telling the other half she may have an STD!

[robs one]

Is there any bloody way I can possibly tell my other half that she may have an STD without her cutting off my bollocks, divine intervention welcome!

[sbk]

Short answer: no.

[Silver Birch]

Go on the offensive and ask what the fuck SHE has been up to 

[Clicktocollect]

Get two lots of treatment and do a bit of cooking. Include the treatment in the ingredients. 

[rolf32313]

Not really, the million dollar questions is why do you think she may have an STD and which one?
If you have tested positive for something then...shit...

[Linker]

Go on the offensive and ask what the fuck SHE has been up to 

  Think this is your best bet. Did you pick up this STD by a prossie? If so a link would help so others can avoid.

[Boundless]

Is there any bloody way I can possibly tell my other half that she may have an STD without her cutting off my bollocks, divine intervention welcome!

Hmm, this is where the wheels can potentially come off the punting wagon.

My plan would be to say nothing and hope she hasn't got it, the alternative is not a very palatable scenario in my book.

I had a similar scare a few years ago in the days when sex with Mrs Sam was still on the menu. I'd had OWO with a couple of WG's, although the sex was covered, and a couple of weeks later developed a pain when pissing. Unfortunately between the WG's and the symptoms I'd shagged the Mrs, only once, but BB of course. The GUM gave me the magic tablet, but the tests all came back negative, it was still a very worrying time.

[Dani]

I would recommend getting tested first and if you do have one then I am afraid you need to bite the bullet and tell her as some STIs can cause some serious issues in women if left untreated such as pelvic inflammatory disease.  One nasty bugger that will pretty much kill any sex life you may have with her as it would be too painful as well as a partner who was miserable and in pain a lot of the time.

I would not however tell her it was with a prossie as that would add insult to injury as not only did you have sex with another woman you spent what she will see as family money on doing so.

Perhaps a drunken blow job on a night out that you regretted immediately and tried to forget.

[CBPaul]

Do you know for sure that you have one ? If not then get tested.

If you do have one you have to find some way of talking to the OH, can't think of a reasonable excuse but there was a thread on here not that long ago about the very same subject.

As for not saying anything and hoping she hasn't got it, personally I think that is a ridiculous approach. Risk your OH having an STD and saying nothing. Really ?? 

[yorkshire123]

Perhaps a drunken blow job on a night out that you regretted immediately and tried to forget.

Yep, I'm sure that will help, maybe his OH will use a scalpel to remove his chin nuts as opposed to a bread knife. 

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

Which STD?

Several of them (chlamydia,  herpes, HPV, maybe others) can remain dormant for years,  making it plausible that you picked it up"when you were younger".

[robs one]

thanks for the advice people. I'm going to get tested but something isn't right down there, seem to have a nagging pain in my balls and a slight burning when I piss. still ill wait and find out before I sacrifice my bollocks and tell her
the coward in me would take the advice of dropping a tablet in meal but I think I'm going to have to tell her if it comes back positive. No more OWO for me with WG's or for that mater with anyone!
I think your right with the casual BJ but as for the caught it before we met, I've been married 24 years!

[vorian]

thanks for the advice people. I'm going to get tested but something isn't right down there, seem to have a nagging pain in my balls and a slight burning when I piss. still ill wait and find out before I sacrifice my bollocks and tell her
the coward in me would take the advice of dropping a tablet in meal but I think I'm going to have to tell her if it comes back positive. No more OWO for me with WG's or for that mater with anyone!
I think your right with the casual BJ but as for the caught it before we met, I've been married 24 years!

Get tested first, it could be anything.

[touch.and.go]

And the results take a couple of weeks. 

[vorian]

And the results take a couple of weeks. 

So best for the OP not to do anything until then.

[CoolTiger]

So best for the OP not to do anything until then.

Including having sex with his wife. Try to get out of that one!!

[touch.and.go]

Including having sex with his wife. Try to get out of that one!!

Easy - tell her you've got an STI 

[CoolTiger]

Easy - tell her you've got an STI 

worse still... tell her you have a headache.... then all hell breaks loose and then she'll be convinced you have an STI

[vorian]

Including having sex with his wife. Try to get out of that one!!

I was under the impression that for most married punters "Not having sex with the wife" was a relatively easy activity. 

[akauya]

And the results take a couple of weeks. 

That is normally the case in most GUM clinicns except the External Link/Members Only if you go early in the day you get your results the same day, as long as you ave no symptoms that is, if you do they will send you to the other one and then you will have to wait a couple of weeks.

I think the OP already has symptoms so a couple of weeks wait it is.

[robs one]

That is normally the case in most GUM clinicns except the External Link/Members Only if you go early in the day you get your results the same day, as long as you ave no symptoms that is, if you do they will send you to the other one and then you will have to wait a couple of weeks.

