For those whose wife knows about your punting ....

[MrMatrix]

Priceless.  If the OH found out that you had a different fuckbuddy most times she'd chuck her toys outta the pram 
Why on earth would she think that you'd tell anyone ?

I don't have sex with my OH any more. She worked hard for a sexless marriage from the 1st year of our marriage - so she's got what she wants and all the benifits that go with a physically cold  relationship. Shame really there was a time I worshipped the ground she walked on. 
These days I tell no one nothing. It can always come back to haunt you. In this respect I have made mistakes. So OP dont do it...

[bigmanbigman]

Loose lips sink finances and family life.

[tantric talents]

Great post Mr HP. 
I am also almost at that discussion point, until which my continued discretion will be of paramount importance to the relationship.

[christofferson]

...marriage is the most expensive shag a man will ever have.Sounds like yours has run it's course,death by a thousand cuts (all the cliches etc). Do what you must but don't let her find out.The ammunition further down the line, fired at you, would make Custer's last stand look like a tea party. Think your motor sprayed, or written on with a chisel, impromptu arrivals at the workplace (with her mates), letters, emails to folk...

[Zweihander7]

OK, so my marriage of 15 years is really not very healthy. We row all the time and my punting is one of the few things that gives me happiness. She knows I'm not happy and that I choose to spend as little time with her as possible. However as we have a young child - and family law is so biased against Dad's in this country - I'm not even contemplating divorce for at least 10 years.

However my wife is starting to ask what I do on my frequent overnight trips, so pretty soon I suspect she is going to find out.

For those members here who told their wife, AND THEIR WIFE LEARNT TO ACCEPT IT, how did you do it ?  I'm hoping that my wife will at least be glad that I'm paying rather than having an affair, because an affair would (probably) mean feelings on the womans side and therefore competition for my wife. But I don't know: maybe my wife will be pissed off at the money I'm "wasting".

So any tips from people who've come to some kind of arrangement - however grudgingly - with their wife would be appreciated.

mate, if divorce is where you think your marriage is going to end up, you REALLY do not want your wife to know about your punting.

Sure you can think of some excuse to keep her at bay

[NoStringsFun]

Don't tell her, she does not need to know. If your heading for divorce then she will use this against you - paint a picture of you not being responsible etc etc. Do not give them any leverage.

I know a couple of close friends who punt regularly because they don't get any from their busy/menopausal partners. I too have started punting again for similar reasons.