Nerves

[gazzaitalia]

Hello again,

Well I have a question about how to conquer nerves when punting, I am relatively new to the scene and so far my experiences have been vanilla.  Yesterday i booked a dominatrix who also will engage in sexual activities. Being dominated in a sensual way will a little light pain etc has been a fantasy of mine for many years which i final decided to act out.

Well I was nervous as hell for hours before the pun, feeling sick and even shaking a little with nerves, I usually get nervous put this is something else. During the punt i was having a fantastic time with a very beautiful woman, possibly the best looking i have ever been with, the only problem is i just could not stay hard no matter how hard we tried, i would get hard and a few seconds latter i would be flaccid again, this was with owo and covered. How do i over come this! Please help

[Quesadilla]

1) Practice makes perfect.
2) Relax! Breathe! Take up yoga or similar that will help your relaxation.
Or 3) take viagra/levitra/cialis.

Pros and cons to all of the above but actually I rely on all 3.

Having now been through maybe 15 punts I get more excited than nervous but this can have the same effect. Adrenaline sends the blood everywhere but where you want it.

I do find if I relax and breathe things improve but difficult to maintain when you're pounding away hard - eventually you get out of breath and your body needs to work hard to cool you down which again means sending blood everywhere but where you want it. Slow down!
3) has proven most reliable in countering all of the above but has the negative effect (for me) of delaying ejaculation.  This could be a positive if you tend to cum too quickly but sometimes makes it almost impossible for me to cum which can be frustrating. For me not as frustrating as not getting a consistent hard-on.

 I find now I enjoy 2 hr sessions more as it reduces the pressure, allows me to relax, and provides more stimulation so I'm able to cum.

The lady I'm with tends to enjoy it more as well which just helps me relax more.

I guess another thing to consider is take your time when pushing boundaries. Any time you step outside your comfort zone you are likely to feel more nervous. Maybe practice more with sessions / WG's you are more familiar with before pushing yourself into more stressful scenarios that you may not be ready for.

It may also be that the idea of being dominated is more exciting than the reality for you. Being dominated (or dominating) is more a psychological stimulation than physical and if you are naturally more dominant yourself that might explain your not being as aroused as you expected/hoped.

[cylon]

Every one gets some sort of nerves and it really is experience. The more you do it the less anxious you get. Anxiety can be the biggest downer on getting a hard on. It then becomes a never ending spiral, your anxious so you don't get a hard on, because you can't get hard you get more anxious and so on. As for Viagra if there's nothing physically wrong with you I would hold back on that. It's far better to overcome your worries than to end up using artificial aids. You could end up psychologically dependant on them and can then only perform when you take them.

[Jeremy]

I had this exact same problem to begin with and it is just nerves. The best way to overcome them is to get familiarised with seeing WGs - visit them as regularly as your budget would allow. The more familiar an activity is the more 'safe' it feels, and thus we get less nervous because our brains are generating fewer 'danger' signals. You might have to accept to yourself that in your early punts you might not be able to get hard/stay hard/cum due to nerves. If you worry about not doing those things, you will feel pressured on the punt to achieve them, which will of course make it less likely. It's a bit of a psychological trap.

[threechilliman]

I had terrible nerves when I first started, to the point where it completely scrambled my brain before the punt - I literally couldn't think straight. Almost knocked on the wrong door once. The odd thing is that once inside, the nerves disappeared completely.

Now, 30 odd punts later and the nerves are gone. Excitement and anticipation are what it's all about and can be a bit of a nightmare if the punt is shit.

tcm