The red line most guys don’t cross

[Davey80]

Thinking back on some of the amazingly fit young women I’ve been lucky enough to fuck recently since my marriage turned sexless a few years back and the prospect of so much more juicy tits and and ass to come, what makes so many of us not cross the line into punting?

At the end of my life I like to think I’ll have a smile on my face because I took the step to fuck well over 100 fit women at will.  In an alternative life I’d have the grand total of 7 - and 4 of those not exactly oil paintings!

[chadpitt]

The same as most activities (time, money, health, location). But also the stigma and the risks attached with being outed.

[Blackpool Rock]

Thinking back on some of the amazingly fit young women I’ve been lucky enough to fuck recently since my marriage turned sexless a few years back and the prospect of so much more juicy tits and and ass to come, what makes so many of us not cross the line into punting?

At the end of my life I like to think I’ll have a smile on my face because I took the step to fuck well over 100 fit women at will.  In an alternative life I’d have the grand total of 7 - and 4 of those not exactly oil paintings!

I think for me when I started punting I wanted sex but relationships were a bit shit and I didn't need the agro, thought about it for a bit but there's the stigma thing bouncing round my head along with thinking it was illegal (despite never picking up a street girl only Indi's from the back pages and parlours but ask most people and they incorrectly think all prostitution is illegal), oh and I also had a concern that all the girls would be infected and or dodgy drug users / skanks.
There's a lot of stereotypes out there that until you start punting you don't realise they are wrong, may apply to street girls but not the majority of others

I'm thinking or certainly hoping that i'll be over the 1000 mark by the time I give up punting 

Let's be honest how many blokes lie on their death bed thinking "I wish i'd fucked less women" 

[Munter84]

As the chaps above mentioned, it's mostly unfounded stigmas and fear of the unknown that means the majority of blokes will never actually use a prostitute.

I think the completely inaccurate portrayals of sex work in film and TV has a lot to answer for. We sometimes get newbies here who arrive with the assumption that sex workers are:
a) Crackwhore street workers with missing teeth and oozing sores, who will give you a diseased gumjob for pennies
b) High end luxury courtesans a la Pretty Woman, who will charge you thousands simply to take her on a dinner date, and then she MIGHT sleep with you
c) Brothel workers. In the public imagination, these only exist in Amsterdam. Therefore unless you make a pilgrimage to Amsterdam, forget it.
d) Enslaved, trafficked women working in massage parlours forced to massage dozens of blokes a day. Even then, a lot of guys assume a Happy Ending is a facaetious urban legend.

And, because sex work is something that so rarely gets discussed in a frank manner in real life, the above misconceptions rarely get challenged.

If your average frustrated bloke sitting at home complaining about his virginity or sexless marriage realised he could pay about £150 for an hour of guaranteed sex that same day, with an attractive and hygienic woman of his choice, punting would be as commonplace as ordering a Dominos pizza.

[standardpostage]

Never crossed red line,
when, I've been happy in my relationship,
or skint.

[Charliehutton]

As the chaps above mentioned, it's mostly unfounded stigmas and fear of the unknown that means the majority of blokes will never actually use a prostitute.

I think the completely inaccurate portrayals of sex work in film and TV has a lot to answer for. We sometimes get newbies here who arrive with the assumption that sex workers are:
a) Crackwhore street workers with missing teeth and oozing sores, who will give you a diseased gumjob for pennies
b) High end luxury courtesans a la Pretty Woman, who will charge you thousands simply to take her on a dinner date, and then she MIGHT sleep with you
c) Brothel workers. In the public imagination, these only exist in Amsterdam. Therefore unless you make a pilgrimage to Amsterdam, forget it.
d) Enslaved, trafficked women working in massage parlours forced to massage dozens of blokes a day. Even then, a lot of guys assume a Happy Ending is a facaetious urban legend.

And, because sex work is something that so rarely gets discussed in a frank manner in real life, the above misconceptions rarely get challenged.

