Post any funny, silly or ridiculous WG's FAQ's you've found.

[Urban_G]

- Copy / paste the FAQ.
- Explain your reasoning (if required).
- Link the profile.

I'll get it started:

Q. Ive never seen an escort before what do I do.
A. The first thing is be on time. Be polite. Walk into the venue and pass the correct fee over first before having a chat about what you would like to do in the booking.

This is bad advice for new punters as they'll likely continue to do it on subsequent punts. I think a good WG should be willing to explain to anyone what they can expect before taking money, it would reassure new punters. I know if I'm handing over £180 for an hour I'd want to know exactly what I'm getting for my hard earned.

External Link/Members Only

[Vice Admiral]

See also this recent thread:
www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=271823.0

[Urban_G]

Oh right, I never saw that thread.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

- Copy / paste the FAQ.
- Explain your reasoning (if required).
- Link the profile.

I'll get it started:

Q. Ive never seen an escort before what do I do.
A. The first thing is be on time. Be polite. Walk into the venue and pass the correct fee over first before having a chat about what you would like to do in the booking.

This is bad advice for new punters as they'll likely continue to do it on subsequent punts. I think a good WG should be willing to explain to anyone what they can expect before taking money, it would reassure new punters. I know if I'm handing over £180 for an hour I'd want to know exactly what I'm getting for my hard earned.

External Link/Members Only

What you can expect from me is clearly written on the enjoys list. What your wanting to get out of the booking should be communicated by you.
There isn’t anything wrong with a little post shower chat about if you would like oral with or without. Or if your more dominant or submissive it sets the tone. We aren’t talking about chatting the time away just a quick couple of lines of what your really going to enjoy or dislike.
If someone had already set this out in the booking request or the text message it wouldn’t apply.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

I’ve amended it so it says we can have a chat confirming services before you pass me the fee. To avoid any confusion. Hope this is now clear.

[finn5555]

What you can expect from me is clearly written on the enjoys list. What your wanting to get out of the booking should be communicated by you.
There isn’t anything wrong with a little post shower chat about if you would like oral with or without. Or if your more dominant or submissive it sets the tone. We aren’t talking about chatting the time away just a quick couple of lines of what your really going to enjoy or dislike.
If someone had already set this out in the booking request or the text message it wouldn’t apply.

Why don’t you put some genuine photos up then people would really know what to expect from you 

[Ashleydowns_milf]

Why don’t you put some genuine photos up then people would really know what to expect from you 

Because all they have to do is click on the list of Porn films and they can see me. I have listed all the titles under a tab on adultwork. I don’t pay £600 for a Photoshoot for it to look like a selfie. Plenty of those in the private gallery.

[finn5555]

Because all they have to do is click on the list of Porn films and they can see me. I have listed all the titles under a tab on adultwork. I don’t pay £600 for a Photoshoot for it to look like a selfie. Plenty of those in the private gallery.

They are all photo shopped and look shite 

[Ashleydowns_milf]

They are all photo shopped and look shite 

Well that “shit” earns me a lot of money and I have many regulars.

It has been said many times before on here. One mans poison is another mans pleasure. There is room in the industry for all types of service providers.  I love what I do and i enjoy it. That comes through in my reviews.

[finn5555]

Well that “shit” earns me a lot of money and I have many regulars.

It has been said many times before on here. One mans poison is another mans pleasure. There is room in the industry for all types of service providers.  I love what I do and i enjoy it. That comes through in my reviews.

So if you earn decent money why not get decent photos plus surely you have significant savings that you don’t have to work during this pandemic 

[Galaxy2016]

They are all photo shopped and look shite 

Well for being one of her regulars, the “shite’ photos obviously work you fool. Being one of the sexiest MILFs in porn is testament to that. Have you actually seen her before casting judgement? Have you actually spoken to her prior to a booking before casting judgement? Have you cammed with her before casting judgement?
She loves her work, is down to earth and loves a good meet.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

So if you earn decent money why not get decent photos plus surely you have significant savings that you don’t have to work during this pandemic 

Most ladies return tomorrow when the schools go back. Expect to see Adultwork explode with the yummy mummy’s. I haven’t worked since March. But glad to be coming back in June. Couldn’t give toss what anyone’s view on that is. My financial goals are no ones business.

You only have to look at the threads on saafe of how many are returning this week. So I’m afraid all this nit picking and listing girls coming back isn’t going to work. Girls want to earn and punters want to punt. We have been in for three months. It’s time. ...

