Review deleted.

[smithandwesson]

Why was my review deleted ? Admin please explain

[Marmalade]

Why was my review deleted ? Admin please explain

   Maybe cos you're a touting cunt?

[OldAdmin]

You're lucky you're not banned as well for posting rubbish like this.

She’s certainly back!!! 

I first met Melissa on a frosty winter evening at my hotel in Ipswich as an outcall. I was not exactly sure what to expect as I did not have a clue what the lady looked like apart from the photographs that showed a very fit and toned body; suppose it is the same for the lady as she does not know what her client looks like, so it’s a game of wait and see. I had freshly showered and shaved upon her arrival and dressed; then came the knock on the door. I looked through the spy hole and saw a vision of beauty with glasses and a long coat to keep her warm from the chilled night air.
Once in the room, the coat came off, so did the glasses and WOW!!!, she jumped up flung her arms and legs around me, kissed me nibbled my neck and I thought “got a wild one tonight”. So after ten minutes of kissing and caressing like we had known each other for years but had been parted for six months, it was time to get more comfortable by removing our clothes and sorting one or two things out. Then we were back at it, kissing, licking, sucking various parts of our anatomies then full blown sex in various positions till we both climaxed, which left us both weary and hungry! As we had not eaten, it was decided we had a Chinese meal delivered, so whilst we were waiting for delivery we repeated the earlier actions!!!!!
After the meal, we relaxed until we had recharged our energy levels (this girl must be on Duracell lol) so we repeated again!!! I just could not get enough!!!
As it was quite late after few hours of fun as originally agreed, we bid each other farewell. Then later in the night I thought that was one of the best punts and escorts I have had the pleasure of meeting. This lady goes to top of the list for a repeat dose.

Few months passed and I thought shall I get in touch with Melissa again and see what she’s up to... And yes I got a reply and yes we made arrangements    and yes we repeated the same treatment of sexercise  I’ll let you use your imagination as to what we got up to as she does everything that it says on the tin if not more, even when she’s not there.. Just go to her blogs at External Link/Members Only and you see what I mean! Worth a read guys 

[James999]

Maybe cos you're a touting cunt?

An honest direct response there 

[trivago]

  Maybe cos you're a touting cunt?

  "Shoot from the hip" Marmalade... being smithandwesson, that could be quite literally.. 

[smithandwesson]

Whats the problem? is there a special format for the review,i have just written a honest review

[finn5555]

Sounds more Mills & Boon rather than a punt 

[Health and Fitness]

Whats the problem? is there a special format for the review,i have just written a honest review

It's very fluffy and you sound like your touting a prostitute. The way you've described it sounds like your deluding yourself by thinking that your some hot stud that has given her the best sex of her life.

Wake up man, she only cares about the cash.

[Spunky34]

Whats the problem? is there a special format for the review,i have just written a honest review

Compare and contrast with the style of this review.  You may disagree with the content but there’s a hell of a lot more useful information than there is in yours.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=153023.msg1667294#msg1667294

[myothernameis]

You're lucky you're not banned as well for posting rubbish like this.

I reckon he wont last long on here, he bound to pot another review, or argue, and get him self banned

[Paris69]

One of the worst 'reviews' I've read. It reads of pure fiction; written by the escort herself or her tout

[Jamboney]

It reads of pure fiction; written by the escort herself

It doesn't read like it was written by a bloke. Poor attempt at touting herself.

[Gordon Bennett]

Writes "lol" at some point - a sign of cretinism and an instant red flag. Aside from that it's the most risible piece of shit I've read for ages and manifestly not written by a genuine paying punter.

[stevedave]

I've read some shit, touty bollocks on here over the years but, hats off to you Melissa, that's right up there.

[itk]

I've read some shit, touty bollocks on here over the years but, hats off to you Melissa, that's right up there.

Totally agree, absolute bollocks probably written by Melissa herself

[Marmalade]

"Shoot from the hip" Marmalade... being smithandwesson, that could be quite literally.. 

yeah, no point in prolonging the misery

[Blackpool Rock]

OK so that's fairly unanimous then 

[Ramone78]

Sounds more Mills & Boon rather than a punt 

I know what you mean "looked through the spy hole and saw a vision of beauty with glasses and a long coat to keep her warm from the chilled night air."

[Blackpool Rock]

I know what you mean "looked through the spy hole and saw a vision of beauty with glasses and a long coat to keep her warm from the chilled night air."

No that was before the punt whereas after the punt she was sent on her way wrapped in cotton wool as he'd found the special one 

[smithandwesson]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems.Some of your comments have been informative and constructive for further reference as to how to write a review on this site.

[OldAdmin]

External Link/Members Only

[smithandwesson]

Thanks very much for that,will sort later

[stevedave]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems.Some of your comments have been informative and constructive for further reference as to how to write a review on this site.

I'm sorry you feel insulted and upset, maybe your dear, wonderful Melissa can comfort you and tell you that everything will be alright.

Advice would be to a) read the link admin has posted, b) don't be so fucking touchy about criticism and c) in future don't spout such flowery shit about a prostitute who's hole you've just rented. She won't be spouting any flowery waffle about you.

[lewisjones23]

I'm sorry you feel insulted and upset, maybe your dear, wonderful Melissa can comfort you and tell you that everything will be alright.