I think the OP already has symptoms so a couple of weeks wait it is.

thanks , ill drop into that one this week

[Jim Panzee]

Not sure if this might help excuses wise but I had a mate who claimed that he caught crabs off a blanket in a police cell after being locked up over night for being drunken disorderly.

[Happyjose]

As others have said, get tested as soon as, and don't fuck anyone till you find out what you're facing.

Not much point speculating what it might be beyond what you have already, you'll just drive yourself nuts. At the end of the day it could turn out to be a simple bladder infection, so stay hopeful.

Best of luck anyway

[Taggart]

As the OP is faced with a punter's ultimate dilemma, I'd say do nothing until certain. Despite the pressure you may feel you are under, sometimes doing nothing can be an option, as situations can be resolved in other ways.

There's no point in creating a volatile situation without just cause if she hasn't caught an STI. You learn from the lesson and move on.

If she has any STI symptoms, you will know in a day or two, and sorry to say, but the scapel will be out. If no symptoms, you need to abstain from sex without condoms with her until you are confirmed as clear. Feign back ache or something, but the key factors are to act as normal as possible so as not to attract attention. Dont do anything in her presence that might be construed as different or unusual behaviour. Women start to ask questions, and you soon get caught out.

Dealing with the inevitable fallout if she has (and you have) an STI will be immensely difficult. You will be asked some very searching questions, and having been wrongly accused of philandering in the past over, you have my sympathy.  A woman scorned is not a pleasant sight, and it seriously buggers up all future trust. If you stick together, you feel you are on probation, with your every move, text and email being questioned.  I've been there, and twice been a gnat's cock away from being booted out - and not for activities with WGs.

Best of luck.


 

[cockneybstrd]

Towels....

Towels can carry STD's, You could say you picked up the wrong towel at the gym, And it appears you have caught something that way. It is possible she can google it and see results.

She may think you have been doing something gay in the showers though

[Daffodil]

First things first, get tested. Useless speculating about the worst case scenario. Don't fucking do anything stupid like telling her she may have an STD when you don't even know if you do. That would be the ultimate spacktardness. In the meantime no unprotected sex. Not rocket science.

Tested and negative? Congratulations. Live to fight another day.

Tested and positive? Now the fun really starts. Two priorities: her health and your relationship.

In terms of the relationship, who knows. It may not even be worth saving, only you know. No house? No kids? No shared assets? No marriage? It influences how drastic you need to be. Even if you have given her an STD, the consequences of her finding out may be greater than her just having an untreated STD.

Excuses? Nah, you're fucked. Getting it from a towel may be possible (although I've never heard if it), but she ain't going to believe a word of it. I'd go damage limitation, try and think of the least hurtful scenario you can for picking an STD up. Don't go telling her you've been fucking lots of prostitutes though! Perhaps a one night drunken office fumble?

But even if you have the STD, you may not have passed it on. Think about getting treated, get the all clear, fuck the OH again. Get re-tested a few months later. If you remain all clear then it implies your OH is too. Not definitely, but changes the probability perhaps in the favour of staying quiet.

Getting a second lot of treatment and slipping it to her on the sly? Unethical and potentially harmful (she could react to the antibiotics), but this needs to be weighed up against the damage a breakup may cause (on her, on the children, on your life).

Final thought; if you do have an STD are you 100% sure you've not caught it from her? You should start doing a bit of snooping yourself 

[threechilliman]

First things first, get tested. Useless speculating about the worst case scenario. Don't fucking do anything stupid like telling her she may have an STD when you don't even know if you do. That would be the ultimate spacktardness. In the meantime no unprotected sex. Not rocket science.

Tested and negative? Congratulations. Live to fight another day.

Tested and positive? Now the fun really starts. Two priorities: her health and your relationship.

In terms of the relationship, who knows. It may not even be worth saving, only you know. No house? No kids? No shared assets? No marriage? It influences how drastic you need to be. Even if you have given her an STD, the consequences of her finding out may be greater than her just having an untreated STD.

Excuses? Nah, you're fucked. Getting it from a towel may be possible (although I've never heard if it), but she ain't going to believe a word of it. I'd go damage limitation, try and think of the least hurtful scenario you can for picking an STD up. Don't go telling her you've been fucking lots of prostitutes though! Perhaps a one night drunken office fumble?

But even if you have the STD, you may not have passed it on. Think about getting treated, get the all clear, fuck the OH again. Get re-tested a few months later. If you remain all clear then it implies your OH is too. Not definitely, but changes the probability perhaps in the favour of staying quiet.

Getting a second lot of treatment and slipping it to her on the sly? Unethical and potentially harmful (she could react to the antibiotics), but this needs to be weighed up against the damage a breakup may cause (on her, on the children, on your life).

