiction to Thai ladies as you can tell lol .

[simping]

Pre ukp the wg I saw was a student who was living in shared accommodation and using the place to see her clients. on one of our meets her roommates were hanging about, they heard us and politely kept to themselves as they assumed I was her bf. After the deed I glimpsed the look of utter horror/surprise on their faces as I exited the house. I remember checking her aw page at the time and seeing it got from incall/outcalls to outcalls only lol I wonder why

[Dipper]

Pre ukp the wg I saw was a student who was living in shared accommodation and using the place to see her clients. on one of our meets her roommates were hanging about, they heard us and politely kept to themselves as they assumed I was her bf. After the deed I glimpsed the look of utter horror/surprise on their faces as I exited the house. I remember checking her aw page at the time and seeing it got from incall/outcalls to outcalls only lol I wonder why

You’ve reminded me of something similar with this.

I got some funny looks from a couple in shared accommodation also with a WG. Was then told to keep voices down by her as they were in the next room whilst I pumped away. 

[Ali Katt]

Power cut in a brothel

[Private Parts]

Power cut in a brothel

You or the brothel?
Sorry, coat’s already on!

[RandomGuy99]

3 - Had a WG steal a big part of my work uniform from my hotel room in the Ukraine - cue much embarrassment the next morning

Which part of the uniform did she steal?

Hidden Image/Members Only

[B4bcock]

1 - Had a very nice WG climb over into a 69 & promptly fart, right in my face.....

I was in a parlour with an EE girl who farted whilst massaging me.  She stopped massaging, sat up, sniffed the air then said  "Ees ok, baby, eet doesn't smell.  Eef eet smells eet means I need a poo".

[flybynightpm]

Walked to the approximate location of girl, a busy high street in West London. Rang her for the flat number and she said look up, I looked up and there she was leaning out of a 2nd floor window wearing not a lot, trying to throw a set of keys at me for the security gate. They just missed my head and landed in front of a bunch of folks waiting at a bus stop. They all looked at me and then in the direction of the girl, I just chuckled to myself and strolled on up.

[Steely Dan]

In a posh airport hotel in china.  Book an overpriced agency outcall.  Actually quite a good looking girl and enthusiastic.  But I forgot (or didn't yet know) that China is a one pop place.  So after only 20 min, I'm Softy Dan.  I negotiate for round 2 - will get more cash from ATM after. Carry on - nice punt - round 2 was well worth it.  So after, we go down to ATM together.  Boring European me and Chinese hooker from central casting - not a real couple .  As we wait for the lift, another guy spots us, and is in the lift with us going down.  I get more RMB.  He chats to 'Candy'.  I subtly give her the extra.  She goes up in the lift with guy 2.  For her: double prize!

[summernirvana]

Well over a decade ago when I was still a lad in my (late) teens. An ad popped up on AW of this lady who had just made her profile on AW, it turned out she was only a mere few blocks from my place.

It was like £30 for a quickie, she looked beautiful in her photos, so I rang her and set up a meet. When I got near her place I was on the phone with her so she could let me know her door number, but instead she must have spotted me from her window and decided to pop out of her house and shout and wave at me while on the sidewalk instead.

But that wasn't the weird thing about this punt. She was indeed beautiful; half Welsh and half Spanish, about 5'9, early 20s, gorgeous pale skin, a face very similar to Natalie Portman's.

But, as we made our way in, I spotted a baby trolley.

I also sensed a smell of weed in the place, paranoid me also got the sense there was somebody else there hiding somewhere.

Before I forget, she explicitly told me I was her first ever client - and I believe her, she'd signed up to AW that day, and she was awkward about the whole thing. Pleasant and agreeable attitude but awkward.

And then we got to business and she wouldn't remove her top (due to being self-conscious about the stretch marks on her belly).

And to the real odd situation I still remember to this day was how cavernously loose her vagina was. To this day I think she had the female equivalent of a micro penis; a 'macro vagina' if there's such a thing.

