The £20 kiss test?

[Moresomes]

Many a times three second dfk snog and instantly money in there hands..

So the bottom line is, if KT gets three seconds of good DFK he hands over the remaining hundred or so quid, leaving the option open for the prossie to treat him like an escapee from a leper colony for the next fifty nine minutes and fifty seven seconds.
Kiss test my arse. Total bollocks.

[king tarzan]

So the bottom line is, if KT gets three seconds of good DFK he hands over the remaining hundred or so quid, leaving the option open for the prossie to treat him like an escapee from a leper colony for the next fifty nine minutes and fifty seven seconds.
Kiss test my arse. Total bollocks.

Bollox to you.....

My £20 kiss test has not been a problem for the honeys.. few seconds later they get the remainder £120 minimum + in there hands.. they are surprised by it as they have never come across it as I am the first man to ever try it and it's not a problem for them BECAUSE THEY ARE HONEST HONEYS AND HONEST GFE PROVIDERS..
Lots of you go to the cheaper ones so a £60 to £100 loss you can absorb and then come on here and bitch about it.. my price range is nearly double that so that loss would be very difficult to absorb time after time..
Look at my reviews and there are much more high percentage of positives and the guys who like my tastes are virtually guaranteed dfk on there visits as I have tried and tested the ladies..
And plenty have given the thumbs up on here and in personal messages to me..
You small army of critics have not got the balse to do the £20 kiss test so you just carry on losing your money and then come on here and bitch till your hearts are content..
The ladies I have kiss  tested have never had a problem with it and have proceeded to give me excellent dfk non stop with great owo mango licking and great sex and I have stayed over the hour in some cases..
So your theories are bollox!!
That the service will be shit or that they are in a bad mood etc etc..
When I have talked to the honeys they have said that there is nothing wrong as it does distinguish between honest gfe providers like themselves and whores who lie and are utterly dishonest and give working girls a bad name..
Seems to be a constant vendetta against Romanian prostitutes which in my honest opinion is unfair, and with or without  £20 kiss test I have never ever had a problem with them..
When on average I am spending £150 + on a woman my £20 kiss test either saves me from a loss of my hard earned cash or in most cases guarantees me a great passionate filled hour of gfe services...

[EnglishRebecca121]

Honeys ,bitches ,mangos this thread is too much lol ! If someone did this to me I'd be wary as fuck about the booking and view the client as a ficking weirdo .

[James999]

Bollox to you..

I suspect that's what most sane pro$$ies would say to you 

[vw]

I suspect that's what most sane pro$$ies would say to you 

+1

i do wonder what his honest success rate with this is?

[Moresomes]

You small army of critics have not got the balse to do the £20 kiss test

The ladies I have kiss  tested have never had a problem with it and have proceeded to give me excellent dfk non stop with great owo mango licking and great sex and I have stayed over the hour in some cases..

My apologies. I didn't realize that the kiss test entailed the prossie kissing your balls. this actually sounds quite like value for money at 20 quid.

I can't help but think that, rather than the kiss test, the great service you receive, and the extra shagging time not allowed to us lesser mortals is due more to your gargantuan banana, the thought of which must have their mangoes dripping like a fucked fridge before you even knock on the door. However, keep kissing, and I'll stick with checking out the reviews before I book. 

[Boinky]

Are his other 2700+ posts all bollocks as well?

[vw]

Are his other 2700+ posts all bollocks as well?

Yes.

He was banned for a while so posted bollocks on his adultwork feedback begging to come back.


Expect he will play his victim mango in a  minute.

[king tarzan]

My £20 kiss test works for me!! 

Had the most yummy delicous fun because of it!!

[scutty brown]

My £20 kiss test works for me!! 

Had the most yummy delicous fun because of it!!

how many of them welcome you for a repeat visit?
not many I suspect

[Moresomes]

My £20 kiss test works for me!! 

Had the most yummy delicous fun because of it!!

Well, in spite of me thinking that the kiss test is a tactic for tools, I've still managed to have "the most yummy delicious fun" (Apologies for the breach of copyright) for the last 25 years.

[YidArmy]

My £20 kiss test works for me!! 

Had the most yummy delicous fun because of it!!

Give it a rest, in many of your positive reviews you're complaining your cock isn't hard enough to do anything.