[finn5555]

Well for being one of her regulars, the “shite’ photos obviously work you fool. Being one of the sexiest MILFs in porn is testament to that. Have you actually seen her before casting judgement? Have you actually spoken to her prior to a booking before casting judgement? Have you cammed with her before casting judgement?
She loves her work, is down to earth and loves a good meet.

Did she ask you to post that 

[finn5555]

Most ladies return tomorrow when the schools go back.  It’s time. ...

For you and other pro$$ies to catch and spread the virus 

But it’s your life and if you don’t value it then that’s not my concern 

[tesla]

Well for being one of her regulars, the “shite’ photos obviously work you fool. Being one of the sexiest MILFs in porn is testament to that. Have you actually seen her before casting judgement? Have you actually spoken to her prior to a booking before casting judgement? Have you cammed with her before casting judgement?
She loves her work, is down to earth and loves a good meet.

why are you "white knighting" your last 7 posts on here are about her...

[finn5555]

why are you "white knighting" your last 7 posts on here are about her...

He loves her and she sees him as a cash cow 

Some blokes, like him, are beyond help.

[Galaxy2016]

For you and other pro$$ies to catch and spread the virus 

But it’s your life and if you don’t value it then that’s not my concern 

But from the original thread and topic, she has changed the wording am I right? Then she has taken on board your observation of the wording.

[Galaxy2016]

He loves her and she sees him as a cash cow 

Some blokes, like him, are beyond help.

Really? I love your humour, I really do.
Gotta love the debate here, and you are the master of the debate obviously

[finn5555]

But from the original thread and topic, she has changed the wording am I right? Then she has taken on board your observation of the wording.

Wasn’t my observation fella I pointed out that this so called high class porn star has shit photos 

[justalad]

Well for being one of her regulars, the “shite’ photos obviously work you fool. Being one of the sexiest MILFs in porn is testament to that. Have you actually seen her before casting judgement? Have you actually spoken to her prior to a booking before casting judgement? Have you cammed with her before casting judgement?
She loves her work, is down to earth and loves a good meet.

Sounds like you’re attempting to ride to the rescue to me.

[CheeseBoard]

Funny how you have to take a compulsory shower after handing over your hard earned, even if you have just had one.  No issue if you haven't had a shower, but this sounds like a typical timewasting tactic.  If you take 10 mins, its cost you £30 notes / or you are paying a serious amount of cash for 50 mins (that's if she hasn't gone out the room to get you a water for 5 mins)

Interesting to know if the shower comes out of personal time or not.  I cant see where she says it doesnt, so assume it does eat into the booking.

[Fkk]

What does OP mean in posts?

[tesla]

What does OP mean in posts?

It means Original Poster

[Fkk]

Thanks mate, it was bugging me. Feel better now

[tesla]

Thanks mate, it was bugging me. Feel better now

now I have helped you, you can help the forum by making some contributions please.

start by reading the rules  https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=252680.0  hopefully it will give you an idea of what is expected.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

Funny how you have to take a compulsory shower after handing over your hard earned, even if you have just had one.  No issue if you haven't had a shower, but this sounds like a typical timewasting tactic.  If you take 10 mins, its cost you £30 notes / or you are paying a serious amount of cash for 50 mins (that's if she hasn't gone out the room to get you a water for 5 mins)

Interesting to know if the shower comes out of personal time or not.  I cant see where she says it doesnt, so assume it does eat into the booking.

Yes this is correct you do have to have a shower because I mostly work in London and most people get on the tube. Not to mention the fact that Coronavirus is still around. If you don’t want to have a shower I’m more than happy not to offer oral without. And if your that cheap to worry about the shower coming out of your time feel free not to book me.

[RandomGuy99]

Funny how you have to take a compulsory shower after handing over your hard earned, even if you have just had one.  No issue if you haven't had a shower, but this sounds like a typical timewasting tactic.  If you take 10 mins, its cost you £30 notes / or you are paying a serious amount of cash for 50 mins (that's if she hasn't gone out the room to get you a water for 5 mins)

Interesting to know if the shower comes out of personal time or not.  I cant see where she says it doesnt, so assume it does eat into the booking.

My view on showers is I turn up to enjoy myself with an SP.  I think to enjoy myself the SP needs to feel comfortable in my presence and if her feeling comfortable requires me to have a shower on arrival then that is what I will do.  It doesn't bother me and it doesn't need to take 10 minutes.  I strip off (which I would do anyway), jump in the shower for a quick shower using the provided shower gel and quickly make sure I've clean my face, neck, bits including rolling back the foreskin, armpits, buttocks, feet, legs and feet.  I then dry myself off and wrap myself in a towel before heading to see the SP.  It might take 5 to 7 minutes (I've never timed it). 