I'm not into this stuff, but one could easily have fisted her without foreplay, a warm up or anything. She really was a true anomaly in that regard.
Of course I played it off and never mentioned anything to her, but Jesus.

[Dipper]

“Cavernously loose” 

Could’ve been over lubed possibly?

[DastardlyDick]

I have nothing to beat the previous shenanigans, but I was once asked b an SP if I was Jewish. Rather odd since she had the evidence (or rather the lack of it) in her hand at the time!

[Southernbloke]

Oddest thing in a punt was probably the time when I ended up fixing a sink and an electric socket in a WGs flat. She asked me pre punt if I could do these repairs and said she would be very grateful. Did the repairs and she charged me the full amount and finished me off early. Not even a bloody thank you.
Never again! 😆

[mr.bluesky]

Oddest thing in a punt was probably the time when I ended up fixing a sink and an electric socket in a WGs flat. She asked me pre punt if I could do these repairs and said she would be very grateful. Did the repairs and she charged me the full amount and finished me off early. Not even a bloody thank you.
Never again! 😆

A simular sort of thing happened to me with a regular I used to see. Her shower cubicle used to leak so she asked me on the next visit to bring some sealant along with a caulking gun to seal the leak .

[jimbobted]

“Cavernously loose” 

Could’ve been over lubed possibly?

I fooled around with a girl at uni a couple.of times who had a fanny like a wizards sleeve. I guess as OP suggested some girls have humongous vaginas in the same way some guys have humungous dicks.

[Googly7]

Many years ago was with a Thai girl in Central London. Knock on the door is landlord come to check on a leak coming into flat downstairs. She persuades him to leave, I dressed and left, only to find him waiting on the stairs. Still makes me cringe.

[jimbobted]

Oh I've remembered another strange thing that happened on a punt. An overnight with a girl, she was good fun, we clicked. Got back from dinner, we get naked, then she lay on her stomach and asked me to sit with my full weight right in the middle of her back. Now she was tiny, 5 foot 5 and size 4 or 6. I'm 5 foot 10 and flutter between 12 and a half and 13 stone. I was worried I was going to snap her in 2 but she insisted I say there for a few minutes.
Then she declared her back "sorted" and we proceeded to fuck each others brains out.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Some time ago i was quite fond of the 7 or 9  floors of whores AKA Chelsea Cloisters . Arranged via an agency to see this Asain lady got there afterr running quite a bit as was late. Anyway knocked on the door she looked a little surpised she didnt quite look like the website pictires but anyway paid her her fee which was around 10 quid cheaper than the website price, anyway got on with the punt and  had a very gpopd time:)

Just as i was leaving got a ring from the agency asking where i was as the girl was waiting! Turns out they either gave me the wrong flat number, or i noted it wrong it was very close in number to the flat i was in anyway, the girl i saw was with another agency and assumed they sent me without telling them! So in the end i came back a week later to see the giril i was supposed to see and the girl i saw was quite happy to not pay her agencies commision!

In fact a win-win all round, the orignal girl was very good indeed:).. This was just pre my UKP days back when you could drive from Cambridgeshire to the Cloisters and park on the road opposite in the evenings!

[summernirvana]

“Cavernously loose” 

Could’ve been over lubed possibly?

Sadly, no chance.

I've been having sex for 2 decades and her vagina was 10 magnitudes looser than anything else I've come across in that time span.

Vaginas vary in size like our own Johnsons, but she was truly on a spectrum of her own.

I sense she had the equivalent of a micro penis, but I wonder if she knew it. Or if women who have vaginas like that know it, our poor fellow men with micros probably know and deal with it their whole lives but I think ladies with a similar - or equivalent - condition don't suffer as much.


Alas, bless her and bless them.


It is still a punt I find myself thinking about every now and then given the bizarre circumstances of it. And her face was so beautiful, sweet attitude, voice, everything.