Dinner dates

[ragged]

Sorry you've lost me?

So sex is partly physical, and partly in the head.  Speaking for myself, I simply wouldn't find someone 'sexy' unless I had got to know them a little bit first.  I don't have to know their life history, but I'd like to have a rough idea of what makes them laugh, whether they are verbally playful, are they a little bit submissive in attitude, and many other things.  You could put a woman who was 'physically attractive' in front of me, but I wouldn't find her 'sexy' unless I could talk to her a bit.  And I certainly wouldn't enjoy anything we did together unless I found her sexy.

it's not about emotions or romance.  It's about a human connection at a basic level.  That's the best I can explain it.

[standardpostage]

Used to do the same when Sandys was open then get myself a chippy from the top of the row of shops

Yes, done that myself a few times   

[hzilla1999]

So sex is partly physical, and partly in the head.  Speaking for myself, I simply wouldn't find someone 'sexy' unless I had got to know them a little bit first.  I don't have to know their life history, but I'd like to have a rough idea of what makes them laugh, whether they are verbally playful, are they a little bit submissive in attitude, and many other things.  You could put a woman who was 'physically attractive' in front of me, but I wouldn't find her 'sexy' unless I could talk to her a bit.  And I certainly wouldn't enjoy anything we did together unless I found her sexy.

it's not about emotions or romance.  It's about a human connection at a basic level.  That's the best I can explain it.

This seems about right for me as well. I get more out of meeting someone that I click with, even if it is just for the evening, than another attractive escort. Although both have their place, I would pay more for the connection (together with the sex), even if its just a fantasy.

[8MillionDollarMan]

Well, I can only speak for London 

 

[Doc Holliday]

So sex is partly physical, and partly in the head.  Speaking for myself, I simply wouldn't find someone 'sexy' unless I had got to know them a little bit first.  I don't have to know their life history, but I'd like to have a rough idea of what makes them laugh, whether they are verbally playful, are they a little bit submissive in attitude, and many other things.  You could put a woman who was 'physically attractive' in front of me, but I wouldn't find her 'sexy' unless I could talk to her a bit.  And I certainly wouldn't enjoy anything we did together unless I found her sexy.

it's not about emotions or romance.  It's about a human connection at a basic level.  That's the best I can explain it.

Thanks for clarifying and further explanation 

I accept that for some having a connection is important to them, but I have had great sex with people I have hardly spoken with let alone establish a rapport and vice versa. This applies both to punting and civvy.

Perhaps it's just me? In a potential relationship the goalposts would be different, but punting is not dating.

[willie loman]

 personally i would only do it with someone who was already a regular, its been suggested more than once.

[willie loman]

So sex is partly physical, and partly in the head.  Speaking for myself, I simply wouldn't find someone 'sexy' unless I had got to know them a little bit first.  I don't have to know their life history, but I'd like to have a rough idea of what makes them laugh, whether they are verbally playful, are they a little bit submissive in attitude, and many other things.  You could put a woman who was 'physically attractive' in front of me, but I wouldn't find her 'sexy' unless I could talk to her a bit.  And I certainly wouldn't enjoy anything we did together unless I found her sexy.

it's not about emotions or romance.  It's about a human connection at a basic level.  That's the best I can explain it.

i can relate to that, i like to know what the girl was before she became a hooker etc, masturbating into a brasilian who doesnt speak english is not for me

[Bru1901]

That concept doesn't work for me at all - no interest in fwb, never had one and never would. Each to their own obviously, but for me, whether it's an hour or overnights, or trips away etc they're easily managed and enjoyed if the specific job (that's what it is for the WG) is well understood by both (or more ) parties and kept completely professional.

For me its similar mindset. Im paying and i expect them to collect

Not interested in a relationship and they know they wont be able.to fleece

No negotiation on price but if they give extra time its on them

Usually its better even with regulars

I always treat every meet with a transaction as a transaction

Fwb for me is always with a financial incentive like a seeking encounter

[Bru1901]

personally i would only do it with someone who was already a regular, its been suggested more than once.

