The sudden realisation your pro$$ie has a shitty arse !!!!

[Ego123]

I had a go at fucking a girl up yhe ass once got it in half way and pulled it out and it was covered in shit it ruined me I didn't know what to do where to touch nothing it was awful still haven't fucked a girl up the ass subsequently  lol yuk !!!

[Randy James]

     Dont girls who do A know how to douche out there bum hole ?

agree.
done some anal, and im sure they made sure as it involved ass to mouth.

one of my recent ones anal stunk abit so quickly retreated

but big plus is i never go down, so im ok this aspect. its not just muck thats puts me off, its piles and haemorroids

[dilettante]

If you're seriously worried about this and like rimming, go and see Gorgeous Linda in Brum.  Before she rimmed me (having showered just before) she used at least three wet wipes, each of which was scrutinised and carefully assessed to a timewasting fault;  then when it was my turn repeated the procedure on herself.

Though it was in fact a waste of even more time, as it would have been easier to achieve the conjunction of the north poles of a pair of high-powered electromagnets, than it was for me to get my tongue her arsehole for more than a second, she was so fidgety! 

[The_Black_Bloke]

never happened to me but i have had a whiff of smelly vag and also smeggy clit.... ewwww haha

[Roth]

never happened to me but i have had a whiff of smelly vag and also smeggy clit.... ewwww haha

On one of my first punts, the prossie was good looking but had a hairy vag that smelt of piss.  Needless to say I did not dwell on RO and I did not return.

[Stealthshagger]

On one of my first punts, the prossie was good looking but had a hairy vag that smelt of piss.  Needless to say I did not dwell on RO and I did not return.

Sure it wasn't a drunk gnome you tried to kiss?

[Toshiba]

     Dont girls who do A know how to douche out there bum hole ?

Only the ones with a brain do that.

Put something near an arse and expect bad things , thats why i try and keep away from it, but i personally love being rimmed So hey ho

[backofthenet]

God, I never thought I'd ever need to post on this topic.

Had an outcall earlier - young English girl, nice enough, though slightly podgier than her profile photos. (plus ca change)

When I ventured south I was greeted with a real shock - I knew she had a hairy clopper as she mentioned it in her listing, and in honest I was slightly curious - it's so long since I've seen one there was even a hint of nostalgia about it. But it did have a slightly fusty smell/taste - I started with the clitoris but the further south I went I was getting pissy wafts. My thought process was to go straight for the rusty sheriff's badge. However, I then pushed her back to get a proper look, and noticed her arsehole was caked in shit. Froze for a second, then said "I think you've had an accident". She said "oh sorry, I did a fart on the way here, and obviously there was more to it than I thought". Basically, she had sharted and hadn't realised. 

Fucking revolting - I finished the punt but it really ruined the mood. Not going to post a link as she was a nice girl and genuinely apologetic. But God almighty - from now on I will ALWAYS perform a visual check as if I hadn't I would have put my tongue straight in it.

[maxxblue]

Link?

Or even better - review?

[threechilliman]

Not going to post a link as she was a nice girl and genuinely apologetic.

Think about what you paid her, then decide whether she's a nice girl - remember, other punters will be thinking of booking her. The whole point of this site is to save others from experiencing this.

She would get an instant -ve review from me.

tcm

[maxxblue]

God, I never thought I'd ever need to post on this topic.

Had an outcall earlier - young English girl, nice enough, though slightly podgier than her profile photos. (plus ca change)

When I ventured south I was greeted with a real shock - I knew she had a hairy clopper as she mentioned it in her listing, and in honest I was slightly curious - it's so long since I've seen one there was even a hint of nostalgia about it. But it did have a slightly fusty smell/taste - I started with the clitoris but the further south I went I was getting pissy wafts. My thought process was to go straight for the rusty sheriff's badge. However, I then pushed her back to get a proper look, and noticed her arsehole was caked in shit. Froze for a second, then said "I think you've had an accident". She said "oh sorry, I did a fart on the way here, and obviously there was more to it than I thought". Basically, she had sharted and hadn't realised. 

Fucking revolting - I finished the punt but it really ruined the mood. Not going to post a link as she was a nice girl and genuinely apologetic. But God almighty - from now on I will ALWAYS perform a visual check as if I hadn't I would have put my tongue straight in it.

Sorry, I missed what you said about posting a link....

..but I don't understand why. 'Fucking revolting' is hardly a glowing endorsement. Is your allegiance to a shitty arsed WG, or to your fellow punters?

Clearly the former.

Disappointed in you, backofthenet!

[Bangers and Gash]

Think about what you paid her, then decide whether she's a nice girl - remember, other punters will be thinking of booking her. The whole point of this site is to save others from experiencing this.

