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Author Topic: Punts where you really let yourself down  (Read 8257 times)

SirFrank

  • Guest
Have you had any punts where you let yourself down? Behaved like a knob or just performed like a virgin? A few years back I visited a woman in South Wales who was a professional masseuse. I used to have a massage with a happy ending. She did offer full sex but I never really wanted to shag her. Anyway one day I asked her if she also did oral while she was polishing the old fella.

She said yeah no probs. stripped off and I thought wtf. She then went to her box of tricks and deep throated me. When she came up for air she'd put a condom on unseen just using her mouth. She then jumped on the table grabbed my cock and sat on it balls deep. It's never happened before or since but I cum pretty much straight away. Cost me an extra £50 and I didn't even want a fuck. I'm still not sure what happened but I lasted much longer when I first popped my cherry.

I never went back

Offline Silver Birch

Cost me an extra £50 and I didn't even want a fuck.

If she had jumped on me without saying there was a extra cost, she would have to sing for it. The most I ever carry when visiting a new prossie is the fee, plus a secret £20 just in case. No chance of her getting £50.

TheDoctor

  • Guest
I saw this one about 18 months ago and the sex lasted 5 seconds if that. A new low. I could do with seeing her again - of late I've had the opposite problem (retarded ejaculation) with other girls so need a cure.

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SirFrank

  • Guest
If she had jumped on me without saying there was a extra cost, she would have to sing for it. The most I ever carry when visiting a new prossie is the fee, plus a secret £20 just in case. No chance of her getting £50.

Haha. She did pre warn me that it would cost extra but I can't recall the finer detail. I rarely have more than £20 extra on me but I did have enough to pay her

SirFrank

  • Guest
I saw this one about 18 months ago and the sex lasted 5 seconds if that. A new low. I could do with seeing her again - of late I've had the opposite problem (retarded ejaculation) with other girls so need a cure.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Fucking yowser. She's hot. My bird looked like Liz McDonald. She did give a good Swedish massage though....

Offline darkvamp

I went to see this WG a few months back she claimed to be 45 but she was more like 55+. I thought to hell with it I'll give it a try but the way she kept talking to me was like I was being spoken to by my grandmother. Needless to say the old boy retreated and couldn't get it back up 25 mins into the booking so she told me to go home and didn't get a refund.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2014, 10:46:35 pm by darkvamp »

Offline Silver Birch

Fucking yowser. She's hot. My bird looked like Liz McDonald. She did give a good Swedish massage though....

Frank, were you channel hopping?? By the sound of it, you were all finished in the commercial break before those damn meerkats re-appeared on the screen.

SirFrank

  • Guest
Frank, were you channel hopping?? By the sound of it, you were all finished in the commercial break before those damn meerkats re-appeared on the screen.

Pmsl. Yeah it really wasn't my finest hour

vorian

  • Guest
Fucking yowser. She's hot. My bird looked like Liz McDonald. She did give a good Swedish massage though....

Fucking yowser indeed SirFrank, just did a quick search of UKP and I surprised that nothing came up. If for no other reason, so people could say how expensive she is. :lol:

TheDoctor

  • Guest
Fucking yowser indeed SirFrank, just did a quick search of UKP and I surprised that nothing came up. If for no other reason, so people could say how expensive she is. :lol:

According to my trusty spreadsheet she was £120 back then, a few profiles ago. Doubled in price in 18 months.

Curious6705

  • Guest
The first German brothel I visited. Avoiding the Cosima Wagner lookalikes in the contact bar my eye was taken by a beautiful brunette with porcelain skin. She trotted over to talk to me and offered up some idiomatic German I couldn't follow. Seeing I was not understanding she asked "Suck and fuck?". Upstairs we went. It was still post-aids puritanical in newly unified Germany, so all covered. Into a 69 but no touching or licking of pussy ... wtf. She popped the old fella in her mouth, he was still soft, but I came almost instantly without even getting hard ...

Offline Stiltskin

For one of my first punts I saw this scouse girl that was notorious for being wild in the room and also for getting her punters off in record time.