I only do it on business when out of home county

Dinner then her for desert or overnight

The dinner allows for you to see if shes okay and nonred flags

You also get scammers

However, when it works it simply works and beats any 30 or 60 min meet hands down

[jamiekinkxxx]

Thanks for clarifying and further explanation 

I accept that for some having a connection is important to them, but I have had great sex with people I have hardly spoken with let alone establish a rapport and vice versa. This applies both to punting and civvy.

Perhaps it's just me? In a potential relationship the goalposts would be different, but punting is not dating.

100% punting is not dating, BUT there are so many levels to punting.

The walk-ups, the P&G, the 1hr, the few hours, the long evening, the overnights, the weekenders etc....

The longer the booking the more you need to be able to interact, goes without saying as you are not shagging none stop for a few hours let alone a whole evening or overnight.

As I have said previously in this thread and ragged backed up there are 100% people who fuck by the mind as well as the body.... if you work like this it not just apply to dating, but to punting too.

Don't get me wrong I have and do see escorts on shorter booking where the mind doesn't really come into it and it is pure animalistic sex from the go, but for me, the best sex come when the mind is involved. This is esp true (but 100% not limited to) with the BDSM / kink / fetish type fun that I enjoy.

[Doc Holliday]

Don't get me wrong I have and do see escorts on shorter booking where the mind doesn't really come into it and it is pure animalistic sex from the go, but for me, the best sex come when the mind is involved. This is esp true (but 100% not limited to) with the BDSM / kink / fetish type fun that I enjoy.

The brain is indeed crucial in many aspects of sex and something I have a great interest in, but l I think perhaps we have a different understanding of that process, so we are probably at an impasse in the discussion.

However, it is interesting that you use BDSM as an example. The cerebral aspect to this is especially complex, but would taking your dominatrix out for a meal and discussing where you have been on holiday etc add positively to the BDSM experience?

[Jameson20]

Paying to take a WG out socially doesn't appeal to me, but it's horses for courses. As with purely sexual meets, provided that the punter keeps in mind that she's only there because she's being paid to be, it isn't a problem.

[Doc Holliday]

Sadly the lines get very easily blurred on both sides.
Some girls have their MO which includes extra messages, little flirts between bookings, going over time and going out after a booking, just 'off the cuff'. It's designed to make the punter feel special and I'm sure it does, we see reviews all the time where they are described as the best gfe etc
Those who are unconsciously or unwittingly vulnerable to falling for the less transactional elements of a booking and seeing it as something they got because she liked them or there was a really deep connection can then go on to get EAS and we all know what a mess that can make of anyone.
The fallout is almost always messy and invariably brings others down or into it through jealousy or over sharing.

This ^

It is risky where one is looking for the illusion of a non-transactional (or not purely transactional) encounter (or "relationship")- there is a danger of falling into the trap of believing that in fact it is not entirely transactional, or might become entirely non-transactional.  One needs to remember the basis of the whole arrangement- payment for time and services.

On the other hand, as you say, there must also be some cases, presumably, where SPs do actually like spending time with particular punters.

and This ^

Punting forums are littered with the corpses of those who read the signals incorrectly.

[jamiekinkxxx]

The brain is indeed crucial in many aspects of sex and something I have a great interest in, but l I think perhaps we have a different understanding of that process, so we are probably at an impasse in the discussion.

Probably

However, it is interesting that you use BDSM as an example. The cerebral aspect to this is especially complex, but would taking your dominatrix out for a meal and discussing where you have been on holiday etc add positively to the BDSM experience?

But that would be to say that you cannot have deep dinner table (or over drinks, which is my preferred way of spending the first hour of a 3hr (my go-to booking duration) conversations about the phycology of things the deep rooted and complex (sometimes traumatic) aspects of us as individuals, now that 100% does add positively to a BDSM experience. The best BDSM (for me) is 100% cultivated in the mind first and foremost.

The biggest thing about BDSM is 'trust' and that is 100% built up over time and by communicating with each other 

[big-al93]

Have never done the dinner date thing, but I can see why it appeals to some. Closest I have come was having a 2hr outcall (with an escort I've met a couple of times before), and afterwards we went out to get food off the clock (her suggestion initially, as she knew I didn't know the area). I had an enjoyable time, she offered to split the bill, so there was zero expectation on either side and as I was in a city I didn't know, had a nice meal will a beautiful lady simply at the cost of dinner. Much better than after the escort leaving having a sad meal by myself in the hotel restaurant, or going out to get a takeaway.