If your average frustrated bloke sitting at home complaining about his virginity or sexless marriage realised he could pay about £150 for an hour of guaranteed sex that same day, with an attractive and hygienic woman of his choice, punting would be as commonplace as ordering a Dominos pizza.

Spot on, I reckon, Munter. They were certainly my own preconceptions before I discovered - by fluke - what punting was really like.

[pantywetter]

I agree it’s the stigma of people who think that WGs are all riddled drug addicts.

When my mate sent me the link to the Sandys Superstars website 20+ years ago my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I realised the reality!

[GreyDave]

  I started in the Soho walk ups of the 1970`s the WG`s were quite hardend women with a fair mix of nationalities I plucked up nerve to go up stairs and shag at 16 as I had £10 to spend ( wish it was that now  ) it used to be a bit of a dogy place and the air of Soho was dismal it slowly got better and now sadly properties are so expensive i can see the end of the walk up My Punting really took of when I saw the Sport news paper ads my local area had a few postcard girls and in paper but the sport was a revalation I traveled quite a few miles in a crappy diesal Astra van to shag 1st Lee34ee a thai bird and then many others ...It is a-dick -tive once you know you can find this type age ect of bird to be taking your cock  youll never go back 

    I think the fear of addiction is what puts a lot of blokes off 

[Bat]

May sound dumb, but until late last year, I thought it was illegal!

I recently told a group of friends that I had a 'friend' who was a sex worker & every one of them thought it was as well!!

Postscript to this was that I told my best friend from that group that I'd actually been with an SP on the way to meet them all. He then proceeded to tell me about how he's paid for sex all over the world but never in the UK. Partly because he thought it was illegal but also because he's very wealthy & was pretty sure his wife would tear him to pieces in court if she ever found out he had paid for sex when he was in the same country as her (he thought she knew about places like Thailand, Russia & China because he worked in all of them for an extended time without her).

[southern punter]

Spot on, I reckon, Munter. They were certainly my own preconceptions before I discovered - by fluke - what punting was really like.

My preconceptions weren't quite so exaggerated but definitely in that ballpark.  I assumed any SP I found well attractive would be in the £1000+ "elite courtesan" category and any SP I could afford would be unnattractive and jaded /mechanical, shit sex with zero enthusiasm or chemistry.  It's nice that I was so wrong but maybe it's for the best those misconceptions are mainstream, imagine the price rises if everyone knew how good it could be 

[WelshClipper]

The old stigma I assume. That escorts carry STI’s and the risk of catching one.

My first punt at age 59, which I don’t really count in my running total  , was an agency girl in Kent. I was so nervous that I declined sex and just came in the bag during covered oral. Even then I was nervous an STI had jumped thru the latex 

My first real punt in Manchester 9 months later, was with a fantastic experienced escort, Lauren, in Manchester. Her mother was a nurse and Lauren was able to quash all my misgivings one by one.

So, yes the stigma was my red line, that took me about a year to cross, in total 

[thebastard]

I'm sure this has been asked somewhere before but what proportion of men do we believe have paid for sex?

[jseop109]

I'm sure this has been asked somewhere before but what proportion of men do we believe have paid for sex?

Well - an open search for all UK escorts on AW comes up with just under 40,000 escorts. Suppose half of all WGs are on AW - that would give a total of 80,000 WGs

Assuming on average a WG sees 4 punters a day for 5 days a week that makes 20 per week or 40 over 2 weeks. If an average punter punts once a fortnight then there would be 40 times more punters than WGs, so 80,000 x 40 = 3.2 million.

If the population of the UK is 65 million, let's say 50 million adults between the ages of 18 and 80, half of which are men, so 25 million men.

So that would mean about 14% of adult males are punters.

Of course all the above is total speculation so may be complete bollocks, but it's all good fun and it filled an idle couple of minutes!

[thebastard]

Ha ha very good.  I'd instinctively say as a one-off probably 20 to 25% i.e. stag dos and so on. Habitual users like us (i.e. monthly) I'd say maybe 5%.