Clearly your dick isn't having as much as fun you.

[GMontag]

It works for me... the honeys don't have issues with it as long as they see I am serious as I have the full remainder in my other hand...
Otherwise alternative is they take money after agreeing then back track... no money back or some of it back..

Frankly they either kiss or they don't....

Many a times three second dfk snog and instantly money in there hands..

If they want to con it makes it extremely difficult for them to achieve the con...

Many men on here have taken there whore word for it and ended up with no kissing or just Mickley mouse lips..

BOLLOCKS

[king tarzan]

I know what you mean.
 I've had no luck at all with my £5 "take it up the wrongun" test.
Seriously, He's just being a twat. 

You have been on here 2 years
Just 10 shitty reviews
Fucken bollox!!
Just another lurker really. ...

I have been here 2 years over 130 reviews and I know what I am on about.. I am a prolific dfk king and king mango muncher not like you a stupid novice pratt!

[vw]

You have been on here 2 years
Just 10 shitty reviews
Fucken bollox!!
Just another lurker really. ...

I have been here 2 years over 130 reviews and I know what I am on about.. I am a prolific dfk king and king mango muncher not like you a stupid novice pratt!

Egotistical twat as well as circus clown.   

[whiskyfan]

You have been on here 2 years
Just 10 shitty reviews
Fucken bollox!!
Just another lurker really. ...

I have been here 2 years over 130 reviews and I know what I am on about.. I am a prolific dfk king and king mango muncher not like you a stupid novice pratt!

10 accurate reviews are worth more than 137 fruit based fairy stories.

[king tarzan]

Egotistical twat as well as circus clown.   

Your another lurker..
Save up for your birthday and Christmas time to treat yourself do you?
Your always quick trying to fire down others. ..
Virtualwaster what a true reflection of a name for a waste of space individual. M

And as for whiskyfan another pathetic novice putting down a a seasoned pro...

How sad you handful of losers all gang up on me on negative reviews  putting me down as the annoying factor of pissing the ladies off yet are non existent on my positive reviews..

[Cornish sub]

Thay may even start racial profiling to avoid his affecting many more punters in a negative manner or add more booking hoops to jump through.

'No tree swinging, loin cloth wearing, lion fighting neanderthals due to previous bad experience.'

[whiskyfan]

KT, I've probably been punting longer, if not as prolifically, as you. Don't judge by post count, but by content  and your content is pure fantasy bollocks.

[bigmanbigman]

Kt some may like your posts others less so
Its good there is no clap ameter here as you would know who would  vote k.t. is king ?

[vw]

How sad you handful of losers all gang up on me on negative reviews  putting me down as the annoying factor of pissing the ladies off yet are non existent on my positive reviews..

A fruitcake called McFly used to moan about being ganged up on.   

[Type_O_Negative]

If i was a WG and a punter turns up with "£20 kiss test" - i tell him to leave.

Absolutely pathetic idea 

[Cornish sub]

Bollox to you.....

My £20 kiss test has not been a problem for the honeys.. few seconds later they get the remainder £120 minimum + in there hands.. they are surprised by it as they have never come across it as I am the first man to ever try it and it's not a problem for them BECAUSE THEY ARE HONEST HONEYS AND HONEST GFE PROVIDERS..
Lots of you go to the cheaper ones so a £60 to £100 loss you can absorb and then come on here and bitch about it.. my price range is nearly double that so that loss would be very difficult to absorb time after time..
Look at my reviews and there are much more high percentage of positives and the guys who like my tastes are virtually guaranteed dfk on there visits as I have tried and tested the ladies..
And plenty have given the thumbs up on here and in personal messages to me..
You small army of critics have not got the balse to do the £20 kiss test so you just carry on losing your money and then come on here and bitch till your hearts are content..
The ladies I have kiss  tested have never had a problem with it and have proceeded to give me excellent dfk non stop with great owo mango licking and great sex and I have stayed over the hour in some cases..
So your theories are bollox!!
That the service will be shit or that they are in a bad mood etc etc..
When I have talked to the honeys they have said that there is nothing wrong as it does distinguish between honest gfe providers like themselves and whores who lie and are utterly dishonest and give working girls a bad name..
Seems to be a constant vendetta against Romanian prostitutes which in my honest opinion is unfair, and with or without  £20 kiss test I have never ever had a problem with them..
When on average I am spending £150 + on a woman my £20 kiss test either saves me from a loss of my hard earned cash or in most cases guarantees me a great passionate filled hour of gfe services...