[Doc Holliday]

Probably

But that would be to say that you cannot have deep dinner table (or over drinks, which is my preferred way of spending the first hour of a 3hr (my go-to booking duration) conversations about the phycology of things the deep rooted and complex (sometimes traumatic) aspects of us as individuals, now that 100% does add positively to a BDSM experience. The best BDSM (for me) is 100% cultivated in the mind first and foremost.

The biggest thing about BDSM is 'trust' and that is 100% built up over time and by communicating with each other 

Thanks Jamie. I understand that and don't disagree, but that is a discussion around planning a session which is important, especially with BDSM and not a dinner table discussion about where you went on holiday etc. (as in my post that you highlighted).

So I am curious as to what people who do dinner dates talk about, given the limitations imposed by protecting identity etc? Or are both parties very honest and open? Which then links into Miss W's post

However clearly I am not communicating my point very well which is that great sex relies far more on the experience and skill sets of the participants and especially their responsiveness to such. The main cerebral component that you can influence to any extent, is taking place during the sexual activity itself and revolves around 'mindfulness' ... focusing and staying in the moment etc. Sexual compatibility and social compatibility are different entities and may be poles apart, though good sexual compatibility can be heightened and developed if there is a strong emotional bond.

But emotion connections are a whole different discussion ... or once again as per Miss Wolf's post are they? 

[Thephoenix]

I'm a bit puzzled.
So if I book an escort for say 4 hours, dinner date and sex, and I'm hoping the lady is skilled in the art of conversation, gives the impression that she's really interested in me and my intellect, flirts, boosts my ego etc, and I have sufficient imagination to believe it's real, then that will heighten the sexual experience?

Unfortunately if your minds don't meet in the first bit, it's been a waste of money and it may have the adverse effect and result in performance issues.

Also despite solving the world's problems over dinner the lady's sexual skills don't come up to your expectations. Again it's been a waste of money.

I think I'd rather enjoy 4 separate hours of paid for sex.

If I want to enjoy a nice romantic meal, I arrange it with my OH.

She goes Fridays, I go Saturdays.

[KatieEdinburgh]

If I want to enjoy a nice romantic meal, I arrange it with my OH.

She goes Fridays, I go Saturdays.

some guys have no other halfs to take out for dinner. They have even told me they value the social time as much as sexual side  everybody’s different

[nuckingfuts]

I'm a bit puzzled.
So if I book an escort for say 4 hours, dinner date and sex, and I'm hoping the lady is skilled in the art of conversation, gives the impression that she's really interested in me and my intellect, flirts, boosts my ego etc, and I have sufficient imagination to believe it's real, then that will heighten the sexual experience?

Unfortunately if your minds don't meet in the first bit, it's been a waste of money and it may have the adverse effect and result in performance issues.

Also despite solving the world's problems over dinner the lady's sexual skills don't come up to your expectations. Again it's been a waste of money.

I think I'd rather enjoy 4 separate hours of paid for sex.

If I want to enjoy a nice romantic meal, I arrange it with my OH.

She goes Fridays, I go Saturdays.

Horses for courses.
I’d not be doing an extended dinner date, or indeed overnight without having seen said SW before and knowing whether the connection is there as people first.

You do you boo boo x

[Doc Holliday]

some guys have no other halfs to take out for dinner. They have even told me they value the social time as much as sexual side  everybody’s different

I think Phoenix's post about an OH was tongue in cheek to deliver his punchline?

I completely agree about the importance of social time to some punters and yes it is often more important to many to the degree where it occupies most of (sometimes all). I understand and accept that but it wasn't the point I was making.

[Doc Holliday]

... and knowing whether the connection is there as people first.

Does it matter if that connection is an illusion on her part?

[MissWolf]

Does it matter if that connection is an illusion on her part?

This whole industry is based on illusion,  its all smoke and mirrors at the end of the day

[ragged]

This whole industry is based on illusion,  its all smoke and mirrors at the end of the day

Quite so.  They pretend to be delighted to see us.  We pretend to believe them.

[hendrix]

Quite so.  They pretend to be delighted to see us.  We pretend to believe them.

Unfortunately, some actually believe them, hence the "many littered corpses" that Doc referred to.