Exactly. Not everybody is as genuine and honest as us UKP members  , but an unscrupulous conning pro$$ie could use the shitty arse trick as a punt killer and just walk away with the money.... time after time...

Name and shame that skiddy knickered biatch. 

[cueball]

Not going to post a link as she was a nice girl and genuinely apologetic.

I think you're missing a point here bud, there no way you can shit yourself and not know. She's not as nice as face value would have it.
As said above, a review is needed here, you know how valuable a review is to all of us.

That's just not acceptable no matter how sweet her smile is, did she refund you? Offer extras to compensate? Or just take your brass and smile sweetly?

[Tjkooker]

Classic example of why I don't see fat prossies.

[socks]

Hey back of the net, you've got to put your punting brethren's needs first mate. That said I'm hoping you're exercising the "delayed review to protect your identity" protocol. Look forward to a review soon enough to help us out but far enough after the event for her to struggle to remember you. That said if she can't distinguish between multiple occasions when she's presented her customer with a ringpiece caked in shit, then god help us!!!

[Roth]

Hey back of the net, you've got to put your punting brethren's needs first mate. That said I'm hoping you're exercising the "delayed review to protect your identity" protocol. Look forward to a review soon enough to help us out but far enough after the event for her to struggle to remember you. That said if she can't distinguish between multiple occasions when she's presented her customer with a ringpiece caked in shit, then god help us!!!

+1

Yep. Review needed. Or at least a link. 

[Deepstroker]

OMG what an interesting but slightly stomach churning expose of girls who cant even clean their arse and yet there are so many of them. They either whiff of piss or sh!t,have a cheesy quim, cling ons or a smelly tea towel holder. Now i have knobbed plenty of WGs who are scrupulously clean but even so, im not into licking someones bullet hole..why would I? This discussion has just re-enforced my extended my self imposed punting ban...

[Brazilian Martian]

Check out this chocolate starfish...likely sponsored by Cadburys...must be on AW somewhere...

External Link/Members Only

Bloody hell that poor guy I would not wish that on my worst enemy

[starman555]

backofthenet............Give us a link you fucking ice cream...the dirty bitch might end up in my bed and I wont thank you for it!

[306]

Bloody hell that poor guy I would not wish that on my worst enemy

that is just bad

[CardiffCentral]

From what I've seen the dirtiest escorts are more likely to be larger ladies and skinny drug using skanky ones. 

A few years ago I was about to book a girl off AW, who seemed entirely lovely on the phone, but before I left I accessed her PG pics.  One of them was her bent over, spreading her cheeks...and...well...her ring piece was covered in GREEN shit.  BRIGHT GREEN!!!

I felt ill and canceled there and then.

What I've always wondered is....what do you married guys do with your wives?  Surely there are times when you've caught a wiff of whatever she's curling off in the en-suite before bed time?  Maybe she lets off a discrete fart when she thinks you're in the mood for sex?  There's got to come a point when her bowel movements have ruined the relationship?   

[Punting Valley]

The only time I have experienced something like this was when we were playing with anal toys. I pulled the toy out of her really fast and I could clearly see some shit residue on the toy, didn't tell her though, just quickly wrapped the toy with tissue paper and left it aside  Surprisingly I was not turned off at all (nor was I turned on), I understand after all shit happens during anal play.

[Roth]

Sure it wasn't a drunk gnome you tried to kiss?

Ah, yes, that explains it!     Fucking gnomes! 

[Dipper]

A true punt destroyer this.

There just doesn't seem to be any way you can angle your nostrils away from it at times.   

Before you know it you've had to cave in and return to mish.

[Brazilian Martian]

A true punt destroyer this.

There just doesn't seem to be any way you can angle your nostrils away from it at times.   

Before you know it you've had to cave in and return to mish.

What made you bring this thread back from the dead ?

[Dipper]

A casual browse led to it.

[Brazilian Martian]

A casual browse led to it.

Fair enough, this happend to me earlier this year I got fecal mess  over my t shirt i was forced to cut the punt short and get a semi refund.

[Dipper]

Good Lord

It's a strange one at times, because all can seem well during oral.
But when it's time to bend over that unmistakable sweat/Shite combo is like a thick fog occasionally. 

[Brazilian Martian]

Good Lord

It's a strange one at times, because all can seem well during oral.
But when it's time to bend over that unmistakable sweat/Shite combo is like a thick fog occasionally. 

Loool I still have nightmares about it now it's funny that you only smell it during doggy style, but I've met prossies that I could smell their fishy pussy during missionary.

[Marmalade]

A true punt destroyer this.

There just doesn't seem to be any way you can angle your nostrils away from it at times.   

Before you know it you've had to cave in and return to mish.

So.... write a review?

[Dipper]

Dear me. 

But in fairness, it probably occurs at a similar rate in civilian life.