After a vigorous BJ she stood up on the bed, feet either side of me. I looked down and to my surprise I was now wearing a condom. Without any warning she plunged down on me, sat directly on my cock and started to ride me like Seabiscuit. Fearing the inevitable I shouted stop, but it was too late. She jumped off and I tried to hold it in, but couldn't. I then had the weakest orgasm, dribbling hardly anything into the condom whilst she watched. I must have lasted 3 seconds at most.

Offline wristjob

I tried to hold it in, but couldn't. I then had the weakest orgasm, dribbling hardly anything into the condom whilst she watched. I must have lasted 3 seconds at most.

I had one like that a few months back. Was fucking this absolutely gorgeous girl but agreed CIM ending. Anyway I felt myself coming, no stopping it so pulled it out hurriedly and some kind of combination of coming and not coming. She offered me a tenner back too - could it get more shameful.

Worst ever though was way way back in a lapdance club in Budapest. I had a private dance with this gorgeous girl - and they are proper dances there, fingers anywhere you want. She was rubbing her arse in my groin and noticed it wasn't hard - yep that bad :(

Offline joshwinkers

Most embarrassing for me was back in the 90s with an unbelievably hot Australian blonde in a soho walk up. It was only my sixth or seventh punt and I'd never been close to a woman as beautiful as she was, and she had the most amazing tits too. But yeah, about 10 seconds of oral (with condom) and I came. The gutting thing is that I never found her again, would love to have had a proper go as she was a really friendly girl too.

a10

  • Guest
I went to see Devon Dru for a "lapdancer fantasy" meet. Got lost twice on the way had to phone for directions. Arrived late and went straight for the bj and sex without a lapdance as I was so flustered. Eventually got in doggy and started giving the biggun about how I was going to bang her like she's never been banged before. Two minutes (at most) of pumping and I felt the inevitable coming on. Managed to pull out and get the rubber off, only to fire a string of jizz past her waiting face and all over a new and clean looking pillow on the bed.

Not sure who was more unimpressed.

Offline akauya


I used to go to porn stars parties run by Ric Porter. Sometimes he used to film the parties for material for his website (I don't think he ever managed to get the website up though).

Anyway at one of his parties, a cum on face themed one, I was having great fun fucking Scarlett March (who is a lovely, down to earth, friendly girl by the way). Unfortunately I had had sex the night before so when it came to cum on her face  I only managed a dribble. I remember Ric hovering over us with his camera and being encouraging despite my lacklustre performance. To make matters worse, he took his clothes off fucked the girls (whilst holding the camera) and the proceeded to drench their faces.

Fuck, that showed me  :blush:

vorian

  • Guest
I used to go to porn stars parties run by Ric Porter. Sometimes he used to film the parties for material for his website (I don't think he ever managed to get the website up though).

Anyway at one of his parties, a cum on face themed one, I was having great fun fucking Scarlett March (who is a lovely, down to earth, friendly girl by the way). Unfortunately I had had sex the night before so when it came to cum on her face  I only managed a dribble. I remember Ric hovering over us with his camera and being encouraging despite my lacklustre performance. To make matters worse, he took his clothes off fucked the girls (whilst holding the camera) and the proceeded to drench their faces.

Fuck, that showed me  :blush:

Yep been there and done that and know the feeling only to well,  it's the walk of shame to the wet wipes.

616

  • Guest
My first visit to the New Blythswood sauna off Argyle street, Glasgow. Got there on a Thursday night at about 7.40pm, got inside, sat on a couch and eyed up the ladies on duty while they watched East Enders (had to wait till EE was finished as I was the only client in at that time...).

Made my choice, a hard looking brunette, and went into the room. I think I booked the room for half an hour or something. This woman was seriously horny although she was a bit put out when I asked her to hold her pussy open. Anyway, she put a condom on me and started sucking. Now, I've come with oral three times in my life and this was the first. Must've lasted about ten seconds....