[big-al93]

As well as the much posted ignorance of the reality and legalities of punting, and the stigma that has been much talked about, I think the attitudes are rapidly changing, the younger lads at work mention prostitution quite openly, but usually without confirming that they have actually used escort services.

The other point being whenever a group of lads discuss prostitution the old "Nah! I don't have to pay for it" almost always comes up. TBH this was a large mental block for me when I first thought about it. Of course once we get over that thought 

And since realised that even though I'm no prize, I don't HAVE to pay for it, but as I don't really want the hassle of a relationship, I CHOOSE to pay for the convenience of intimacy with a SP. On a similar, but far less fulfilling basis as I choose to use microwave pouches of rice, as I hate the hassle of boiling rice.

[Blackpool Rock]

I'm sure this has been asked somewhere before but what proportion of men do we believe have paid for sex?

Any guy who is married or ever had a GF 
Anyone who doesn't think they are paying for it in one way or another is sadly deluding themselves 

[Charliehutton]

Well - an open search for all UK escorts on AW comes up with just under 40,000 escorts. Suppose half of all WGs are on AW - that would give a total of 80,000 WGs

Assuming on average a WG sees 4 punters a day for 5 days a week that makes 20 per week or 40 over 2 weeks. If an average punter punts once a fortnight then there would be 40 times more punters than WGs, so 80,000 x 40 = 3.2 million.

If the population of the UK is 65 million, let's say 50 million adults between the ages of 18 and 80, half of which are men, so 25 million men.

So that would mean about 14% of adult males are punters.

Of course all the above is total speculation so may be complete bollocks, but it's all good fun and it filled an idle couple of minutes!

What an interesting read, jseop. A few years ago I estimated on here that there are roughly 3 million active punters in the UK, and nobody found any major flaws in the logic, so perhaps our numbers aren't too far off.

[Jonestown]

…… what makes so many of us not cross the line into punting?

You’re asking that question on the wrong forum aren’t you, how would punters know what goes on in the head of a non-punter ?

[alabama1]

May sound dumb, but until late last year, I thought it was illegal!

I recently told a group of friends that I had a 'friend' who was a sex worker & every one of them thought it was as well!!

Postscript to this was that I told my best friend from that group that I'd actually been with an SP on the way to meet them all. He then proceeded to tell me about how he's paid for sex all over the world but never in the UK. Partly because he thought it was illegal but also because he's very wealthy & was pretty sure his wife would tear him to pieces in court if she ever found out he had paid for sex when he was in the same country as her (he thought she knew about places like Thailand, Russia & China because he worked in all of them for an extended time without her).

It does 

[Blackpool Rock]

It does 

No it doesn't, that's what I thought when I started punting (as per my previous post) and it's what I believe the majority of the population think.
The Govt / authorities are happy for the myth to keep being perpetuated as it keeps a lid on prostitution and helps them control things

[alabama1]

No it doesn't, that's what I thought when I started punting (as per my previous post) and it's what I believe the majority of the population think.
The Govt / authorities are happy for the myth to keep being perpetuated as it keeps a lid on prostitution and helps them control things

You need to educate yourself mate. . And i doubt that it's what the majority of the population think. And it's not 'a myth', it's the law. Just because you are ignorant of the fact, doesn't make it a myth.

[Blackpool Rock]

You need to educate yourself mate. . And i doubt that it's what the majority of the population think. And it's not 'a myth', it's the law. Just because you are ignorant of the fact, doesn't make it a myth.

And you need to chill out mate, yet another thread where you come on all aggressive and make a comment that isn't needed, in this case "It does  " to Bat
Often seems to be late at night or at weekends in the afternoon, a few drinks inside you perhaps  If you can't handle a drink perhaps you shouldn't or perhaps you shouldn't come on here if you've had one 

So you "Doubt" it's what the majority of the population think however you yourself don't actually know

As for the "myth"; the law and me being ignorant perhaps try reading what's been posted and understanding it then you will see it's not me being ignorant but you 

[Andywb]

You need to educate yourself mate. . And i doubt that it's what the majority of the population think. And it's not 'a myth', it's the law. Just because you are ignorant of the fact, doesn't make it a myth.