I see it as a mutual respect thing.  If I was an SP and I had unwashed sweaty smelly dicked people turning up then I wouldn't want to have sex with them.  Would you?

Most of the time I will have been freshly showered and mouth washed anyway, so I don't usually take a shower.  If the SP asks if I need a shower, then I explain. If she would still prefer me to shower again then I do.  Anything to make her comfortable in my presence.

And yes, I sometimes have a shower at the end too if I am not going straight home.

My bookings are a minimum of 1 hr and occasionally I do 2 hrs, so it is worth the investment of 5 minutes to be clean, so that the SP will be happy to provide the services I like.

I have no time for shower dodgers.

[tesla]

Yes this is correct you do have to have a shower because I mostly work in London and most people get on the tube. Not to mention the fact that Coronavirus is still around. If you don’t want to have a shower I’m more than happy not to offer oral without. And if your that cheap to worry about the shower coming out of your time feel free not to book me.

Understandably you need your clients to have a shower , but instead of calling them "cheap" perhaps it would be better if you confirmed if the shower time is or is not included in the paid for time?

[Ashleydowns_milf]

My view on showers is I turn up to enjoy myself with an SP.  I think to enjoy myself the SP needs to feel comfortable in my presence and if her feeling comfortable requires me to have a shower on arrival then that is what I will do.  It doesn't bother me and it doesn't need to take 10 minutes.  I strip off (which I would do anyway), jump in the shower for a quick shower using the provided shower gel and quickly make sure I've clean my face, neck, bits including rolling back the foreskin, armpits, buttocks, feet, legs and feet.  I then dry myself off and wrap myself in a towel before heading to see the SP.  It might take 5 to 7 minutes (I've never timed it). 

I see it as a mutual respect thing.  If I was an SP and I had unwashed sweaty smelly dicked people turning up then I wouldn't want to have sex with them.  Would you?

Most of the time I will have been freshly showered and mouth washed anyway, so I don't usually take a shower.  If the SP asks if I need a shower, then I explain. If she would still prefer me to shower again then I do.  Anything to make her comfortable in my presence.

And yes, I sometimes have a shower at the end too if I am not going straight home.

My bookings are a minimum of 1 hr and occasionally I do 2 hrs, so it is worth the investment of 5 minutes to be clean, so that the SP will be happy to provide the services I like.

I have no time for shower dodgers.

If you had just walked round the corner from your place to mine and were super clean I would request hands and cock washed in the sink. But in London especially the city most people are nipping out of the office. Most of my bookings are people on their lunch breaks or straight after work.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

Understandably you need your clients to have a shower , but instead of calling them "cheap" perhaps it would be better if you confirmed if the shower time is or is not included in the paid for time?

Only a tight ass would ask this. The shower is one hundred percent coming out of the time all 4 minuets of it !

[RandomGuy99]

If you had just walked round the corner from your place to mine and were super clean I would request hands and cock washed in the sink. But in London especially the city most people are nipping out of the office. Most of my bookings are people on their lunch breaks or straight after work.

So requesting them to shower seems perfectly reasonable to me as they'll have travelled to work, been to the toilet possibly several times, eaten and drunk something and been sitting around in their office doing their job for hours.  People need to be clean if they expect to receive services especially if they want OWO.  It's just common decency.

[daviemac]

Only a tight ass would ask this. The shower is one hundred percent coming out of the time all 4 minuets of it !

If it's only 4 minutes why don't you allow for it and start the clock once they come out? Anything after 4 minutes comes out of the punters time.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

If it's only 4 minutes why don't you allow for it and start the clock once they come out? Anything after 4 minutes comes out of the punters time.

I swear this lock down has people loosing their marbles.

Let me make it very clear, it’s my way of working. If you don’t like the way I work then plenty more fish in the sea.

I am more than happy for someone NOT to book me if they nit pick like this. 99 percent of bookings jump straight in the shower and come out fresh and ready to go in minuets.

[RandomGuy99]

I swear this lock down has people loosing their marbles.

Let me make it very clear, it’s my way of working. If you don’t like the way I work then plenty more fish in the sea.

I am more than happy for someone NOT to book me if they nit pick like this. 99 percent of bookings jump straight in the shower and come out fresh and ready to go in minuets.