Talk about being mortified. Not even a half-hearted pop but a full blown condom filling orgasm. Felt pretty sheepish and got gently told off for not controlling my "come" (orgasm)...

Never saw this woman again but boffed 'Sally' and 'Cindy' there on further visits, always asking for a "Ham shank and a ride"!

SirPhilipXX

  • Guest
I saw this one about 18 months ago and the sex lasted 5 seconds if that. A new low. I could do with seeing her again - of late I've had the opposite problem (retarded ejaculation) with other girls so need a cure.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

That will be an expensive way to get treatment - look at her rates!

But then if she insists on living in a brand new flat in Hampstead she is never going to be cheap.


a10

  • Guest
Remembered a one from years ago. A little parlour outside Kings Lynn, went to see my first older lady for a MILF experience. Being young and relatively inexperienced I was quite nervous. She came in the room and began the massage. That went well and she hopped off to get started on the bj. Took a moment to change the radio station and a 60s tune came on.
"Hope you don't mind the golden oldies!" said she, referring to Roy Orbison or whatever.
"Oh come on, you're not that bad love" I replied abscentmindedly. The temperature in the room dropped noticeably when I realised what I'd said. 

She finished the meet, bless her. True professionalism. Bit harsh on the HJ though.

dilettante

  • Guest
LOL, sounds like the legendary "When's it due?"  :D

My first UK punt was at a "managed house" of 3 girls in Luton, the door was opened by the most beautiful young Hungarian girl, "How long do you want" etc but while ratching in my wallet my hands were shaking uncontrollably worse than George Best at the Pearly Gates.  Then when she said "Do you want sex with or without a condom?" I didn't know what to reply; I continued to vacillate even when she repeated it so she just slipped one on anyway.

Offline Clooney

I saw this one about 18 months ago and the sex lasted 5 seconds if that. A new low. I could do with seeing her again - of late I've had the opposite problem (retarded ejaculation) with other girls so need a cure.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Hi. I'm new here, but I'm hoping that you can help me here.

I'm keen to see this girl for some 'safe submissive' play, ie for her to play a submissive role but with her complete agreement, limits respected and safe play assured at all times.

I am looking for a sweet English girl who I can play at gently, sensually and erotically 'corrupting' to do all sorts of naughty things that nice, pure, young English girls wouldn't usually do.

So nothing too hardcore, but fun anyway, an a bit if soft GFE afterwards.

Do you think she's the type that's up for this sort of play? And also is she a nice girl, because although we're talking about sub games, I will treat her like a naughty little princess.

Cheers in advance.

Clooney.

Offline Roth

Hi. I'm new here, but I'm hoping that you can help me here.

I'm keen to see this girl for some 'safe submissive' play, ie for her to play a submissive role but with her complete agreement, limits respected and safe play assured at all times.

I am looking for a sweet English girl who I can play at gently, sensually and erotically 'corrupting' to do all sorts of naughty things that nice, pure, young English girls wouldn't usually do.

So nothing too hardcore, but fun anyway, an a bit if soft GFE afterwards.

Do you think she's the type that's up for this sort of play? And also is she a nice girl, because although we're talking about sub games, I will treat her like a naughty little princess.

Cheers in advance.

Clooney.

Fucking pricey - more like Royalty then.   Bet you could find a better value naughty little princess.

vorian

  • Guest
Hi. I'm new here, but I'm hoping that you can help me here.

I'm keen to see this girl for some 'safe submissive' play, ie for her to play a submissive role but with her complete agreement, limits respected and safe play assured at all times.

I am looking for a sweet English girl who I can play at gently, sensually and erotically 'corrupting' to do all sorts of naughty things that nice, pure, young English girls wouldn't usually do.

So nothing too hardcore, but fun anyway, an a bit if soft GFE afterwards.

Do you think she's the type that's up for this sort of play? And also is she a nice girl, because although we're talking about sub games, I will treat her like a naughty little princess.

Cheers in advance.

Clooney.