[Dipper]

So.... write a review?

Getting there, still not grasped the site etiquette as yet.

Don't want all and sundry dissing my review style 

[Brazilian Martian]

Dear me. 

But in fairness, it probably occurs at a similar rate in civilian life.

.
Hmmm in my teens girls may of had fishy fannys, but I would not tolerate that from any girl in civvie mode I would walk or tell them to get the fuck out of my house  :angry. There is no excuse for a woman to smell frowsy in the downstairs department unless she has BV

[Type_O_Negative]

.
Hmmm in my teens girls may of had fishy fannys, but I would not tolerate that from any girl in civvie mode I would walk or tell them to get the fuck out of my house  :angry. There is no excuse for a woman to smell frowsy in the downstairs department unless she has BV

Girls i work with must follow uniform policy when on duty. They do 12 hour shifts, they wear thick tights - just imagine how fishy and sweaty their pussies are during summer time at the end of shifts 

[Shearer1955]

There is mebbe a job there...official pussy taster for those girls at the end of their shift 

[cueball]

Getting there, still not grasped the site etiquette as yet.

  you've been a member for 16 months 

[Shearer1955]

Unfortunately if you like a little bum fun then there can sometimes be unforeseen consequences which are very off putting...

[Dipper]

you've been a member for 16 months 

I'm shy....

[cueball]

I'm shyte....

 

[Brazilian Martian]

Unfortunately if you like a little bum fun then there can sometimes be unforeseen consequences which are very off putting...

I've had a girl say that to me, my response was if you douche  properly at least twice then you should be good to go. My issue is is when I'm not even attemptimg anal it's just vaginal sex in doggy style. Which means that the lady must have problems with wiping their own ass.

[Brazilian Martian]

Girls i work with must follow uniform policy when on duty. They do 12 hour shifts, they wear thick tights - just imagine how fishy and sweaty their pussies are during summer time at the end of shifts 

God damn if one of them were my other half i would insist on them having a shower before oral or penetration.

[horsa]

.
Hmmm in my teens girls may of had fishy fannys, but I would not tolerate that from any girl in civvie mode I would walk or tell them to get the fuck out of my house  :angry. There is no excuse for a woman to smell frowsy in the downstairs department unless she has BV

Do you agree that girls that live a clean and healthy lifestyle (no takeaways, no alcohol, no drugs, clean foods - vegetables etc)  dont smell downstairs?

[Type_O_Negative]

Do you agree that girls that live a clean and healthy lifestyle (no takeaways, no alcohol, no drugs, clean foods - vegetables etc)  dont smell downstairs?

They do smell downstairs. It's how human body works. When you look after yourself - live a clean and healthy lifestyle - you still get sweaty. Sweat as a liquid doesn't smell. But bacterias which grow quickly in sweat make it stinky.

Food, temperature, time, oxygen, moisture - bacteria needs them to grow. Human body delivers all of them.

[unclepokey]

There's only one thing to do. Get each of you to have an anal douch - and do it until you both run clean.

Uncle Pokey

[Dipper]

Pure cheek

[WhackDaddy]

Not really a cock to arse story but on a punt about 10 years ago up in Leeds I went to this Prossie house the room was quite dark anyway doing her doggy I decided to stick a finger or two in her arse. No odious smells or anything . Anywho when I'd finished and left got into the car when the internal light was on looked at my hand and my fingers where all covered in shit. Good job it did not wipe my nose without looking.

Top Tip don't fuck in a darkened room.

[Littlefoot]

Don't know why, but the title heading of this topic cracks me up 

But on a serious note, I've never encountered a shitty aris. Had a few stinkers in my time. Whilst doing doggy one day, a terrible whiff wafted up. Smelt like she had a dead rat up there! Made mr happy, mr floppy!

I don't know what I'd do if I ever came across a shitty back passage or even worse clinkers. I'd probably make my excuses and get the fuck out of there asap!   

[NigelF]

Getting there, still not grasped the site etiquette as yet.

Don't want all and sundry dissing my review style 

Wise up and get cracking. Read this if you need help: External Link/Members Only

When I first started posting I went straight in with some reviews and was expecting to be lambasted. Nothing happened (except praise and thanks). In all my 45 reviews I don't think I've ever been properly criticised. To be honest, I'm a bit fuckin disappointed!

[Shearer1955]

Nige - your last review was shite - hope that helps! 

[Dipper]

Wise up and get cracking. Read this if you need help: External Link/Members Only

When I first started posting I went straight in with some reviews and was expecting to be lambasted. Nothing happened (except praise and thanks). In all my 45 reviews I don't think I've ever been properly criticised. To be honest, I'm a bit fuckin disappointed!

Noted.  Still rather daunting for the uninitiated and IT wary though