Do you enjoy antagonising other members?

The myth being discussed (i.e. that prostitution is illegal) is not the law.

Blackpool admitted to believing in the myth that prostitution was illegal before he started punting. Now he says he knows otherwise. It seems he already got educated 

I wonder if there is any info on what the general public understand to be the law. There may have been surveys .....but I have not searched online

[jeanphillipe]

It does 

A lot of people in conversations, In which i have been where this has come up, people assume it illegal.  Thats my own observation.

Either everyone plays dumb or people are generally unaware. 

[daviemac]

A lot of people in conversations, In which i have been where this has come up, people assume it illegal.  Thats my own observation.

Either everyone plays dumb or people are generally unaware.

I think with the number of people on this forum who have shown they have no idea about the legalities of prostitution it would be safe to assume those who aren't participants in this hobby would know even less.

That is not even getting into the realms of what is illegal but the police tolerate and turn a blind eye to or what is illegal but the CPS would not class as in the public interest to prosecute.

[Blackpool Rock]

I think with the number of people on this forum who have shown they have no idea about the legalities of prostitution it would be safe to assume those who aren't participants in this hobby would know even less.

That is not even getting into the realms of what is illegal but the police tolerate and turn a blind eye to or what is illegal but the CPS would not class as in the public interest to prosecute.

Yes the law isn't straight forward however they often aren't which is why these solicitors get paid so much (i'm talking the legal profession ones here  )

From Wiki so perhaps not a guaranteed source in terms of 100% accuracies but still a good guide that shows up the intricacies of the law
External Link/Members Only

[Iloveoral]

It does 

It doesn’t sound dumb to me
He’s offering his opinion

[pythondan]

It would be interesting to know how much prostitution grew after use of the Internet became commonplace.

I had some mates I went to school with who joined the services and openly talked about visiting brothels in Germany and a couple of other who went to walk ups in Soho when in London for football matches but their stories didn't tempt me to indulge.

What did was discovering the old Captain69 review web site probably 20+ years ago. I never met anyone through that site but it spurred me into research and the discovery that there was a brothel about 400 yards from my flat! I visited that a few times and was soon addicted. At that time brothels still used to advertise in  the classified section of the local newspaper. There were normally one or two girls working supported by a maid who would answer the phone and give a well rehearsed description of the available ladies. These descriptions often did not match reality but I did see quite a few nice girls.

My job at the time involved quite a bit of travel so I soon discovered places like Sandys, Mystiques, Funplace etc. and was having a great time. The demise of parlours in my local area (and many others) is a source of sadness. The ability to punt on the spur of the moment is something I miss and maybe makes entry into the punting world harder than it used to be.

[JontyR]

It would be interesting to know how much prostitution grew after use of the Internet became commonplace.

it certainly changed I reckon. And I think this may have been the background to the different perceptions of legality.

My first awareness of prostitution was seeing streetwalkers when in the car when I was lad (under 16). I was aware that kerb crawling was illegal and it would be easy to think all punting was the same.

Perceptions may have been different if you came across adverts in phone boxes, newsagents windows or even newspapers. Funny to see how the Evening Mail is quite puritanical in some of its articles when it used to have loads of ad for sex workers in its pages.

The internet brought access into people's homes and later onto people's phones. I think this changed the basis of demand, and also the basis of supply with the EE and more latterly the Brazilian invasion. 

[tynetunnel]

It does 

Not to me. Like many others, I thought prostitution was illegal prior to me actually punting. You do like to have strong opinions. Please remember that these are just that - your opinions. It doesn’t make you right 

[sensualencounter]

Thinking back on some of the amazingly fit young women I’ve been lucky enough to fuck recently since my marriage turned sexless a few years back and the prospect of so much more juicy tits and and ass to come, what makes so many of us not cross the line into punting?

At the end of my life I like to think I’ll have a smile on my face because I took the step to fuck well over 100 fit women at will.  In an alternative life I’d have the grand total of 7 - and 4 of those not exactly oil paintings!