Mangoes, surely?

[DrConners]

Clapometer :

A clap-o-meter, clapometer or applause meter is a measurement instrument that purports to measure and display the volume of clapping or applause made by an audience. It can be used to indicate the popularity of contestants and decide the result of competitions based on audience popularity.

In K.T's case I think the decibel reading would be pretty low 

[vw]

Clapometer :

A clap-o-meter, clapometer or applause meter is a measurement instrument that purports to measure and display the volume of clapping or applause made by an audience. It can be used to indicate the popularity of contestants and decide the result of competitions based on audience popularity.

In K.T's case I think the decibel reading would be pretty low 

Moe like a pantomime boooooo   

[bigmanbigman]

Oh dont
more k.t.
Your all ganging up on me claims
Again ?

[bigmanbigman]

how on earth do you accurately measure the entertainment that
a king tarzan is serving up, short of giving fans feedback forms to hand in on their way out of the forum, or installing a
 boo-o-meter?

[whiskyfan]

Clapometer :

A clap-o-meter, clapometer or applause meter is a measurement instrument that purports to measure and display the volume of clapping or applause made by an audience. It can be used to indicate the popularity of contestants and decide the result of competitions based on audience popularity.

In K.T's case I think the decibel reading would be pretty low 

A clapometer on a punting forum could have an entirely different meaning.

[bigmanbigman]

A clapometer on a punting forum could have an entirely different meaning.

agreed totally different meaning !!

[Marmalade]

Oh dear. Tarzan boy maybe 'greatest gift to punting' ... but everyone on the UK's biggest punting site thinks he's a tit ... 

[scutty brown]

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Moresomes]

You have been on here 2 years
Just 10 shitty reviews

If you have another look oh great one, chief banana, and lord of the battered mangoe, you'll find that it is in fact twenty reviews.
It might better in future if you remove your shoes and socks, (assuming that you wear them) so that you can count on your toes as well as your fingers. 

[smiths]

You have been on here 2 years
Just 10 shitty reviews
Fucken bollox!!
Just another lurker really. ...

I have been here 2 years over 130 reviews and I know what I am on about.. I am a prolific dfk king and king mango muncher not like you a stupid novice pratt!

What you fail to grasp is the number of reviews and posts doesn't make 1 punter better than another. And it also doesn't prove how experienced a punter is or how often he punts. I have 144 reviews on here and was the first punter to do 100 on UKP, but unlike you I don't feel the need to keep going on about it.

 Your boasting here is seriously sad, you have problems and in my view are a very bad presence on UKP. When you got banned previously I was one who said as long as his reviews are genuine I can ignore his total and complete mango bullshit. Since you have been allowed back on you are infinity worse than you were before in my opinion. Fortunately I have no say over who is a member here, if I did you would be long gone.

[peter purves]

What you fail to grasp is the number of reviews and posts doesn't make 1 punter better than another. And it also doesn't prove how experienced a punter is or how often he punts. I have 144 reviews on here and was the first punter to do 100 on UKP, but unlike you I don't feel the need to keep going on about it.

 Your boasting here is seriously sad, you have problems and in my view are a very bad presence on UKP. When you got banned previously I was one who said as long as his reviews are genuine I can ignore his total and complete mango bullshit. Since you have been allowed back on you are infinity worse than you were before in my opinion. Fortunately I have no say over who is a member here, if I did you would be long gone.

Sorry Smiths,

To be fair to KT, the idea that more reviews are better is not something exclusive to KT.  Many have come out with this same line of reasoning in one shape or other and I suspect he has this perception from observation of such contributors.

However, you are correct to point out it is NOT the number of reviews that maketh the punter and/or a useful contributor to UKP.

[Brazilian Martian]

    i remember when i first read his review about the 20 pounds kiss test  myself and a few others called it out for very odd behavior.  Obviously he had a few members that liked this idea, it would be very interesting to see if a punter would attempt this if a prossie had security on site.