Best thing to do is ask her, subs don't often push the advertising with these things, some prefer to see a punter before to gauge them. Or they might want a lot of AW FB from prossies they can double check with. A polite well thought out email will help find out what she is willing to do.

Offline Clooney

Fucking pricey - more like Royalty then.   Bet you could find a better value naughty little princess.

Do you have anyone in mind you could recommend, Roth? English/British/Irish and in the London area?

vorian

  • Guest
Do you have anyone in mind you could recommend, Roth? English/British/Irish and in the London area?

Have a look at this girl, not my thing but she does have reviews on UKP.


External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Offline Roth

Do you have anyone in mind you could recommend, Roth? English/British/Irish and in the London area?

Not a sub fan so no, sorry.  Hopefully others can help.  Maybe Cornishsub has some London experience?

Offline wristjob

I think there is more than 1 for everybody. Oh well, he's one I remember.

Went into a parlour specifically asking for a girl who did CIM and ended up with an absolute stunner. Anyway  it's an extra tenner for CIM, we agree fees get down to it..... OWO, sex - and I'm coming right there so I try and whip it out and shove it in her mouth super fast which is kind of bad enough - I'm not even sure what went where.

Anyway she gave me the tenner back which is kind of the bit that hurt the most.

jimbobwood

  • Guest
I struggle to find a good medium. Sometimes I cum too quickly, and other times can't get fully hard and don't cum at all. I usually find something else to do, but I'm also thinking to myself " I've let myself down here or she must think I'm a right retard". Then I think I'm paying, there is no expectations, it's down to her to please me.

Pompoy123

  • Guest
Just finished reading this tread and not laughed so hard in ages. My flatmates must be thinking WTF lol.  :D

Offline Clooney

Not a sub fan so no, sorry.  Hopefully others can help.  Maybe Cornishsub has some London experience?

Yeah, I've been looking at her but she doesn't do CIM from what I see.

vorian

  • Guest
Yeah, I've been looking at her but she doesn't do CIM from what I see.

Sorry which girl do you mean.  :unknown:

yorkshire123

  • Guest
Visited Blackpool on business last year.
Decided to sample some of the local talent & settled on a thai massage at a parlour, with extras if they were available?
Choose a sexy looking girl, i estimated around 21 & with a cracking body.
Clothes off, shared bath then onto the bed for a massage.
Started with my back & very nice it was too, Turned over & she started to rub her tits over my cock & balls. I don't remember much else as i fell to sleep!
I woke up to find that she had given me a pedicure (i am a very deep sleeper) & time was up, found out later that she was a beauty therapist in Thailand, or so she said, either way she did a very good job of my feet.

Determined to prove my manliness i went back the next week & performed adequately (my assessment not hers), I also found out she was 34 not the 21 i had imagined.
Getting dressed with head held high i was soon brought back to earth when she said "i thought your were gay"  :(


vorian

  • Guest
Visited Blackpool on business last year.
Decided to sample some of the local talent & settled on a thai massage at a parlour, with extras if they were available?
Choose a sexy looking girl, i estimated around 21 & with a cracking body.
Clothes off, shared bath then onto the bed for a massage.
Started with my back & very nice it was too, Turned over & she started to rub her tits over my cock & balls. I don't remember much else as i fell to sleep!
I woke up to find that she had given me a pedicure (i am a very deep sleeper) & time was up, found out later that she was a beauty therapist in Thailand, or so she said, either way she did a very good job of my feet.

Determined to prove my manliness i went back the next week & performed adequately (my assessment not hers), I also found out she was 34 not the 21 i had imagined.
Getting dressed with head held high i was soon brought back to earth when she said "i thought your were gay"  :(

You owe me a cup of coffee and a new keyboard,  :lol: :hi:  :lol:

Offline f_angel



Never saw this woman again but boffed 'Sally' and 'Cindy' there on further visits, always asking for a "Ham shank and a ride"!

Who was the hard looking brunette? I remember Sally and Cindy. One did Sally on the floor of the big lounge (not the one where the girls usually wait)...