I think a lot of blokes value their marriage vows or commitment to their partner. Even if the sex has been turned off and they are frustrated, they still don’t go out and cheat.

[shed]

I think a lot of blokes value their marriage vows or commitment to their partner. Even if the sex has been turned off and they are frustrated, they still don’t go out and cheat.

Really 

[Blackpool Rock]

Really 

I know it's been stated before that many on here don't class punting as cheating, the usual response is to ask whether their wife would also see it the same way and I think we all know the answer to that one 

[contentguy]

I think a lot of blokes value their marriage vows or commitment to their partner. Even if the sex has been turned off and they are frustrated, they still don’t go out and cheat.

It’s an odd view to share on here!
Perhaps those that do get frustrated visit SPs  to overcome the frustration and enjoy their marriage despite the missing action.

You do seem to aspire to be the holy farter of morality on here.

It’s a punting forum, are you suggesting married punters should be excluded, or just condemned to a life of purgatory?

[alabama1]

I think a lot of blokes value their marriage vows or commitment to their partner. Even if the sex has been turned off and they are frustrated, they still don’t go out and cheat.

What a weird statement to make, on a punting site of all places 

[Jonestown]

What a weird statement to make, on a punting site of all places 

Indeed, it’s the sort of thing you’d expect a certain type of woman to say.

[alabama1]

Indeed, it’s the sort of thing you’d expect a certain type of woman to say.

Do you think his missus has infiltrated his account ? 

[JontyR]

What a weird statement to make, on a punting site of all places 

I don't see what weird about it. I think its probably true.

It's equally true to say that there are lot of blokes that use sex workers when they want sex but it isn't on offer with their spouse / partner.

[alabama1]

I don't see what weird about it. I think its probably true.

It's equally true to say that there are lot of blokes that use sex workers when they want sex but it isn't on offer with their spouse / partner.

That is the crux of what i am saying. You are contradicting sensualencounter !  lol

[JontyR]

That is the crux of what i am saying. You are contradicting sensualencounter !  lol

No I'm not, a lot of people watched Emmerdale last night. Doesn't mean that a lot of people didn't.

[robbie54321]

I tend to agree. I think when we get married we mean it don’t we? Life then changes. Anecdotally it seems that wife’s tend to stray first. I think that’s true statistically as well. Every one on here has a story as to why they punt just as every girl has a story as why they are SPs. However the most content men I know seem to be in good steady relationships. Some are not angles  but generally men who like there coupled life

They may have had hiccups but they have worked it out.
 
Maybe this isn’t the right thread but do you have more respect for a man who’s managed to live the life of the marriage vows? Never cheated, never strayed and wants to go home to his wife? (Or partner.. showing my age!) if I look up to someone I’m always disappointed if it comes out  that they have been living lie. Which is nearly always.


Not putting a downer on punting, we do what we do and enjoy it, I’ve had some great times but the older I get the more I don’t think that when I’m on my own in oap home I’ll really be smiling thinking about long lost escorts.

Then again Maybe I’ve watched to much Jordan Peterson😂
Time will tell

[RedKettle]

I think a lot of blokes value their marriage vows or commitment to their partner. Even if the sex has been turned off and they are frustrated, they still don’t go out and cheat.

I agree with this, it is how I feel. I know it sounds odd and I also appreciate that my OH is unlikely to see it that way. 

I do value my marriage for many reasons and I love my wife. However I could not remain n it with sex perhaps twice a year, probably a weakness/fault on my part. I would never cheat by having an affair.

However I see a meeting with a WG as something different to an affair, something closer to having a wank! There is no emotional commitment.

It s not a perfect situation, that would be having sex only with my OH, but it is in an imperfect world a solution I can live with and reconcile to my moral code.

Others on here may not agree, I do not care - they are not living in my shoes.

[Spacecowb0y]

I think a lot of blokes value their marriage vows or commitment to their partner. Even if the sex has been turned off and they are frustrated, they still don’t go out and cheat.

That morality only lasts a while,  eventually they either die inside or cross the red line.