+1

It's not such a big deal.

[daviemac]

I swear this lock down has people loosing their marbles.

Let me make it very clear, it’s my way of working. If you don’t like the way I work then plenty more fish in the sea.

I am more than happy for someone NOT to book me if they nit pick like this. 99 percent of bookings jump straight in the shower and come out fresh and ready to go in minuets.

Only a tight ass would ask this.

Only a greedy cow of an escort would demand a punter spent some of his £3+ per minute not in the company of the person he's paying. It isn't a case of the cost it's the principle behind it, you demand to be paid for nothing when a little bit of give and take wouldn't go amiss.

Oh and don't worry I wouldn't book you anyway.   

[Bonker]

I'm not losing my marbles Ashley down, just fed up with time-wasting tricks from mean tarts.

The more classier women allow shower times outside the booking time.

I don't dance the minuet with WGs, I fuck them.

[tesla]

Only a tight ass would ask this. The shower is one hundred percent coming out of the time all 4 minuets of it !

it is you that is being the tight ass! but your distaste for punters is coming out in your posts, keep it up

[CheeseBoard]

Yes this is correct you do have to have a shower because I mostly work in London and most people get on the tube. Not to mention the fact that Coronavirus is still around. If you don’t want to have a shower I’m more than happy not to offer oral without. And if your that cheap to worry about the shower coming out of your time feel free not to book me.

Dont worry I wouldnt book you 

My question was to see if the shower was in the paid time.  You have confirmed it is (and now back peddling a bit I see about if you have had a shower only need to wash your hands and cock).

To say it's cheap to ask, pot and kettle springs to mind.  A decent provider wouldnt put this in paid time.  All it does is show you have both your eyes on the clock, and not the punter.
For the price you charge, I'm wondering if you are charging extra for the attitude, or does that not come within the paid time unlike the shower

[CheeseBoard]

Just noticed that you charge £300 for an hour for dinner and then £400 for a couple hours after in your dinner date (as broken down by you).

Your dinner conversation must be amazing if someone actually pays more to see you eat than shag you 

[Ashleydowns_milf]

Just noticed that you charge £300 for an hour for dinner and then £400 for a couple hours after in your dinner date (as broken down by you).

Your dinner conversation must be amazing if someone actually pays more to see you eat than shag you 

Bless you all. Proper bitter aren’t you that I have clients who pay me good money and enjoy my company. You won’t get under my skin boys I’ve been busy for seven years and my way of working is good for me and the people who regularly come to see me.

I really don’t get put off by internet trolling I quite enjoy it. The amount of enquires and free advertising your giving me on this thread has lead to numerous bookings for my upcoming tours. So thanks for keeping me at the top of the board boys.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

it is you that is being the tight ass! but your distaste for punters is coming out in your posts, keep it up

I love my clients. I have a fantastic time with them. I’ve read your reviews on your £100 an hour girls. That’s your lane hun stay in it !

[Ashleydowns_milf]

I'm not losing my marbles Ashley down, just fed up with time-wasting tricks from mean tarts.

The more classier women allow shower times outside the booking time.

I don't dance the minuet with WGs, I fuck them.

You have a dislike of women women full stop. A whole array of red negatives pulling women’s looks apart. Nothing but vitriol from you on their weight.

I quote from your review “
Checked the talent. Fat, spotty, old, worn out, skanky, droopy...someone had managed to find them all. ”

What a lovely chap you are. I suggest you give up punting because all your reviews are negative you clearly don’t enjoy the sport so perhaps retirement for you is in order.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

So requesting them to shower seems perfectly reasonable to me as they'll have travelled to work, been to the toilet possibly several times, eaten and drunk something and been sitting around in their office doing their job for hours.  People need to be clean if they expect to receive services especially if they want OWO.  It's just common decency.

Thank you for being clean and respectful to the service providers you see.

I’m still surprised this thread has got so much legs over a shower. It has made me chuckle. But then people are so bored on this lock down I expect myself and my enemies are enjoying the sparring session. Your the only man on here talking sense.

Who’s next .... roll up ....

[daviemac]

Bless you all. Proper bitter aren’t you that I have clients who pay me good money and enjoy my company. You won’t get under my skin boys I’ve been busy for seven years and my way of working is good for me and the people who regularly come to see me.

I really don’t get put off by internet trolling I quite enjoy it. The amount of enquires and free advertising your giving me on this thread has lead to numerous bookings for my upcoming tours. So thanks for keeping me at the top of the board boys.