Offline Clooney


vorian

  • Guest
Sorry, Submissive Charlotte.

Oh sorry, yes I see what you mean, real subs girls are quite specialist, you also pay a premium it seems.

Offline hendrix

My first group scene left me a bit, er, limp   :cry:

Offline mh

Sorry, Submissive Charlotte.

I've met her and did a report on here https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=11305.msg168110;topicseen#msg168110

I don't remember if she did CIM or not, now! Anyway I was there for the sub girl experience and enjoyed it very much.

616

  • Guest
Who was the hard looking brunette? I remember Sally and Cindy. One did Sally on the floor of the big lounge (not the one where the girls usually wait)...

Sorry F_Angel - can't remember this woman's name at all. Shoulder length hair with a fringe, looked brassy and very fucking hot. Went there about four times in all but don't recall the area you said you did Sally on (my last visit was in 2003).

Offline f_angel

Sounds like Trixie to me...

It was the area between the changing room and the lounge area where the girls sat. You had to go through it to get to most of the rooms so it was pretty open.

Xerxes

  • Guest
An MMF threesome with a wonderful English girl, C, since retired and much missed.

After many meets with C she started saying "You're just like this other client, you'd really get on". One day I left her an enthusiastic review on PN and then got an email from this guy, M, agreeing with how great she was. Sure enough, conversation with C revealed that M was the other client. One thing led to another and after a game of increasingly excited text tennis between M and me the 3 of us ended up in bed together. One fabulous girl and two blokes who'd never seen each other before.

What a fucking catastrophe. I can't bring myself to describe the extent of it.

cockneybstrd

  • Guest
An MMF threesome with a wonderful English girl, C, since retired and much missed.

After many meets with C she started saying "You're just like this other client, you'd really get on". One day I left her an enthusiastic review on PN and then got an email from this guy, M, agreeing with how great she was. Sure enough, conversation with C revealed that M was the other client. One thing led to another and after a game of increasingly excited text tennis between M and me the 3 of us ended up in bed together. One fabulous girl and two blokes who'd never seen each other before.

What a fucking catastrophe. I can't bring myself to describe the extent of it.

So who took a length ? C M or X or all three of you ??.

I have left myself down a few times one of the worst was a few years ago when I broke a vase by accident in an alleged 'courtsean's' bathroom. She was not impressed tried to claim it was expensive when it clearly was Next at Home

Offline socks

I broke a bed recently in an apartment she had hired. It was one of those slatted affairs and one snapped when I knelt on the bed in readiness to paint the lucky lady's face :unknown:

Bob Cratchit

  • Guest
What a fucking catastrophe. I can't bring myself to describe the extent of it.

It'll give everyone a laugh and it could be cathartic.  :P

Rochdull lad

  • Guest

What a fucking catastrophe. I can't bring myself to describe the extent of it.

As "Mrs Doyle" from Father Ted would say, "Awh; go on; go on; go on!" ;) :D

Or was that what "C" said to you both?! ;)

taffdan

  • Guest
Booked a WS session and over did the water before hand - got lost finding the flat, pissed myself on the way up in the lift, had to wash my trousers, socks, and shredies and put them in her tumble drier and take a shower before we started and then couldn't piss a thimble full. C'est la vie :D

DaveMugabe

  • Guest
Booked a WS session and over did the water before hand - got lost finding the flat, pissed myself on the way up in the lift, had to wash my trousers, socks, and shredies and put them in her tumble drier and take a shower before we started and then couldn't piss a thimble full. C'est la vie :D
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

cockneybstrd

  • Guest
As "Mrs Doyle" from Father Ted would say, "Awh; go on; go on; go on!" ;) :D

Or was that what "C" said to you both?! ;)

The current odds are

5/4 Erection Failure for X
2/1 Some kind of Bi action between X and M at C''s suggestion
20/1 M was X's dad

Captain Kang

  • Guest
Normally a good sucking would say goodbye to Mr Floppy. Right?
I went for a £10 BBBJ, and the little guy wouldn't have any of it. Served me right for being cheap.