Advice would be to a) read the link admin has posted, b) don't be so fucking touchy about criticism and c) in future don't spout such flowery shit about a prostitute who's hole you've just rented. She won't be spouting any flowery waffle about you.

what he said 

[finn5555]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems.Some of your comments have been informative and constructive for further reference as to how to write a review on this site.

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Ramone78]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems.Some of your comments have been informative and constructive for further reference as to how to write a review on this site.

I'm sorry you're insulted, here's a comfort blanket for you..


Hidden Image/Members Only

[myothernameis]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself

You find the comments insulting, well kiss my ass, how that's for being insulting 

But lets get back to the real reason, you review was deleted, its believed your touting, and that's why the review was deleted, now all you need to do is move on, and you never know, you might avoid getting your self banned, which admin has stated, your lucky to still be here

[nigel4498]

I find these comments very insulting to me

Such a delicate flower 

[brianthedog21]

Smithandwesson,

Dont be discouraged, I thought it was a beautiful piece of prose.

I love chick lit and your lovely romantic style of writing. It made me quite emotional. I had to have a bath, light all my candles, pour myself a large Pinot Grigio and have a good cry. You have such a beautiful relationship with the prossie, truly inspirational 

[brianthedog21]

Oh, forgot to ask

Does she take it up the shitter?

[nigel4498]

Does she take it up the shitter?

Have a look, link to her AW profile ( which she's had for over 9 years )
External Link/Members Only

Oh, and by the way she has hairy nipples, didn't read that in the review 

[timsussex]

Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .Smith and Wesson 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

[PeachyAssFan]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems.Some of your comments have been informative and constructive for further reference as to how to write a review on this site.

We aren’t interested in reviews on other sites as they are bollocks like this one

[PatMacGroin]

 

Within first 3 sentences, written by a woman... or David Walliams.

"I'm a lady!!!"

 

[DrConners]

Have a look, link to her AW profile ( which she's had for over 9 years )
External Link/Members Only

Oh, and by the way she has hairy nipples, didn't read that in the review 

Lame attempt to counter that previous review you think ? That was July last year  - All OP has managed to do is bring the question about her hairey nipples back to the forefront of conversation here.   

[Moresomes]

Oh, and by the way she has hairy nipples, didn't read that in the review 

He just forgot to mention that the hair on her nipples is long and curly, as black and lustrous as a ravens wing, with a subtle exciting scent of jasmine. (apologies to Barbara Cartland.)

[nigel4498]

the hair on her nipples is long and curly, as black and lustrous as a ravens wing, with a subtle exciting scent of jasmine. (apologies to Barbara Cartland.)

Brilliant

[James999]

In Summary,

he / she writes a mills and boon review

Two people call him / her a cunt,

 one offers him / her a comfort blanket and

another asks if she takes it up the shitter

And Admin bins the review

I don't see what the reviewrs problem is 

[Ramone78]

In Summary,

he / she writes a mills and boon review

Two people call him / her a cunt,

 one offers him / her a comfort blanket and

another asks if she takes it up the shitter

And Admin bins the review

I don't see what the reviewrs problem is 

He / She  also seems to have lost the ability to communicate.
 

[colchesterpete]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems.Some of your comments have been informative and constructive for further reference as to how to write a review on this site.

I'm not one to jump on the band wagon but it was like reading a romantic loved up novel rather than reviewing and hooker who gets fucked for a living.

Do not mean to offend intentionally but maybe you are on the wrong site? 

[NIK]

It reads like Cornishman on the old Northen Angels site - every single one he booked was a 10/10 winner.
Always made me feel I was doing something wrong! 

[Jerboa]

I find these comments very insulting to me,this was my first review on this site and is not in anyway influenced by the escort herself I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems.Some of your comments have been informative and constructive for further reference as to how to write a review on this site.

Or bless you, such a delicate flower. 

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Blackpool Rock]

I'm not one to jump on the band wagon but it was like reading a romantic loved up novel rather than reviewing and hooker who gets fucked for a living.

Do not mean to offend intentionally but maybe you are on the wrong site? 

I think that's basically it though, part of the OP's reply from #19 -
"I have been punting for many years and left reviews for other escorts on other websites without any problems"

On other review sites the reviews needed to read like that or the OP risked getting banned for not blowing enough smoke up the girls piss flaps however this is UKP where the punter is King and most people like reviews to reflect real life punting not a fantasy of one

[WhackDaddy]

Reads just like a fluffy AW review which are absolutely useless.

How much was the Chinese and did she knock it off the bill?

[CharlieDong]

I know what you mean "looked through the spy hole and saw a vision of beauty with glasses and a long coat to keep her warm from the chilled night air."

  That exactly!

[Moresomes]

He / She  also seems to have lost the ability to communicate.
 

Probably just suffering from a temporary case of creative slowdown and writers block.
More than one best seller in a week is asking a lot of any literary giant.

[BlueRock]

This lady goes to top of the list for a repeat dose.

A dose? So she's got the clap as well as hairy nipples. I wouldn't right shit like that about a woman I was in a relationship with. Post takeaway sex, what stinking of garlic and all bloated and queazy. Grow the fuck up.