It was my first relationship in a good few years, but sadly as of a few days ago is now over, however for the few months we were together it was very intense and passionate.
I'm feeling pretty blue as I was dumped by this girl out of nowhere, and I still don't understand the reasons why
Sounds like bpd. Starts intense, then at some point they'll just discard you like you were nothing to them. Less than nothing, because they'll often treat you so badly it can seem like they hate you, and in a way, they do. She may end up trying to start things up again as she'll see you like a backup, so be on your guard.
I'm feeling pretty blue as I was dumped by this girl out of nowhere, and I still don't understand the reasons why. My question is, will a good punt cheer me up, or make me feel worse? Obviously I'm not looking for a WG to replace the void left by this girl, I know it's not a substitute for dating, I just thought it might help distract me and get over this girl more quickly. Anyone have any experience with this?
It could make you feel better, or it could make you feel worse. Different people will have different reactions.
There's reasons I could suggest it would help you feel better, but equally there's reasons why it could make you feel bad.
Basing your sense of self worth on external validation is a bad thing. Basing your sense of self worth on the opinion of women can be crippling. So long as you're getting your supply of validation you can potentially chug along nicely, you might not even notice there's a problem, but if you end up losing that validation it's going to hit pretty hard.
You could say this is a reason to not do it, since you could say you're just looking for that validation. But there's another aspect here. At the same time, healthy human minds
need emotional and physical connection to stay stable and sane. That's why people will always go loopy if they're isolated too long. We more and more that feeling physical connection, especially skin to skin touch is also incredibly important to our emotional health and development. It's why deprived infants grow up emotionally damaged.
So on an unconscious level you need to feel emotional and physical connection because you're human. If you're of the right mindset even paying for sex can still fool your unconscious into thinking it's getting more than just physical connection, something which is also important anyway in itself. So you can see a few escorts and your unconscious can feel more secure and validated, even if you know consciously you didn't do anything other than part with money. Where it can become a bad thing is if you're so addicted to validation that each experience no matter how good feels unsatisfying. This could be down to the money where you're unable to really relax and enjoy it because you know how much money is flying out your ass as time goes by, or it could be that it feels unsatisfying because you know she's only there because of the money so it can ruin the illusion.
Don't know if any of that helped, but I don't think there's a single answer here. It can be a very good thing for you, or it could be a bad thing for you. It also depends on how good your experience you end up having. She could make you feel special and good about yourself, or she could make you feel like shit and you leave thinking you've been taken advantage of (not exactly a feeling you want if your girl just left you and you don't know why). You have to ask yourself some questions in order to figure out if it's a good thing or not.