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Jimmyredcab]

I have been here 2 years over 130 reviews and I know what I am on about.. I am a prolific dfk king and king mango muncher not like you a stupid novice pratt!

You forgot to point out that you are a previously banned member --------------- and should have remained banned in my humble opinion.     

[scutty brown]

he keeps on about "DFK"..........

in my past lives that always stood for "Don't Fucking Know"

[Brazilian Martian]

he keeps on about "DFK"..........

in my past lives that always stood for "Don't Fucking Know"

What about the king cobra 

[bigmanbigman]

Reminds me of term
Fruit loop.

[YidArmy]

Total number of reviews is irrelevant. King Tarzan basically writes the same review twice.
The positive review is always the usual mango, slobbering DFK cobra yummy, yummy cobblers (cobra shrivelling into a peanut, notwithstanding).
The second is the negative, bloody bustard bitch, fucking whore wasted my time. (Presumable that's when the kiss test fails) 
He's a fantasist that is increasingly showing himself to be a bit of a cunt and I agree with Smiths, it's time for him to get fucked off for good.

[scutty brown]

With all this crap about snakes I'm convinced he's a closet bumboy.

He's forever going on about his King Cobra as a metaphor for his dick.....well King Cobras diet is eating other snakes

[YorkshireGuy]

Have just read a shit load of King Tarzans reviews and think they are bullshit personally. Comes across as illiterate and a fantasist to me.
Only seen one mention of the kiss test in his reviews and that was much later during a booking after handing over money already.

[scutty brown]

Have just read a shit load of King Tarzans reviews and think they are bullshit personally. Comes across as illiterate and a fantasist to me.
Only seen one mention of the kiss test in his reviews and that was much later during a booking after handing over money already.

He stopped mentioning it for a long time due to the slagging he got the last time he tried to justify himself

[king tarzan]

Total number of reviews is irrelevant. King Tarzan basically writes the same review twice.
The positive review is always the usual mango, slobbering DFK cobra yummy, yummy cobblers (cobra shrivelling into a peanut, notwithstanding).
The second is the negative, bloody bustard bitch, fucking whore wasted my time. (Presumable that's when the kiss test fails) 
He's a fantasist that is increasingly showing himself to be a bit of a cunt and I agree with Smiths, it's time for him to get fucked off for good.

These are the facts

Regional location different
Budget different
Honey physical standard different
And yes of course my review style very different

Fact is that my reviews are no good to you nice kind wonderful people anyway as due to the above stated..

So ignore me PLEASE!!

I am so despised and loathed by you few very kind wonderful handful that hey its only a keyboard and screen!! :

[scutty brown]

Tarzan, its all about quality control.

People read and comment in your reports in a kind of community-group quality appraisal. Everyone elses reports get similarly read and checked for inaccuracies, errors and lies.

The problem is, your reports are generally lacking in quality, and you've got no control.

[Marmalade]

Tarzan, its all about quality control.

People read and comment in your reports in a kind of community-group quality appraisal. Everyone elses reports get similarly read and checked for inaccuracies, errors and lies.

The problem is, your reports are generally lacking in quality, and you've got no control.

I've rarely been known to agree with Mr Scutty but he seems pretty accurate to me. And if he were not then would it still not be a good idea maybe to re-consider your reviewing style KT?

If you are writing to help other punters, the message, and after so many reviews, is clearly not getting through. Even if you think we are all a bunch of idiots, that must say something to the effect that your attempts to help other punters are not effective.

It would be simpler to conclude, as many do, that you either write for the benefit of prossies or for your own ego. Again, if this is not the case, it would still be a reason to change your writing style.

It cannot, since prossies are here today and gone tomorrow -- and at a much faster rate than punters -- even be for posterity: for your reviews would be totally irrelevant by the time someone in the distant future reads them.

Meant kindly.

[bigmanbigman]

K.t. you shout from the rooftops no need to
Just this is what happened to me on my punts.

[vw]

It would be simpler to conclude, as many do, that you either write for the benefit of prossies or for your own ego.

Sounds like it to me, maybe its the first time he has had an ego.

Sure he mentioned not ever having licked a free mango.

[Boinky]

I'm confused.

Is he a greengrocer, a bee keeper or a snake charmer/zoo keeper?

[bigmanbigman]

He is different.