Final thought; if you do have an STD are you 100% sure you've not caught it from her? You should start doing a bit of snooping yourself 

Pretty much what I think. Find out if you have one and if you have, then damage limitation it is.

If it were me (and let's hope it never is  ), I'd go for a drunken fumble as the least offensive and hurtful and maybe, just maybe, you'll save your marriage. We all do odd things when we're drunk....

tcm

[Daffodil]

Suggest going swinging. You don't have much to lose if you do have an STD...if she agrees then you have a ready made excuse for where one of you picked up an STD and you have just got your OH swinging! Or a threesome or something.

Turn the situation to your advantage, an STD might be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship 

[Steve2]

Suggest going swinging. You don't have much to lose if you do have an STD...if she agrees then you have a ready made excuse for where one of you picked up an STD and you have just got your OH swinging! Or a threesome or something.

Turn the situation to your advantage, an STD might be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship 

I love your logic Daff

 

[Tony Montana]

 You should tell your wife, after all she is going to have to inform all the blokes she has been barebacking 

But seriously - good luck mate, its a punters worst nightmare. 

[Daffodil]

You should tell your wife, after all she is going to have to inform all the blokes she has been barebacking 

But seriously - good luck mate, its a punters worst nightmare. 

Indeed, I've already made my appointment with the gum clinic 

[rogerc23]

I worry about this a lot too,sex isnt that frequent with the missus but i am finding myself wanting it less at home due to my increased punting,i love my owo and cim so the risk is always there!
If it were me i would get tested,if i had an sti i would wait till it was gone before shagging my wife a lot to see whether this led to me being reinfected.
If i then got the all clear i would assume ihad never passed it to her in the first place,a lot of aggravation bur better than owning up!

[Closet freak]

First thing to do is tell the prossie she has a std, second thing to do is post a link to the prossie , third thing tell the wife you caught it on the works toilet  insist its the true cos half the work force have caught it too 

[Toby]

Is there any likelihood that your wife is a secret barebacking hooker?

[punk]

Good luck with that 1

[AnthG]

My advice buy a sex toy like a fleshlight and make great emphasis you have bought it - she will probably kick off.

After she kicks off purposefully don't ever clean it, let it get manky to the stage where you can see it looks revolting.

And then you can claim you caught something that had been growing on the sex toy you have used from non cleaning of it.

Its a far fetched scenario but its better than arguing you caught it from sharing a towel or toilet seat.

[sarahjayneleeds]

Get tested first, it could be anything.

+1 As said the results take two weeks. In the meantime, depending what you think it is and  if you have a safe address for delivery. You could order this External Link/Members Only

Or tell her you have caught your cock in your zip and it's too painful for sex till you get your results. 

[Stealthshagger]

+1 As said the results take two weeks. In the meantime, depending what you think it is and  if you have a safe address for delivery. You could order this External Link/Members Only

she might ask to see. mr bean does genital mutilation in order to cover that story just aint worth it.

[superchamp]

How about you hire a gigolo  to chat her up and eventually get in her pants. Then if the gigolo gets an STD you know you caught it from her. I don't think I've fully thought this one out somehow. 

[webpunter]

Always good to get a woman's perspective - so a drunken BJ is better than admitting to punting - great tip from Dani
If you've explored all other avenues / testing / waiting etc etc & decide to tell her then just remember to do a thorough clear out of anything that could link you to punting
Clear out your laptop - even worth paying some cash to an expert to wipe this as much as poss
Then re-introduce some predictable websites - porn etc.  But all reference to AW & UKP needs to be remove.  To clean a browser would look iffy in itself
And get shot of the Nokia punting mobile.  Full CSI forensic clean up

If you've got the slightest hint that she has been playing away then get yourself cleared up with some pills.  Then see if you catch anything from her
No big issue - but you can ask her what she's been doing. If she got you to have a blood test then on some infections the blood test may show a historic infection - but cleared up

There are some infections that can come back - under stress etc.  Sure a UKP 'doctor in the house' could advise.  You could then admit to a drunken BJ [as Dani mentions] a few years ago.  Lads night out - but you can't remember the details.  You felt really bad about this - got it treated.  And tried to get over it.  But its come back.  If you mention a recent infection then she'll 'have the drains up'.  Where / when / with whom / who were you out with.  The list will be endless.  And at some point then you'll fuck up.  Then she'll accuse you of lying AGAIN.  And you're fucked