WG's are delighted to see your wallet and if you're an easy and pleasant punt, they may actually be delighted to see you. We all like a good day at work, but that's nearly always all it is.

[Doc Holliday]

This whole industry is based on illusion,  its all smoke and mirrors at the end of the day

Indeed .... though not to be confused with steam and mirrors.

Hidden Image/Members Only

[nuckingfuts]

This whole industry is based on illusion,  its all smoke and mirrors at the end of the day

We’re all in the matrix

[signy]

Quite so.  They pretend to be delighted to see us.  We pretend to believe them.

It's like watching a Hollywood blockbuster. In the moment, you are carried along by the action and excitement; it is only later that you see all the plot holes and dodgy script.

Similarly, the escort puts on a good performance, giving us what we want whether it be sexual performance or "connection", and we go along with it "believing" that she is having the time of her life and really likes us. Afterwards we see the pointers that show that little/none of this was true, but that doesn't matter if we had a good time.

The problem arises when a punter thinks that everything was true and genuine, and they have met the love of their life.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

I had a very pleasent evening out some time ago with a london escort agency boss that was very intresting overall, only issue was that something i had to eat in the resturant we went to didnt agree with me so had to spend sometime in her lav instead of her bed!...

[Alexmck]

I had a very pleasent evening out some time ago with a london escort agency boss that was very intresting overall, only issue was that something i had to eat in the resturant we went to didnt agree with me so had to spend sometime in her lav instead of her bed!...

A few suggested this about 10 years ago. Never took them up on this as I didn't think it would end up with sex. Maybe I should have. Thinking about it might have helped with working out the wood from the trees on the girls but at the time I just booked and turned up 

[pantywetter]

I wouldn’t pay someone to have dinner with me out of principle.

Maybe if it was free I’d do it rather than eat alone, but no interest in paying for it whatsoever.

[Thephoenix]

Possibly the best thing to do is to make a provisional booking of 4 hours.
2 hours dinner date followed by 2 hour's sex.

Obviously if the lady failed to convince the punter he was a mixture of The Oracle and Casanova, he could cancel the sex bit.
That seems fair and I'm sure the ladies would agree to that arrangement.

........
Wouldn't they?

[Natwest]

I did have a meet with a wg in Cambridge a few years ago (can't remember her name but I did review her) and after the punt, asked her if she had eaten. She then came to The Wrestlers on Newmarket Road and had a drink and a Thai curry for which I paid. Was worth it for seeing all the men drooling and seemed more fun than eating on my own.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

There used to be a flat off brooklands ave in Cambridge that had a lot of visiting chinese and asain girls. Once there i saw a lovely chinese girl who was starving hungry and asked if i knew where she could get something to eat. That ended up with her and me having a very nice time in a curry house and she decied that she could stay the night round mine at no charge ! Got her number which I thiught would be the start of something good but she disappered shortly afterward never saw her again...

[Avabar]

I love dinner dates. Did a bunch over the last year with my regular. Really got to know each other well and had lots of drunken laughs together. Sex in my hotel room after was always amazing, I believe largely down to the friendship we developed together through these dates, and she would often end up overstaying so that we could continue sharing a bottle or two of wine together. I loved these meets.

Sadly it ultimately ended in her deciding to not see me any more. We had just got too close in terms of friendship and the lines got a little blurred for her. I’m gutted not to see her anymore. But it’s definitely a lesson learned if I ever start dinner dates with another WG.

[Thephoenix]

I love dinner dates. Did a bunch over the last year with my regular. Really got to know each other well and had lots of drunken laughs together. Sex in my hotel room after was always amazing, I believe largely down to the friendship we developed together through these dates, and she would often end up overstaying so that we could continue sharing a bottle or two of wine together. I loved these meets.

Sadly it ultimately ended in her deciding to not see me any more. We had just got too close in terms of friendship and the lines got a little blurred for her. I’m gutted not to see her anymore. But it’s definitely a lesson learned if I ever start dinner dates with another WG.

.......And there's the rub my friend. 

[nuckingfuts]

.......And there's the rub my friend. 

Or lack of…

[southcoastpunter]

I love dinner dates. Did a bunch over the last year with my regular

Have you considered Seeking? Dinner dates are much more the norm there!!