[SeekingSteve]

All those that say seeing a SP is 'cheating' on their partner are wrong.
Its a mutually beneficial business transaction, you are paying for a service, not cheating.
Its like having bacon on bread and not toast occasionally. Sometimes you just want something softer and fresh 

[Andywb]

I think a lot of blokes value their marriage vows or commitment to their partner. Even if the sex has been turned off and they are frustrated, they still don’t go out and cheat.

This obviously does not apply to ukp members, but I agree this is probably why many men do not 'cross the redline'.

[Blackpool Rock]

All those that say seeing a SP is 'cheating' on their partner are wrong.
Its a mutually beneficial business transaction, you are paying for a service, not cheating.
Its like having bacon on bread and not toast occasionally. Sometimes you just want something softer and fresh 

As I previously posted and as covered on numerous previous threads try that argument with your wife and let us know the response, then tell her that "She's wrong", let us know how you get on 

[Charliehutton]

I know it's been stated before that many on here don't class punting as cheating, the usual response is to ask whether their wife would also see it the same way and I think we all know the answer to that one 

True enough, Rocky. Whenever a wife writes to Dear Deidre, having discovered that her husband has been paying for sex, the advice she's given is always wrong; confront him, have a frank and honest discussion, tell him it has to stop, consult a Relate counsellor, that sort of guff. The correct advice, of course, would be as follows:

1) If he's paying for sex then it's good news, because it means he isn't having an affair. It's an affair that can threaten to break up your marriage, and your family; paying for sex is just a no-strings-attached bit of fun for him, and no cause for concern.

2) Please don't think it means he loves you any the less, or reflects badly on you in any way. No matter how strong your relationship, he will always want something you can never give him, which is sex with someone else. It's how they're programmed, that's all, and no big deal.

3) He may occasionally want something in the bedroom that you find...distasteful. It's all that on-line porn he watches. Do you really want anal sex, or to have him ejaculate all over your face? Of course you don't, so let him get it out of his system with a professional, then you won't have to bother.

4) He's not getting any younger, and visiting attractive young floozies 30 or 40 years his junior should at least mean he'll try to stay reasonably presentable. Imagine what a slob he'd be otherwise.

5) When he gets home after visiting a succulent, Brazilian hottie he'll likely have a spring in his step for days, and be much better company for you than the grumpy old sod you've grown used to. He may even have a present for you; a new ironing board, perhaps, or a trip to Dunelm!

6) Please remember he is still the warm, kind, generous, loving, caring man that you fell in love with, and who you want to be happy, so let him enjoy his occasional, harmless little peccadilloes and count your blessings!

[SeekingSteve]

As I previously posted and as covered on numerous previous threads try that argument with your wife and let us know the response, then tell her that "She's wrong", let us know how you get on 

Im not stupid enough to try that 

[tynetunnel]

The correct advice, of course, would be as follows:

Excellent advice Charlie

[sensualencounter]

It’s an odd view to share on here!
Perhaps those that do get frustrated visit SPs  to overcome the frustration and enjoy their marriage despite the missing action.

You do seem to aspire to be the holy farter of morality on here.

It’s a punting forum, are you suggesting married punters should be excluded, or just condemned to a life of purgatory?

The question was why do so many blokes not punt. I’m not judging anyone on here, merely saying why I believe a lot of men don’t punt. It seems to have rattled your cage and a few others though.

Is it the word cheating that has triggered you and Alabama? Because all this justification of it being a business transaction and means nothing isn’t what the vast majority signed up for when getting married or partnering up. And as has been pointed out a couple of times, if you’re so sure it’s not cheating then check with the other half (if you have one) and see what she says.

Or maybe see if you’d be happy with the missus having a no strings fuck every now and again.

So, I’ll reiterate my point. I believe that a lot of men don’t go and see escorts because they’re in a relationship and don’t want to cheat on their partner. That’s only one reason, another reason is because of the stigma and perception of it all. And I’m sure there are plenty of others as well, like finances or lack of self esteem.