And don't dramatically change your behaviour over the next few weeks / months etc.  The OH will deffo pick up on this & wonder why.  However a slight drift to being more loving towards her may be a good idea.  Go up in the loft looking for something - find some old wedding photos / stuff on when you were together ages ago.  Find the said stuff & put somewhere you can find this.  If the OH asks what's changed then its a simple answer.  You found the old photos.  And remembered the good times & wanted to try & re-kindle at least some of this.  You can then show her
Then if you have to open up about this then she may remember the good times too.  But don't reveal the photos you've seen / whatever on a Monday & then break the news on a Tuesday
Nothing too drastic - on all fronts - apart from ditching the Nokia as mentioned above.  Well wipe the phone itself & keep the SIM card - much easier to hide.  Smash the fuck out of the phone & dump somewhere

Only other plan would be to pretend that you have some bug infection - severe food poisoning.  Buy a shit-load of laxative [shit being the operative word].  Go to the doctors & get some general medication.  Some antibiotics will clear up sexual infections as well as STD's.  Make a point of going to the docs.  And get two loads of pills.  And then mention that the docs suggested that you mention to the OH & that she takes the pills.  She takes these as a preventative measure & the STD is cleared up hopefully
Trying to come up with drastic solutions to a potentially drastic situation
But as mentioned above - you could be panicking about nothing.  Get tested pronto.  You can also ask how infectious etc if +ve
Good luck.  Stay off the OWO in the future if you get clearance-clarence.  I was drifting towards this.  This thread & writing the reply has stopped any such thoughts of OWO

[Minder]

As others have said get tested first,  could be nothing,

Ive never had unprotected sex with a wg. had offers if i'm honest but cant take the risk,
so always turn down.

I went few weeks back, had a thought something wasn't right too 

So I find the local clinic , 2pm start think fine will go in 1:50pm,  the place was mobbed 
so I left again.

next week a go back, with the plan to go an hour early and Im first ok, but they don't open doors for the hour, fills up again. knowing I was first in i get to front lol,  then get handed form to fill in, spent 5 minutes thinking of a name,
in case when they shout it out i don't remember .

get to see a doc explained i thought something was wrong, and had a weakness for  wg 
so i get tested for everything,

Got given a card with special number all I needed to do was call enter number and dob and boom, got results.
months of worry over nothing, i passed all tests. 

This will sound crazy but I feel you have less chance of catching anything from a wg than you do at a club, because
for the most part at a club romance will most of the time be heat of the moment unprotected,


also if you do have something, you need to bite the bullet if you do, not easy but say it was a club thing 

[Minder]

also forgot to say something

Deny, Deny, Deny  eventually she will think its her 

[robs one]

Thanks for all the advice but I wont be spouting off to the OH until I'm tested and sure !
if the results come back positive I will be taking Dani's advice and tell her it was a drunken overseas BJ( mind you, feeding a tablet in a bit of food was a tempting idea!)
As for some of the others on here that have commented, I do hope you are never in this position!

[Daffodil]

Thanks for all the advice but I wont be spouting off to the OH until I'm tested and sure !
if the results come back positive I will be taking Dani's advice and tell her it was a drunken overseas BJ( mind you, feeding a tablet in a bit of food was a tempting idea!)
As for some of the others on here that have commented, I do hope you are never in this position!

If you do come back positive I hope you will be posting the link(s) of the girl(s) you suspect of causing this cluster fuck….

[robs one]

If you do come back positive I hope you will be posting the link(s) of the girl(s) you suspect of causing this cluster fuck….

I have thought about that but how do you know which one?
oh and by the way it can only have been caught from OWO as all other sex is covered. I wont be doing that again!

[touch.and.go]

Maybe you could say you were gang-raped in the park - and too embarassed to say anything? Grasping at straws I know - but if you find a viable excuse, we may all benefit one day? 

[Closet freak]

I have thought about that but how do you know which one?
oh and by the way it can only have been caught from OWO as all other sex is covered. I wont be doing that again!

Well then let's start with how many possibility s are there ?

[robs one]

Well then let's start with how many possibility s are there ?

I started punting back in feb 2013 and have been with around 35 different WG's

[cunnyhunt]

I started punting back in feb 2013 and have been with around 35 different WG's

It is likely to be in the last few weeks/months. Not a difficult task to remember who sucked your cock in this period of time.

Unless the initial post was bollocks 

[vt]

Thanks for all the advice but I wont be spouting off to the OH until I'm tested and sure !
if the results come back positive I will be taking Dani's advice and tell her it was a drunken overseas BJ( mind you, feeding a tablet in a bit of food was a tempting idea!)
As for some of the others on here that have commented, I do hope you are never in this position!

If it is an infection...and based on the symptoms it sounds like it, hopefully you'll get the catch-all diagnosis NSU (Non-Specific Urethritis) which will be a 'get out of jail free' card as although it can be Chlamydia, it can also be caused by irritation from chemicals in gels & soaps...maybe even from overzealous scrubbing to remove the smell of latex and other smells of punting...but at least a non-sexual cause!!