[Avabar]

Have you considered Seeking? Dinner dates are much more the norm there!!

I’ve thought about it, but it all looks a bit expensive for me. Wasn’t exactly cheap with my regular, but I knew exactly what I was getting and how much my outlay would be so I could save up for it.

May be coming into a bunch of money later in the year, so will probably give Seeking a go then.

[Hornydevil666]

I think dinner/ drinks dates can be a dangerous activity, proby more than sex itself as WG and punter open up more, talk about feelings and there is no pressure in sex etc so it could be a slippery slope to some EAS for him or her.

[Murray Mint]

In my 22 years of punting, ignoring the disasters, the enjoyment I have got out of having instant sex with good-looking women has been priceless. I tend to favour multiple return visits if the sex is good, perhaps extending them to 2 to 2½ hours, but with a couple of WGs, where we’ve enjoyed each other’s company, have stretched the appointments to anything between 3 and 6 hours. In those instances, I have brought along food for us to share, and have sometimes had a meal prepared by the lady concerned. On numerous occasions we have gone out for a lunchtime meal in a pub or restaurant, and then returned for another round of sex.

Of course, you’ve got to both enjoy a good conversation for this to work, and the WG has got to have considerable flexibility with her appointments, but I’ve always found it a very pleasurable way to spend my time. Unfortunately, since Covid I have not been able to readily spend 6 or more hours away without question!

[WASA38]

I once invited a touring SP whom I'd previously enjoyed to come to mine en route to her hotel for supper then sex.

It proved a most agreeable experience. More in hope than expectation I hoped she might prefer my bed to her hotel's but of course it was not to be.

[myothernameis]

Dinner dates and back to my room, not something I would get in, as there one thing you cant judge or account for.  Both of you have had a big meal, and with me, when I generality have a big meal.  A few hours later I find I need to go to the toilet, which I feel ruins the moment, and the escort could be the same

[Murray Mint]

I once invited a touring SP whom I'd previously enjoyed to come to mine en route to her hotel for supper then sex.
It proved a most agreeable experience. More in hope than expectation I hoped she might prefer my bed to her hotel's but of course it was not to be.

Dinner dates and back to my room, not something I would get in, as there one thing you cant judge or account for.  Both of you have had a big meal, and with me, when I generality have a big meal.  A few hours later I find I need to go to the toilet, which I feel ruins the moment, and the escort could be the same

Wouldn't it just?! 

As delightful as an overnight might sound, I suspect that, in most cases, the reality wouldn't meet up to the expectation. Certainly, at my age now, going to the loo from time to time is a must - and then, how do you cope with the occasional farts?....

[ragged]

and then, how do you cope with the occasional farts?....

You tolerate them...she's probably had a hard day 

[Alexmck]

Dinner dates and back to my room, not something I would get in, as there one thing you cant judge or account for.  Both of you have had a big meal, and with me, when I generality have a big meal.  A few hours later I find I need to go to the toilet, which I feel ruins the moment, and the escort could be the same

Sandwich the food between sessions? Sex-dinner-more sex/sleep if both are not too full?

I'm the same - like to have a decent meal

[willie loman]

i suspect most of us use viagra, works best on an empty stomach, just saying,,,,

[jamiekinkxxx]

i suspect most of us use viagra, works best on an empty stomach, just saying,,,,

I don't

[WASA38]

i suspect most of us use viagra, works best on an empty stomach, just saying,,,,

I did. Still worked.

[Bru1901]

I like dinner dates

Overnights not so much - they always bloody snore

[Colston36]

Sadly the lines get very easily blurred on both sides.
Some girls have their MO which includes extra messages, little flirts between bookings, going over time and going out after a booking, just 'off the cuff'. It's designed to make the punter feel special and I'm sure it does, we see reviews all the time where they are described as the best gfe etc
Those who are unconsciously or unwittingly vulnerable to falling for the less transactional elements of a booking and seeing it as something they got because she liked them or there was a really deep connection can then go on to get EAS and we all know what a mess that can make of anyone.
The fallout is almost always messy and invariably brings others down or into it through jealousy or over sharing.

I have become friendly with a number of ladies over the years. In fact last night, marooned at home because of an op and fed up with reading I went through over 40 past messages and was amazed how many I am stiill in touch with.