Now whether it’s fucks or deep throats
That float a keen punter’s sex-boats,
He’ll perform hard and fast
And will certainly last
If he’s breakfasted well on his oats!
I once knew a punter who planned
To eat a particular brand
– If the oats were by Quaker,
He was ready to take her
As soon as the spoon left his hand.
But whether they’re Quaker or Scott’s,
You need masses of oats in your pots.
Once it’s come to the boil
The porridge won’t spoil
– But be sure that you make lots and lots.
When you’ve eaten your porridge, your cock
Will always stay hard as a rock
– And, if oats have been swallowed,
The girl will then follow
And never once look at the clock!
If you fancy a really great punt,
It’s your oats that will put you in front
– ’Cos a girl loves a fella
Who is able to tell her
He’s oat-full for filling her cunt!