I love my clients. I have a fantastic time with them. I’ve read your reviews on your £100 an hour girls. That’s your lane hun stay in it !

You have a dislike of women women full stop. A whole array of red negatives pulling women’s looks apart. Nothing but vitriol from you on their weight.

I quote from your review “
Checked the talent. Fat, spotty, old, worn out, skanky, droopy...someone had managed to find them all. ”

What a lovely chap you are. I suggest you give up punting because all your reviews are negative you clearly don’t enjoy the sport so perhaps retirement for you is in order.

If you want to slag punters off do it on SAAFE not here, this site puts the interests of punters first and punters are quite withing their rights to point out your greed. You are just another in a long line who want paid top dollar for a third rate service.

There are several escorts in my area who offer an excellent service at a very reasonable price, yet can afford to follow the guidelines and not work during this pandemic. They are also the ones who have stated when they return to work time will be allowed for the extra precautions that need to be taken and, in order to give good value, this will not come out of the clients paid time, the clock will start after the shower, obviously subject to there being no pisstaking.

[tesla]

Thank you for being clean and respectful to the service providers you see.

I’m still surprised this thread has got so much legs over a shower. It has made me chuckle. But then people are so bored on this lock down I expect myself and my enemies are enjoying the sparring session. Your the only man on here talking sense.

Who’s next .... roll up ....

no one has said your clients should not have a shower, all that was wanted was clarification on your policy, which you have confirmed is within the paid for time, your attitude to being questioned is terrible....answers given with distaste .

I have been punting longer than you have been alive, and one thing I can say for certain is price paid has no bearing on service received, what matters most is attitude and yours stinks

[Ashleydowns_milf]

no one has said your clients should not have a shower, all that was wanted was clarification on your policy, which you have confirmed is within the paid for time, your attitude to being questioned is terrible....answers given with distaste .

I have been punting longer than you have been alive, and one thing I can say for certain is price paid has no bearing on service received, what matters most is attitude and yours stinks

Have had a full diary for 7 years, so from my point of view  my attitude is just fine. If I didn’t have the policy written on the profile then that would be misleading. I’ve never lied about services or the way I work.

I am in complete agreement that’s it’s the punters choice of who they spend their money on. 

Once you are very established in the escort world you rarely need new business it’s all repeat bookings. And I stand by my way of working. A short shower to be taken at the start of the booking.

I would love one of you to go to an agency like “Maxes Angels” and try and say you aren’t showering on their time. You would be blacklisted. I know this because I’ve worked for them. So it’s not just me that has these policies I’m afraid.

[daviemac]

I would love one of you to go to an agency like “Maxes Angels” and try and say you aren’t showering on their time. You would be blacklisted. I know this because I’ve worked for them. So it’s not just me that has these policies I’m afraid.

Looks like they are quite happy for you to arrive clean, using the shower is an option if it happens to be necessary.   


Hidden Image/Members Only

[Ashleydowns_milf]

Looks like they are quite happy for you to arrive clean, using the shower is an option if it happens to be necessary.   


Hidden Image/Members Only

We were told when we worked there if a client will not shower text the receptionist and tell them the booking is terminated. So the part he has in brackets is more than a hint.

[pewpewpew]

I have to say that I do resent if shower time comes out of my time. If I arrive at 5pm and pay £150 or whatever and have a 10 minute shower, she stashed the cash for 5 minutes and spends 5 minutes getting me water, another 5 minutes sorting out the music etc I'm getting pissed off.

All of the above is preparation, I'm paying for the main event. If she were to shower with me that would be fine, but I'm washing my bollocks to be polite and was always told that manners cost nothing

[daviemac]

We were told when we worked there if a client will not shower text the receptionist and tell them the booking is terminated. So the part he has in brackets is more than a hint.

Yet another dodgy outfit that don't make things clear prior to booking then.

It stands to reason a punter has to be clean in order to get the best service, just as an SP has to be clean for the punter, sadly all too often that isn't the case.

Under normal circumstances I will be with the escort I have booked withing 30 minutes of stepping out of the shower, I have never been refused or had services restricted because we both know I'm clean. However when it is safe to resume punting I will be more than willing to comply with whatever extra precautions the escort has in place.

Having said that I will be booking escorts who are prepared to make allowances regarding time in order to accommodate this, it is, after all, to everyone's benefit. Though the escorts I book don't feel the need to come on here and brag about their standards, unlike you who has to come on and defend your's.

What would the point of me turning up at an appointment squeaky clean if I then have to pay for a shower.