Some advice for us punters 🤣🤣

[threechilliman]

A proper handbags thread this has turned into. Ladies, if you wish to argue about grammar, do it on an appropriate forum.

[Revolver69]

Two WGs arguing on a punters forum over spelling. Thought I’d tuned into countdown!!!

(said in a Homer Simpson voice) Mmmmmmm..... Rachel Riley.    Please be sure to let me know if she, or a very close lookalike decides to become a WG (starts drooling....)

 

[mrfishyfoo]

For any pro$$ie you are thinking about spending your hard earn cash on:
1) do a search on ukp. Read all reviews, comments and posts. Do separate searches of their profile name and 6 or 7 digit AW number.
2) check the blacklist
3) check photos are genuine.
4) phone her to check she is genuine, not trafficked, run by sergei. If no phone number than email and ask to speak to her personally before confirming the meet.
5) having confirmed the details in person by phone, email/text the agreement.
6) if not an on the day booking confirm all is ok, and do not set off on journey before approx address/postcode is confirmed.
7) wash your pits and bits, and flannel your arse if you hope to be rimmed. Bit of old spice, don't splash it all over (that was Brut)
8) arrive early, check out Google maps for parking, places to chill rather than hanging around on the street
9) on receipt of address/room walk with purpose and confidence to the door.
10) check her over, is she as described, r u happy? If not then make a non confrontational excuse and leave.
11) still here, confirm services, and price, hand over the money, count together.
12) have a shower (even if you've just had one to be sure you are 100% so there can't be any excuses reservations).
13) maybe unlucky for some. Keep your minimum possessions with you at all times. Relax, enjoy it's meant to be fun, but make sure you get your money worth, you are the customer so don't spare the horses.

Easy organising a paid fuck

Yeah sure it is. 

[mrfishyfoo]

A proper handbags thread this has turned into. Ladies, if you wish to argue about grammar, do it on an appropriate forum.

I had to check we weren't on the Welsh board   

[Hobbit]

This is exactly why women cannot live together in a household. This thread is a perfect example, they will always find something to argue about.

Beside the point – girls, this is a punting website for punters and not for girls to tout, argue or talk about shopping et cetera. You can do that on UKE. Alternatively, if you do want to argue and fight, then perhaps you could set up a fight club and we would happily pay to watch.

[Foxtail17]

Somehow came across this blog entry when browsing for WGs.
Have copy and pasted instead of posting link, as to not give the WG who wrote it free airtime.

"How to Book a London Escort in 6 Easy Steps!

Don't panic! It's super easy.

1.  Use websites like AdultWork, KLE (Kinky London Escorts) and Twitter to browse London escorts' profiles. On AW and KLE, you can even input specifics that you want in your search, such as kinks, hair colour, or whether they are able to host your date ("incall"). Enjoy browsing as many sexy photos as you can handle.

2.  Once you've narrowed it down to your favourite handful, read all the information they have provided for you on their profiles and personal websites. It's also a great idea to set up a dedicated account to follow your favourites on Twitter.

3.  When you know who you want to ask, contact them however they have asked to be contacted, remembering to include your name, email, mobile, when and where you'd like to meet, how long for, and anything in particular you'd like them to bring or do. Most will also ask you to provide the website addresses of other escorts you have met who they can contact for references, as a personal safety precaution.

4.  If your chosen escort wants to meet, she'll let you know how to take it from there. Most will ask for a non-refundable deposit, a standard practice to protect them against cancellations.

5.  Once your date is booked, all you have to do is get ready and be there on time! The further in advance you book, the more excitement and anticipation you get in the run-up. Do whatever you need to feel confident on the day: get an early night, work out, take a long bath, remove any hair you don't want to share, brush and floss your teeth, cotton bud your ears, visit a hygienist, get a colonic, a massage, a manicure, have your favourite suit dry cleaned in good time, meditate... It's totally normal to feel shy getting naked in front of a stranger for the first time, but there is plenty you can do to offset the nerves.

6.  If you haven't paid in advance, remember to bring the correct cash in British sterling discreetly stashed in an unsealed envelope, and hand it over within the first five minutes, right before you get in the shower.

That's it! When you come out of the shower, she'll be waiting for you..."

It escalated pretty quickly 3-6 
Colon cleansing

I once saw this advice condensed down a bit.

1. Find ‘em
2. Fuck ‘em
3. Forget ‘em

[Moby Dick]

@rocbelle @tailseeker
I think you should take your spat elsewhere.
How about get in a boxing or wrestling ring.
Might be able to sell some ringside seats. More chance than separating my money from my wallet for a booking after your unladylike comments

[Moby Dick]

+1
That interfering shit stirring Rebecca can be the referee.
We would need to find some decent lasses to hold up the round cards in between rounds. Need some eye candy.

This is exactly why women cannot live together in a household. This thread is a perfect example, they will always find something to argue about.

Beside the point – girls, this is a punting website for punters and not for girls to tout, argue or talk about shopping et cetera. You can do that on UKE. Alternatively, if you do want to argue and fight, then perhaps you could set up a fight club and we would happily pay to watch.

[Rochelle]

@rocbelle @tailseeker
I think you should take your spat elsewhere.
How about get in a boxing or wrestling ring.
Might be able to sell some ringside seats. More chance than separating my money from my wallet for a booking after your unladylike comments

No more from me on that matter.

[Home Alone]

@rocbelle @tailseeker
I think you should take your spat elsewhere.

Totally agree, Moby Dick.

Isn't that what Saafe's for?

[Hobbit]

Totally agree, Moby Dick.

Isn't that what Saafe's for?

That is what Saafe is for but obviously girls post on UKP to either reply to reviews written about them or tout. It's important to keep the integrity of UKP and therefore any touting is disallowed.

[Hobbit]

No more from me on that matter.

Thank god for that.

[Home Alone]

That is what Saafe is for but obviously girls post on UKP to either reply to reviews written about them or tout. It's important to keep the integrity of UKP and therefore any touting is disallowed.

And by having the words 'Service Provider' beneath their names on here, isn't it a subtle form of touting?

[Hobbit]

And by having the words 'Service Provider' beneath their names on here, isn't it a subtle form of touting?

Precisely. They know this and that is why they do it.

[fallentrees1321]

And by having the words 'Service Provider' beneath their names on here, isn't it a subtle form of touting?

When they start derailing threads having childish arguments about semantics it actually is the exact opposite effect for me . Two girls I cannot imagine anything worse than spending an hour in the company of . More compelling than any red or grey review imo